“Siwon-ssi?”

Kyuhyun called from where he was standing in the living room, a hand on his side supporting his baby weight as he was intently looking through the sheet of paper stuck on the wall next to the TV.

“Yes?”

He heard a shout from Siwon who was in the kitchen putting their breakfast dishes in the dish washer before he continued.

“Do we have an appointment with Dr.Park today?”

Siwon frowned, reaching for a towel to dry his hands before approaching the surrogate. It was clear from the schedule hanged on the wall that they do have to visit Kyuhyun’s doctor, but what made him confused, was not being it the first time that scene had happened.

“Yeah”

Kyuhyun nervously bit on his bottom lip before turning to face the older and pleadingly asked “Can we postpone it until tomorrow?”

That’s what Siwon was always curious about. It already happened a couple of times before, with Kyuhyun asking to change the appointment, and him being vulnerable in front of the younger’s puppy eyes, he would always agree. However, now that it was happening again, he felt like he needed to get to the bottom of it.

“Why?”

Kyuhyun could feel the curiosity in Siwon’s tone as the latter waited for an answer with arms folded over his chest and eyes sternly looking at him, but he still didn’t know how to tell him the truth. Instead, he just faked a short laugh as he said “I forgot that I made plans with Chullie hyung. He will be so upset if I cancel because I haven’t seen him in a while”

Siwon knew that something was off. Living with Kyuhyun for the past five months, he could tell when the boy was lying and when he was telling the truth.

Nevertheless, he also knew that it wasn’t that easy to make Kyuhyun open up to him, or if he had the right to ask in the first place, so he just shortly nodded before going back to the kitchen.

“Is that a yes?”

Kyuhyun yelled out, earning a faint ‘yeah’ before he quickly headed upstairs to get dressed.

When he was in the living room again, he searched for Siwon and found him in his office, shortly sneaking his head inside to inform him about his leave before disappearing from the house and out of the building.

He didn’t notice that right after he got in the taxi, Siwon was also getting in his car intending to follow him. Although it felt wrong on so many levels, Siwon’s heart felt uneasy about Kyuhyun’s latest behavior and he just wanted some answers.

Siwon had never even thought that one day he would spy on someone, especially Kyuhyun. However, the surrogate had been so mysterious lately, going out often with a different excuse each time, leaving him kind of disappointed since he always knew when Kyuhyun was hiding something yet he couldn’t confront him.

So following the cab, Siwon made sure to stay a couple of cars behind so Kyuhyun wouldn’t notice him, and when the taxi finally stopped in some district which was definitely not Sapphire Hope where Kyuhyun said he was meeting his hyung, Siwon’s heart did a hurtful leap as different scenarios started playing in his head.

Slowly getting out of the car, he carefully followed Kyuhyun inside the building, waiting for him to take the lift and see which floor he was heading to before rushing to the stairs so he would arrive before him.

He waited by the exit door, and a few seconds later he saw Kyuhyun walking down the hall and knocking on one of the doors at the far corner. His heart was inexplicably squeezed for a reason he didn’t know as he watched Kyuhyun smilingly greeting someone, then a hand was ruffling his hair sending a light wave of blush into his cheeks and managing to make Siwon’s heart boil with an unfigurable feeling.

Kyuhyun’s endearing blush and the way he was smiling sweetly to that person behind the door made Siwon furious to witness the scene, but he couldn’t just turn around and leave. He knew it was wrong following him and spying on him, but he thought him and Kyuhyun have come a long way and he didn’t like having secrets between them although that wasn’t the entire reason for doing this.

After five minutes of contemplating if he should risk having Kyuhyun super mad at him for following him, or walking away and pretending everything was good even though it would definitely be not, he found himself already knocking on the door and regretting it immediately when a beautiful girl, in her twenties maybe, opened the door for him.

He stood frozen in place, examining the figure before him with her short dress and her cute round face before getting lost in the sudden clench in his chest and so he didn't notice how the girl was questionably looking at him waiting for him to introduce himself.

Something weird tugged in his heart and suddenly the way Kyuhyun seemed to be cheerful lately flashed before his eyes, concluding that the girl in front of him must be the reason for it.

“Can I help you?”

She softly asked, bringing Siwon out of his thoughts as he stared at his feet for a moment before looking up again. However, as he was about to run away, not seeming ready to find out the girl’s relationship to Kyuhyun, the boy messing up his heart stepped out of one of the rooms, eyes bulging out as he also stood still in his place not quite expecting to see Siwon there.

“S-Siwon-ssi”

Seeing the shocked expression, Siwon took it as an answer to his questions, thus hurtfully walking away from the scene while silently cursing himself for ever following the surrogate.

