Night on December
The Sight of Destiny
"I will be there when you can see the world
for the first time again after a few years"
- CHAPTER 16
***
Everyone knows that liking someone is not that easy. It is easy to fall for them, but it’s not that easy when we do it. When we like someone we start to take more attention than usual, we tried to look more appealing than usual, and last but not least the heart beats faster than usual too.
Ever since the last incident when Eunhyuk got lost on the road, Donghae started to keep his eyes on Enhyuk more. He tries hard not to leave Eunhyuk alone anymore. He cares, and somehow it makes Eunhyuk happy deep inside.
It has been a couple of months the friendship between Eunhyuk and Donghae lasts. But what’s between them is clearly more than just a mere friendship. Eventhough none of them know about each others’ feeling.
“What will you do on Christmas eve?” Donghae asks when they hang around under the tree that evening. He chews his chocolate waffer happily while looking at Eunhyuk and smiles secretly.
Eunhyuk frowns in confuse look to digesting Donghae’s words before he realize that it’s already the middle of December. Since it’s a holiday, Eunhyuk had never paid so much attention on date or month. No wonder the weather feels colder and colder day by day now.
“Just at home, probably dinner with my brother. Nothing will be special.” Eunhyuk hugs his feet which are raised up to his chest.
Donghae frowns, “Awww, no fun. Come on, we have to do something fun! It’s our first Christmas since we had been friend.” He squeals like a little kid and Eunhyuk just sighs at his childishness.
“Is that needed?” Eunhyuk rolls his eyes.
“Of course it is!!” Donghae screams and it makes Eunhyuk jolt in surprise at his seat. Donghae just laughs loudly that he successfully surprises Eunhyuk. “Seriously let’s do something.”
“Like what?” He asks Donghae uninterested.
Donghae just humming quietly before his eyebrows raised up, “Let’s play secret santa, how is it?” His eyes are totally sparkling. “You’ve heard about that, right?”
Eunhyuk suddenly scoffs and chuckles to hear that, but Donghae just looks at him confusedly.
“What’s the point of playing secret santa when it’s just two of us who are playing? We will immediately know who our santa is!” Eunhyuk says and turns his head at Donghae who sit beside him.
Donghae closes his eyes and grimace a little bit, “Ah…right.”
Eunhyuk just laughs at his cuteness.
“Well, I don’t care. Let’s still play secret santa, okay?” Donghae still insist to play it since it’s the perfect time to give Eunhyuk a gift. He just wants to do it so bad, he giggles in his mind.
Eunhyuk smiles in his mind and starts feeling a tingling again just thinking about the perfect gift he should give to Donghae. “Fine, silly” He agreed with poker face.
Donghae bit his lower lip to prevent himself from giggling too loud and be very happy about this idea. He can’t wait for Christmas. “ Okay, we’ll meet here on December 25th and give each other’s gift without us knowing.”
“How?” Eunhyuk furrows his eyebrows.
Donghae shrugs, “Anyhow, I know you can find a way.”
“You’re stupid, anyway. I will find a way” Eunhyuk answers with a mocking tone and it earns a slap on the back of his neck slightly, making them both laughs.
“It will be fun.” Donghae smiles brightly in enthusiastic while leaning his back on the tree again.
Eunhyuk just smiles and nods, “I hope so..”
***
Eunhyuk wakes up this morning with a loud alarm ringing from his phone. Then the first thing that crosses his mind is what date it is. Whether it is already 25th December or not yet. Of course it’s not yet. He doesn’t even talk with his brother about his plan with Donghae yet though. He doesn’t know whether his brother wants to do something with him or not this Christmas. He should find out.
Eunhyuk opens his bedroom door and hear sounds from the living room. He already knows who it is so he just continues walking towards the couch on living room. His thought proven right when he hears someone’s voice calling him.
“Ah, finally this sleepyhead wakes up.” Sungmin says while looking at his brother. Eunhyuk just chuckles at him and rubbing his sleepy eyes. It’s really great to have Sungmin greet him everytime he wakes up in the morning. He likes the feeling Sungmin is here and he is not alone.
“Cereal?” Sungmin stretch his bowl out on Eunhyuk when he finally made it to sit beside Sungmin on a couch. Eunhyuk takes his bowl without thinking and starts eating it while Sungmin just looking at him with a smile on his face. Before he gets up off his seat and walks towards the kitchen to get another bowl of cereal for him.
