"I still can't believe it," denied Khunnie as he swallowed the remaining contents of his soju bottle. It was his second one that he polished off, but he was still behind everyone else.

"This more than getting dumped by a girl," Channie agreed, "And I would know!"

"It's a damn sadistic joke, is what it is," Taecyeon emptied his fourth bottle and reached for the fifth. "After all these years we've invested in training... countless hours of practice, all of it... down the drain."

Junsu wasn't singing. This was one of the very rare times when he wasn't humming or singing a tune... he stared up at ceiling of their dorm living room and contemplated.

Wooyoung and Junho had taken turns crying, and both had their arms around each other, as if trying to find comfort in knowing they were by each other's side.

Channie began to hiccup uncontrollably ... "You know...(hic)...it's like...(hic)... like when we all watched LOST." (hic)

Taecyeon stared him, or attempted to ... but the focus wasn't so good after drinking so much soju. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well you know...(hic)" Channie started elaborating with his hands. "Remember when we all sat here together (hic)."

"Yeah... and so?"

"So... " Channie took another long swig of his soju in attempt to stop his hiccups.

"So... remember... when it ended. And we found out... they... were... all... dead."

Junsu stopped staring at the ceiling and joined Taecyeon in staring at Chansung. Wooyoung and Junsu followed suit.

"What the hell... are you talking about?" repeated Taec.

"Well, maybe..." Channie pointed to each one of them individually. "Maybe this isn't really happening. Maybe it's all like... a nightmare that we are all sharing."

Wooyoung wiped a stray tear from his cheek and asked, "You mean we're all really dead?"

Junho looked at Wooyoung and then back at Channie. "We just don't know we're dead yet."

"Idiots," Taecyeon shook his head at them and attempted to stand, and swayed to and fro before heading down his unsteady path to his dorm room.

"Hyung!" Khun called after him. "Where are you going?"

"Probably back to bed," Wooyoung guessed.

"He's been sleeping way too much lately," Khun observed in his slurred voice. "I think he's got major depression."

Junsu chuckled sarcastically at that. "Of course he does you idiot. We all do!"

They heard the chimes of their automated lock indicate that someone was coming in the front door, and looked up and saw their Manager, Minjae, accompanied by Seulong and an arm full of cold soju.

"HYUNG!" all five cried loudly.

"Round two anyone?" Minjae asked them, sympathetically.

"You're spoiling them," Seulong warned. He glanced around the room and when he noted Taec's absence, he headed back down the hallway.

When he reached the doorway he stopped for a moment to take a deep breath. This wasn't going to be easy for anyone in the company. But especially not for the members of 2PM. And more so for Ok Taecyeon. Jay was truly like a brother to Taec, they had bonded in a playful, yet meaningful way.

Taec's back was facing Seulong, as he laid on his bottom bunk bed. Seulong smiled sadly at the long, tall figure, attempting to curl up in a fetal position. He couldn't stand by and watch for another second.

Without a moment's hesitation, Seulong claimed his place, laying behind Taeceyeon, wrapping one arm around him, while propping the other up on his elbow, head in hand, he leaned in closer.

"What am I to do with you, suffering all alone like this?"

Taecyeon attempted to shrug his friend off. He didn't want any company right now.

Seulong tightened his hold on his friend and slowly began to rock him, in unison.

"It's going to be ok, you know?"

Taec merely shook his head in denial. There were no more tears left. All of them had cried, gotten angry, drank themselves silly... but Taec was now withdrawing. It wasn't going to be ok. How could it ever be ok without one of their family members?

"It is going to hurt like hell for awhile," Seulong admitted, "But we are all in this together. And we'll come out of this together."

Again Taecyeon's only response was an attempt to pull away.

"You and I are going on a trip, so get the hell up, and get on your feet." Seulong sounded firmer, less gentle this time around.

"Hyung, leave me alone."

"Not in this lifetime... and probably not in the next either."

"Hyung!"

"Just grab a backpack with some clean underwear, and a change of clothes. That's all you'll need."

It was a few hours later that Taecyeon was de-boarding the small plane that landed on Jeju Island. He had kept his sunglasses on the entire trip, attempting to hide his swollen, bloodshot eyes.

"What are we doing here?" Taec asked angrily. Why Jeju Island of all places? There were so many other options that were much closer to Seoul.

"Shut up and follow me."

And he did.

Seulong had rented a villa that was part of a large resort complex. The villas were separated from the main hotel, and each had a breath taking view of the ocean.

He grabbed Taecyeon's arm, locked his own around it, and held up a plastic bag and grinned.

"More sustenance!"

"We're going to be in trouble when we get back," Taec warned his friend.