Before he could step down the stairs though, he abruptly felt a strong grip on his elbow and when he turned around, Kyuhyun was anxiously looking at him, eyes somewhat teary and unfocused which left him way more confused than he was that morning.

“It’s not what you think”

What do I think really? It’s not even my business if he’s dating that girl. He’s carrying my child but… why am I this angry about him having another life? Why is my heart frustratingly drumming?

Siwon confusedly thought, pursing his lips together as he averted his gaze away to not let Kyuhyun see the disappointment on his face.

“Please~” Kyuhyun pleaded, his hand tugging on Siwon’s arm not wanting to let go.

It was really hard for Siwon at the moment because he didn’t know why he was feeling hurt in the first place. True that Kyuhyun was carrying his baby, and true that they got to be closer during the process, but denial was still playing through his head and as much as it tried to break free, something was holding it back.

Too lost in his inner thoughts, Siwon unconsciously let himself being dragged back to the apartment, only realizing what was happening when his eyes met the girl who was still curiously standing at the doorstep, shortly narrowing them in anger before Kyuhyun’s hand had reached for his, gripping on it tightly yet gently, and the warmth spread directly to his heart making him forget about his surroundings.

He only snapped out of it when Kyuhyun squeezed his hand, bringing him back to reality as his sight roamed the place and fell on a lifeless body lying on a bed in the middle of the room, several machines hooked to his body as the beeping from the heart monitor echoed in his ears.

“This is Cho Donghae. My brother”

Siwon’s eyes widened, snapping his head in Kyuhyun’s direction and questionably eyeing him. He instantly felt horrible for thinking Kyuhyun was in a secret relationship, although that was soon at the back of his mind when he realized that he had no idea about this part of Kyuhyun’s life.

“W-What…”

He stuttered, shifting his gaze to the sleeping man as he, for the first time in his life, wasn’t able to form a full sentence. He could feel Kyuhyun’s hand tightening around his again as if assuring him it was okay, and when his eyes met the younger’s again, noting the sad smile etched on his lips, a sudden sadness washed over him and all he wanted to do was hug the boy.

“He’s in a coma”

Kyuhyun explained upon seeing the awestruck look on Siwon’s face, making the latter look at him in shock.

“For how long?”

“Almost a year”

“What?”

Siwon could not believe that it had been going on for a year, to which five months Kyuhyun was living with him in the same house, yet he knew nothing about it. Was he that bad to not realize what was going on in Kyuhyun’s life? Was he that blind to not notice the rough time Kyuhyun was going through?

“You never told me”

He barely whispered, and Kyuhyun felt guilty for not telling him about Donghae before. In between their first encounter where they obviously had lots of misunderstandings, and along the way when they started getting close, Kyuhyun still had doubts about whether he should tell Siwon about his brother or not. It wasn’t like he didn’t trust him now, but talking about his family always managed to remind him of his lost ones.

“That girl, Sulli, is Changmin’s older sister. She’s a nurse and she’s been checking up on my hyung whenever she has the time”

Kyuhyun felt the need to explain, although he didn’t know if Siwon was mad at that part, or just the fact that he lied to him about his whereabouts.

Siwon on the other hand, didn’t know if he should sigh in relief to know the girl wasn’t involved in some romantic kind with the surrogate, or feel bad for even doubting him in the first place.

“My friends are kind enough to watch over him as well”

Kyuhyun added with a sincere smile, thankful to his friends for being there for him and never leaving his side. Nevertheless, as he immediately noted how Siwon’s body tensed up at his words, he stepped closer to him and circled his free hand around his arm while timidly smiling.

He was also thankful to Siwon because even if the latter didn’t know about Donghae, he still made Kyuhyun’s days happier ever since he moved in with him. Recalling about the times they spent together, Kyuhyun’s smile expanded as he looked down at their still joined fingers, his heart fluttering at the warmth radiating from Siwon’s hand.

“Kyu!”

A voice came in then Changmin stepped inside the room, eyes widening when he saw who was there with his friend.

“Oh, sorry to interrupt”

“It’s okay”

Kyuhyun gave him a gentle smile, his cheeks turning red since Changmin caught him clinging to Siwon, although he didn’t attempt to pull away.

“Since he’s here, let’s go”

Siwon abruptly exclaimed as he pulled tighter on Kyuhyun’s hand, already getting him out of the room.

“Where?”

Kyuhyun questionably eyed him, confused to what was in Siwon’s mind.

“We need to talk”

.
.
.

