I felt the coldness hit me. My arms reached for something warm to cover me up with. I didn’t manage to find a blanket or anything, so I decided to crouch into a ball. I have no idea why but it always made me feel warmer that way.

“Taemin?”

I heard a voice calling out for my name. I laid flat on my back and stayed still, concentrating on my hearing. I waited for a few minutes, but there was nothing. Just silence. I was about to sleep again when I felt something warm hit my cheek.

No, it wasn’t painful. It was just a quick, short and not-so-hard smack. It didn’t hurt but the “paak!” that was heard made it sound painful. But really, it didn’t hurt.

“How could you slap him!?”

“I was just waking him up…”

“BY SLAPPING!?”

“It wasn’t a slap! I just placed my hand on his cheeks with a little impact… Besides, he slept for too long already…”

I opened my eyes, regretting immediately because of the light. I squinted my eyes to adjust with the bright surrounding.

And there stood an angry looking diva and a dino who kept repeating the word ‘aisssssshhhh’.

“U-Umma?” I stuttered.

It was then I realised how dry my throat was.

Where am I again?

“You’re in the hospital.” Jonghyun-hyung stated simply.

B-But how did I...

“You fainted.” He said again.

STOP READING MY MIND.

“You didn’t have to tell him! He didn’t even ask!” Key yelled.

“Shh… Lower your voice, hyung. This is a hospital in case you’ve forgotten.” Minho spoke in his low voice, making Jonghyun startled a little. He came to me and sat on the bed that I was on.

“Minnie? You okay?” his low voice uttered with worry.

I nodded in response, wishing that he would go away already.

But, unfortunately for me, he didn’t.

“Taemin-ah? You’re awake!” Onew peaked through the door of my ward then came running to me.

He crashed me into a hug and yelled at the other members for not informing him sooner.

Minho just smiled. He was about to tell me something when the doctor arrived.

He was tall, probably taller than Minho. He had large black spectacles like Key’s and he wore a lab coat. A stethoscope was dangling from his neck as he paced fast into my ward. When he was near enough, I read his nametag saying, “LEE DONGMIN”.

He just took a glance at my health chart that was hanging at the right side of my bed and asked how I was feeling. I replied telling him that I was fine. He told me a few things. You know, all the ‘should do’s ’ and ‘should not do’s’. He flashed me a warm smile and headed out when Onew called him.

“Aren’t you going to tell us what is wrong with Taemin?” He questioned, trying the best to sound polite.

Lee Dongmin-sshi cleared his throat before explaining.

“He’s fine when we checked him but to be on the safe side, we ran some tests on him. The results are not done yet. We will surely inform you if we have the results, Mr…” he dragged the end of the sentence.

“Lee Jinki.” The leader finished the sentence with a bow.

“Right. Lee Taemin is allowed to leave this hospital tomorrow morning, if he wants to.” He stated.

Do I?

What’s the difference with staying here and going back home? I would still be alone. Filthy. Disgusting.

Wait.

I have to pay if I stayed in the hospital.

Well, not me, the company has to pay but still…

“I would want to leave as soon as possible.” I told Dongmin.

___

“Tae...?”

“Yow makna- WOAH. What’s up with the horrible make-up on your face?”

“Omo! My baby! What happened!?”

Everyone bombard me with statements about my used-to-be-baby-like face. Everyone, except Onew-hyung, who looked at me with apologetic eyes.

“I just didn’t get enough sleep last night, that’s all…” I gave them an assuring smile, only to see Onew-hyung frowning in response while the others nodded.

I was heading to the couch when Key stopped me.

“Taemin-ah… I’ve made your favourite for breakfast. Come and join us, nae?”

“It’s okay, umma. I’m not hungry…” I replied.

“But you hadn’t eaten anything last night.” He protested.

“I did. I ate some biscu-”

“Come on, baby. Just eat…” He cut me off before I could finish my sentence.

“I told you I am full.” I replied once more, with slight irritation in my voice.

“But I made you-”

“WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND WHEN I SAY I AM NOT HUNGRY!?” I yelled before running to Onew, mine and Minho’s shared room.

Inside, I leaned against the door while sobbing hard. My weak legs slowly bend and made me sit as I continued being melancholic.

I didn’t mean to yell at Key. I can’t even imagine myself doing that.

But I did.

I did scream at him when he was just caring about me.

I am sure that he hates me now. Like how Minho does.

I got up unstably and slowly head to my bed. I just took two small steps when the door flung open and hit me, making me fall on the floor with a thud.

“Taemin? Taemin! Oh god! I’m so sorry! I-I- didn’t know- you- there- sorry! Just sorry!” the culprit voiced loudly as he helped me up.

I groaned, rubbing my forehead, the part that felt the pain the most. The leader brought me to his bed and let me lie down there. He lay down next to me, looking up at the uninteresting ceiling.

“I know you didn’t sleep for the last 4 days.” He stated in his usual calm voice.

“How did you?” I asked in a bored tone. I didn’t really want to know his answer but it’s better than complete silence.

“I know everything about you.” He replied.

…

…

Silence.

“Now if you would just eat and prepare yourself-”

“No.” I made my decision.

“Taemin-ah, please...?” the elder pleaded.

“I said no.”

“Okay. Lee Taemin. This is enough.” He got up and glared at me.

“I…”

“You are making everyone worry! Don’t you see that!? You’re making ME worry like crazy!!! Are you that blind to not see!?” he was growling but I didn’t see his eyes that were showing concern.

“STOP IT!” I screamed while tugging my hair like a mad person.

“S-Stop what?”

“Stop pretending like you ‘know everything about me’ because you don’t! I… I thought you did.” I whispered the last part.

The leader was speechless. He was loss for words. His mouth opened and closed several times, wanting to say something but nothing ever comes out.

“Why are you even worried!? Just ignore me then your problems will be solved right?” I paused to inhale some air.

“WHY DON’T YOU JUST ING DESPISE ME LIKE-”

I stopped abruptly as he pulled me in his embrace. I stood still, sobbing uncontrollably on my hyung’s shoulder. He leaned to the side of my face and whispered something. His warm voice was calm and strict at the same time.

“Don’t you dare tell me to despise you ever again.”

So... Did I like fail?