“Hyung, what will you do on Christmas Eve?” Eunhyuk blurts out while he shoves his spoon of cereal inside his mouth. Sungmin who already preparing his own cereal in the kitchen, slowly turns his head to Eunhyuk and thinking.
“Actually.. I have a plan.” He says while pouring a milk into his bowl carefully. “Can we invite Kyuhyun on Christmas Eve? Just to have special dinner” He finishes with a careful tone. At first, he was hesitating to bring his boyfriend into a special event but he really want to meet Kyuhyun after they didn’t meet so much due to Sungmin’s business trip.
Eunhyuk stops his movement for a while.
Perfect.
“Oh, it’s okay. You can go, Hyung.” Eunhyuk says casually.
Sungmin frowns and walks approach him before he sits on the couch as well, “What? I said we can celebrate it together with Kyuhyun also. You don’t want Kyuhyun to come?” Sungmin can’t hide his happy feeling if Eunhyuk really want to let him go with Kyuhyun this Christmas. Even though on the other side, he still feeling bad for him.
Eunhyuk chuckles, “It’s a special night, I know.” He turns his head to Sungmin and looks at him with the usual un-blinked empty eyes. “I know you missed him so much already. Go with him, I have another plan too.”
Sungmin’s eyes widen like a bouncy bunny on the green park and almost yell in excitement, “Really?? With who?” He has no idea why he really liked the thought of Eunhyuk starts hanging around people again after his accident.
“With my friend. Just an old friend.” Eunhyuk answers with a smile plastered on his face. Sungmin stares at him with a smile as well, he is so happy about this. He doesn’t even think who’s this old friend—maybe just his highschool friend, he thought—but he just really happy that Eunhyuk wants to start open up with people.
***
“Merry Christmas, Eunhyuk!” Donghae yell out from his motorcycle when he approaches the place where Eunhyuk sits.
It’s finally 25th of December. Last night on Christmas Eve, Eunhyuk and Sungmin built up their Christmas tree together with a help from the maids. They also skyped with their parents in US to send a Christmas greetings to each other and make sure everyone is alright. Eunhyuk always loves Christmas and he never be unhappy when Christmas comes. Furthermore this year’s Christmas, when he already heard someone chanting his name on the late evening.
He smiles, he almost tired of waiting and almost gave up like the other night before. But this time, he finally came, “Merry Christmas, Donghae.” Eunhyuk says simply. He hears the sound of engine turned off and Donghae quickly walked fast to sit beside Eunhyuk.
“Where is my gift?” He asks sternly.
Eunhyuk smiles faded away slowly but sure, replaced by a frown, “I’m so sorry..” He says and looks at Donghae with his empty un-blinked eyes. When he opens his mouth again, Donghae can’t be more surprise. “I haven’t bought anything. I didn’t know how I supposed to buy it because I couldn’t pick the nice one for you since I couldn’t see..” He says it quickly and hang his head low.
Donghae’s heart fell in a second. He stares at Eunhyuk’s face intensely and he can’t hide his sad feeling to hear that. But no one can be blame. Eunhyuk can’t choose his condition after all.
So he tries to smile the sad feeling away, “It’s alright. Don’t be sorry.”
“Are you disappointed?” Eunhyuk asks carefully trying not to hurt his heart. But he knows he already did.
“A little bit. But it’s okay” Donghae smiles and adjust his position. They keep silent for a while before finally Donghae break the cold ice, “Wanna go somewhere?”
“Didn’t I hear a sound of motorcycle when you got here?” Eunhyuk says and Donghae already expecting this to happen.
“It’s Christmas, okay. There is no single thing to worry about. We will ride and enjoy this Christmas Night together.”
Eunhyuk feels the tingling sensation in every Donghae’s soft words. He just stiffened about how could a childish Donghae always say a sweet things like that and makes his head spinning around for a second. He can’t say anything when Donghae asks again one more time; he just agreed.
***
The road is crowded. It’s filled with a laughter and people chatting. But it’s magically okay with Eunhyuk. He is no longer bothered by a crowd even though it’s just a second time he got into crowd after the accident. Maybe it’s because who’s the one beside him all this time; so he is okay.
