Boa's Entry #5

He went out. He needs to work for me. That’s what his family said. If he won’t obey them, they will kill me. Stupid of him. Why did he believe them? For I know he wants that too…but why?

His father slams the door. I become shock. He drags me out by pulling my hair. It hurts a great deal. He is strong and I’m a weakling. He pushes me on the concrete floor at the basement.

Boa!

I’m petrified. My friend is there. Blood covering her skin. Her parents…they’re gone. I glare at him but he gives me that smirk. I become fragile. My heart breaks one more time.

Kill her…Kill her and you’ll be free. I don’t want to see your face anymore.

He instructs me. What the heck is he saying?! I snicker. He steps on my hand. I bear the pain.

‘Kill me instead. I’m already fed up with you!’ I hit the cold wall. I’m about to lose consciousness. Then I hear a gunshot. I smile contentedly. He ends my life. Darkness envelops me.

I hear a voice. But not the same as my mother. Someone is shouting. I open my eyes. It disappoints me. I’m in the hospital.

I recognize the voice. It’s him. Jaejoong. How did he know? He walks in the room and rushes towards me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. He keeps apologizing. He’s not doing it for real. It’s all a play for them. They think they can convince me. Ha! Who are they toying with? Such fools.

‘Your father killed my friend. And so were my parents’ I grit my teeth. I want to punch him. So bad. I really want him to die.

He tells me his lie again…their lies. That his innocent. That he doesn’t know that monster’s plan. Screw them.

I wish to believe. That he really loves me, the way I felt for him before. But I can’t…even if I force myself. I can’t forgive them. They shower me my miseries.

Go. I order him. He hesitates to leave. I shout at him. I start crying. I don’t know how many times I did that. It never stops.

Then I feel his warmth again. He wants me to be calm. It just like when I saw my parents helplessly killed. He wants this. For me to remember that day. I push him with all my might even though it doesn’t cause him to move back.

Why do I need to suffer? What did I do to be in this situation?

I know. Because I was born. It’s my fate.