"Do you really care about that now?"

He had a point. He didn't care much about anything at the moment.

His friend pulled him out the sliding glass doors that opened up into a broad and wide lawn. As they tread across the soft grass, they could hear the pounding of the waves drawing closer.

At the edge of the lawn, a long wooden railing kept them from proceeding further, and for good reason. The resort and villas were high above the ocean, at the top of a cliff. To the left and right, all they saw were the colorful but jagged edges of sediment rock. The waves crashed up against large black boulders below them.

"Nice place ..." Taecyeon grunted. "Did you bring me here to jump?"

"Yep. But we're going to eat first."

"What?"

"That way you'll weigh more, and fall faster."

Seulong pulled on his partner's arm and they sat on the edge of the lawn.

He began taking out the contents of his bag, offering Taecyeon a cold bottle of soju, while he removed the kimbap and chips.

"I couldn't find any mango slices," Seulong joked.

Mango.

"Don't..." Taec turned to his buddy and leveled his glare, "Don't try and joke about it."

"You're not the only one hurting here. The others are going to need you, little brother. You'll have to be the new leader."

"Like hell!"

"Like it or not..."

"HYUNG! It's too soon, ok? We aren't going to have a ing leader! And I don't want to talk about eating mango slices without Jay!"

It was an "OneDay" thing between the two groups, 2AM and 2PM. Each time that Taecyeon or Jay went to the States for a break, they brought back bags and bags of fresh mango slices from Costco. They were prized, and members tried to beg, borrow and steal them away!

"I guess I need to call in for reinforcements ..."

He pulled out his cell phone and began texting.

Taecyeon ignored him and looked out at the ocean. A flock of pelicans flew by, directly in front of him, and he silently watched as they soared by. How awesome would that be, he thought, to take flight, and disappear.

Twenty minutes later a pair of footsteps padded across the lawn, and Seulong glanced behind them, and waved to her.

He stood up and gave her a very quick hug and nodded at Taecyeon.

"He's all yours, I've tried everything." And with that, he retreated back into the villa.

She sat next to Taecyeon, who didn't notice, as he was fixated on the waves crashing and pounding against the cliff's rocks.

This is what he felt like... the world had come crashing down around him... pummeling him just when they started to take off, just when they were on the rise.

Yoona didn't say a word. She just sat there quietly and waited.

Several minutes passed. She then noticed the kimbap and reached down for one.

She began unwrapping it, wondering if she should ask for his permission before helping herself.

But since he hadn't even noticed her presence, she decided against it, and took a rather large bite from the roll.

Seulong had left them alone and went inside to make a decent dinner for them.

A soft, fragrant scent swept past Taecyeon, carried by the sea breeze.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. His hair fell from his face, and he felt the warmth of the sun through his sunglasses.

"I know I've lost it now, hyung... you're even starting to smell like her."

Yoona's replied by pushing her half eaten kimbap roll up to his mouth.

"Eat."

Just one word. And that word jolted Taecyeon out of his funk and his head whipped to the side to face her.

"Yoona?" he couldn't believe his own eyes.

She nodded and gave him a half smile.

"Now eat." She pushed the roll back to his lips, and watched as they slowly parted. When they were opened wide enough, she pushed the roll into his mouth, satisfied as he bit off a large portion.

"Whatareyoudoinghere?" his words munched together as he chewed.

"I just signed a contract with Innisfree, a skin care product. Their base is here on Jeju Island, so..." she shrugged.

"No," he tried to swallow the rice mixture down, "What are you doing HERE?"

She turned to look out into the horizon... the water was deep blue and she saw the white foam of waves cusping.

"I'm sorry about Jay."

He nodded and reached for her hand that still was holding the remainder of the roll, and raised it to his mouth as he took another bite. Suddenly it made sense why Seulong had chosen Jeju.

"Sometimes it helps, just to have someone next to you." she said softly.

He considered her words. And then he followed her gaze out to the horizon as he chewed.

He wanted to raise his voice and scream until he was hoarse, cursing at the gods that let this happen. He wanted to fly to Seattle and kick Jay's . He wanted ...

Instinctively he knew exactly what he wanted. But she wasn't his to have.

"So you're my shoulder to cry on?"

She didn't answer him... but he saw her smile out to the ocean and that was enough.

"What is it that they say: Desperate times call for desperate measures?" he asked.

She turned to look at him and he raised his head and faced her... he noticed how her legs were stretched out and crossed in front of her... how she leaned back on her hands and how her short hair danced in the sea breeze.

Without a second thought, he laid his head down into her lap, still facing the ocean.

Yoona was surprised but didn't object to the intimacy.

