CH 2 ;

Joe took a deep breath and propped himself up on an arm to sit up. He figured that he was on the hospital bed by the smell of his surroundings. His eyes had a bandage and a metal shield over it, so his world was overwhelmed by darkness as usual.

His eyes hurt a little each time he blinked. He was experiencing a whole new, weird and foreign feeling. Although he was still engulfed in darkness, he knew that he could see now. He could see, thanks to another person who he did not know at all. Joe still hated that feeling. He hated that now his eyes were no longer his, but it was replaced with another person's cornea. He belittled himself for his shallow mindset, but once again, it was not his fault that he was so closed up in his own little world of music and himself.

He smelt his mum's faint perfume scent lingering in the air.

"Mum?"

No reply. He tried again, knowing that his mother was in the room too. 
"Mum?" He repeated, this time a little louder.

"You're awake! Are you feeling okay?" He heard his mum's strained voice and immediately regretted calling her. He had just woken her up.

"Yea. I'm fine." Joe lied through his teeth. No, he was not at the least bit fine. His eyes were starting to hurt quite a lot.

"It's been 5 hours since you finished the operation." His mum stated, causing him to gasp. The anesthesia sure did a number on Joe, having caused him to be unconscious for more than 8 hours, if he were to include the operation duration in.

"The doctor said to bring you to his office when you regain consciousness." Joe heard his mum stand up from the couch in the ward and walk towards him, helping him up from the bed and guided him to the doctor's office.

"How do you feel?" The doctor asked the moment Joe sat down on a chair in front of the desk.

Joe pondered for a moment. A few minutes ago he had told his mum he was fine. However he knew that he should not lie to the doctor.

"It hurts." Joe replied, preparing himself to hear his mother questioning him why he said he was fine earlier on.

However, she kept mum.

"Then you're on the right track." The doctor told Joe, causing Joe to hurl a bunch of vulgarities at the doctor internally. It was hurting so damn much and here was the doctor saying his eyes being painful was on the right track. What on earth was he implying?

"It's normal to feel pain when you're blinking. It'll be fine after a few days." He said, as though he could read Joe's mind.

The doctor slowly removed the bandage, took a look, and pronounced everything fine. Joe found himself seeing light for the first time in years.

He blinked hard and fast, not knowing what to expect when he first looked at the room with his new eyes. It definitely felt weird.

He looked into the doctor's eyes and studied his facial features for a moment before looking around to find his mother.

"Your mother left the room and is waiting outside." The doctor said upon realising why the teenage boy was looking around the office.

Ah, no wonder she did not question me for lying to her...

Joe nodded and started looking around curiously, despite the pain he was experiencing in his eyes.

He started to feel a little joy for being able to see light again, until pang! It hit him.

He was using a stranger's cornea to see.

It was not his new eyes, it was another person's eyes which had been used for however long that person lived.

His heart started to sink.

The hatred towards his previous blindness and the eyes he were using to see now rushed back into his head in a few seconds.

Why was he so shallow minded? He hated himself for that too.

Others are desperate to find a cornea donor and here he is hating the fact that he was using another's cornea to see.

Who cares, he thought, when the world already hates me? Who cares if I can see now? They still despise me. Me being able to see or not, would it make a difference to the world?

Having a cornea transplant so I can better protect myself in Seoul. Bull. Just say it if you're looking down on me.

Joe's thoughts came to a halt the moment he found himself thinking about his last thought. That was directed to his mother. He hated himself yet again, for harboring such negative thoughts towards his mother who cares so much about him. He loved his mother, the only person that did not abandon him. She could have left for somewhere else and put him in the orphanage when he started becoming a burden to her, but she did not. How could he even harbour the thought that she was looking down on him when all she really did was care and love her own son?

You're just a worthless piece of junk that does not even know how to appreciate the things given to you. A voice echoed in his head.

He hated himself. Hated his guts. Hated life. Hated the people around him. Hated the donor. Hated his eyes. If he died, would people even care? Why is this cruel world so unfair? Why must it be so judgmental? Why... Why must he be like this? Why can't he be more open minded and break that wall which is isolating him from the rest of the world?

Everything was  blurry and somewhat hazy as Joe started to stare at random things around the office. The doctor started to talk about the precautions and the side effects Joe may experience. 

Joe was starting to feel irritated by the doctor's talking. He was not one to sit still and listen patiently. Yes, it sure concerned him, but he continued to look around at things in the office, amused at bring able to see again, yet at the same time having millions of negative thoughts running through his head...

"Remember to drip your eye drops and wear the metal shield to sleep!" The doctor repeated for the third time.

Joe nodded his head in response and bowed a little to thank the doctor before stumbling out of the office with his blurry vision.

He walked out to find a woman stand up from the bench outside and walk towards him. Was she his mum? She had long, wavy curls, dyed a shade of chocolate brown. Dressed in dark colours and wearing minimum accessories, the lady with thin, pursed, duck lips walked over to Joe. Before Joe could respond, she took him by his hand. "Let's go home now." She smiled as she looked at her son, "You need lots of rest."

Joe stared at her as she held onto his hand and walked on. This woman holding onto his hand is his mother. He had planned to hug his mother and tell him how thankful he is for her to be in his life when he first saw her. However, he could not muster that courage and ended up walking beside her awkwardly, thankful for her hand as guidance as his vision was still blurry.

Now that he has seen his mum, the next things he wanted and needed to see was his recording room, the piano, and...

And himself...



 

A/N: How was this chapter? ^^ 14 subbies already! ~ 사랑해요 ♡♡♡ I'll do my best to update even more! :) Thank you for supporting this story ~ 고마워요... ♥