"It is the broken alabaster jar that brings forth perfume." 

- Beauty for Ashes by Mary Anne 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time passed by so quickly, Seungho didn't notice that he just finished his first week back at work. It was a Saturday, but he woke up at 6:30 am...

 

He just finished his coffee, dressed and ready for his routine Saturday morning jog. He was planning on how to get to a ceratin park outside the city, the one his attending nurse referred to. She said it was a breathe-taking park just 20 minutes outside the city, and he thought he'd see the place himself.

 

The cab dropped him off in the nature park entrance where a 'Welcome' sign embossed in a stone greeted him. It was an ordinary park with benches on each side of an unpaved road. Tssss....what's so special about this place? He thought. He continued to walk along the path bordered by pine trees as he scan the area. Thirty meters from the entrance was a fork in the road – one going to the left, and another to the right. No signs whatsoever to tell him what awaits at the end of each road. He chuckled a bit, as he was reminded of his own life situation – chosing a path whose ends are but uncertain...

 

"Because it's a brain tumor, all of our options can only help heal the tumor but cannot guarantee cancer remission. Although it's a Grade 2 tumor, your prognosis will still depend on how your body responds to the treatment. If you become cancer-free, there is no guarantees that the disease won't recur. Given all these cons, our best option is still to undergo treatment. I just want you to know the possible outcomes if you decide to undergo treatment. If you don't, then you'll probably have about 3-4 months to live, 5 months the most." Silence..."Your choice."

 

These were the options/conditions presented to him by his Oncologist a week ago. He asked the doctor to give him more time to figure out things. 

 

And now, given another fork in the road to challenge, he just opted for the road to the right without giving much struggle. 'It'll be one adventure I'll probably enjoy...' he thought as a wave of excitement hit him as he ventured on this new challenge. He walked along a the slightly dim path (due to the forest canopy), trying to enjoy the scenery of pine trees, nature's breeze and various sound of nature surrounding him. Seeing just a straight and smooth path ahead of him, he walked with eyes closed and arms raised, allowing the wind to touch every centimeter of his skin, as if savoring fresh air for the first time. He inhaled deeply allowing the fresh air to soothe his airway and his lungs, allowing his tissues to savor the freshness for 10 seconds, before he breathed out. He smiled as he opened his eyes, enjoying this new experience he had. He continued to walk, dancing to beat of the song playing on his ipod with his earphones stuck on both ear canals. About 10 meters ahead, he saw a bright light at the end of the path. His curiosity made him walk faster, until he reached the end:

 

a cliff overlooking the mountain ranges.

 

His mouth opened a bit out of adorement to the scenery before him. He hasn't seen anything as grand as this: mountain ranges full of luscious greens in various shades, with clumps of reds, ornages and maroons in several spot. The rays of the sun hitting each surface provided the best light source to accentuate its elegance.

 

He let out a big smile, took a deep breathe, and let out a loud scream

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” He was ecstatic as he let every bit of emotion out of him.

 

“YANG SEUNGHO! DON'T GIVE UP JUST YET! LIFE STILL HAS LOTS OF BEAUTIFUL THINGS TO OFFER!”

 

A tear left his left eye as he gave comforting words to himself.

 

He was carrying the burden of dying on his own.

 

He didn't want to bother anyone, especially his dad who seemed to be content and happy with his new family.

 

I was doing fine for the past 4 years of my life...I know I can do this.

 

He continued to coax himself into going into the Cancer challenge on his own, very confident that since he can support himself financially through chemotherapy, he'll be cured in no time; although he knows for a fact that the doctor doesn't give him any guarantees of complete healing after the treatment.

 

If things would go as I wanted them to, then everything will go as planned. Once I recover from this godforsaken disease, I'll get married, have my kids, and live a full life. Don't worry Yang Seungho, you're young and strong. You can handle anything! 

 

At the back of his mind, he knows that there are just some things that are out of his control and the course of events may change. But he thought he just have to have faith on himself; because if he doesn't, he'll loose the only hope he was clinging unto - his own physical and emotional strength – and he'll end up loosing the battle. This is one battle he doesn't want to loose. 

 

I am the conqueror of my own will!

 

He sighed deeply then smiled. This surely helped him to reinforce himself.

 

 

 

 

 

I never thought I'd enjoy this much seeing the beauty of nature. He thought.

 

He didn't know he had this cheesy, nature-loving side of him. The Seungho he knew for the past 4 years was too carefree and too dependent to the city life:

Whenever he felt down or depressed, he'll call his party buddies, go club-hopup ping  and hook up with girls. Being intoxicated allowed him to put his depression and frustrations aside without bothering other people. He thought he's showing a stronger side of him, dealing with difficult situations on his own. It boosts his ego, knowing that instead of being a burden to other's, he becomes a source of 'life' to others by being the party mood-setter. And if being intoxicated is not enough, he'll pleasure himself with a wild one night stand with a woman he met at the bar. For Seungho, problems – may it be as serious as loosing the one he loves so much or as petty as getting robbed - are but just temporary with always a quick fix. Of course, he can't avoid being frustrated every once in a while. So he made it a point not become too attached to things and people in his life, or else he'll end up sulking in depression; he thought he'll always end up at the loosing end. So now he is very careful on trusting others with his life. No one's going to love and care for him more than his mother did. He didn't want to go through another devastating episode of loosing someone... 'It's the kind of pain I don't want to deal with again...That would be fatal.' He thought. And with that, he didn't want to take the risk of being too intimate - relationshipwise - to someone again.

