Boa's Entry #1

A very dark alley which seems endless. That’s where I am. I keep running and running…but I can’t uncover my escape. My feet are hurting and my legs become numb…until I trip into something and get wounded. The smell of blood…it came to my senses but I can’t feel any of the pain.

I want to stand up…I can if I try…but I stay in that position, unable to move when suddenly I heard voices out of nowhere. I hear them laugh…mocking me. I cover my ears and tell them to stop but they continue to do it. I plead once more, but they are at it again.

Stop! Stop it now, please!

It become quiet again…the voices are gone and the silence makes me deaf. Then I hear a gunshot…a growl follows. It seems angry…It’s getting near me. I am scared. I don’t know what I should do. I force myself to move…away from the sound…then I feel my back hit the wall hard.

My eyes shot open. I’m in a room. The familiar feeling came to me again.

A nightmare. I dreamt of it, as always. Sweats slide on the side of my face but I feel cold inside.

The door opens. I know it is him. He’s the only one who can enter this room. Our room.

‘What happened?’ I heard him. I lower my face and hug my legs instead. I don’t want to see his face. It just reminds me of that time I felt my world was going to fall. I feel him occupy the space beside me. He caresses my hair next and I flinch when he did that. I become vulnerable.

‘Boa’ He calls my name. I close my eyes then feel his warmth. He’s hugging me. I didn’t do it back. I want him to leave but my voice is stolen.

It’s always like this, everyday…It starts after I woke up from the bad dream until I’m about to sleep at night. This is the result of what took place on that day.

He let go of me. I love you. He said but I keep my mouth shut…I hear him sigh. I disappoint him again. I bit my lip. I still didn’t move. The door closed. He’s gone.

I pick up the flower. He left it beside me. It’s like yesterday before that incident. We were a couple. I was cheerful back then.

I still end up with him. I want to be happy…I need to be happy. He was my first love. I know I love him…but is it a big mistake?

It’s his fault. He planned it all along. But what can I do? I’m in the trap and I can’t break out from it.