Blue

Ha Neul kissed me.

The moment keeps running trough my head.Her saying she was jealous of Heeyoung,grabbing me and then kissing me.I don't even know how i feel about all of this.I wasn't angry or digusted.The only feelings that i can recognize are surprise and cofusion.I had never thought of Ha Neul as a girlfriend or someone i was interested in.I know she's pretty but that didn't really change anything for me.I know there are alot of men who find her attractive.I mean how many times would a guy come up to me asking if i could give him her number or ask if i could introduce them to Ha Neul,when she was gone to the restroom or to get a drink.I would cold-heartedly refuse and tell them to get lost.None of those erted imbeciles were enough for my little Ha Neul.

But i would've never thought that that same little Ha Neul was into me.I mean i can't blame her though.How can you not fall for me:I'm handsome beyond words,funny,smart and i might not be the tallest one around but i have a body that no girl in this world could resist.And SM knows it,thats why my fanservice package includes me being shirtless along with a few other things,just like Minho.But for some reason i thought Ha Neul was diffrent,the way she talked to me was so unlike most girls who are pretty much swooning over every little thing i do.She would said what she wanted not caring what i think about it.That's why we were best friends.I guess you could say that she fascinates me.I loved the fact that she wasn't trying to hit on me or start acting overly cute when i was around.Why are you dating Heeyoung then? You may ask.

Because Heeyoung is a whole nother story.She didn't try to act cute she just has natural Aegyo.She doesn't have a big mouth like Ha Neul and she's alot more ladylike.She isn't the smartest though but that kind off made her even cuter.Not that i have a special thing for naive girls on the contrary i (most of the time) have a liking for smart girls like Ha Neul.

Wait,why do i keep comparing everyone to Ha Neul all of a sudden?

Because she kissed you,you .How are you able to think about anyone else right now,that's the real question.Instead of thinking about how awesome you are or Heeyoung.Why not figure out what to do about Ha Neul.Stop thinking about yourself just for 5 seconds.

Okay okay,damn.Stop nagging so much.What about Ha Neul?

Do you seriously have to ask that?I seriously can't stand you right now.Is there really nothing that happened today that gives you thinkingmaterial?

No,i get that i have things to figure out  but i just don't what or at least my head is such a mess i don't even know what to start with in the first place.

Fine,fine,it really looks like i have to help you with everything.

Of course you do,your my conscience.

(Writer's note:UUhm yeah so everytime you see these conversations its them talking to their conscience.But don't worry it's not like they have Psychological problems or anything.It's more them figuring out what they already know,if that makes sense.)

Let's start with something simple because i don't want your little brain to burst at  the first question.Do you know where Ha Neul is right now?

Yes,She's back in the SWeet-NeSS appartement.Save with Meeyon,Chinsun and Luna is there too even though i don't think she's going to sleep over.

That's irrelavent information Jonghyun.Anyway,What do you think about the kiss?And don't tell me you don't know after 0.4 seconds of thinking.Take your time.I'm not going anywhere.I don't have that kind of freedom otherwise i would've left your annoying ages ago for a human that actually uses their thinking aility before doing something.

Nag,nag,nag.Uugh see, this is why i never listen to you,you just Nag to damn much.

What did you expect,i'm your freaking conscience!!!!!*sigh*Okay calm down......Just tell me about the fudging kiss,jonghyun. Please don't make me hate you more.

Uuuhm...it wasn't unpleasant guess.

What do you mean ''it wasn't unpleasant'' do you mean it as in: She’s a good kisser or the FEELING that you got wasn't unpleasant?

I..i don’t get what you're asking.

*sigh* Well, it’s like kissing an actress, she can be a good kisser without giving you any romantic feelings towards her. You enjoy the physical feeling but don't feel anything in your heart.

Yeah,i guess it was like that. She’s a good kisser but i didn't feel the same thing as when i was kissing Se Kyung or Heeyoung.I didn't feel much except for surprise.

Hmmm....okay. What about Ha Neul how do you feel when you think about her?

I feel like i have to protect her. She’s my little treasure but i wouldn't want to be her boyfriend.

Well i guess that says it all then.

What?

You don't wanna be her boyfriend.

But i already knew that. Thanks for nothing!!!!!

Yah! Don't start being all angry with me. With you you can never be too sure ,I just wanted to be sure. Now we can move on from the problem to the solution.

Okay.

The next time you’re forced to see Ha Neul is in about 2 days,right?When you have that CF shooting for Chicken Mania.Shinee+Sweetness

That’s right.

