Song Jieun continued looking to the ceiling of her bedroom and she didn’t know what she was supposed to think with all that was happening with in her, in her life. She wasn’t sure what was happening and she was sure that she was going to lose it, sooner or later, but for now, all she could do was think. She couldn’t understand how was possible for two men, two complete different men managed to get some interest in her. Interest to the point they kissed her and actually told her they want to be with her. What was wrong with those men? Really…She was a plain girl who had nothing to work for her. She wasn’t like Jeon Hyosung who was simply beautiful and graceful. She couldn’t understand why in the world would those two handsome, amazing and intriguing man could actually be so…caring and sweet towards her and why in the world they wanted to be with her and not with other girls in the first place. She couldn’t even get the lead in the play and yet, she was being overwhelmed by these feelings and she didn’t know how to react. It was all happening so fast and she was sure that one day, if things continued like that her head would explode.

“God I’m pathetic!” She whispered as she placed a pillow on top of her head. She was feeling so confused at that moment and to make everything worse, she had no idea what she was feeling for both men. At a first appearance Kim Sunggyu was this mean, cold man but he had showed her that he was actually very nice and caring man who showed that he did care for her, even if he was rather awkward doing so. But he was still cold with his words and didn’t show many emotions. Nam Woohyun on the other hand was this warm, happy virus who was always smiling to her, telling her how much he liked her, how much he wanted to be with her. He was very good with words when Kim Sunggyu was good with gestures. How could she choose? How could she control her feelings and how could she know which one she wanted? Because honestly, she had no idea who she loved, she had no idea who she wanted, she didn’t know. She…she didn’t know and it pained her.

“Jieun!” she heard her name being called. She tried to ignore by closing her eyes and pretending that she was asleep, even thought it was just 7PM. “Jieun!” she heard again, this time the sweet voice turned into something a little harsh and she knew she had to go to the living room before her mother lost her temper, like she always did. Slowly Song Jieun got up from her bed and grabbed her blue coat. It was cold, but then again, it was winter, so it was normal. She hated that piece of clothing, but her mother forced her to wear it, even thought she hated it. it made her look like she was 10 years old. Why couldn’t she wear clothes like…like Jeon Hyosung? Her best friend knew how to dress and she always looked like she had left a runway. Always looking wonderfully dressed from head to toe. She wanted to be like her best friend. She wanted to be like her, at least once. It wasn’t too much to ask for was it? No…she knew it wasn’t.

When she arrived to the living room, she saw her mother with her arms crossed and looking at her with a very serious face. This wasn’t good. Not at all. “Yes mother?” She asked as she placed herself in front of her mother. She saw her making a sing for her to sit in front of her. Song Jieun nodded and seat, not saying a single thing, not sure of what she was going to say, but from her mother’s face, it wasn’t going to be a pleasant conversation, she was sure of it, but she could be wrong. “I want to ask you” She started and Song Jieun continued looking to her mother without blinking. She was afraid that if she blinked her mother would see that as a sign of weakness or something like that. she knew it could be a stupid idea, but it was her mother, so she should expect everything and nothing at the same time.

“Why have you been getting home so late?” She knew it was too good to be truth. She was surprised that until now her mother didn’t ask a single thing about her late nights, but then again, she always thought that her mother believed it was late practices or something that involved dance. “I…I’ve been getting very intense practices…and I never catch the subway…the just last one.” It wasn’t entirely a lie actually. When it all started that was exactly what happened. She would leave practice so late that she had no choice but wait for the last train to go back home, but she was sure her mother wasn’t going to believe her. she was used to it. her mother never believed her, so she didn’t care anymore. If her mother believed great, if she didn’t, too bad. “Jieun, don’t make a full out of me.”

Her mother paused for an instant. “I’ve been calling the dance studio to know at what time you leave.” She what? This took the name control freak to a whole new level and Song Jieun couldn’t believe what she just heard. Was her mother insane? She couldn’t do things like that! She just couldn’t call the dance studio and ask whatever she wanted! “I know you’ve been leaving with a man every night! This is not how I raised y-“ Before her mother could even think about continue her speech, Song Jieun felt a fire inside her and she knew she had to speak before she lost it once and for all. “Stop it!” She said loud enough for everyone around the house to hear them. “You’re not my boss!” It was more than obvious than her mother was shocked with the way her sweet girl was answering and she didn’t know exactly how to react at that sudden change. “Excuse me? I’m your mother! I’ve the right to know what you do!” Song Jieun’s lips turned into thin lines and she didn’t know how to control her anger anymore. It had been building up for so long that she knew that it was a matter of time before she exploded, she just didn’t expect to explode at that moment.

“But that doesn’t give you the right to control me! It doesn’t give you the right to control who I see, who I meet, what I dress and what I eat!” it was more than obvious than her mother wasn’t liking where this conversation was going, but at that point she didn’t care. she had nothing to lose anymore, so what was the point. “I dress like a 12 year old! Every thinks that I’m some kind of retarded! I’m 23 years old! I should be living alone by now! I should control my own life instead of allowing you to choose everything for me!” Her mother glared at her own daughter but Song Jieun didn’t care. she felt so light as those words left her lips that she didn’t care about what her mother was thinking at that moment. She adored her mother, she did, but at the same time she couldn’t stand her anymore. She controlled every single thing she did. “It’s that Hyosung girl isn’t it? I always knew that she was a bad influence on you and on your dancing! And with that boyfriend who goes to clubs…they are bad for you!”

That comment made Song Jieun explode. Sure, sometimes she was jealous of her best friend, but Jeon Hyosung was indeed the most important person in her life and the best influence anyone could wish for! “You do not talk about my friends like that! Hyosung is a very humble woman and Dongwoo is the best man on the face of the earth and they are very kind to me!” She saw her mother roll her eyes and that only made her anger boil. “Hyosung always stole the leads from you! She probably slept with that instructor of yours to get them.” Her mother’s voice was low but was full of cruelty and Song Jieun had enough. Without saying a single thing she turned away and went running towards her bedroom, surprising her mother with the sudden action. “Jieun!” Her mother called but she ignored.

She opened her closet and from there she grabbed her black suitcase and opened it as fast as she could. She grabbed most of her clothes and threw them inside the black suitcase not bothering to make them look perfect like she always did. “Jieun what are you doing?” She heard her mother asking, almost shouting from her bedroom door. “I’m leaving this house! I’m leaving you!” Her mother was shocked with the sudden words and couldn’t believe what she was hearing. When Song Jieun walked towards the door, with her suitcase in her right hand, her mother grabbed her arm. Both looked at each other, and Song Jieun opened to see regret, but instead all she saw was…anger. Nothing else, not eve love. “If you go, you’ll never enter this house again!” She didn’t even think twice. She pulled away from her mother and almost ran outside. “Goodbye.” She said and left the house. She didn’t know where to go, she didn’t know what to do, but she didn’t care. She felt free and for that moment, it was all she wanted.