“Give me one reason to go on this trip,”

“I'm just tired of having you miss out on so many opportunities in life, Sweetie,” Mom sighs, folding her favorite purple t-shirt. “Your dad and I both agree that you should be able to participate in these kinds of things, even if it's a little hard to afford.” Her tone is saturated with sympathy, but her glance is filled with pity. God I hate her remorse.

“Alright, so give me one good reason to go on this trip,” I repeat, adamant with my statement. I pick up my pair of gym shorts and stare at the school mascot on the left leg.

“Oh, come on, Mona, how long have you wanted to go on this twenty day study of Europe?” Mom pleads, picking up a pair of Dad's underwear. Eww, they're friggin huge. Not to mention gross to look at. “It used to be a dream of yours to travel the world.”

“Yeah, and it used to be a dream of yours to become an artist, and here you are, folding your husband's underwear,” I retort, stacking my folded clothes.

“He's trying, Mona,”

“I know, I know. But how far is trying gonna get me, Mom? Be realistic for me, please? I've been trying for sixteen years to make something out of myself, besides just my schoolwork, and I've gotten nothing to show for it. This trip won't do anything for me. Besides, who wants to take a tour of the Eiffel Tower, anyway?”

Mom grunts at my attitude. Great, here comes her wrath...all four feet and ten inches of it. “There are a ton of people who would give anything for the opportunities you're given, Mona. You can do so much with your life, you just have to be patient. You just have to wait for the time to be right, and God will pull you through.”

There she goes, throwing around her sudden bout of faith like its her duty. I sigh, taking my stack with me to the door. “Yeah, well, how much longer is He planning on waiting, because I don't think I'm gonna wait for it anymore. I've already given anything, obviously it's not in His plans to give me anything in return. Don't even worry about that trip, it's just a dumb childhood dream.” I begin my trek up the steps, hoping to beat my mom's response to my room.

My attempt is futile, because just before I can close my bedroom door, I hear her shout, “Suit yourself!”

_____ ______ _______

Now that Dad's home, all I hear is shouting. Don't get me wrong-my parents love each other. But it's more of a love-hate relationship...they love to hate each other, hate to love each other, so on and so forth. It's pretty stressful on an honors student when his or her parents fight. Not necessarily life-threatening, but it does put a damper on your day when you have to deal with both in and out of school drama that's not your own.

I turn the volume on my iPod up to about 40%. That's really high for me, considering I enjoy my ability to hear. It only seems to dull the noise, I can make out every few words spat at each other.

“...Dog...goes...allergic...” “My...no...refuse...”

They're arguing about getting rid of the dog. Mom hates her, Dad loves her, you know how it goes. Only the dog's boarding in this house depends on whether or not my brother tests positive for allergies of dogs. Figures, the little brat makes a problem out of everything else, why would he miss the opportunity to mess up everything at home?

I change songs. Kpop. Good, I like Kpop...like? No, there's not a word in the English, Romanian, Latin...Rwandan dictionary strong enough to describe my love of the Korean Pop culture. I adore it with every fragment of my being.

Rain's “Love Song”. Ah, good song choice. One of the first idols I've ever heard, and I find him quite the pretty boy. Surprising to hear from a top ranked student, right? The piano begins the song, but suddenly, I don't feel quite right. The saddened piano tune resonates in my ears, travels to my brain, and back again, and it takes me a moment to register that the cold sensation trickling from my eyes are my tears.

iPod still in hand, I make a mad dash for the bathroom, which is right next to my room. I guess the run was a little unnecessary, considering I don't want to attract any attention.

I gaze into my mirror, gasping for air as quietly as I can manage. My cheeks are incredibly puffy, my nose is running, my eyes devoid of emotion, which is ironic considering the circumstances. The deep brown seems to compliment the reflective saline that is coming from them. I bring my face in closer, squinting my eyes a little more.

By now, time has passed ever so slowly, the song long ended and transitioned into some crappy American pop song I keep on my iPod for appearance purposes only. I can't hear the music clearly, but I shudder and make a strange gasping noise.

I'm selfish.

Whoa, major crisis situation. I try to center my focus and think deeply.

I'm immature.

I'm self-centered.

Slowly, I begin to open the floodgates to my brain, and, if not slower, I allow the thoughts that have plagued me for years resurface.

How long have you wanted this? You think that you have to give up all hope because you're too selfish to see what you're given. Your family life isn't perfect, your school life isn't perfect, so what? It's made you put up a wall, and you've become too stubborn to just say yes! How much longer can you hide within the very alleys of your soul? Surely you can't handle it much longer!

I storm out of the bathroom, yanking the head phones from my ears. I walk right into the living room, my face hardened with reality, my hands tightly at my sides, my shoulders back with confidence I've never had.

Mom and Dad are somewhat snuggled on the couch. How cute, the happy couple made up.

“Mona, what's wrong?”

“You're right, I'm given so many opportunities, and I have so many aspirations, and I'm tired of waiting. I can't keep my desires bottled up anymore, so I'm gonna stop the stubborn woe-is-me charade and just say it, because I need to do this. I want to go on this trip.”

_________________________________________________________________________

Author's note!!

Whoa, first fanfic EVER!! XD Woot-woot!!

Not used to writing as such a y character aha. So please forgive me! >_<

Also, I just realized that there's practically nothing related to kpop or any Asian culture in this...I sowwie T-T I promise, it'll get better next chapter ;)

Thanks for reading~ ♥