Chapter 14

Ryeowook lets out a silent sigh as he walks out of the kitchen and to the living room. Sitting on the couch was Yesung. The table in front of him, covered in paperwork. Walking around the couch, Ryeowook sits down the tray he was holding in a cleared spot on the table. “Here you go. I’m sure you’re going to get hungry soon.” he says softly.

Moving, Ryeowook sits down on the other end of the couch. Sitting back, he looks around. They were currently at Yesung’s apartment. After not seeing the other of the two outside of school, Ryeowook finally decided to go over instead. But as always, Yesung was burying himself in school work.

Opening his mouth to say something, Ryeowook closes it back when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. Pulling out his phone, Ryeowook looks at the screen to see that he received a text message. Ryeowook lets out a sigh as he opens the message.

From: Pink Bunny

Hey are you doing anything right now?

Sent at 1:42pm

To: Pink Bunny

No, not really. Do you need help with something?

Sent at 1:43pm

From: Pink Bunny

Maybe, where are you?

Sent at 1:45pm

To: Pink Bunny

I’m at Yesung’s apartment.

Sent at 1:49pm

From: Pink Bunny

Oh, so you two have finally talked?

Sent at 1:51pm

To: Pink Bunny

……Ahhh… No we have not.

Sent at 1:55pm

From: Pink Bunny

What? You still haven’t confronted him?

Sent at 1:57pm

To: Pink Bunny

No, I haven’t. Sorry.

Sent at 1:59pm

From: Pink Bunny

Don’t say sorry to me. You should be saying sorry to yourself. You know it has to be done.

Just pushing it back is going to make everything worse.

Sent at 2:04pm

To: Pink Bunny

Yeah, I know. I’ll talk to him.

Sent at 2:07pm

From: Pink Bunny

Please do. I just don’t want this to be harder for you than it already is.

Sent at 2:09pm

To: Pink Bunny

I know. I should actually talk to him now about it while I have the chance.

Sent at 2:11pm

From: Pink Bunny

Just remember we’re here for you.

Sent at 2:12pm

To: Pink Bunny

I know, thank you. I’ll talk to you later if something happens.

Sent at 2:14pm

From: Pink Bunny

Okay, talk to you later.

Sent at 2:15pm

Texting bye back, Ryeowook sits his phone back in his pocket. Closing his eyes, Ryeowook lets out a sigh as he sits back onto the couch. He didn’t know if he really wanted to do this right now or if he even had the courage to at all. “Is there a certain reason why you keep sighing?” Opening his eyes, Ryeowook turns his head to look at Yesung. He was still looking down at the papers in front of him. “No, not really.” he says.

“If it’s boring for you here, it’s okay for you to go.” Yesung states. Ryeowook shakes his head. “I’m okay here.” he says. Yesung shrugs. “Well, this isn’t really spending time together since all I’m doing is work.” he says. Ryeowook rolls his eyes. “Yeah because any other time counts.” he says softly.

At this Yesung stops and looks at Ryeowook. “Excuse me?” he asks with a raised brow. Ryeowook takes in a small breathe. “Okay, here we go.” he whispers to himself before turns to Yesung. “I just pointed out to myself, that the other times didn’t count as spending time together.” he says. “But you know, how could they when you don’t talk to me.”

“I talk to you.” Yesung says. Ryeowook lets out a scoff. “Used to. Now you hardly talk.” he says. Yesung sighs. “Ryeowook I’m sorry that I’m busy but sometimes I can’t waste time talking about trivial things.” he says. Ryeowook raises a brow. “Oh, so now I waste your time and our relationship is something trivial?” he asks.

Yesung sits down the papers and pen that he had in his hand on the table. “Ryeowook, that is not what I said.” he replies. Ryeowook tilts his head. “But it’s what you meant right?” he asks. “I’m the one who’s talking to you. And the things that I’ve been trying to talk to you about are all about our relationship. Me making sure that you’re doing okay since it’s been made crystal clear that you won’t tell me anything if I don’t ask.” he says. “Actually, you won’t tell me even if I did ask you.”

“I’m just busy, okay. It’s not that I don’t want to talk, it’s just I don’t have the time. I have to concentrate.” Yesung says. Ryeowook lets out another scoff. “I’m sorry but weren’t you the one who told and promised me that no matter how busy you got, you would always make time for me?” he asks. “Am I not important enough anymore? Is that it?” he asks.

“Ryeowook, you know that not true.” Yesung says. Ryeowook sits up straight. “But you being too busy, that’s not true either. Is it?” he asks. Ryeowook lets out a breath. “You know what, let’s stop with this subject. Let’s hit into the real topic that needs to be discussed.” he says. “The real reason all this started was because of Hyungsik confessing to me.”