Donghae parked his ride on parking lot and they got off of it carefully to walk around the bridge. Today looks very crowded by a people and a stands of foods on this big bridge. There are so many lights here and there, don’t forget about the big Christmas over there too. They are so ready to explore!
“It’s really beautiful!” Donghae yells in excitement after they finishes walking around over here and there and eating so many foods. The night comes now and the lights more visible in the dark like this. That’s why he amazed, Eunhyuk who already got used with it just laughs at his behavior.
“Really?” Eunhyuk can’t hide of jealousy tone in his words. He wants to see it too.
“There is a Christmas tree over there, with colorful light, well gold mostly. And there is a Santa holding their pack which is I don’t know if their packs filled with gift or it’s just an empty pack.” Donghae starts to describe everything just like usual, letting himself to be Eunhyuk’s eyes.
Eunhyuk laughs and leaning on his back on the wall bridge. Tired of walking too much this evening yet he still feels so happy.
“There are so many children in here. I feel like want to kidnap one, they are so cute!” Donghae keeps yelling like a little kid who sees a bunch of candy everywhere.
“You like kids?” Eunhyuk laughs and crosses his hands over the chest.
Finally Donghae stops yelling and looks at Eunhyuk instead. The feelings is too happy, he can’t stop smiling like an idiot. “Yes. But right now, kids are not the first thing I like” He stares at Eunhyuk beside him and smiling so bright.
“Chocolate waffer, I know.”
Donghae laughs at Eunhyuk’s confidence. Wrong wrong wrong~
Eunhyuk sighs and raises his head up without turning his face to Donghae at all, “I know I never see your figure but I can imagine you’re a short fat boy with a chubby cheek and big .”
Donghae’s eyes widen so big, “What?!” He feels humiliated but he doesn’t know he just laughs at Eunhyuk words so hard until he almost crushes his tummy up. It makes Eunhyuk chuckles inaudibly just to know Donghae is laughing even though he just clearly mocks him.
“You make it sounds so bad. At least I know I’m not ugly.” Donghae slaps his shoulder before Eunhyuk winced in pain and slaps him back with a scoffs.
But nothing can’t be more surprising. Donghae suddenly brought Eunhyuk hand up to his face. They both quickly get shivered at the sudden skin touch.
“What are you doing?” Eunhyuk asks trying hard not to sound shaky or his pride will hurt.
They know they’re having a lot of skinship since the very beginning because Donghae would always hold his hand to guide everywhere they wanted to go, but this time everything feels different.
It’s because they have a feeling towards each other now.
“Help you to picture my figure on your head.” Donghae says casually with a smile.
Donghae guide Eunhyuk’s hand gently to roams around his face. He brought Eunhyuk’s hand to touches his hair on his forehead, he moves down to the thick eyebrows and opened eyes, and then he almost giggles when Eunhyuk’s thumb brushing the tip of his nose, and finally at the lips before they stop and hold on the cheek.
Eunhyuk doesn’t flinch and doesn’t move even just a bit. He likes the mixed feeling on his chest when Donghae guide him. Without he knows that Donghae stares at him in the eyes so intensely, he starts to thinking; no, Donghae’s cheek is not chubby, it’s soft with a flaws on his jaw. His hair is soft above his forehead. His eyes are not so big but it’s bigger than his own. His eyebrows are not that really thick. He has a pointed nose. He has a nice fair skin. And his lips are small and cute; probably something sweet that can make you addicted after it touches you.
Eunhyuk’s eyes widened at the last thought, his cheeks are burning hot.
Dammit, why am I thinking?
“Okay, I see” He quickly pulls his hand down, leaving Donghae’s touch that somehow makes him disappointed.
Donghae chuckles, “Why are you blushing?”
“I’m not.”
“You can’t see it. But I can.” Donghae smiles wide while his heart pacing fast like crazy inside his chest. He likes it when he knows Eunhyuk is nervous because he just chooses to keep silence. He just can’t stop looking at his adorable face.
“Stop staring at me, Donghae.” Eunhyuk says trying not to care, but he clearly just failed.
Eunhyuk’s voice wakes him up, “How do you know that?” He chuckles like a silly.
Eunhyuk taken aback by Donghae’s answer, because it clearly shows that he was right; Donghae is staring at him. Deep inside, he feels happy. But his heart can’t cooperate well, it almost burst out.
“I know I’m blind but I’m not stupid. I can’t see it but I can feel it.” Eunhyuk says.
