Boa's Entry #2

I head to the dining area. His family is waiting for me…or may I say waiting to look down on me. He’s the only one who smiles. He pulls out the chair and makes me sit. We start eating. I know everyone’s staring at me. They always give me glares. I can’t help but to tremble a bit. He holds my hand. I look at him. He smiles again and I become less tense.

‘Why does she need to join us? I can’t feel anything but disgust for her’ I stop. He slams his hands on the table. I withdraw the spoon and fork in my grasp. ‘Shut the hell up!’ He shouts at his sister. I stand up and rush to our room. Tears are falling. I didn’t see it coming. He’s wiping them.

I embrace him and I start crying. He’s the only one on my side. Others are against me…against us. He often tells me not to mind them but it always gets into me…especially when they talk terrible things about my family.

Constantly, whenever we meet, they smirk…the smirk that tells me to die, just like what happened to my parents. I cringe at the thought. I saw it with my own two eyes. It’s despicable. They are.

The hug didn’t stay long. I let go of him immediately. I still can’t forgive him. I want to move out…but I’m stuck here with him…with his family.

I love him but the hate is more. I tried to kill myself several times. I want to end this life…but lies another life within me. Conscience is my enemy. She is created with pure love. That occurred when I still didn’t know the truth.

‘Go away’ I push him. I want to be alone. I turn to be cold again. He lifts me up in a bridal style without uttering a word. I become surprised. He softly placed me down on our bed.

‘Get some rest. I’ll teach her a lesson’ He starts walking towards the door. I called his name…I see his eyes widen. Right. It’s the first time I said that after the death of my parents.

‘Don’t. They’ll just hate us more’ I explain. There’s no need for him because…probably…no…possibly, they will make me feel a whole lot more burden to them. I know he loves his family but because of me, he is torn. And because of me, his family’s strong bond is broken.

I turn my back at him. He didn’t say anything. He leaves me again. Alone in this room. I start crying once more.