Jongwoon’s POV

The filming for the rest of Strong Heart went by uneventfully. It became really awkward and the two MCs tried to avoid asking me further questions about “my” story. I couldn’t help but notice that Ryeowook stayed silent. He never said anything to anyone except when one of the MCs would talk to him.

The filming for Strong Heart ended and we were headed to our next schedule, dance rehearsals. We only had three days including today to learn the choreography and on Wednesday we would film the music video.

The car ride to the dance studio was quiet and awkward. Leeteuk wasn’t talking to manager hyung, Kyuhyun wasn’t playing anything, Eunhyuk was staring blankly out the window and Ryeowook refused to look at me or anyone.

“We’re here,” manager hyung said.

“Thank you,” we all said in unison, almost robotically.

Manager hyung gave a small nod and said to me, “Yesung... can I talk to you for a moment?”

Leeteuk, Eunhyuk, Kyuhyun and Ryeowook exited the van and head towards the dance studio.

“What was that about?” manager hyung said. He didn’t say anything else but it was obvious on what he meant.

I looked everywhere but at him. I didn’t know what to tell him because it’s not me who’s suffering. “I...I don’t know,” I told him honestly.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” he began to say. He was speaking quietly at first but his tone became louder almost as if he was angry with me. I looked at him shocked and he continued, “Tell me Yesung...what was that about?”

By now he was yelling at me. I blinked rapidly and gulped loudly. I became scared of manager hyung now. “Do you know what you just did...you brat? Why the hell did you do that?” he shouted at me.

 “Do you know how much damage your little story is doing to Super Junior... to your new album? Your story would be all over the news before 6 o’clock tonight. You are ruining Super Junior's image...you brat,” he yelled at me.

Oh... he was not worried about my health but for his job. He doesn’t care about us at all.

I stayed quiet and didn’t say anything. Manager hyung glared at me and yelled, “Aish... I don’t know what to do with you. Go to the studio and get out of my sight.”

I walked out of the van stunned at my conversation with our manager. I can’t believe that I almost thought that he would care about us... about me.

Once I got out, I saw Ryeowook’s figure, crouching at the bottom of the stairs near the entrance. Ryeowook was crouching where the van used to be, the place where our manager dropped us off.

I think he heard my conversation with our manager because he was crouched low on the ground and he was crying. He was crying nonstop in his crouching position.

I went up to him and tried to put my arms around him. Ryeowook immediately shook my arms off and looked at me with sad, bloodshot red eyes.

“Don’t touch me,” he said quietly.

I tried to put my arms around him again, trying to comfort him but he still shook my arms away.

“I said don’t touch me,” he yelled at me. His tears continued to fall. He looked so bad. He looked so fragile like a fragile butterfly with a broken wing. Ryeowook looked so frail, so broken.

I never heard Ryeowook yell at anyone before, never saw him get really mad at anyone. I saw him get mad but after a few minutes he would be back to his usual bubbly self, as if nothing happened.

I began to regret doing what I did. I just don’t want him to suffer anymore and I didn’t know how to help him. I thought that if he sees that his situation is serious that it would help him but its doing the opposite of what I expected. It’s tearing him apart.

“Ryeowook please let me explain,” I pleaded. I tried to hold on to him, tried to hold his hand but he flinched away before I even made contact.

“I told you don’t touch me,” he yelled again. He yelled so loud that people across the street were now noticing our presence.

“I’m sorry. I reall-“ I began to say. I tried to go closer to him again.

“Go away. Don’t ever talk to me. I don’t want to hear it. Go away,” he said as he kept on backing away.

I was trying to talk to Ryeowook when Leeteuk hyung came back and saw Ryeowook’s crying body.

Leeteuk hyung looked at me and said, “What happened?”

Leeteuk was hugging Ryeowook and the latter let his head rest on hyung’s shoulders.

I didn’t say anything for a while and said, “I don’t know.”

I tried to avoid Leeteuk hyung’s eyes but I could tell he was frustrated.

“What do you mean you don’t know Jongwoon? Please talk to me. I know that I’ve been a bad hyung to you but I want to help,” Leeteuk hyung pleaded as he held Ryeowook’s sobbing body in his embrace.

After we debuted, barely anyone called me Jongwoon except for Ryeowook. When he said my name, I could feel like he does care for me, almost like I do matter to someone.  When he said my name, it was almost like Yesung doesn’t exist; only Jongwoon does.

Then I remembered why Leeteuk hyung was worried. It wasn’t about me. It was about Ryeowook’s illness that I pretended that I have. Leeteuk hyung isn’t concerned about me; he is concerned about my illness. So he is concerned about Ryeowook not me.

I stayed silent once again and refused to say anything. I’ve done enough damage today and I don’t know how to tell Leeteuk hyung that it really is Ryeowook with this fatal disease but I couldn’t bring my mouth to open up and say those words.

Tears began to form around my eyes and could feel them fall slowly. “I’m sorry,” I managed to say. “I’m really sorry,” I said to no one in particular. I don’t know if I said it to Ryeowook or to Leeteuk or to both.

We stayed in front of the building for a while with Ryeowook and I crying, and Leeteuk hyung trying to comfort Ryeowook.

Leeteuk hyung was comforting Rywook by telling the latter some comfort words.

It wasn’t long until someone came down and this time it was Donghae who came down.

Donghae looked at us and said to no one in particular, “It’s not true... is it?”

Donghae then walked closer to me and asked, “Yesung, it’s not true right?”

I didn’t look at him and avoided eye contact.

“Yesung hyung,” he said. “Hyung... please tell me it isn’t true,” he pleaded.