But Donghae is Donghae. He doesn’t really listen to people. It just makes him staring at Eunhyuk even more. Looking at how Eunhyuk put his black beanie on his head, with a bang stick out of it and landed on his forehead. He puts his thick leather jacket on that wrapped outside his plain dark blue shirt and it makes him more good-looking than ever.
“You look so good tonight, or are you always like this all the time?” He giggles finally looking away, doesn't really know what the hell he way saying.
“What?” Eunhyuk quickly turns his head to Donghae. Fortunately, he really doesn’t hear what Donghae said and it irritating him when Donghae just shrughs and laughs.
“Nevermind”
Then suddenly the fireworks show has started. The boom sounds heard all over their place and it surprises them everytime the fireworks lit up and sparks on the dark skies. So perfect moment of Christmas.
“Whooa! It’s really beautiful!” Donghae repeat his words the moment they just got here earlier. This is really beautiful. Everyone is cheering ‘Merry Christmas’ around them. Some family clapped their hands and yelling. Some couples kissing under the sparks. But only one guy just crosses his hands over his chest while looking up at the sky enjoying—only—the sound of the fireworks.
“I wish it’s all visible on my eyes.” Eunhyuk smiles and his voice is so slow between the noise, but Donghae still manage to hear it. “I want to see those colors of fireworks. I want to see all people around me cheering..”
Donghae turns his eyes from the sky to Eunhyuk beside him and observes him in every word he says.
“..I want to see you.” He finishes at last.
That’s the time when everything is quite.
No boom sounds from the fireworks show. No people cheering and clapping their hands. Nobody visible around them anymore. Donghae just busy with his spinned stomach and heartbeat fast to hear those words came out of Eunhyuk’s mouth. He looks at Eunhyuk so intensely without expression.
I want you to see me too though..
Eunhyuk still smiles while looking up at the sky eventhough he knows he clearly can’t see anything but dark. Donghae observing the way he crosses his hands over his chest that makes the pocket on his leather jacket opened wide.
A perfect time.
He slips something in it carefully not to make any sudden move, after he succeed, he smiles proudly and looks at Eunhyuk and his filled pocket with smile.
“Eunhyuk, merry Christmas.”
***
It’s true when we like someone heart is beating faster than anything and it feels like exploded in sparks more than a fireworks show. Donghae smiles at himself after he arrives at home. Yeah, he finally arrive at home first after Eunhyuk insist that Donghae doesn’t need to walk him home. Eventhough he clearly wants to walk Eunhyuk home and maybe get to see Eunhyuk’s expression when he knows that Donghae put something inside his jacket pocket. How come he didn’t realize that his pocket is no longer empty? Couldn’t he tell at all?
“Donghae, there is something for you” Donghae’s mom voice wakes him up from the thought and her head peeking out from the window before she get in finally.
Donghae sit on his bed and looking at the package on his mom hand, “What?”
“I don’t know, but it’s hanging on the gate just now and when I picked it up, it showed your name on it.” She says and simply put it on the table before she told Donghae to sleep right away because it’s already time to sleep. She bid a goodbye with a Christmas greeting one more time before she finally get out.
Donghae stares at the brown package for a while before smile crept out on his face. He snatch it quickly and open it in enthusiastic.
Then here it is; the chocolate long beautiful scarf which thick and looks so warm. He observes the new scarf with sparkling eyes as if a little kid who just got a new brand new clothes from his parents, maybe even better. One name crosses his mind right away.
Eunhyuk.
Donghae quickly wraps his neck with the warm silky scarf and knows immediately that he will sleep on it tonight. After then he looks inside the package once again, there is a radio tape in it. He frowns but immediately play the tape on his radio player.
Couple seconds passed, he doesn’t hear anything. But suddenly his heart flinch to hear a badly familiar voice.
“Hey.”
Donghae’s smile gets even wider.
“I know the gift is nothing. I didn’t lie when I said I couldn’t buy anything for you because I couldn’t pick one since I couldn’t see. But I still wanna give you something.”
“Liar. This is why he insisted not let me walk him home” Donghae mutters secretly.
“People will usually wrote a note but I wouldn’t want to because my handwriting will be a mess since I can’t see. So hear my voice, I hope you don’t cringe to hear my voice.”
He slowly giggles to hear his words, especially his voice. Not cringe at all.
