Chapter Thirteen
This Isn't An AffairSeungri makes his way to the woman he loves.
Haneul.
He arrives to her apartment within half an hour. Its almost two in the morning, and he's tired, but he knows she'll be awake. He has a key to her door, so he knocks and let's himself in.
She's sitting on the couch with her legs up and her arms are folded around her knees. There's a lamp on the end table giving the room a dim, mysterious atmosphere.
She lifts her head up and her pink-rimmed eyes meet Seungri's.
"I can explain. Jiyong was drunk. I told you tonight's plans were for Jiyong's bachelor party and-"
"No."
Haneul unfolds herself on the couch.
"This isn't just about tonight, Seungri."
Seungri stays in place.
"I've had my suspicions. I just wanted to confirm them. Drunk or not, you two have kissed before."
"It isn't like that!"
"Then what is it?"
Seungri his lips. Its too dark. Its too dry.
"Its...Its not like that. We love each other, but its not-"
"So you love each other!"
"But it isn't an affair!"
"How is it not?"
Seungri's knees are trying to give in, but he stays strong.
"You'll never understand. Its not the same kind of love."
"What would I not understand?"
"He's been there for me since I was just an awkward kid. We've been in an idol group for over ten years!"
"So you love him more than me," Haneul interjects. It isn't a question, its a statement. Seungri lets out a deep breath.
"Haneul, please. I love you. Don't make me choose. I love both him and you in different ways. I-"
"That's not the answer I wanted."
Tears are forming in her eyes, as are Seungri's. He can't see correctly, he can't think or feel, and all he hears is Haneul's breaking voice.
"Seungri, I think we should-"
"No! Please don't say it. Haneul, I love you."
Seungri reaches into his pants pocket for that ring that he's been saving. The ring with the beautiful emerald gem, the one he's been wanting to give her.
"I...I wouldn't say there's a different quantity of love, but rather a stronger quality of love."
He lets his knees give in, and he has the ring in the cupped palm of his left hand.
"I want to spend forever with you."
Seungri is only just now realizing how it must have felt for Jiyong to propose to Eun Mi. To say you love someone more simply so they can accept your love, even if they'll never understand-It hurts.
"My love for you is stronger."
They're both quietly crying for different reasons.
"Haneul, I love you. I love you more."
His hands are shaking as he lets Haneul get a closer look at the ring and deeper into his eyes.
"I love you more than ever. More than anyone else."
Haneul hovers a hand over as she continues to quietly sob. Her eyes find his, and she starts to slowly nod her head.
She's crying because she's happy. Seungri cries in both happiness and guilt. He had to lie, just a little, and the part of his heart that has stayed loyal to Jiyong feels fractured.
She says yes and she forgives him. Seungri isn't ready to forgive himself yet.
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