SHOP: Truffle Mocha

REVIEWER: —MILKBUBBLETEA 

Title - 4/5

First, words of another language are best avoided because most of us don’t understand it and continue focusing on the English or maybe that’s just me o.o. So, for the English, you just need to capitalize the y in years.

Description + Foreword - 8/10

I thought this was a great description as it pulled me in. I think it tells just the right amount of information needed.

Plot - 18/20

I thought your story was very intriguing from the beginning. When I watched the video you were inspired by, I found your story was very much alike. It’s like those assignments in my grade schools here my teacher would show me a picture and we have to write about it, but yours compared to my whole class’s and you’ve beaten us by a landside. I’ve actually been reading this when I should be reading the book I was assigned over break. That book put me to sleep, but your fic got me right to my feet. I don’t know if I’m especially attracted to these types of stories or if I just like procrastinating, but this story had a very nice everything.

Characterization - 18/20

I actually did click the link to the trailer you provided in the description and I think your story plot does match that greatly as well as the characters do. You even made the characters do the same actions and made it fit with the plot and threw in bits of their real personality in there (ex: reckless Taemin). Now, did they develop? I think so, and especially Key. In the beginning you sustained their regular personalities, but then they developed at a good pace.

Originality + Creativity - 19/20

When and where are you going to find a story like this? In your dreams because after you read this you’ll be able to picture this in you minds because of the perfect detail and such. I swear if anyone does find a story like this then I bet they plagiarized. I liked your sequence of events and some people here might not be instantly attracted to the mood of the story, but it’s their loss because it is fantastic.

Grammar + Spelling - 18/20

Even when I just read the first paragraph, I knew your wording would be spot and my prediction was correct. I will never take points off for using the British way of spelling things, so you’re okay on that note. Ultimately, the errors I see are little things like you don’t need a comma there or you forgot to do this instead of that, etc. I don’t think I really need to tell you what’s what, just reread and you’ll catch things yourself.

Flow - 5/5

Great flow. Full credit on this one. I have no idea to explain my feelings. I just feel all happy inside.

Reviewer Comments

Asdfghjkl; here’s your crummy review. Sorry it took so long. ;A; I enjoyed your story as I love your OCs and SHINee with all my heart. Your writing is so much better than the advice I could give, so excuse me if the review is rather short. Teach me your ways! o3o Just kidding — all you need to do is please remember to comment and credit! And check out the foreword because I’ll be updating it soon since you get to be featured! Bye! (=ﾟωﾟ)ﾉ

Score - 90%

♡ —milkbubbletea