Yesung lets out a groan. “I am not discussing this again because it’s not needed.” he says. “We’ve talked about this. Case closed, there’s nothing more to say.” he adds standing up. Ryeowook blinks at the tone in his vioce before glaring at him. “I really don’t want to talk about it again either.” Yesung says moving to walk around the couch. Letting out a small growl, Ryeowook stands up quickly. “No! Kim Jongwoon, don’t you dare walk away from me!”

Yesung immediately freezes at Ryeowook’s use of his real name. He then turns to the younger with widen eyes. “I am finally done with this, okay?!” Ryeowook shouts. “Our relationship is going down the damn drain and whenever I try to even remotely touch on the situation, you dismiss me and I am done with it!”

“Please, Ryeowook, I don’t have time for this.” Yesung says. Ryeowook narrows his eyes at the man standing in front of him. “Well, I don’t give a damn.” he says. Moving to the table, he pushes it away from them and across the floor until it sat in front of the TV. “We are talking about this. And we are talking about this now! Why? Because I said so.” he says as he places his hands on his hips and turns back toward Yesung.

“We’re going to go all the way back to where my questions started. This all started with Hyungsik and his confession. Before he even confessed to me, you knew he liked me. Am I correct?” Ryeowook asks. Yesung nods. “After he confessed, I came straight to you after classes was over for the day and informed you what happened. You told me not to worry about it. Did you not?” Ryeowook asks and Yesung nods again.

“I listened to you and left it alone, but then slowly you started becoming distant. You kept busying yourself with work and when I finally decide to ask you about it, you brush me off. Saying that I’m over thinking things!” Ryeowook states. “But I wasn’t! Yes, I know you get busy but this has been unnecessary busy.”

“So tell me, what the problem is? It can’t just be Hyungsik.” Ryeowook says. “I mean, from the way you’ve been acting, it can’t just be one person. There’s just too much insecurity involved here for it to just be over one person.” he adds, staring down the man across from him. “So, who else is there?”

Getting no answer, Ryeowook tilts his head to the side. “Okay, so guessing it is.” he says. “Of course it has to be someone from within our group since I don’t really hang out with others. So let’s begin and start list people off, shall we?” he asks keeping a trained eye on Yesung’s face.

“Who to start with?” Ryeowook asks. “Let’s start with who’s with me throughout the day. Hyungsik is already on the list. So, Samona, Kyuhyun, Donghyun, Jessica…” Listing out all their friends, Ryeowook watches Yesung, noting any time that he shifted slightly or looked away from him.

Once done listing off everyone, Ryeowook stares at Yesung. “You’re kidding right?” he asks. He lets out a small bitter laugh as he paces in a circle. He then stops and looks at Yesung again. “Okay so, let’s list off this interesting list.” Ryeowook suggests. “Glad there’s not a lot here. Based off of your expressions, that I don’t think you realized you made, we have our three friends Kyuhyun, Sungmin, and Jessica.”

Silence fills the room at Ryeowook stares at Yesung. “Okay, I can kind of see why Kyuhyun is on the list, seeing how he’s one of my best friends and I spend a lot of time with him but seriously? Jessica?” Ryeowook asks. “What the hell is going on through your mind? Do you not remember what happened when we met each other?”

“It is easy to forgive someone over something they did.” Yesung says, finally speaking up. “You’ve been spending time with her. Feelings can change.” he says. Ryeowook scoffs. “You think just because I’ve decided to play nice, that I’ll develop feelings for her?” he asks “I only became friends with her in the beginning because I thought you wanted us to get along since she’s friends with all of the elders in the group. Also the only reason I’m hanging out with her so much is because even during school, you ignore me. She’s been doing her job as a friend to cheer me up.”

Ryeowook lets out a breath. “Okay now, what about Sungmin?” he asks. “As I said, I can understand Kyuhyun. But I hardly spend time with Sungmin because of our schedules. The longest times I spend with Sungmin are when we have our group gatherings. That or we text each other.” he states. “All we do it talk.” he adds. “Or do you not think that?”

“You two left the house together.” Yesung says.

“…You’re mad because we went out on the porch together?” Ryeowook asks.

“Anything could have happened”

“And what did happen was him letting me rant out my feelings and what not about this relationship of yours and mine because I don’t really have anyone else to talk with it about, who could give me advice.”

“Couldn’t have done that inside?”

“No! Because I didn’t want everyone to be all in our relationship. They already know something's not right!”

“But Sungmin is the exception?”

