Feelings
The Sight of Destiny
"I just don't want him to leave"
- CHAPTER 15
***
That night is truly one of the most horrible night ever. Donghae doesn't care anymore whether the rain would soaking him or everything else, he is just tend to find Eunhyuk. He remembers what Eunhyuk said on the phone and follows the route of the bus he was talking about earlier. Donghae quickly reaches the place 10 minutes later and he quickly get off of his motorcycle when he sees the board of Karaoke Pub.
He is still panick like crazy person, not care how his body soaked by rain. He is looking for the nearest phone box. He searches over so many phone box at that place and it almost makes him frustrated when Eunhyuk is nowhere to be found.
Damn it, where are you?!
He keeps searching and searching until he arrives at one phone box at the end of the road. He opens the box and find a figure curled like a ball hugging his feet while crounching.
"There you are" Donghae said unconcsiously and Eunhyuk slowly lift his head up, revealing his wet face even though he still put his hat low.
Donghae kneeled down before him and touch his shoulder, damn he is shaking. "Don't worry now, I'm here" Donghae says with guilt on his eyes.
Eunhyuk feels the urge to cry when he hears a very familiar voice of Donghae while he carefully his shoulder up and down to warm him.
"." Donghae curses unconsciously between his steep breaths and it surprises Eunhyuk. Donghae never curses. "Don't make me like this... ever again." Donghae Eunhyuk even more to give him warmth even though it's clearly he needs warmth too since he got soaked as well. He's just lost his mind right after he saw Eunhyuk in this condition.
The feelings are overwhelming. Eunhyuk is sure that he can hear worried on Donghae's words but he can't help to think that he is burdened Donghae, that's why he said that. Furthermore, Eunhyuk never heard Donghae curses, he must be so annoyed. He is nearly crying but he try hard not to.
Eunhyuk manage to say between his shaky voice, "I'm so--"
Donghae cut him off and helps him to get up, "Let's go home. You will catch a cold"
***
Donghae is staring at Eunhyuk who just get out of his bathroom inside his room while sitting on the edge of the bed. His hair is still wet, he already wearing a pajamas but Donghae feels like still want to told him to put some jacket on to make him warm.
"You should change your clothes too. You can borrow mine." Eunhyuk walks towards him carefully and sits beside Donghae. Donghae just keeps staring at him for a while letting his heart feels relief to be able to find him tonight.
After Donghae agrees to borrow Eunhyuk clothes and change his soaked clothes, Donghae gets out of the bathroom with towel hanging on his shoulder. His eyes immediately caught Eunhyuk sitting on the bed while staring nothing in front of him.
How long he has been like that; just sitting and totally spaced out?
"What happened?" Donghae sits beside him and asks him concernly. Eunhyuk is not moving but he hears all of Donghae's words without answering. "Why were you act like this?"
Eunhyuk totally thinks that Donghae might thinks that he is so stupid tonight. Trying to be so confident walking around at night ignoring the fact that he is a blind person. Yeah, that was really stupid on Eunhyuk's mind.
But still actually Donghae doesn't need to ask that because we all know what's the reason.
"I was lonely, because you weren't there." Eunhyuk says weakly, but trying not to sounds weak. Donghae turns his head to look at him in worried. "I waited. But I don't think you worth to waited anymore after you say that you're busy."
Donghae lowers his eyebrows deep down and his eyes goes blank. It's all because of him, he knows it. Right when he is about to opens his mouth, Eunhyuk speaks again.
"And you were not coming because a girl.. " he murmurs the last sentence, but Donghae's ears are too sharp so he is able to hear it.
Donghae frowns hard, "It's my friend"
Eunhyuk chuckles, feeling that Donghae doesn't need to explain it because after all he's just nothing for Donghae. So it's okay although she is not just friend.
"I'm not sure" Eunhyuk chuckles darkly.
"What do you mean?" Donghae's voice sounds annoyed more than he has to. He's just enough with Eunhyuk's bitter chuckles tonight; it made him worry to death. He hates it.
"It's okay if you want to have a special friend, you know what I mean" Eunhyuk sighs and straightened his position.
Donghae frowns more hard to hear Eunhyuk's silly words, "What the hell are you talking about? It's my friend, I'm working on a paper work for my presentation. I'm sorry I forgot our appointment. I really am stupid, and I'm sorry" He says frustratedly.
Eunhyuk shrugs slowly and tilting his head, "It's alright, Donghae. It's okay. Just forget it"
"No it's not. Look, I'm really sorry I forgot our appointment tonight and I'm sorry to had to find you lost at the road soaked by rain. I apologize." Donghae starts to feel his heart beating in unpleasant way again just like the previous times when he called Eunhyuk and asked Donghae to come and help him.
