“Taemin, you’re looking pale again…” I uttered.

The maknae of the group didn’t reply instead, he coughed uncontrollably. I went up to him and patted his back, hoping that the action would soothe his condition. I took a glance at my Samsung S III phone when Taemin finally managed to stop himself from coughing. Scrolling through my contacts, I spotted the name that I wanted to find.

Lee Dongmin.  

I wanted to call him but I hesitated doing that when something popped into my mind.

What if Doctor Dongmin was busy?

I surely wouldn’t want to disturb someone who has a busy and important occupation but I couldn’t see Taemin is this condition anymore. It hurts me too much. No, it even hurt the members. True, they didn’t know about Taemin’s horrible disease (if he is even confirmed having one) but they are obviously worried about him. Seeing him all weak and pale like that, who wouldn’t be worried?

But, Dr. Dongmin did say that he would inform me when he got any news…

It’s not that I don’t trust him or anything like that. But he too is a human, and humans can forget, right? What if he forgotten to check on Taemin? What if he already did the research and got the result but he forgotten to tell me about the results? What if he’s too busy and has much more urgent stuff to do, so he left Taemin aside, thinking that he’s not that important?

Snap out of it, Jinki.

You’re crapping.

I hate admit but I had to agree with that tiny voice inside my head. I am crapping. And I should of course, stop that. I finally came to a conclusion to not contact Taemin’s doctor. I should give him my trust and let him handle this. He is the doctor after all.

“Taemin-ah, feel any better?” I asked in a soft tone.

“Yeah, I guess so…” the younger replied back after a while.

Taemin took a few gulps of water before suggesting that we should be heading back to the recording studio. I told him that if he didn’t want to record for today then it’s fine but he insisted and we ended up in the recording studio, surrounded by the other members. All of them had the same ‘Tae, are you okay?’ expression.

It took quite some time for Taemin to convince them that he was alright. Usually, I would help Taemin in this kind of situations, but Taemin is lying that he’s fine and I wasn’t going to lie to the members about the youngest health. So I just went and prepared the microphones while Taemin did all the convincing.

After the recording, the manager told that he wanted to see me after dinner. Dinner time passed and I told everyone to go home first, without having to wait for me. They did go back and I immediately went and met up with our manager. What he told was pretty much expected by me. He said that SHINee would be having another world tour soon and he wants all of us to get ready for it. Other than that, he just told me not to be afraid to complain or inform him if any of the members wasn’t following my orders or concentrating on their work. I nodded, bowed and head back to where my members were.

Once I entered our dorm, I gathered everyone up to announce what the manager told me. SHINee came around me and I begin telling them the details about our packed schedules and the tour. Everybody was paying their full attention. Everyone, except for Key.

“Key, did you hear what I said?” I questioned out loud.

“Yup.” The sub-rapper replied as he pressed some buttons on his phone in a very fast speed.

“Okay, what did I say?”

“Holy shiz! Tao bought a new Gucci!!! And seriously Baekhyun? Chill with the amount of eyeliner, chic…” Key monologue aloud as he bounce on the couch.

“Key! Are you even listening!?” I asked once more.

“Mm mm.” He answered, not breaking his eye contact with his phone.

I sighed as I told the others to dismiss. I head to my bedroom as I heard Minho telling Key to stop ‘pissing the leader off’. I slumped on my bed while the others were still outside. I didn’t know why but I just felt exhausted. How come the others weren’t as whipped out? Being a leader has its advantages but boy, it’s hard.

This wasn’t the first time Key was like this. In fact, the umma of SHINee had always been this way. I don’t blame him though. His attitude is originally that way. There’s nothing anyone can do about it. He’s the type where he expects people to listen to him but he doesn’t listen back- except for Taemin, of course. He’ll definitely listen to his son. Taemin is just special to Key.

I am not purposely telling him to listen to what I say so that I can waste his time, I was telling that to make him more acknowledge about what’s going on around. If he listened to my orders or announcement, it might help him be even more prepared for the upcoming schedules. Besides, how hard can listening be?

Key has to stop this bad habit of his. I came to a conclusion to complain to the manager about the 21-year-old. Maybe then he would learn his lesson? Manager is not harsh anyway, so I guess it won’t hurt to be a strict leader for once.

__

“Yes, he wasn’t concentrating because of his phone.” I told him firmly.

“Very well, then. I am going to see him now.” Manager said with his usual tone of voice.

I followed him to a room where all the members were chilling around and chatting with one another. But, of course, seeing the Manager who suddenly made an appearance completely destroyed their relaxation.

“Key, I heard that you weren’t paying attention to your leader.” He told straightforward.

Key seemed surprised and glanced at me.

“Well, it’s true, Key… You were not concentrating.” I stated.

The sub-rapper lowered his head and apologized. I was satisfied, seeing Key regret his mistake but the manager wasn’t.

“Give me your phone.”

“What?” Key asked unintentionally and received a glare from the manager.

Wow.

I didn’t know he would confiscate Key’s phone.

“That’s unfair!” The second eldest suddenly protested.

“Then, if you want it fair, I shall take your phone too, Mr. Kim.”

“But I did nothing wrong!” Jonghyun continued.

“Jonghyun-hyung is right!” Taemin joined in.

And after a long argument of phones, everyone’s phone got confiscated.

Including mine.

__

Concerts. Fan-meeting. Photo shoots. Showcase. Variety shows. Interviews.

I swear this was the most tiring world tour in my life.

When we returned to Korea, I thought I could relax but the opposite happened. The moment we reached our dorm, our precious maknae fainted. We rushed him to the hospital he got admitted before. Dr. Dongmin was on duty and was surprised to see Taemin as his patient. A few moments later, Dongmin-sshi called me to his office and there was when I felt like committing suicide.

“Taemin was confirmed diagnosing when I got the results of the tests we ran on him but it wasn’t severe. If he undergone a surgery, then he would be fine. ” Dongmin explained.

“I tried my best to contact you but you never picked up your phone! I even e-mailed you!!! You are the only person who I have in contact under Lee Taemin, Jinki… I tried contacting you every day but  you never replied. And when was that I knew that Taemin was diagnosed? A few months ago.” His shout slowly turned into a whisper.

“And all of a sudden, you appeared again and brought Taemin here after a few months I lost contact with you.” He continued.

H-How could I forget?

I forgot all about Taemin's health tests result.

How I ing forget that Taemin was suffering all this while?

I was busy...

No, your busy schedule is not an excuse, Jinki.

“I’m sorry! So sorry! Please forgive me! My phone was- No, it was my fault I’m really really sorry.” I begged, not realizing that I was slowly getting on my knees.

“No. Don’t apologize to me. Say sorry to your friend.”

“Taemin? I will later-”Before I could finish my sentence, he cut me.

“You want to know why you should apologize to him instead?” he held my shoulders in a tight grip.

I wanted to say something but my voice didn’t dare to leave my throat.

“It’s because time had made him enter the last stage of cancer and there’s no way he would survive that anymore.” He let go of his grip and left the room without another word.

I stood there frozen, only to hear Dongmin’s footsteps leaving the room as my mind recalled what he said.

“It’s because time had made him enter the last stage of cancer and there’s no way he would survive that anymore.”