Ryeowook lets out a loud groan. “Seriously?! Do you hear yourself?!” he shouts. “You’re mad because I’m interacting with people who are our friends!” Ryeowook pinches his nose and lets out a sigh. Letting silence fill the air again. “Okay, stop…” he says dropping his hand to the side. “Okay, something else is wrong with this.” he says.

Looking straight at Yesung, Ryeowook tilts his head to the side. “You’re having trouble with the people I’ve been spending the most time with lately.” he states. “And with this ray of people chosen, I can say that it’s not that you don’t trust them around me. I can understand Hyungsik because he just joined us. But Jessica? You’ve known her for a very long time. So the real deal is, me, right?”

Getting silence as he answer, Ryeowook takes a step closer to the other. “Yesung... do you not trust me?” he asks. The older looks at him before looking away. “Ryeowook…” Yesung says softly. Ryeowook waits for him to say more but nothing comes. He blinks multiple times at the feelings that wash over him in that moment.

“Wow” Ryeowook whispers. “I can honestly say that I didn’t see this as the outcome.” he says with a small forced laugh. Yesung looks at him. “Ryeow-”

“No, I understand” Ryeowook says cutting him off.

“What?”

“I mean, as we all know, this is the farthest I’ve even been in a relationship.”

“Ryeowook”

“I’ve finally seen what it’s like, so maybe I want to see what it’ll be like with someone else.”

“Ryeowook, stop”

“You know, maybe even switch teams sometimes. A lot more options if I play both fields.”

“Ryeowook”

“It’s my first, so why put so much faith in me when I can easily mess everything up.”

“Ryeowook”

“Who cares about the bond what was being built between us.”

“Ryeowook”

“Who cares about the fact that I never even so much as looked at anyone else since I’ve met you!”

“Ryeowook”

“Who cares that I told myself that I would spend the rest of my life next to you!”

“Ryeowook”

“No, goddamn it! Stop saying my name!” Ryeowook shouts as tears fill his eyes. “It’s just making it worse.” he says, his voice lowering. “What’s the point of this if you feel that way?” he asks motioning between the two. Yesung steps toward him and takes his hand. “Ryeowook, don’t say that.” he says. Ryeowook at him. “And why not? Huh?” he asks. “Would you really want to be in a relationship with a person you don’t trust, or who doesn’t trust you?”

With silence as his answer, Ryeowook nods. “I thought so.” he whispers, pulling his hand out of Yesung's hold. Immediately wiping his eyes, Ryeowook clears his throat as he straightens himself. “So, I guess this is how we end.” he says aloud. Yesung quickly looks at him with wide eyes. “What? Ryeowook, wait.” he says but Ryeowook holds up a hand to stop him.

“No, I mean you, yourself just answered the question.” Ryeowook says. “So, that we don’t have to go through the whole heart arching scene…” he starts before clearing his throat again. “Thank you for everything. Thank you for showing interest in me. Thank you for asking me to date you. Thank you for the relationship in general. I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. And thank you for loving me, I love you too.”

Ryeowook blinks his eyes rapidly to stop the tears. “I wouldn’t choose anyone else to go through this with, even this moment.” he says. “With that said, I’ll see you around. Bye.” With that, Ryeowook makes his way out of the room and to the door. Ryeowook hears Yesung call his name as he opens the door.

Ignoring it, Ryeowook steps outside, closing the door shut behind him. Seconds later he hears a banging noise followed by a crashing sound coming from within the apartment. “No, no, no.” Ryeowook whispers to himself. He looks down at the shaking hand that still held on to the doorknob. “I really love you.” Ryeowook whispers before letting go of the doorknob.

Turning, he walks down the way and to the stairs. Only once hitting midway down the stairs, does he lets the tears he was holding out. “If this is the right thing to do, why does it feel so bad.” he cries. He wipes his eyes furiously as he begins walking down the street.

“Hey, Ryeowook!” Turning, he sees Hyungsik walking toward him. “Hey Ryeowook, what y-” Hyungsik immediately stops when he notices Ryeowook’s expression. “Ryeowook, why are you crying? Are you okay?” he asks. Ryeowook shakes his head. “I’m f-fine.” he answers. “I d-don’t want to talk a-about it. I’m just going o-over to Kyuhyun’s.” he says walking, making this way around Hyungsik. Hyungsik follows him. “Let me walk you there okay? Otherwise I’ll feel super worried at you.” he says. Ryeowook rubs his eyes again. “Do what you want.”

~~~ ~~~~ ~~~

Ah, and there goes the chapter you’ve been waiting for.

It was really tough to write this. I had ideas of how I wanted the conversation to go but I got major writers block when trying to type it and put it into understandable word for the chapter.

Sorry it took so long.