Nobody knows how ing worried Donghae was. His head almost ripped at two, his heart almost burst out of its place, his knees got weak, but Eunhyuk didn't know that.
And he seems like doesn't want to know it too now, "Go sleep.. I'm tired."
Donghae's POV
That's the first time I worry this much. My heart was beating so damn fast. For a moment I really want to pull off my hair out because I was so frustrated. But now seeing him like this, my heart calmed down. It's such a relief I can company him otherwise he will be very lonely. He asked me earlier whether I could stay with him tonight, and of course I didn't refuse it. Damn, I've been worried to death like crazy so when he asked me to stay here I couldn't say no.
I lay aside with my cheek pressed against the pillow at the small couch on the corner of his room with blanket that Eunhyuk gave me. I'm staring at Eunhyuk's body laying on the bed not so far with the couch. His back facing me. It's been almost an hour goes like this, maybe he is asleep already.
I close my eyes slowly and trying hard to sleep. But damn, I just can't. But when I try to keep my eyes shut, something surprises me.
"Donghae," Eunhyuk's voice heard at my ears. Slow enough to make my heart uneasy again. It sounds like it has so much pain in it.
I quickly open my eyes but still don't move or answering. How surprise I am to find Eunhyuk already sitting up on his bed with his head turned towards me.
"Are you sleeping already?" He whispers but loud enough to hear.
I pretend to be asleep, with my eyes both opened of course. Because he will not knows anyway. He stays quite for a while and I thought he just will back to sleep again but I'm wrong when I suddenly see his eyes get teary. Once again, the bed and the couch is not far so I can clearly see it. And it makes me stunned.
"Donghae..." He whispers again with shaky voice. I don't move or answering because I'm too surprise.
"I was really scared.. I was really really scared back then. But... You.." His voice is really low but thank God I still can hear it. I want to hear every single words he said.
"Thank you for coming." He says weakly.
I doomed. I should have not forget our appointment and didn't come at the park to meet him. My heart pinched by guilt when I surprisely see tears falling down on his cheek.
..I make him crying.
He lowers his head deep low and wipe his tears quickly. He always trying to be strong while clearly he's not. He is full of sorrow and it makes me want to hug him right now.
"And I'm sorry for make a burden. I shouldn't acted that way, I keep burdening you" He says again trying to keep his voice steady eventhough it clearly sounds like he's just talking to himself since he thought I'm asleep.
I really want to open my mouth to say no, to say he's not burdened me because it's just me who worried like crazy when I know he lost alone. He shouldn't be sorry because it's just me who caused all this thing.
But once again I just keep stunned without saying anything because Eunhyuk is quicker.
"I really hope I could see your face.." He whispers.
Then it pierced my heart so bad for a thousand times tonight.
I know it's not the first time I see him crying. But this...is too painful. Furthermore, I am the one who makes him crying this time. By seeing his tears like this....
I just got weak...
I think I like him already.
***
Eunhyuk's POV
I can see.
Oh, no. But it's all still very blur.
I hope I can see what I really want to see at this moment. The only reason I'm not feeling lonely again. The only thing that I need to survive.
I can feel it, someone my head. But it's just a second.
Then I hear my name being called.
Once…
Twice..
Thrice..
I really want to see. At least something, or maybe someone.
But I still can't.
"......"
I open my eyes quickly. Oh, no difference. And it's just a dream. Strange dream which is I don't even know what that's mean. Then suddenly I remember Donghae who sleeps on the couch last night. I get up from my bed and steps forward to the couch located. I hesitate at first but decide to stretch my hands to check if he still there or not.
And he is not. He's gone.
The couch is empty just like my heart which strangely is as well. I sit on the couch and lean my head on it with both legs stretch forward. I sigh hard.
Two times. I went to sleep with him beside me but wake up without him and knows he's gone. It's ing two times and this time I feel strange feeling on my chest to thinking about it.
My heart says I want to see him everytime I wake up, or not see, at least I know that he is still there just like when I went to sleep. I just don't want him to leave.
I don't ing want him to leave.
Everything will not be the same anymore from now on. I know it. Just because of this incident, I know one thing for sure that I just discovered. I don't want to keep denying like an idiot.
I think I like him already.
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thanks for reading and comment
[TSD-01/02] 2nd January!! Happy Anniversary to this story lol although I don't update this often. Sorry! I'll comeback soon!
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