After fifteen minute drive, with Kyuhyun asking Siwon where were they heading and not getting any answer, the older parked his car on the Han river bridge and wasted no time in getting down and walking to help Kyuhyun get out as well.

The whole drive Siwon had an unreadable expression on his face and he didn’t glance at Kyuhyun even once as he only focused on the road.

Now standing by the bridge, he stared at the river for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts together and trying to stop the torment and the self-scolding going inside him.

Kyuhyun on the other hand, could only stand there in silence, nervous because he had never seen the current look on Siwon’s face before. He didn’t know if the man was angry at him for not telling him the truth, or maybe he felt left out for not knowing about Kyuhyun’s past. Whatever it was, he just knew he didn’t want Siwon to be upset with him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Siwon whispered, eyes still focused ahead because he didn’t think he could take looking at Kyuhyun without blaming himself for knowing nothing about the person carrying his child.

“I didn’t know you”

Kyuhyun breathed out, taking a few steps closer and abruptly stopping when Siwon glanced at him, eyebrows frowning and lips pursed together clearly not liking the response.

“But five months? Kyuhyun! How could you hide such thing from me?”

Siwon’s tone got higher, unable to control his emotions. Kyuhyun flinched but he determinedly eyed him as he started explaining.

“I didn’t know if I could trust you, and I don’t really go around telling strangers about my brother’s health”

“Strangers? I see”

There was clear hurt in Siwon’s eyes and it didn’t go unnoticed by the younger who immediately gripped on the man’s arm.

“No it’s not what I mean” He sighed, not sure how to explain his feelings because it all went too fast in his relationship with Siwon and the pregnancy that he just forgot to let him know about his past, not wanting to sound gloomy.

“At first, you were a stranger so I couldn’t open up to you”

“What about now? What about the past couple of months? Am I still a stranger?”

“No!” Kyuhyun snapped, turning Siwon to face him and placing his hands on the sides of the man’s arms while looking him straight in the eyes.

“I just… it’s hard to talk about it, okay? Talking about it makes me remember things. It makes me re-live my past and it’s tough, Siwon-ssi… I’m not that strong”

Tears instantly formed in the corners of his eyes, and when Siwon’s look turned into the soft one he was so used to, they broke free, trickling down his cheeks.

Siwon’s hands flew to cup Kyuhyun’s face, his thumbs gently wiping away his tears before he softly spoke.

“You still should’ve told me. I could’ve helped”

“I don’t want you to pity me”

“I do not!”

Siwon retorted, but he quickly got his composure back as he sighed and apologetically gazed at Kyuhyun.

“You already helped me though”

“How?”

Kyuhyun sweetly smiled, causing Siwon to confusedly eye him as he waited for a reply.

“This job”

Kyuhyun patted his belly bump, his face glistening from the tears yet the smile etched on his lips made Siwon lost in the view for a moment, his brain suddenly reminding him of an important thing.

“Wait, so the money…" The younger guiltily bit on his bottom lip and it was an answer enough for Siwon "Oh Kyuhyun!”

The realization hit him hard, freeing himself from the surrogate and turning away, unable to face him right now. The reason Kyuhyun accepted that extra money was to help his brother and Siwon thought he was just greedy. Even though they went through a lot since that second meeting, Siwon always questioned Kyuhyun’s intention no matter how sweet and kind he turned out to be. His heart ached at the accusation and he felt angry tears b in his eyes.

“I really didn’t want to take it but I had to. They were going to kill him”

Kyuhyun’s words made Siwon face him again and immediately engulfing him in a tight hug.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry”

He repeatedly whispered in his ear, causing Kyuhyun to start crying again as he recalled all the misery and the guilt he felt when he had to take something he didn’t deserve. Although it was for his family’s sake, still he could never forget the look Siwon gave him that day.

“I-I can’t lose him so I did what I had to do”

Siwon’s arms tightened, running his hands over Kyuhyun’s back while soothingly whispering in his ear “I understand. I’m sorry”

.
.

When the weather started getting a little chilly, Siwon drove them back to his apartment and led Kyuhyun to the kitchen to make him a hot cocoa, smiling as he recalled the start of it all.

He didn’t know the whole story behind Donghae’s condition, and even though he was curious, he wanted Kyuhyun to open up to him without him asking. Luckily, the feeling was mutual because as Siwon put the cup in front of him and took a seat across, Kyuhyun willingly started telling him about his past.

“It was my fault actually”

Siwon was startled, silently waiting for Kyuhyun, who buried his face in his cup of cocoa to explain what he meant.

