Seunghyun only left a few hours ago, yet Jiyong was already feeling the loneliness it left. To try and occupy the time, he had started cleaning. Multiple times he broke down in tears,finding the older man's books or things he left scattered around the house. Originally, Seunghyun didn't even live here. After spending so many night it was like the man decided he did. Thinking of this brought a small smile to his face. The smile didn't last as he walked back into his own bedroom. On his bed layed a small pile of clothes and a note on top. Disgust was obvious on his face. He didn't want to touch any of it. He was sick of crying. If he was acting like this with T.o.p only gone for a few hours. How was he going to act a year in?

Just go get it over with G-Dragon snatched the note into his hand. The page was covered in Seunghyun's neat handwriting,nothing like his own. Sitting down on the edge of his bed, Jiyong glanced to the clothes piled beside him. He wanted to post-pone the letter reading as much as he could. Reaching down he patted Gaho's head gently. The dog had been whimpering and following him around all day, never leaving his side for one moment.  Taking  deep breath, Jiyong let his eyes move along the neatly written letter.

Jiyong

I never planned to leave on such short notice,or without telling you. Now that you have found this and I'm already gone,I'd like to tell you a few things and get them off my chest. I've known for nearly a month I'd be leaving.I wanted to tell you. The thing is I just never had the time. Even though you're probably mad at me for not telling you,and depressed that I left. Please don't be sad,baby. You need to be happy until I get back. I know how you are. You won't let anyone know how you feel,then you ask why they don't care. It's because your a silver tongued devil with the ability to talk yourself out of anything. Baby, I love you. I know you don't accept that we're a couple. When I get back I'd like you to finally be able to do that without being afraid of anyone's opinions.Oh,and you probably know it's a tradition for my mother to get my clothes I wore before getting my uniform. But,I want you to keep them.That's all I have to say really. Take care of yourself Jiyong. I'll be thinking of you.

Seunghyun

Using the back of his hand,Jiyong wiped trailing tears off his cheeks. That was the last thing he expected from the letter. Most of the time Seunghyun wasn't as sentimental as that. The words written on the page made him miss the man that much more. Folding the letter into a small square, Jiyong tucked it into the bedside table drawer,not wanting to lose it. He would have to write back sometime. Grabbing the clothes laying there, he rose quickly to his feet. He didn't know what to do with them.

With a small shrug, Jiyong placed them in the drawer with the rest of T.o.p's clothes. Crawling back onto the bed, he crawled under the blankets quickly. He'd be spending a lot of time in this bed,sleeping the days away. Waiting for the day Seunghyun returned. The letter had him thinking deeply about their relationship. He had kept it a secret from everyone he knew,too embarrassed to tell. I must be hurting him by doing that. Jiyong thought sadly,curling into a ball.

Jiyong didn't know how much time passed,or how many times his phone rang or vibrated. He wanted sleep. He wanted to forget that Seunghyun had ever left. It was like a nightmare come true. The older man left and there was nothing he could do about it either. For the first time in a long time the bed beside him was empty and he was cold. It was a bitter kind of cold. The cold where you couldn't tell if it was actually the room or just the loneliness that made you want more blankets to keep you warm. Jiyong was restless. He just couldn't take it! The room was to silent,Gaho sleeping on the floor beside the bed. At one point the rapper had been tempted to pull the shar pei up on the bed with him but decided against it.

Really, all he wanted was Seunghyun back. The man was his safety blanket. The one who kept his warm and happy. Without him there,it was slowly dawning on the younger man all what T.o.p meant to him. He shouldn't have been embarrassed to tell anyone that he was with Seunghyun. Seunghyun was a great,kind man who deserved all the love in the world. G-Dragon wanted to give him all that love now. After months of being embarrassed to be seen with him, Jiyong finally wanted to show his true love.

After coming upon this realization, Jiyong stayed in his bed for the rest of the day. Sometimes crying,sometimes just staring blankly at the pictures of him and Seunghyun. The silence was killing him. He wanted to hear T.o.p's deep voice,the way he would laugh at him for doing something stupid. He wanted it all back. In a matter of a day the very thing he loved most was snatched away and wouldn't be back for years.

I guess I'll just be lonely until then.

________

Blah! This chapter was terrible,I know ;n; I felt all sad today(I watched Into The Fire. Officially the saddest movie ever)  so I think it really affected this chapter. Anyways, hopefully you enjoyed. Oh and about the, "my mother is supposed to get these". It's a custom that when young men join the military they send the last clothes they wore to their mothers so that their mothers can cry over them or something of the sorts.