It was hot, and I couldn’t breathe. My eyes darted open at the smell of smoke. I shivered as I blindly stumbled in the darkness trying to escape my small room. The smell of burning books and the crackle of the wood from the apartment crumbling made my legs sprint faster to escape. I screamed for my parents, praying they would join me in escaping. When I made it down stairs, I noticed the entrance was covered in flames. I turned around to enter my parents study hoping the escape route there was still usable. When I pushed open the door, I noticed immediately the bodies of my parents below the open window.

“Mom, Dad?” I asked moving forward to examine them more closely. I gasped falling to my knees when I saw their surprised faces ashened with the color of death.

“Where is it?” that voice I knew it well.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I snarled turning to face Junlee.

“You can’t run from me, I will kill you. And everyone you get near.” Junlee growled. I shivered in fear, coughing from the smoke and flames.

“Run girl, run and never return to here.” He ordered before my feet rushed from the room and back to my room.

SUJU-SUJU-SUJU-SUJU-SUJU

My eyes bolted open before I rushed to the bathroom to throw up. That memory, I hated it. I could vaguely make out the oppa’s moving about getting ready for their day.

“Rin, are you okay?” it was Henry’s voice; the Canadian had come to visit with his fellow band mate Zhou Mi.

“Ugh, yeah don’t worry,” I replied cleaning my mouth and looking up at his worried face. The mochi was cute, but I already noticed the glares he was receiving from the others everytime we got near eachother. I was beginning to notice a trend with me and the boys presence.

“You’re sick,” Henry pointed out coming to sit by my side and rub gentle circles on my back. It was comforting, a sensation I hadn’t felt since my parents death and even a little before that. Ever since the experiment, I had severed all human emotional contact.

“Thanks,” I replied before standing up and immediately falling against the sink as my legs failed to support me.

“Come on, I’ll help get you back in bed.” Henry said as he carried me back to the soft mattress of my new bed. My head felt like it was on fire, and my eyesight was blurry. I could feel my heart accelerating as I tried to catch my breath.

“You look horrible, should I call a doctor?” he asked worry evident in his voice. I shook my head, though the action made me woozy.

“I’m fine,” I lied knowing the members would panic if they knew I was sick and Leeteuk would have a field day if I somehow deliriously told of the experiment. Henry seemed to disagree, but nodded and left me alone. I was appreciative of how well he listened to me. My whole body hurt. I wanted to scream out in the pain I felt. My head buzzed with noise sending me into a downfall of self-hatred. It was their fault and it would always be. I blamed them for creating such a drug and yet I also blamed myself for stupidly drinking it. I had loved him or so I thought. Even if he abused me, I still loved him when he me. I knew his pain thanks to taking the same drug. I felt we were connected by the same pain, we understood eachother. And yet he still died and here I was now being stalked and wanting nothing more than to follow him and my parents into death. No one would love me after they knew my past and hidden secrets. I didn’t even love me. The buzzing in my head was getting louder like children playing on the playground, laughter filled my head and yet I knew they were not real. I vaguely noticed when someone entered and placed a wet cloth on my head. Nor had I realized the soft touches of someone cooing over me. No I just wanted to close my eyes and meet death.

SUJU-SUJU-SUJU-SUJU-SUJU

Henry hadn’t been lying, Rin was really sick. It made me sad to see such a strong spirited kid lying so depleted on a bed. Her skin was pale and cold and her eyes were dulled and unseeing. She looked like death and that scared me. I had told Leeteuk and the others I would watch her, not expecting Donghae to do the same. That left the two of us together with her. I hated that we had to miss work and the fans, but Rin had me intrigued. There was something about her that drew me in. I wanted to protect her and keep her safe from whatever past was haunting her.

“Hyukkie, how is she?” Donghae asked as he walked in. I shook my head her hair as it matted to her skin due to fever.

“Can you get the thermometer; I want to see how high this fever really is.” I gently ordered making him nod and leave the room.

“Why are you so sick suddenly?” I whispered unsure if she could hear me or not. I didn’t want to leave her side, she was just too weak and innocent looking. I could see her fear. Whatever had happened to her was now catching up with her.

“Here you go,” Donghae called handing me the instrument so I could check her fever.

“So, I finally got the papers from the right people. But you know if Leeteuk and the managers found out, specially Soo Man, things could get bad.” Donghae whispered.

“Look at her, can you think of a punishment worse than this for what we are about to do? Is the reward not worth it?” I asked him making him take a seat in the desk chair and nod.

“How high is it?” he asked curiously.

“Not high enough for the hospital, but still pretty high. If it gets worse we will have to go to the doctors.” I replied. The two of us returned our eyed to the now heavily breathing girl.

“We have to tell them our plan soon Hyukkie,” Donghae announced.

“I know Hae,” I replied again lightly kissing Rin’s forehead.