“The accident… it was all my fault”

Kyuhyun looked up, meeting Siwon’s questioning eyes, and something in there told him it was okay to talk about it. It was actually the first time he ever even admitted to anyone that it was his fault, not even his friends. However, something about Siwon always made him feel comforted.

“I'm originally from Busan, and when I graduated from high school, my parents couldn’t afford two college tuitions and I really wanted to go so bad. I filed up for a scholarship and I was so excited when I got it, thinking all problems would be solved. When I told my dad however, he said I still couldn’t go because it was in Seoul, and even though the college expenses were paid, he still wouldn’t be able to afford my other necessities”

Kyuhyun paused, taking another sip from his cup and trying to control his tears. It was hard talking about his parents but as his eyes shortly met Siwon’s, he felt a sudden sense of tenderness wash over him.

“I was so bummed and I didn’t speak to them for several days. I always imagined myself going to college and continuing my studies. That’s what everyone wants to do after high school, right? Anyway, as I was about to give up on my dream, Donghae hyung talked to my parents and said he would take a few years off so I could go to college. I was so thankful to him and even though my parents disagreed at first, saying it’s still dangerous living alone in such a city, Hyung came to my rescue again. He said he would move in with me and find a job here so he could take care of me”

Siwon stood up and walked over to where Kyuhyun was sitting, leaning his back on the counter and reaching for one of Kyuhyun’s hands as he intently kept listening to the boy’s story. He could feel something was coming up and his heart told him to stay close in case Kyuhyun needed him.

Smiling at the way his hand was covered by Siwon’s slightly bigger one, Kyuhyun appreciated the older’s presence and he was glad to have someone to listen to him. Taking a deep breath, he locked his eyes on the way Siwon’s thumb gently caressed his fingers as he continued.

“So, by the end of my first year, there was this musical where I was playing the lead role and I really wanted my family to be there and see me perform. They didn’t disappoint me, because they came and they were so proud of me.

Unfortunately, they had to return to Busan on the same night because my dad had to work the next morning. Me and Donghae hyung were supposed to go back with them to spend a few days together but since I still had a few things to take care of, Donghae hyung returned with them and I was supposed to follow the next day.

An hour later, I got a call from the hospital. Some drunken fell asleep behind the wheel and his car was playing on the road so when my dad tried to avoid him he was pushed to the railing and the car flipped.

My parents…”  Kyuhyun paused again, choking on his tears as he momentarily closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing, a sole tear managing to escape. Siwon could feel his trembling fingers and he tightened his hold while taking another step closer.

“They died on the scene, while my brother was taken to the hospital. When I got there he was in surgery and everyone was telling me not to hope much because it was a very serious accident. I called Heechul hyung and Hangeng hyung and they were there in an instant. I wouldn’t have known what to do without them… especially when they told me that Donghae hyung was in a coma and that they didn’t know if he would wake up or not”

Siwon’s expression fell, instantly walking behind him and wrapping his arms around his chest.

“I’m so sorry… but you know it’s not your fault”

He assured him, earning a frantic head shake from Kyuhyun whose more tears betrayed him.

“If I hadn’t insisted on them coming to the musical, none of this would’ve happened!”

Siwon couldn’t watch Kyuhyun blame himself for something that he had no choice in. Detaching himself, he turned Kyuhyun around and cupped his cheeks, letting their gazes meet.

“No. They wanted to be there Kyuhyun. It’s not your fault. It’s just meant to happen”

“But I should’ve been there with them!”

Kyuhyun started sobbing, the flowing tears causing Siwon’s heart to break. Wiping them away, Siwon placed a peck on the younger’s forehead before bringing him to his embrace.

“Hey, don’t say that. You weren’t meant to be there. You were meant to stay alive, okay?”

“I-I miss them”

Kyuhyun clutched on the back of Siwon’s shirt, crying louder as he remembered his parents and all the memories he shared with them. It had been so hard living without them and even though on the outside he looked okay, deep inside, he could never shake off the feeling of having lost the most important people in his life.

“I know”

“I r-really d-do”

“I know”

Siwon hugged him firmer, his hand caressing his hair while planting kisses on top of his head. He never wants to see Kyuhyun crying because it always saddens him. In the short period of time that they lived together, he grew very attached to the surrogate and with each passing day he wanted to protect him even more. He may have not realized why exactly he felt so protective of him, but his heart always ached whenever the younger was upset.

Feeling the sobbing reducing into sniffs, Siwon swiftly lifted the boy bridal style and walked to sit on the couch without breaking the hug. Kyuhyun was taken aback, but when his head was buried in the crook of Siwon’s neck and the intoxicating smell rushed through his nostrils, he could only hang on tighter and let himself drown in the older’s embrace. His heart was thumbing hard and it was flattering to hear Siwon’s doing the same. Closing his eyes, he let the man’s heartbeats calm him down.