Maybe you need to leave her alone until the day of the commercial shooting. But do ask her to talk to you before you actually start shooting since it would get really awkward if you have to act like you have chemistry in the CF.

Okay….and?

Then you need to talk to her, stupid. What are you going to say?

I don’t know you tell me that’s your job.

Nope, I’m here to tell you whether something is a good plan or not. So tell what you think you’re going to say and I’ll tell you if it’ll work.

Uuuh Okay, I guess:

’So…Ha Neul,you know, somewhere in my heart I knew this day was going to come,the day you found out  not even you can resist Bling Bling. But don’t worry it’ll be alright we’re going to make it trough this and I know it might sound impossible but you’ll get over me someday. It may take 10 years and you’ll also have to live with the fact that no man in Korea will ever come even close to me but you’ll get over it, Trust me.

That speech just made me so frustrated. I think I’m going to cry.

What’s wrong with it?

Oh My DOUBLE GOD. Just kill me right now. Please I don’t want to do this anymore. Why did I out of all consciences and up with this idiot.

Oh please stop being such a drama queen, you almost sound like Key. Just tell me what’s wrong already.

*dramatic sigh* It was way too much drama and self-praise and not enough genuine feelings and caring about Ha Neul. Do you WANT her to hate you, or something. This is not some kind of high school drama this is real life and even if this was a drama you would be the arrogant douche bag that she ends up despising.

Or loving even more because of his unrisitable charms. But fine let’s try it again.

And this time don’t try to be funny and try to comfort Ha Neul.And definitely stop talking about yourself as if you are some kind of semi-god that she’ll never get over cause that’s not really comforting.

‘Ha Neul,Don’t worry about what happened that day.We can pretend  it never happened until it’s just fague memory.But I want you to know that I love you,I really do but…..only as a friend.I already have a girlfriend and I’m happy with her.But even if she goes you’ll always stay my little sister.Forever and always best friends.’’

Hmmm,I’m not sure if I wanna cry or throw up.But it’s so much better than the first version.Still a little dramatic but I think you can actually tell her how you feel like this without her beating you in a coma. Who knew one day Kim Jonghyun would say something with first thinking about it.

Oh shut up,I always think before I say stuff.

(sarcastic)Sure,you do, jonghyun.

A little earlier,Ha Neul and Minho just came out of the coffee house.

Purple

Minho smells nice.

Wait,why am i thinking that????What the hell is wrong with me.

There's nothing wrong with thinking that someone smells good.Why are you overthinking this.Just because you finally found out you like Jjong doesn't mean you cant think someone smells good.

I know bu.......

''You wanna hang out in this side street a little longer, i know it's one of your favourite spots.''Minho interrupted my thoughts

''But what about Meeyon-unnie,she gonna get really angry.''I anwsered worried for our beautiful plates.

''Oh right,Meeyon-noona.I'll call her.She likes me.Maybe she'll let you stay if i ask.''He smiled at me.

I doubted it would change anything.Even though she DID like Minho alot more then the rest of SHINee.But i don't think he knows all the reasons behind that.Behind Minhos back this was mostly her opinion on him.

''Oh this guy is just...i can't even....he so.....umf.'' or ''LOOK AT THAT BODY!!!!!!MINHO JUST MOVE YOUR Y TO MY BED'' or ''He's so nice and polite but i don't care if he was the of the month i would do him anytime of the day''.

So......She did like Minho best but maybe not for the reasons he thought.

''There's no reason in not trying.''I really needed a dosis of fun right now.

''Cool.''And his smile got even wider.He took his phone out his jacket and called Meeyon.

''Oh,hello noona,you're talking to Minho,i got Ha Neul here with me........uuuuhm...well actually i wanted to know if she can stay with me for just a little while longer.......please.......just walking trough Seoul.....I'll take really good care of her.''It seemed that Meeyon asked or said something weird because all of a sudden he started to blush and looked a bit uncomfortable.''A-Aegyo?B-but why noona?......t-thanks........yes......f-fine.''

He put up a high voice but i think he's so used to doing it on camera that his face started changing too:His eyes got bigger(how is it even possible) and he started pouting.''Noooooooooona~Can Ha Neul please stay a little bit longer,pleaaaaase~''He waited for the anwser but he looked so cute and ridiculous at the same time that i was surpressing a storm of giggles

.''Because ~Noona neomu yeppeo~and because i'm CUUUUUUUUUUUTE~''He said the last word with a really high and loud voice.And i coulnd't take it anymore.I started laughing so hard that at one point my side started hurting.I didn't pay attention to anything anymore.I think i laughed for 3 minutes straight and then had to try really hard to stop cause everytime i tried to look at Minho.Another wave of laughter went trough me.