 

 

 

But after he almost lost life in the accident and learning about his disease, he wanted to take things a bit slow. He had a sudden desire to re-structure his principles in life.  He wanted some inner peace. And surely, this event helped him accomplish a step towards achieving that goal.

 

 

 

 

 

He took a deep breath and started walking back. His heart was fluttering. He surely had a great time. He scanned through his ipod, looking for a playlist that will suit his mood, when he bumped into someone. The impact was so strong he fell on his . He looked at that someone, who is now kneeling in front of him with arms leaning on the ground and trying to catch her breathe. He stood up, cleaned his , approached the woman and tapped her shoulder, “Hey, are you alright?” The woman gave her a fierce look and to both their surprise, they exclaimed,

 

“YOU?!”

 

It was Eunji, who was running backwards for some odd reason.

 

“God, I'm so sorry!” She said, as she stood up, brushing off the dirt in her , palm and knees.

 

“Are you alright?” She said, brushing off the dirt in Seungho's shirt..

 

“I didn't notice someone was here, I- Oww..” She winced in pain as she stepped closer to Seungho. She looked at her knee and saw a long lacerated wound surrounded by scratches.

 

“Tssss...Look at you! C'mon, take a seat...” he held unto Eunji's arm as he helped her walk towards the bench.

 

 

 

He took the bottle of water from her and poured the water on her wound, dabbing Eunji's towel in her knee to clean up the wound.

 

“Ooww...careful please..” Eunji winced as she remarked with a soft voice at Seungho, who was focused on her wound.

 

Seungho glanced at her and smirked, Look at this woman, where did all her fierceness go?

 

Eunji looked at him, and with a frown in her face remarked “What are you smiling at?”

 

“Mmm, nothing...Just wondering where the lioness Eunji went..” then he chuckled.

 

“Yah!” she slapped his shoulder, which made him laugh...

 

He then dabbed her wound dry, then sat beside Eunji.

 

“I'm sorry.” Eunji's voice was soft and gentle, which made Seungho surprised.

 

He faced her and looked her deep in the eyes. “Tell me the truth. Where is the real Eunji?”

 

“Stop it already! I'm serious!” She said, then she gave him a smile.

 

Seungho just stared for 3 seconds as he watched the sunrays illuminte Eunji's face, highlighting her smile. He felt his heart skip a beat with the view, then smiled.

 

He sat next to Eunji and lay his hand at the back rest. He let out a deep sigh then looked up in the sky.

 

“It's a great day isn't it?” he closed his eyes and tilted his head backwards.

 

Eunji tilted her head up and looked at the sky as well. “And this is the best place to spend it.” 

 

A minute of silence as they both enjoyed the view.

 

“It's the first time I saw you here. How did you know about this place?” Eunji returned her eyes back to Seungho.

 

“One of my attending nurses told me about this place. She said it'll be a good place to unwind, so I thought I'd go visit. And it didn't disappoint me.” He said, with his eyes still closed.

 

They just there in silence, Seungho just resting his exhausted body and Eunji waiting for his next move.

 

Eunji started to feel awkward, so she stood up and was about to leave when Seungho grabbed her arms.

 

“Where are you going? Don't tell me you'll run with that injury on your knee? Why don't we go get some breakfast somewhere? “ He said with a smile.

 

“No thank you, I had coffee this morning already.”

 

“Please? I don't know this place, maybe you can show me around.” Seungho insisted.

 

“I'm not familiar with the place either. Sorry.” Eunji tried to get her arms out of Seungho's grip. 

 

“Maybe you can just drive me home?”

 

“Uhm, yea sure.” It's difficult to get a cab from where they were and he said it was his first time in the place, so she agreed to take him home. And since her knee was hurting, she just decided to sit down for a while.

 

 

“You come here often?” he asked.

 

“Not really, just when I want to be myself and think.” Eunji responded, looking down to the ground.

 

“Hmm...I see...So does that mean you're troubled right now? Is that a boy problem?” he said as he chuckled like a kid.

 

Eunji got irritated by his childishness and remarked, “You're such a kid Yang seungho! When are you gonna grow up?” She sounded offended.

 

“I was just playing with you! Why do you get easily irritated all the time?!” he said, poking her shoulder as he smiled at her, as if mocking her.

 

“It's because of you and your childish acts! God Seungho! You're what, 26 years old and you still act like a teenager!” She brushed his hand away as she looking away from his face, too irritated to even look at him.

 

“Sorry!” he put both his hands up, signaling her that he was backing away. Her words gave him goosebumps, because he knows its true.

 

“Act your own age!” She stood up then marched towards the exit where her car is parked.

 

Seungho sighed as he watched her leave. When she was just 2 meters away, he stood up and followed her up to her car.

 

As Eunji opened the car's door in the driver's seat, Seungho grabbed the keys from her hand, held her shoulder then walked her towards the passenger's seat.

 

“You stay right here, I'll drive.”

 

She didn't retaliate. Her knees hurt a lot.

 

When Seungho sat on the driver's seat, he looked at Eunji and gave her a big smile. “I'm sorry. I promise I'll behave from now on.”

 

Eunji looked at him back, and made a sarcastic smile towards him. “Just drive.” she said then looked out the window.

 

And so it was a long and quiet drive back to the city.

 

 

 

 

 

 

________

 

Hi guys! Sorry it took me a while to update... Exams are comming up, so i had tons of things to do last week.

Anyway, as you noticed, Seungho is a bit dramatic in this fic. Sorry I wasn't able to warn you about all his drama in the description of the story. :)

I still hope you're enjoying this fic, especially the Seungho-Eunji moments :)