.
.

“Kyuhyun”

Siwon softly called after a few minutes just savoring being in each other’s arms and wondering about the meaning behind the unusual comfort, the not awkward silence, and simply the tingly feelings they share whenever they were around each other.

“Hm?”

“You always say you hate rich people. May I ask why?”

Kyuhyun sighed, pulling away enough to meet Siwon’s eyes.

“That guy’s family, the one who caused the accident, volunteered to pay for the hospital expenses and my parent’s funeral to somewhat redeem their son’s fault. They used their power of course to not let him go to jail and since I’m a nobody, no one cared. Heechul hyung and Hangeng hyung tried, but they couldn’t do anything”

Siwon nodded in understanding, yet a little frown was still craved between his eyebrows and so Kyuhyun carried on.

“A week after the accident, the hospital informed me that they will take off the life support machines off my brother if I don’t start paying. They said the family stopped taking care of the bills since they thought it was in vain and that my brother was already dead. I shouted and yelled, I even called the police, but no one even spared me a second glance. It was a horrible experience and all I could think of was keeping my brother alive”

New tears brimmed in his eyes and he tried willing them away by taking a few breaths.

“But how did you afford those machines before… this”

Siwon motioned to the baby bump, making Kyuhyun sincerely smile for the first time that day as he rested his hand on his tummy and lovingly caressed the surface.

“I sold our house in Busan. As much as it was a tough decision, I… didn’t know what else to do”

The thought of the many sacrifices that Kyuhyun made for the sake of his family left Siwon speechless. He also lost his mother but it wasn’t due to an accident and he had known it beforehand and was prepared for it. However, having a family at one second then losing them all at the next must feel horrible.

“I’m so sorry, Kyuhyun”

“I don’t like money. I really don’t”

Kyuhyun exclaimed, suddenly making Siwon feel guilty for all the hurt he caused the younger in the beginning. Cupping his cheek with one hand while the other one secured behind Kyuhyun’s head, Siwon’s face turned serious as he spoke.

“You went through a lot, then I came and flashed my money in front of you. I’m so sorry, I don’t know what hit me. I’m not that kind of a man, I swear”

The words were very sincere that Kyuhyun could only smile in appreciation. He may have thought Siwon was that kind of a man who uses his money to get what he wants at first, but in time, he learned more about him and came to respect him.

“I know, Siwon-ssi. At first I thought you were like them, but as I got to know you better… you’re nothing like them”

Siwon’s face broke into a smile, pulling Kyuhyun back to his embrace while his hand flew to rest on his belly, thinking about how lucky his baby is to be living inside of him.

“Kyuhyun”

“Yes, Siwon-ssi”

“Let’s lose the formality, okay?”

“Hm?” Kyuhyun confusedly eyed him, giving a questioning look when Siwon grinned at him.

“I’m slightly older than you so you should call me hyung”

Kyuhyun’s puffy eyes widened, his jaw falling open as he surprisingly asked “Can I? I don’t want to be rude”

“You won’t”

Beautifully smiling, Kyuhyun shortly bit on his lower lip before muttering.

“Okay… Siwon hyung”

“Much better”

The proud look on Siwon’s face emitted an adorable chuckle from Kyuhyun, stretching his neck forward and placing a peck on the corner of the man’s lips, managing to startle both of them as they suddenly realized how close they were, eyes involuntary switching to each other' lips before Kyuhyun embarrassedly hanged his head down with a deep blush, silently cursing his mouth for what he just did, while Siwon only repeatedly blinked, too confused about his raging heart.

After a few minutes of silence, Siwon peeked at the boy curled up in his arms to find him already asleep. Smiling, he took a few seconds to marvel at his peaceful expression, promising himself to always protect him and make it up to him for all the misunderstandings they once had.

"Hyukjae, I'll text you an address so meet me there tomorrow, okay?"

> Is everything alright? <

"I'll make sure it is... He deserves it"

-Tbc -

A/N: I'm so sorry guys for the late update! I know it's been nearly two months but for those who doesn't know, I just got a job and it's super busy that's why I haven't been around (_ _)
I'm trying to get used to it though and make time for my writings.

Back to the story, your Donghae questions are finally answered :D
More to come soon and we need some wonkyu progress already, right? XD

Btw, I was so surprised about the numbers of subscribers in this story! +500 and 60 upvote!
Thank you so much for your support!
I may not have time to reply to all comments but know that I do appreciate each and every  one!

Until the next update, Take care
^^