Once they arrived at the studio, the Super Junior members were led to their dressing room so the stylists could quickly put make up on the members and change their outfits more suitable for filming.

Since it wasn’t an MV shooting or anything that requires too much preparation, all five members were done in just a matter of thirty minutes. If it was an MV shooting, a CF, or any type of photo shoots, it would take thirty minutes or more to prepare just one member. But since it was just a simple filming for Strong Heart, the members didn’t need to go through too much prep for the schedule.

Anyways, it was almost 11 o’clock and it was almost time for filming. It takes about 2 hours to film, so they were scheduled to be done around 1 pm.

Ryeowook was sitting in front of the mirror waiting for the backstage crew to call them in the studio for filming.

All he could see was his countless imperfections. He was fat. He was ugly. He was everything that the voice accused him of being. He was everything a person would never want to be. He was imperfect in more ways than one.

His voice is the only thing that made him someone worthy of being someone. His voice is the only thing that made him famous. His voice is the only thing that made him worthy of being a part of Super Junior.

As Ryeowook looked at his reflection, that was all he could see. He could only see his countless imperfections. He could see what he got because of the voice... he has everything. He has everything and yet he feels worthless. He feels worthless because none of this is his. Everything that he has is because of his voice. His voice made it possible for him to have everything that he has.

Ryeowook was still staring at his reflection blankly when someone’s figure showed in the image reflection in front of him. It was Jongwoon.

“Hey... Wookie. What were you thinking about that you were dozing off,” Jongwoon asked him.

Ryeowook made himself have smile even with a heavy heart which made his smile look forced and fake. “I don’t know Jong. Nothing I guess,” he replied.

Jongwoon knows when something is wrong and when Ryeowook starts to lie more and more it means that something really is bothering the younger.

“Wookie... you know that if something’s bothering you that you can talk to me right? You can tell me anything when you’re ready Wookie,” Jongwoon said.

“I-” Ryeowook began to say.

“Super Junior members... please go to the main studio now. Filming will start in five minutes,” one of the staff informed them.

“Can we talk later? Can you tell me what’s bothering you Wookie?” Jongwoon asked the younger member.

“You said you were going to tell me something before,” Ryeowook replied.

Jongwoon tried to remember what he was going to tell Ryeowook and said, “Yeah... I’ll tell you later. We sort of don’t have time to talk now and this is sort of not the place to talk about it openly. There are too many ears listening. But can you please tell me what’s bothering you?”

“Ryeowook... Yesung, hurry up! Let’s go! We need to go now,” Leeteuk scolded the two.

“Later,” Ryeowook just said and followed the other members.

Jongwoon was about to protest but followed the other members as well.

The main studio that Strong Heart was being filmed wasn’t that far. It was in the same floor but in a much bigger room. It probably took half of the floor and each floor in the building was huge.

Anyways, there were other guest stars. There were even a couple members who were in the same company as them. Krystal and Amber from fx; Taeyeon, Tiffany and Seohyun from Girls’ Generation were also guest stars.

There were also idols from other companies too. Seungri and GD from Big Bang were there and Kim Hyun Joong from SS501 was also there.

There were other guest stars too but Krystal, Amber, Taeyeon, Tiffany, Seohyun, Seungri, GD, and Kim Hyun Joong were the only other idols that were guest stars... well except for the other Super Junior members.

The members greeted the other guests and sat next to each other.

The two MCs were Lee Seung Gi and Kang Ho Dong. The beginning of the show went by uneventfully and the MCs were just introducing the guest stars for the show.

Lee Seung Gi was now explaining how Strong Heart works for the new viewers. He explained how Strong Heart`s guests will tell a story and whoever tells their story the best will win.

“Okay... so now that everything is good, let’s start. Who would be our first victim,” Ho Dong said which made everyone laugh. No one wanted to go first.

“Wait hold on,” Lee Seung Gi said. “Super Junior is releasing their 6^th album next month.  Their album is called y Free and Single. Congratulations,” Lee Seung Gi continued.

“Kamsamnida,” Leeteuk, Jongwoon, Eunhyuk, Ryeowook and Kyuhyun said at the same time.

“Before we start why don’t you tell us what the fans should anticipate for the new album,” Lee Seung Gi continued.

“Deh... The album would be released on July 4 and the title track is called y Free and Single. Kangin recently came back from the military and is participating in the album. This would also be my last album before I get enlisted to the military,” Leeteuk said.

“Ah... okay. So this album has a bittersweet feeling right? This being your last album before your enlistment, this is your first album without Heechul, and this is also Kangin’s first album coming back from his military duty. Well... congratulations,” Ho Dong said.

“Is there anything you want to tell your fans to anticipate for?” Lee Seung Gi said.

“Deh... there is a song called From U which is dedicated to all ELFs,” Leeteuk added.

“Aww... I’m sure ELFs would anticipate that. So our topic for today is when the most difficult time you faced was. It’s up to you if you want to share your story. If not, then you can just share any memorable memories that you have during your trainee days,” Ho Dong explained.

“Can I tell my story?” Jongwoon was sort of hesitant to say.

“Of course you can. You can be the first victim for today,” Ho Dong said which made the guests laugh and sigh in relief.

Jongwoon wrote the title of his story on his mini blackboard. He turned it around and showed the title. It said, “Starving for Perfection”.

Everyone looked at Jongwoon with curiosity shown in their eyes.

“Starving for Perfection?” Lee Seung Gi asked Jongwoon.

