Jaejoong's Final Entry
Hopeless Dream
Jaejoong's FInal Entry
Tears continuously flowing as I read once again your entries. I’m uncertain about how many times I apologize and I do not want to use my regret as an excuse.
For I know, that regret is just a mere meaningless emotion…
I want to move forward. To see a bright future. To see the light at the end of the alley. I can if I persist on it but why? Why can’t I walk towards it?
Why do they keep on stopping me? Is this really how my life goes on? Only experiencing happiness once in my life but at the end, I will wake up from that dream?
Our child. I tried my best to be by her side. Supporting her in every way possible…but I can’t keep up. Even her, she hated me for giving her the life she refused to have.
Is it my fault? Am I the only one to blame? Is this the result of being born in this cruel world? To be a son of a heartless father? To be a worthless husband for his wife? And to be a hopeless father for his child?
Is this what you called failure?
Having a knife beside me, I slowly hold it and aim it right in front of my heart.
I’m sorry. I can’t take it anymore. I’m helpless.
Boa.
My child.
I love you but
Goodbye.
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