When i finally succeeded in looking at him.He was smiling at me.His phone was back in his pocket (didn't even see that happening).

''Was it really that funny?Well anyway i succeeded.So let's go.''It only then ocurred to me that he was still holding my middle.He had made the call with his left hand and was still holding me with his right arm.

''Uuuhm,Minho.... your arm.''I said hesitantly.

''What's with my arm?''He asked as if he had no idea what i was talking about.

''It's still around me.''Why do i always have to blush at stupid moments.

''So?''

''I can walk fine.''I replied

''I'm sure you can.''

Huh? What's up with this guy.

''Then why are they still where they are.''I asked confused.

''Is it troubeling you?''He asked not looking at me anymore but straight ahead while we were walking slowly.

''N-no not per se, b-but isn't it troubeling you,i'm sure you would rather be able to use your arms freely.''

''I don't know why you think that i kind of like it.''

''B-but you can't even walk straight cause i'm so small plus it might give people the wong idea.''

''I don't really care about either of those things.''He said determined.But before i could look up he already took his arm off of me still not looking at me.I looked at him from the corners of my eyes.He surprised me when he caught me looking(or maybe staring is a better word) at him.I turned my head as fast as i could trying to fight the redness that was slowly but surely winning the battle.When i finally felt like my colour went back to normal i looked back up to see his reaction.He had a satisfied smile on his face wich annoyed the cupcakes out of me.

''What's with the stupid smile?''

He looked down and grinned

''Nothing in particular''

''What is that for stupid anwser.'' Maybe this will work *Aegyo mode*''Pleeaaasee oooooooppppaaaaaa tell Ha Neul-ssi''I pouted and made my eyes big just like he did.

He chuckled ''Fine,i was smiling because i was thinking about.....well...uuuhm....you're just really cute Ha Neul-ssi.''

Don't think too much into it.

''Thanks,you're cute too.Especially with your Aegyo face.''I redid his face.And he laughed.

''E-excuse me,Minho-oppa,but can we take a picture with you.'A group of 4 girls stood there the one that spoke was one with brown hair with dark blue streekes in it.It really didn't fit her at all.

''Uuuhm....okay.''

The girls started squeeling and it hurt my ears.

Minho went to stand in the middle with two girls on each side.Take a guess who was supposed to take the picture.The girl was really rude and pushed the camera in my hands and said ''You take it!''.I really wanted to smack her cause i'm pretty damn sure i  am her elder.I guess it's that  little bit of Korean culture that you can't quite get out of me.But i didn't say anything about it.I took the picture and gave the camera back.The girls clung to Minho like fishhooks but Then Minho said loud and clear:Let's go, Ha Neul-ssi.Bye girls.''

We left but we were still in hearingrange of the girls when i heard one of them say:Wait,he meant Ha Neul from sweetness,that's totally her.I wonder if they've been going out.''

And then another one said:I don't think so,I mean look at her in her sweatpants and sneakers that's so not dating clothes.By the way he could get someone so much prettier.''And then it got too far to hear anything.

It's true he could get someone prettier then me and so could Jonghyun(wich is ecxactly what he did).I am not trying to sound depressed or anything even though i'm far from happy but i know i'm not pretty,i'm not ugly either but i'm regular.It made me sad in my trainee days since i was afraid i wasn't going to  make it because of my looks.Wich would hurt me even more because it's not something you can do anything about.

Did Jonghyun think that too,that i wasn't pretty enough to ever think of me as interesting.That i needed to be more girly.Cute instead of my carefree boyish self.Was that what made me just a friend because he thought of me as ''one of the boys''?

Well if that's the case then i don't want a stupid douche like him.

''Ha Neul,are you alright?You really shouldn't listen to those girls.They're just jealous.''

''Sure.''i said sarcastically

We walked further when we saw a streetpainter that made realistic portrets.I stopped to look at her work.

''Hello there,Miss,would you like to try.''She was a young woman,probably mid twenties.''It's only 15,000 won.''

''Oh no sorry i was only looking,you are really talented.I draw too but nothing at this level.It almost looks like a picture.''The woman looked a bit sad. ''I would really love to but i don't have any money on me.''

''You said 15,000 won,right?''Minho started searching on the inside of his pocket again.

''NO!!Minho you already paid for my pie.''

Minho didn't even listen to me.And gave the woman the 15,000 won.She smiled and took both of our hands and sat us down on a bench wich was kind of small for two people.

