A weird, bad angsty chapter that makes no sense....0__0

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He watches her from afar, sees her daily, yet he can only observe.

She's a girl fully of mysteries and her face has always been pale and she doesn't talk that much. She goes home alone after school, and when its winter, she just stares at the sky in awe as the snowflakes delicately fall from the sky.

Taemin wonders if she ever makes goals for herself, because all he sees is that she wastes her time and the time that she wastes, costs her life. 

Her face so pale, eyes tired, lips dry, her face chiseled but too sharp, it seems as if she has stayed up late, doing whatever dirty thing she may be doing. Other days, he sees her smoking weed just outside the boundaries of the school, then get picked up by random, different colors every week.

Yet, he never takes the courage to speak with her. 

Maybe its because she has changed now. She's no longer who she is. They've been together in the past, but now--its different.

They no longer know each other.

And secretly, he wonders what has happened after they separated. What happened to her? What in the world--he felt somehow guilty and confused at the same time, for nothing.

Because he also had this thought, 'we're over, she's nothing to me. So why do you care?'

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Throughout the year, he walks by her avoiding her like the plague, to see how she's doing. But she had never changed. It was the same pattern over and over, he still didn't know why he still had the interest to look out for her.

~

And in her mind, she needed help. She wanted to reach out towards someone so they could help her and change and be the person she could be.

She's wasted her life, she knows, but she doesn't know what to do.

Her cigerettes scattered all over her desk, the smoke irritates her, but she continues becauses its her method to show the rest of the world stubbornly that she doesn't give a damn of what you think. Its what she wants, no ones tries to stop her or bothers to ask.

Jinri feels invisible. No one pays attention to her, if she flunks her exams, she still passes by giving her teachers s or what dirty job required.

And she isn't dumb, nor playing hard to get she likes to think.

Its just that, she needs help and she doesn't know who is willing to help her in any way.

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Both futures don't look so bright, both of them dull from whatever reason. It hurts them both, that both of them don't seek for the help that is urgent at the highlight of their lives while they're still in their teens.

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Shes wearing a plaid rouge skirt to school muching her  apple with her hair tied in a wispy, messy bun. Her eyes filled dark eye bags that she doesn't even bother to cover up with concealer, and a new cut on the back of her wrists.

As she walks by, he could smell the scent of dead roses over her body, and he wonders if shes a zombie awaken from the dead, or the fact that she's nearly dead.

And she notices him looking at her strangely causing her to want to disappear quickly and to turn into thin air. 

'why are you looking at me? i don't deserve anything'

'why are you so different?'

Their thoughts speak in different ways, that brings a different force that causes her to stop running away and him to reach for her tiny wrist.

"Are you okay?"

She bites back a cold remark and softens her tone of speech.

"Do I seem to be okay at all?'

Her respone leaves him hanging yet and when he lets go of her wrist, she still doesn't prance away from her predator.

"I hope you're doing well. You probably don't care, because no one cares about me."

As she speaks  he notices how tired she looks apart from her physical appearance but her mentality. It has aged, and she's mature with her own options just like him.

"I care."

"Do you?"

Her cold fingers pat him softly on the shoulder before she gives him one final look before walking out of his prescence, and he just watches her slip away once again. 

Because, no matter how much he wanted to help, he didn't know how to either. So, he could only watch her from afar, judging her like he did before.

-Their relationship was far from the start, they grew together a strange bond that no one understand, and it only made sense that they live their lives in different angles and lessons.

But everytime they glanced at the mirror, they would see each other in ghostly appearances because they could only watch each other's soul. They were cursed. 

The way she longs for him is by cutting, and he sees her in his nightmares as she caresses him by the face giving his shivers for the rest of the night keeping him away for the entire week.