The past was always a sensitive topic for Ryeowook. The past were the days he wishes that he would just forget and live a brand new life. In a way, he was born again. In a way, he was living as a different person. But deep inside, he was always tortured. He was a poor and tortured soul that was trapped in a body with an amazing voice. How can this amazing vocalist have his voice considered as a curse than a gift?

He was smart. He was really smart but because of that voice he couldn’t ignore, he chose a different path... he became a singer. It was the same voice that haunts him… the same voice that keeps reminding him of his unfortunate past, his old self. It was the same voice that keeps reminding him that he’s fat… he’s ugly… he’s worthless. It was the voice that told him that the only good characteristic about him was the voice.

After creating his new image, Ryeowook finally shut that voice inside of him. The voice was satisfied and was now silent. After three months of pure torture, he was given a spot as a trainee.

Three months of his new intense diet, he managed to lose weight... 24 lbs to be exact. Three months in which Ryeowook spent his days only to constantly starve himself and would only eat when one of his family members begins to suspect. However, the food never stayed in the vocalist’s stomach, it came back up in a disgusting mess.

Two months after becoming a trainee, Ryeowook became a singer. He debuted with Super Junior with only two months of training. He debuted despite the small amount of training because of his voice… the curse of that amazing voice.

It’s been years since he had this disorder. Ryeowook’s family suspected that he had an eating disorder but Ryeowook always managed to cover it up. When they start to suspect again, he would eat in front of his family and would make himself puke out his food intake.

The other members don’t know about Ryeowook’s eating disorder except for one… Jongwoon. Jongwoon knew about it.

Ryeowook has been hiding this from the other members but failed to hide it from him. Jongwoon found out about Ryeowook’s eating disorder when the members celebrated their debut during their dinner. Ryeowook ate during dinner and celebrated their debut with the other members. When he got home, well his new home, he went to his room claiming he was tired and head straight to the washroom. Ryeowook made himself vomit his dinner.

Since it was urgent, Ryeowook forgot to lock the washroom door and Jongwoon caught him. Jongwoon was his roommate and he had to do his business in the washroom. Jongwoon didn’t know that Ryeowook was in the washroom. He found out about Ryeowook and since they were roommates, they talked about the struggles of debuting.

When Jongwoon asked Ryeowook what he was doing, Ryeowook instinctively denied it. Minutes passed and both members were just staring at each other, hoping that the other would back down. Ryeowook eventually gave in and decided to trust Jongwoon. He told Jongwoon about his past. He told Jongwoon about how he used to be fat and how the voice always haunts him. He told Jongwoon about the voice that always taunts him... taunts him about his fat body.

While Ryeowook was telling his story, Jongwoon just listened. He listened attentively to Ryeowook’s every word, his every detail. Jongwoon tried to comfort the hysterical boy beside him. He tried to compliment him only to be questioned by the other boy.

By now Ryeowook was crying and he questioned Jongwoon how would he know how it feels. He asked Jongwoon how he would know how it feels to be unappreciated, unloved, and unimportant. Jongwoon laughed humourlessly and told the hysterical boy that he knew. He knew those feelings since he too felt that while growing up.

Jongwoon told Ryeowook his story and how he was always made fun of by other students when Jongwoon still went to school. He told Ryeowook how he was never accepted anywhere and that the only good trait about him was his voice. Jongwoon told Ryeowook that sometimes he thinks of his voice as a curse. He told Ryeowook that he thinks of his voice as a curse because that’s the only thing good about him. He thinks that it was the only good thing about him and people still made fun of him for that too. Jongwoon explained that whenever he would sing, people would point at him and call him names. They would insult Jongwoon on how he was girly since he loves to sing more than play a sport. People would also call him weird, abnormal, and queer.

Jongwoon explained to Ryeowook why he wanted to have a stage name. He explained how whenever he was onstage, he felt like a different person. How nothing else mattered except for the song and him. Jongwoon explained that he was somewhat thankful for that curse. It made him forget his abnormalities and his unusual treasures.

He chose his stage name to be Yesung... which means “vocal cords of an artist”. He told Ryeowook why he felt like a different person onstage. It was because his voice was different from him. The voice is Yesung and he was Jongwoon. Jongwoon was just the face for the true talent inside of him which was the voice he now calls Yesung.

The two roommates talked all night after their official debut. They were sharing their life stories. They shared their struggles, their ambitions, and their greatest fears. They both agreed that their voice was their greatest fear. They hate having an amazing voice. They both wondered how their life be if they didn’t have this. Would they still be made fun of, insulted, and feel unloved if they had the voice or would it be different for them?

Up until now, Ryeowook still struggles with his eating disorder. It was harder for him to constantly binge and eat especially living in a dorm full with guys. It was harder to hide his secret. However, Jongwoon was always with him. He helped Ryeowook even though he was against it. He knows Ryeowook’s weakness and tries to persuade the latter that he doesn’t need to change... that Ryeowook was amazing just the way he is.

Ryeowook was still insecure with himself despite the fact that he wasn’t going through this alone, now he had Jongwoon. But what can he do when his enemy was his self. What can he do when the faceless enemy constantly reminds him of his past... of his countless imperfections?

Seven years later and his feelings for his sensitive roommate grew. Ryeowook’s feelings for Jongwoon bloomed and he was still unsure how to confess to the latter. He knows that Jongwoon shares the same feelings but both of them are cowards and don’t know how to confess to the other, especially since they were now known throughout Asia as Super Junior members. Both vocalists try to express their feelings through fan service but... nowadays it’s just not enough. They would worry on how would ELF respond? Would they still support Ryeowook and Jongwoon if they became together? How about Ryeosomnias and Clouds? Would they support the couple if they became together or try and separate them?

These types of things surrounds Ryeowook's every thought... that and the constant growling of his empty stomach. His eating disorder came back. He was still feeling insecure, even after all those years of eating healthy... his eating disorder came back. The only difference now is that the voice would about being a coward for not confessing. The voice would keep on adding new insults for him that would trigger his constant need for control. The only way he found that he could control was starving, binging, and purging.