I stayed quiet. My tears were slowing down but I saw that Ryeowook was still the same, it didn’t seem like his tears would slow down.

“I don’t think this will work. Donghae, go back upstairs and apologize to the choreographers. Tell them we can’t practice today. Also tell the other members upstairs that we are going back to the dorm. I’ll call manager hyung and ask him to cancel our schedules. I don’t think I can do Sukira today,” Leeteuk hyung said.

Donghae followed Leeteuk hyung’s order and went back upstairs. Donghae had tears falling from his face when he left.

After Leeteuk hyung told Donghae what to do, he called our manager and it seemed like they were arguing about something. Leeteuk hyung hung up and turn towards me saying, “We have to find our way back.”

“Deh?” I asked confused.

“Manager hyung said that he wouldn’t pick us up and that we should continue our schedule,” Leeteuk hyung said with a scowl on his face.

“Hyung... call Donghae and tell him that we should just follow our schedule. We have to continue our activities,” I argued.

“And do what? I’m sure that no one can concentrate. How can you easily say that? How can you act like nothing happened? I thought we’re like brothers. I thought we can go through our ups and downs not just the happy occasions but also share our troubles. I thought that we can depend on each other when we have a problem. How come you never told us anything? You think that we don’t care? We do. I do. You’re an important member in Super Junior. You’re our brother Jongwoon... you’re my dongseng. Please talk to me... deh? I really want to help,” Leeteuk said and for the first time I’ve been in Super Junior, I saw Leeteuk tear up.

Donghae came down with Sungmin, Kyuhyun, Eunhyuk, Siwon, Kangin, and Shindong.

Everyone was carrying their gym bags and I saw that the members have a sad expression that was shown in their eyes. Sungmin and Eunhyuk even had tears falling from their eyes.

“Guys... manager hyung said that he wouldn’t cancel our schedules,” Leeteuk hyung said.

“How can he say that?” Sungmin said with fresh tears falling from his eyes.

“Doesn’t he know the situation? Why can’t he cancel it?” Eunhyuk asked.

“Yesung are you feeling okay?” Shindong asked me directly.

“I’m sorry for making fun of you before. I didn’t know that you were suffering. I really regret the things I said and did to you Yesung... hyung. What are we going to do?” Kangin stated.

“What do you suggest we do?” Leeteuk asked everyone.

Everyone started to talk all at once except for Leeteuk, Ryeowook and I who stayed silent.

“Guys... guys... one at a time,” Leeteuk said.

“What do you suggest hyung,” Donghae said.

“I feel like we have to talk about this. I can’t think of anything other than not being there for Yesung hyung,” Sungmin stated with tears still falling from his face.

Everyone started to talk at once and agreed.

“Then it’s settled. We would go home and talk about this,” Leeteuk hyung said.

“How will we get home,” Siwon asked.

“We can take the bus,” Leeteuk said.

“How?” Kangin asked.

“I don’t know. We can take the taxi,” Leeteuk suggested.

“How?”  Siwon asked.

“We can ride in three taxis,” Leeteuk said.

Everyone agreed and Leeteuk hyung called for three taxis.

Everyone seemed to be interested in what I have to say and my story but the problem is that I don’t know what to say and this isn’t my story.

I glanced at Ryeowook’s way and saw that he seems exhausted. He stopped crying and he was leaning on Leeteuk hyung for support. I’m thankful that he could rely on Leeteuk hyung but couldn’t help but get mad and jealous that he wouldn’t lean on me for support. However I understand why. Ryeowook is mad at me and I caused him to be in this much pain he’s feeling.

I was trying to help but I did the opposite. I’m the one who’s causing him pain. I`m sorry Wookie...

A/N: I'm sorry for not updating lately. Thank you readers for reading this fic. Thanks silent readers for reading. 

@IFeelSoCool-Thank you so much for your comments. I hope that you like this update.

I know I keep thanking you for your support but thanks so much for your support. We were all affected by the shutdown but that’s okay... we’ll do fine, we’ll do better.  I hope that you got your karma points back.

Jongwoon doesn’t know what he got into... tsk tsk. Thanks for commentingJ

@Rirakuma- Even though I update slow, I hope that you would continue reading this story.

@YeCy_de_kim-  I’m glad that you don’t have any regrets reading my story. I hope that this update is satisfyingJ

I sorta made it a little bit more angsty-if that’s a word... kekekeke

@musicforlife92 - I’m glad you love itJ I’m trying to make them have a good relationship that doesn’t go too fast/too slow. Something that would mean something. If that makes sense :$

@KokoaLoV - Thank you. I’m glad you like it.

Me too. I want Jongwoon to confess to Wookie. I just don’t know when to do that especially with the mess the situation that recently happend...

@Krystalrocks - *high five* I like angst stories too. I made a little bit more angstyJ Hope this update was satisfying.

@Rainy_Days-  It’s okay... thanks for your consoling words. Each subbie and comments are precious no matter how many... right? Thanks for liking my story. I hope this update was satisfactory

@iva_sein- Thanks for your consoling words and thanks for liking my fic. It did cheer me upJ Thank you and hope you like this update

@yutarou - WelcomeJ New readers are always welcomeJ I’m glad you like Jongwoon and Wookie’s relationship. Wookwoon? Jongwook? Ryeowoon? Jongryeo? What should their couple name be? Lol

I hope so too. All I can say is that there is always a rainbow after each stormJ

@KimRiru - I hope so too but it was Jongwoon’s fault so Wookie had every right to get mad, especially since he trusted Jongwoon with his secret right? Thank for reading my ficJ

@mouj05 - I know right? He doesn’t but just like everyone in this world, we do things that we regret, even if it’s with the right intentions.