“Deh... Before I made my debut with the other members, before I even became a trainee... I used to be chubby. I was a little bit fat but I wasn’t that big. Many people made fun of me and called me fat. Whenever I looked in the mirror, all I could see were imperfections. People would tease me and call me ugly and fat. So that became the image I saw myself. I saw myself as a fat and ugly person. I had enough of people calling me names so I decided to change my image. I began to have a strict diet where I wouldn’t eat for days and would only eat when someone would suspect. Before I debuted, I managed to lose weight and kept it off. Up until now I’m struggling with food,” Jongwoon said.

It was quiet now. Jongwoon could hear people crying and he was afraid to look at Ryeowook. He looked for Ryeowook and saw him crying with Ryeowook’s hands covering the latter’s face. He was sobbing and Jongwoon was the one who made Ryeowook cry.

Even Lee Seung Gi cried after hearing the story. He has been an MC for a couple of years and he hasn’t cried over someone’s story... until now.

Kang Ho Dong’s eyes were watery but he managed to be calmer than the rest of the guests. “It looks like none of the members knew about this. Is that why you cried Leeteuk?” Ho Dong asked.

Leeteuk ignored Ho Dong’s remark and approached Jongwoon. “Is that true Yesung? How come you never told us about it?” Leeteuk asked Jongwoon.

Jongwoon looked at Ryeowook and the latter still had his hands covering his face. Jongwoon turned to look back at Leeteuk and said, “I don’t know. I just didn’t know how to tell you guys.”

“Excuse me... but can we stop here? Can you edit it out or something,” Ryeowook managed to say through cracked voice.

“I don’t think we can do that. We can move on though,” Ho Dong answered since Seung Gi was still not ready to talk.

“Um... excuse me but is it okay if we stop filming for five minutes or have a lunch break before continuing?” Leeteuk asked the MCs.

Lee Seung Gi was gained his composure and asked the PD of the show, “Is that okay?”

The PD nods his head and agreed to have their lunch break earlier than scheduled.

Some guests remained where they were while others stood up and walk towards Jongwoon. They were huddling around him asking him if it was true or not. The other guest stars then asked Jongwoon if he was fine now.

Leeteuk said, “Not to be rude or anything but can you give him a little space?”

The other guests nod their head in understanding and walked out of the studio and have their lunch break.

Eunhyuk asked Ryeowook if he was going outside and ask Jongwoon what was going on. Ryeowook just replied that he knew about it and that Ryeowook was giving Jongwoon space.

Meanwhile, Leeteuk and Jongwoon head outside to talk.  Ryeowook remained where he was while Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun head outside with Leeteuk and Jongwoon.

In reality, Ryeowook stayed where he was because he had a lot on his mind. He had many thoughts going through his head and he needs time to process what just happened.

He was mad at Jongwoon for telling his story. He was mad at Jongwoon for revealing his secret to everyone. He was mostly angry at Jongwoon for revealing his secret but what Ryeowook doesn’t understand is why Jongwoon would pretend that it was him who had the eating disorder and not him.

Jongwoon’s POV

Oh my God! I can’t believe I just did that. I don’t even know why I said Ryeowook’s secret. Would he hate me now? I would be angry if he told anyone my secret, about my past. But it was for Ryeowook’s own good. Someone has to hear how bad his condition is. If I have to pretend that I’m the one who is ill, then fine. I’ll pretend that I have the eating disorder. However... this has to stop. I won’t let him suffer anymore. I won’t let him suffer alone anymore. If he’s starving himself to aim for perfection, then so am I. I’ll go through this with him. I don’t know how this would go but I will help you Wook. I will help you the right way. I will help you get better and let you see your true self. I will let you see that you don’t need to change, that you are perfect just the way you are.

Leeteuk hyung asked for an earlier lunch break and we were headed somewhere to talk. Some guest stars were already out and they were already heading out towards their lunch break. I sort of felt bad when they approached me asking me if I was fine when I wasn’t the one with the problem. I couldn’t help but see Ryeowook at his seat crying. I don’t know why he was crying but he never looked at me or looked at anyone else. He just had his head buried on his hands.

I’m sorry Wookie. I really am but this is for your own good.

We were walking and we found a dressing room near the filming studio was. We head inside and they were just looking at me.

Leeteuk, Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun were just looking at me, as if they were expecting me to explain or even talk first. They didn’t look at me accusingly but they were just looking at me with concern filled eyes.

“I don’t know what to say or to tell you guys,” I told them honestly.

“Are you okay now?” Leeteuk managed to ask before tears well up in his eyes again.

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly.

“What do you mean I don’t know,” Eunhyuk whispered through cracked voice. He was now bawling and his eyes were tearing up non-stop.

“I honestly don’t know,” I repeated.

“How long has it been?” Leeteuk asked.

“Before our debut,” I answered.

I looked up at them and saw their shocked faces. Even Kyuhyun had tears gathering around his eyes.

“That long?” Kyuhyun asked.

I nod my head.

“I’m really sorry Yesung. I’m sorry I didn’t know. I should’ve known but I didn’t notice I’m sorry,” Leeteuk apologized to me.

I really hated lying to them. I hate telling them that I had the eating disorder when Ryeowook was the one who was really suffering from this disease. I wanted to tell them that the one who needs our help right now is the one who was sitting alone in the studio. I wanted to tell them but I can’t... I won’t. I think I can help Ryeowook this way. I will help him get better. If this is the only way then so be it.

A/n: I sort of changed the path of the story. I give up. I can't wrap this up in the next chapter so this isn't only 5 chapters. It will have more. How much more I don't know. OTL so sorry. I really thought that this would be a oneshot... then a threeshot... then a multi chaptered fic... now it's longer. I'm really sorry. Hope you like it. Don't forget to leave a comment:D