“This scarf is my favorite, it’s a birthday gift from my bestfriend on middle school. I like it so much and it’s so precious to me. It’s chocolate, and everytime I think about it, it reminds me of you because you like chocolates a lot. If you lose it, I will definitely kill you because it is so precious to me, I said. So keep it. It makes you warm, it makes you safe.” Eunhyuk explains everything slowly as if he never wanted to end the voice note. Donghae immediately find out that scarf on his neck is really precious for him. It feels very good to know that he got something that really precious from Eunhyuk.
“I hope you like it. Merry Christmas, Donghae. By; your secret santa.” He finally ends his voice note.
Donghae smiles, he looks at a scarf that landed his hand. “Of course I like it. Thank you so much, it’s the best gift. It’s beautiful”
***
Eunhyuk arrive at his home and knowing that his brother hasn’t even home yet. He doesn’t wondering. He always be home late everytime he hang around with his boyfriend. But that doesn’t mean they do anything bad, it’s just even couple hours never enough to spending time with the people we care so much. So Eunhyuk never complains.
He reaches his bedroom and slowly closes the door. Sitting on his bed while slipping his hand inside his leather jacket’s pocket to take something out of it, he chuckles.
Stupid Donghae. He thought I didn’t know at all that he put something in it.
Eunhyuk did find out there is something on his pocket but long after Donghae put it in when the fireworks showed. He did even surprised and wondering when was Donghae put a gift inside his pocket when he finds it on motorclye on their way home. His heart was beating fast in joy, he actually just wanted to open it right away but he hide it because he didn’t want to open it in front of Donghae.
That’s turned out to be a good idea.
Now here he is, ripping off the wrapper carefully not to break the things in it. He wonders what this is since it seems not very big for a gift. It’s almost feels like a small square box. After he succeed to open it all perfectly, he realizes that there is a cable plugged on it.
“Headset?” Eunhyuk mutters, totally puzzled.
He the thing once again to find out what it is, and when he can feel the buttons on it, he finally has an little idea.
Eunhyuk quickly put the headset on and try to find out how this thing works. His disability doesn’t bother him at all to find a button on the very center. He quickly presses a button on the center. Then, right. The voice comes up.
“Eunhyuk!!”
It surprises him to death because it’s very loud. But he finds himself laughing at his own sillyness that just surprised by Donghae’s annoying voice calling his name. It keeps playing.
He hears Donghae laughing, “Good job! You manage to play this recorder, I know you can.” Eunhyuk smiles proudly and hold the recorder properly. He is happy how Donghae always treats him like a normal guy, not someone who suffering with disability.
“I know, every voice is precious to you for now. You see everything through voice. This recoder is mine since I was child. The button on the left to record, the center to play, and the right button to play next and choose what voice note you want to hear. Keep it to company you, okay? I don't need to talk much now, because I wrote you a letter as well.”
Eunhyuk frowns at the thought how come this Donghae wrote him a letter? Does he forget that I’m blind?
But Donghae quickly answer his mind, “I know you can see very soon. You just don’t need to give up. I will be there when you can see the world for the first time again after a few years. From your secret santa; Donghae.”
He ends his voice note way too quickly with his sweet voice. Eunhyuk even wants more. Listening to his voice like this and feels like he said those words while smiling just makes his heart warm. But once again he ends his voice note way too quickly.
Eunhyuk put his headset off and look for the thing Donghae said to him earlier. He grabs the package and finds in fact there is something stick on it. Lucky it's not ripped off with the wrapper. He feels a piece of paper folded very properly until it gets so small even though when Eunhyuk open the fold, it’s not small paper. It’s like a paper from notebook.
Eunhyuk hold it very tight but carefully not to crumpled that up.
“I will be able to read it soon, right?” He mutters, doesn’t know who he is talking to. Maybe to God, or Donghae, or maybe to himself.
He just can’t wait until the time he able to see again so he can read Donghae’s letter. For the first time after a few years since the accident, he gets so much hope for able to see again. He won’t give up, ever again. Even if he should wait for more time, he will wait.
“Thanks, Donghae. Merry Christmas.”
And it counts as one of the best Christmas they ever had.
***
thanks for reading and comment
[TSD-01/02] 2nd January!! Happy Anniversary to this story lol although I don't update this often. Sorry! I'll comeback soon!
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