Song Jieun felt lost. She had no idea what to think and she had absolutely no idea what was happening to her. Her morning had been a complete mess. First Nam Woohyun says goodbye to everyone, then he tells her that she is in love with Kim Sunggyu. He said that she was completely in love with him but she couldn’t see it.

He said that she was mixing up feelings and that all she felt for him was sympathy and nothing else. While for Kim Sunggyu she felt like he was the man of her life. She just didn’t know about it. She didn’t felt like he was telling her. She didn’t felt like that, she didn’t. She knew about it. Who did Nam Woohyun think he was to tell her how she was feeling?

What the hell was he talking about? She wasn’t in love with Kim Sunggyu...but she wasn’t in love with Nam Woohyun either. She remembered the raven haired man tell her that it broke his heart knowing she would never feel the same way about him and that perhaps running away was the most cowardly thing to do. But did he care? No, not really. Instead of fighting for her, apologizing and making things better, he was just grabbing his things and leaving everything behind him. He was just leaving her without saying a single word. Without saying the words he should.

She didn’t know what to do, what to think and right now, all she could was stare. Stare to the white ceiling and wonder why in the world her head was such a freaking mess and why couldn’t she think properly.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to cry so she could feel better, so her heart would stop feeling so heavy, but at the same time, she couldn’t do it. the tears wouldn’t come and a part of her felt like it was completely useless to cry.  A part of her was saying that she shouldn’t even think about crying because it wouldn’t change a thing and in the end, she shouldn’t care if it changed things or not.

“Jieun!” She heard her name being called but didn’t move. Instead she kept on staring and thinking. “I came earlier today and brought us dinner.” She could hear the man walk around the house, but even with that she didn’t move. It was like just being there and existing was exhausting enough for her not to speak a single word.

Song Jieun could hear the steps coming closer to her room, but she didn’t even blink. Instead she placed her hands on top of her stomach and continued looking at the white ceiling.  “I hope that you like Chinese an-“She heard her bedroom door being opened at the same time the man stopped talking.

Instead of turning her head and look at the man like a normal person would usually do, she just kept on looking, like she was expecting something to happen. “…What happened?” He asked as he looked at her. He couldn’t help but notice that she was still wearing her dancing clothes and that her hair was still in a bun. It was like she was just having a rest from her dance practices. “…Nothing.” She said as she kept on looking to the ceiling and playing with her fingers.

The way she spoke made the man raise a brow. He was used to have Song Jieun quiet as a mouse, but the neutral tone of voice was just ridiculous. “Are you alright? You’re still wearing your dance clothes.” She just shrugged her shoulders and closed her eyes for a moment. The white ceiling was still the same and there was nothing that would change that. Not that she was expecting something to happen. “Jieun.” He called again, this time moving a little closer to her bed. He left the bedroom door open and continued staring at the girl that was just lying on her bed, with her eyes closed and the blankest expression in the world. Something felt wrong.

“What happened? You look…off.” That was probably the best way to describe how she looked right now. It was like her body was there but her soul had left her to wonder around, not saying when it was going to comeback.

Song Jieun took a long, deep breath but didn’t say a thing. Instead she placed her hands on her lower stomach and continued with her eyes closed. Needless to say the older man was worried. He didn’t really know how to react to be honest, but he decided to stay calm. He decided that he should stay quiet and let the young woman speak all she wanted, and even if she didn’t want to talk he would just stay in complete silence.

“Can I ask something?” She asked and the man nodded and looked at her, not really saying a thing. He knew the young woman couldn’t see him but he knew she understood her she could say whatever she wanted.  Song Jieun opened her eyes and looked back to the ceiling and took a long breath.

She felt like something was stuck inside and she couldn’t breathe properly. It actually hurt to do something so normal, something so easy and common. It was like it was the most painful thing in the world. “Why does it hurt? Why does it hurt when you think about someone else?” She asked and the man started chewing his lower lip. He knew where this conversation was going and he wasn’t sure if he liked, but even so, he decided to stay quiet and just let the girl speak.

“Why does it hurt when I remember his words of goodbye?” He asked and it was Kim Sunggyu’s time to close his eyes. He wasn’t sure of how to react or what to say actually, but he knew he had to say something, that he couldn’t just let silence take care of this one. “Perhaps…” he started but paused right away.

He knew the answer, he knew he had to give the answer, but it didn’t mean he liked it. on the contrary. He hated the reason why she was feeling like that and wished he was completely oblivious about the whole thing. “Let me ask you something….” She turned her head to the older man and waited for him to speak.

“Would you feel like that if it was me?” he started. “Would you feel this crushed, this disappointed if it was me who came to you and told you I was going to leave and never come back? Would you cry yourself to sleep if it was me who left your life forever?” He sounded angry, disappointed and hurt but his expression was blank, not showing any emotion, making Song Jieun a little confused.

She sat on the bed and kept her eyes on the older man who didn’t move a muscle when he felt her sit next to him in such a fast pace. “Why are you even asking something like that?” She asked with a shocked tone of voice. Not wanting to drag this any longer, Kim Sunggyu sat on the bed and looked right into the young woman’s eyes. She could see in his eyes he was really angry and about to explode, and yet, his face showed nothing.

“Just tell me, yes or no.” It wasn’t that hard. All she had to do was say yes or no. that was it. but the words wouldn’t come out. The words wouldn’t come out of and all she could do was stare at him. She opened to speak but closed it right away making the older man look down his legs.

He passed a hand through his hair and looked to her again. “We both know the answer is pretty clear.” Kim Sunggyu got up from the bed and she looked at him even more confused, not understanding what was happening. He looked back at her and just took a long breath. “You clearly just care about one person….and that person isn’t me.”

“That’s not true!” She said right away. He gave her a weak smile and tried his best not to break down in front of her. He was a man, and real men didn’t break down in front of other people, no matter what the reason was. “I care…for both of you!” She said but he didn’t believe her, not by a single second.

Looked in her eyes for a moment before he decided to talk. “….Clear your head…decide your feelings…because I can’t take this indecision anymore.”