She went to sit down behind her canvas and took a good look at us.Before she gasped and looked at us with her eyes wide open in shock.

Oh,goodie.Here it goes, another fan that's going to start to acting weird in 5,4,3,2,.....

''OH MY GOD!!!!!You guys are Minho from Shinee and Ha Neul form Sweetness!!!!''She said it so loud that i was afraid it would draw attention.But surprisingly she seemed to calm down and took deep breaths before se said in a scary calm voice:''Nice to meet you,big fan,big big fan.''And went back to work.

''Hey Minho could you put your arms around Ha Neul...perfect!And Ha Neul could you put your head on his shoulder....don't be afraid......yes just like that.Now Ha Neul look at me and Minho look at the sky.......oooooooh wow beautiful.''

And that's where she started painting and it surprised me how fast i saw her hand swipe on the canvas she looked like some kind of super robot.After ten minutes I started to blush when i realised  this was such a weird pose,a little too intimate.

''Yes,perfect Ha Neul,That blush really gives a glow to your face.You guys are like the cutest couple ever.I never thought of shipping the two of you but i think i'm going to, starting now.''She said when she glanced at us for a moment.

''W-we're n-not a couple.I s-swear,w-we're j-just f-fr-friends.''My voice became a little high because of my panic.

''OK,got that.But why  did you agree to pose like this in the first place then?Oh well it doesn't matter.Now that i've seen the two of you together.I going to start shipping you whether you're dating or not.''

I became even redder and moved my head a little to see what Minho thought of all of this.He was still looking at the sky his expression didn't seem like it changed.No..wait it looked like the corners of his mouth were....

''Done!''She yelled like an exited child ''Wanna see?''

''Of course i wanna see what i paid for.''Minho said grinning.I took my head of his shoulder as fast as i could and he got up to look at the painting.

''Waaaaah,you're amazing!!!''He said his eyes looked at the painting with alot of praise.

''I know.''She said satisfied.

I got up and went to see myself.And it was really beautiful even though she made a few adjustments.Like the fact that my hair wasn't straight but i had beautiful curls in a side pony,my lips weren't my natural pinkish colour but red, i head a red rose in my hand,my eyes had more twinkles in them and my lashes were longer.But the biggest diffrence was the fairytale concept that she used:She replaced the shop behind us with a garden that looked like those from a castle,the bench we were sitting on was now a prettier on from stone and we were not wearing our regular clothes but i was wearing a pastel yellow dress and he was wearing a suit that you only see princes on tv wear.

''I don't even know what to say right now.''I really was speechless,she made me look so pretty and if that's possible Minho even more handsome,He was honestly the  most handsome prince i had ever seen.

''It's alright,now there is one problem,only one of you can take the original one but one of you van make a copy for free,inside.''

''Ha Neul,I'll take the copy.''Minho smiled at me.

''But YOU paid for it.''

''Stop worriyng so much about the money,i like spending it on you.''

With that said ......uhm the painter woman (yeah i dont know her name) started squeeling like crazy.''I'm going to die.The first official MinNeul moment.Okay maybe i still need to work on the name.''She said and started scratching her head.

We got the copy, and she put it the two in two diffrent bags(good thing it's not a full sized canvas).

Minho and i stayed in the Side street wich was actually pretty big for about two hours.And i hate to admit it but he bought me alot of stuff.Whenever i would look at something for 2 seconds he would buy it for me.Wich makes me wonder how much this boy makes.He has way too much money to spend.But i couldn't refuse although i wanted to(no really i'm not a greedy materialistic person unlike most girls)because he looked so happy when he bought it for me.

I ended up with:

-a bracelet

-a bear

-a cap

-my fortune being told:Appperently love is right beside me.How cheesy and uncreative.She probably thought we were boyfriend and grilfriend.

-and a hairclip:A really pretty big one with pink and white (fake) diamonds on it,the kind you would wear on the red carpet or to a ball.Yeah i added fake just to be sure you weren't gonna accuse me of being a golddigger(wich i do feel like right now,but i never asked for any of those things,i swear,but he insisted.And everybody knows how stubborn Minho is).

I had a great time.But that was only because Minho kept me busy.After he took me back to our appartement and left.After Meeyon gave me a significant look and told me she would talk to me tomorrow and to go to bed.After i crawled into bed and my blanket covered me.And there was nothing to keep me busy anymore.

The tears started and the love pain crawled inside my heart.Why out of all people did i have to fall in love with:

Kim Jonghyun