Just this once, she thought.

"I'm not Ha Jiwon, but I guess I'll do..." Yoona chided him.

"Oh this will do just fine," Taec smiled genuinely now, snuggling his head in her lap.

"Just wait until I tell Khunnie and Channie about this..." he pretended to joke with her.

Several minutes passed between them, and off in the distance a foghorn belched every minute or so. She felt him sigh heavily.

"It's hard now... it hurts now more than ever... but you'll get through this. The only way to get past it and move on is to go through it."

Although she had not experienced the pain of losing a member of the group, she had experienced the pain of losing family. She knew about loss, and when Seulong had told her that he wasn't functioning, just drinking and sleeping, she knew he needed his friends.

He reached behind her, for one of her arms, and flopped her hand on top of his head.

It brought a smile to her face and she ruffled his hair.

"Thanks..." he lowered his voice and folded his arms, drawing comfort from her as she his hair. She didn't know if he was thanking her for coming, or for the closeness they shared now, but it didn't matter.

This is exactly what he needed. If only this moment could last forever, he thought.

Her thoughts raced from Taecyeon back to DongHae. She thought back to the words she heard him confess to her. The way he said he would wait for her response. And the tight hug he gave her when he last saw her.

DongHae, she thought.

But here she sat, with her legs crossed, and his head on her lap. Her fingertips kneaded his scalp... and he closed his eyes.

Taecyeon needed her. And in spite of everything that had happened between her and Taec, she felt compelled to help him.

DongHae would understand. Because he's kind, gentle, loving. He's DongHae.

"I saw you on Champagne with Hongki," Taec said, "And I remember thinking, even if it's at the hair salon, why does Lee Hongki get to see Yoona's sleeping face? Life just isn't fair these days."

"Is that why you picked Tiffany as your ideal girl over me the following week on the same show?" she teased.

"Oh you saw that?"

Taecyeon frowned as he recalled NichKhun had picked Yoona twice now as his Ideal Type.

"How does it feel," he wondered aloud, "To be the 'ideal' of so many?"

"It's an illusion."

"What do you mean?"

"I feel like when I hear some say "Im Yoona" is their ideal that they say it because everyone else says it. There's no way they can tell the truth and let the world know who they really like. So it's safe for them to say me."

He thought about that for a while. It made sense... and yet, he knew better. He knew that she had the power to make men fall in love with by merely smiling at them.

In the distance he heard the foghorn blowing, even though it was a perfectly clear day. He opened his eyes to look over at the lighthouse on the nearby cliff's peninsula.

He wanted to ask her about so many things. He wanted to ask her about her 13 oppas, and what they meant to her. He wanted to ask her about her first kiss. He wanted to know what she thought of him.  But not now.  He knew this wasn't the time.

She has always been honest, and he knew he wouldn't like her answers.

No, not yet.

"I think you're like that lighthouse over there Yoona. The job of that lighthouse is to shine it's light out there for all those ships that might be otherwise lost in the fog without it. And on clear days, like today, you simply shine just as brightly, even without the light on."

When she didn't say anything in response, he knew she doubted him. But only because she doubted herself. One flaw he saw in Yoona was her lack of self confidence.

Several more minutes passed as they both stared out into the spacious ocean.

"Things will never be the same for 2PM..." he admitted regretfully.

"That's right." she agreed.

He closed his eyes again and felt the warmth of having her so close and without intending to, he drifted off to sleep.

Yoona looked down at her friend, and his usual chiseled features had softened in his slumber. At some point he had turned over, to lay on his back, giving her full view of his face. He looked peaceful.

"Your sleeping face isn't so bad," she whispered.

An hour had passed, and she could no longer feel the pins and needles that had crept through her legs. The sound of the horn raised over the waves. It was then that his body jerked awake.

He looked up at her, trying to focus.

Was he dreaming?

"Yoona?"

She smiled down at him and attempted to stretch out her toes, hoping to bring some life back into her legs.

He sat up and combed his hands through his hair.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Because you looked so peaceful."

It was then that he realized that for a short time, he had stopped thinking about Jay Park. He stopped hurting. Even if it was momentary, she was a safe haven for him.

"You've pulled me out of my fog today ..."

She looked over at him and then back at the ocean. It began to turn silver as the sun descended lower into the horizon.

"I hope I can return the favor someday. I know you don't need another Oppa. But everyone can use another friend, right?"

He heard her tummy growl in response and they both laughed.

"Let's go see what the monkey is cooking up," Taec said as he raised himself up off her lap and reached down and pulled her to her feet as he stood up.

The foghorn bellowed again off in the distance and Taecyeon smiled.

Today wasn't so bad after all.