Ryeowook's POV

Siwon’s cottage, or should I say mansion, is huge. It’s just as big as our two dorms combined, maybe bigger.

Jungsoo hyung was driving towards the cottage and passed by a small garden near the cottage. The small garden that leads to the cottage is beautiful. Maybe the change in the scenery can help clear my mind a bit.

Jungsoo hyung assigned us our roommates for the 3 days we were on the cottage for. Everyone scattered and looked for their rooms. Some members were living on the upper level of the cottage while the other members stayed on the main floor.

I was sharing a room with Jongwoon hyung, not that I mind, I like sharing a room with him, but ever since the Strong Heart incidence, we’re not really in the best of terms. Hopefully we could get back to being on good terms soon.

Jongwoon hyung and I reached our room on the east wing of the house. Our room was next to Jungsoo and Youngwoon hyung.

Even though we were sharing a room, the room was huge. It’s almost like two rooms combined, maybe a bit less than two rooms, but it was still big. There was a queen sized bed on one side and there was a mini love seat by the window.

Once we entered the room, I heard Jongwoon hyung mutter, “I can sleep on the floor.”

Is he out of his mind? We’re roommates back in our dorms and now he wants to sleep on the floor? He is definitely strange.

“Stop being ridiculous. We’re not strangers,” I said as I sat on one side of the bed.

I stretched my arms and briefly lay down on the bed before I sat back up. I looked at Jongwoon hyung and patted the space on the bed next to me. “Sit,” I said.

He complied and sat next to me. I gave him a slight nudge as I said, “Move a bit.”

He complied once again as he moved a bit to the side. I laid my head on his lap as I let my feet dangle at the sides of the bed. I think he understood what I wanted because within a few moments, he readjusted his position once again and was now sitting on the farthest side of the bed. I readjusted my position so that only a bit of my feet were dangling the side of the bed. I took his hands and my hair with our hands being intertwined with each other.

I let my eyes close and all I could hear was our steady even heartbeats in sync with one another. Thump…thump…thump…

“Don’t stop hyung. Keep my hair,” I said as I continued to my hair using our intertwined hands.

I think I began to drift off for a few seconds and Jongwoon hyung was the one my hair because our hands was still my hair even after I stopped moving it. I don’t know how long he my hair or how long we stayed in that position but our moment was interrupted by the knock on the door.

Jongwoon hyung laid my head on the bed and opened the door.

“Wook… Woon… Siwon, Shindong, Hyukjae and Donghae started to prepare dinner and the rest of the members would be in charge of grilling the meat. Would you help us?” I heard Youngwoon hyung’s voice inform Jongwoon hyung.

“Yeah…sure. I’ll be there hyung but Ryeowook’s sleeping,” Jongwoon hyung replied in a hushed tone.

“I’m awake,” I announced.

“Okay…we’re grilling the meat outside in the yard,” Youngwoon hyung said as he closed the door.

“You should continue to sleep if you’re tired,” Jongwoon hyung said as he approached me and my hair.

I got up and stretched for a few seconds before saying, “I wasn’t sleeping. I was just resting…. It was comforting.”

I continued to stretch. After I stretched, Jongwoon hyung held my hand as we head out the door. “Come on let’s go,” he said as we head out the room and towards the kitchen.

This isn’t the first time that he’s held my hand. Hell… we even kissed before. But something feels different, I’m just unsure of what it is. Of course I love him, there’s no doubt about that. But I could say the same thing towards the other members. I love Super Junior and as we’ve always told our fans, our friendship is almost like a family, maybe even closer than that.

When we first heard of the different pairings in Super Junior, we were surprised but we just went along with it. I don’t know how ELF did the pairings but they usually paired us with someone that they see us with a lot. The company encouraged us to be continue the fan service because it helped with our popularity.

I didn’t see anything wrong with it because, it was fun and it helped Super Junior in terms of getting closer together. Most of the pairings have a platonic relationship like the rest of us have with other members.

There are certain pairings that are romantically involved with each other that was no different with a couple. When Hangeng hyung filed the lawsuit, it was heartbreaking to see Heechul hyung not being himself when Hangeng hyung left.

After all these years, they’re still going strong. They encountered many hardships and had a really bumpy road in their relationship, but they managed to maintain their long distance relationship. Heechul hyung called us a few weeks ago and he said that Hangeng hyung even visited Heechul hyung in the military.

When Hangeng hyung told us that he was filing a lawsuit against the company, Heechul hyung was about to follow Hangeng hyung with the lawsuit. Hangeng hyung was the one who convinced Heechul hyung to stay.

There’s also Hyukjae hyung and Donghae. They recently confessed to each other and to us after our last Super Show 4 concert this past May.

We had a mini party at the 12^th floor dorm after the last Seoul Super Show concert. We finished the concert pretty late but we just wanted to celebrate the end of another successful tour and the return of Youngwoon hyung.

I remember Jungsoo hyung stocking up soju and beer on his floor that week. The members who lived in the 12^th floor planned the party. They bought the food and stowed it in the fridge before we went to the concert venue.

Jungsoo, Jongwoon, Youngwoon, Shindong, Sungmin, Hyukjae, Zhou Mi, Donghae, Siwon, Ryeowook, Kyuhyun and Henry went to the 12^th floor after the Super Show.  The dorm got pretty loud considering that there were 12 drunk and slightly drunk men in one floor.

I remember playing Spin the Bottle that night and during Hyukjae’s turn, he had the choice of kissing the person he was commonly paired with by the fans or choose truth.

He chose truth. The person who went before him, Kyuhyun, asked Hyukjae if he had non-platonic feelings towards Donghae. Hyukjae hyung kissed Donghae on the lips instead and avoided answering the question. But during Donghae’s turn, he chose truth and Siwon asked the same question Kyuhyun did but instead of kissing Hyukjae, Donghae confessed to Hyukjae.

Then there’s us. Jongwoon and Ryeowook. Our fans ship us as Yewook but that’s not right. The person who’s my best friend is not Yesung, it’s Jongwoon hyung. Whether he sees me as his best friend or not, I consider him as my best friend.

Jongwoon hyung confessed that he told my story in Strong Heart for the right intentions, but I know his story and understand why he continued with the act. I don’t hold grudges over something trivial like that. Besides, I cannot find it in me to stay mad at anyone for a long period of time… especially him. Even though I didn’t necessarily tell him that I forgave him already, I know that he knows that he’s forgiven.

I love Super Junior. You can’t really choose your family, they just appear in your life.  Just like family, I didn’t really choose the members, together we became Super Junior… a family. They care and love me like real family just like I care and love them wholeheartedly. I hate having lied to them after all these years. I tried to get over it by myself but I guess it was out of my control.

However with Jongwoon hyung, something feels different. I do love him like my own brother, but there is something more to it. I don’t quite know what it is but I think I’m developing non-platonic feelings towards him.