WHAT IS THIS?

WHAT THE HECK IS THIS? *looks around confusedly*

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? *frantic eyes*

It's an update for GUARDIAN! Praise the lord I got my inspiration back! Whoop whoop!

Okay, so start bricking me now. *buried under a mountain of bricks*

*pops out of Brick Mountain* Okay, so I know I promised to update UTCOU, NLUTCOU (my other ongoing fic about you/Exo) but I decided since I had most of this chapter written, I'd post this one instead. Please forgive me for the late update for UTCOU, NLUTCOU (I'm going revise it soon). It will be this week, but not tomorrow (I think).

Pretty please, COMMENT FOR THIS STORY! I miss reading comments for this story.

I still don't have a new laptop. I'm poor .__. (LOL, I've been telling my friends that.)

I have about three ongoing school/church projects due somewhere at the end of this month and I need my bro's computer. Sigh, more author-nim-ninja-sneaking-into-her-brother's-room-time.

I might update for this fic again this week because I couldn't just leave you hanging after about 3 months of not updating. *whacked with newspaper*

Anyway! Thank you for being patient! I hate this year of my life, but if it wasn't for EXO, I would've been in a crazy ward by now (JK).

Wow, I'm in a joking mood despite my curfew's in twenty minutes.

And so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EXO-M'S LEADER KRIS (KREEEEEEASE). Ayo wassup, Duizhang? Sorry I didn't post this earlier, but best wishes to you and your family and group and be happy and healthy and keep being awesome and cool and don't let anything stop you towards your dream. WO AI NI! (P.S. I like your pet plushie alpaca, Ace. It's so adorbs. <3)

Red is in Mandarin and green is Japanese.

Read on (I know you miss it) my lovelies. <3

(Alaina's POV)

I wondered if it was just me, but...the she-demons were people-person.

Only to a human's calculations though.

My guardians and I only noticed how ominous and eerie they were. On first impression, Jea and Miryo were breathtakingly beautiful and dazzling. Jea was charming and lovable, but Miryo was exceptional and supercilious. Inwardly, the two she-demons were intimidating and unpredictable - which was a bad thing.

In class, it was a minefield - no, a battlefield. No one made a move, yet every movement was watched. No one made a sound, and every whisper was heard.

It was suffocating really.

The she-demons flickered their piercing eyes at us, entertained at how we rebutted back with our own defying gazes. They would grin when we flinched at their too-close-for-comfort proximity. They were amused when we sneered at them. Kai, Minho, and Sehun suggested to eliminate them right away, because their patience was thinning. But we didn't, because nothing could be discreet or potent enough to wipe them out.

Just a few days later, Exo-M finally finished up Tao's paperwork, so he had finally transferred into our school. He was almost in all of my classes. He would bunk in with Exo-K during the weekdays (some of Exo-M did that too) and be home in Beijing (via teleportation) on the weekends. Tao's presence both lessened and increased my worries. I was comforted for the extra protection, but fretted over if he or any of my other guardians would get hurt by the tricky she-demons. I knew Kris was very worried, not being near his soulmate who was near the danger. Tao was also still young and soft-hearted, putting himself in harm's way for my sake, it made me feel guilty. So if anything bad happened to him, I wouldn't care if Kris blamed me.

Everytime we were at home, my guardians would vent out their frustrations.

"I HATE how Miryo always has something to say to Alaina," ranted Kai through clenched teeth. "You're her teacher's pet now!"

It was true. Miryo had so much attention pinned on me (much to the other students' chagrin). She signaled me out in class and inquired me to keep up my perfect grades. Wasn't I hated enough in school? I. Did. Not. Steal. The. Teachers'. 'Affections'!

Miryo liked seeing my soulmates tense and fret over me. Taemin would try to counteract Miryo's actions with his prognostication. Once, Taemin warned me beforehand to finish my quiz at a slower pace, and it turned out Miryo wanted me to run an errand for her, but Taemin cleverly intercepted the task. (But I was chided by Miryo afterwards to be more quicker-paced.)

Everything had a reaction. Do this and do that. I was overwhelmed.

What bothered me the most was how long the tension last. Days flew by ever since Jea and Miryo became my teachers.

I slumped over the dining table at home one day. "Ugh, I want to die. Now I wish I was under house arrest," I complained in grumbles.

Sitting near me, Key patted down my hair soothingly. "I don't agree with wanting to die, but maybe you should stay home. Then leave us to deal with the demons."

"What do Exo think?" I asked sullenly, letting Key my hair.

Taemin (who was on my left) and Minho (across from me) exchanged curt glances.

"Kai says maybe ambush the teachers somehow," spoke up Taemin. "Try to lure them out."

"Like that hasn't worked out," Jonghyun muttered tartly.

Because of me, I deadpanned, thoughts aligned with Jonghyun's. Everything went wrong when I was around.

"I think it'll be easier to confront the teachers during summer," reasoned Onew. "We'll be out of school and can avoid humans."

I blinked at that one word. Summer. Summer already? I've been with SHINee for a while now. My eyes dimmed with sadness. That also means I've been away from the orphanage for a while, too.

Everyone thought I was depressed because of the current situation, but that wasn't it.

I straightened up in my seat. "I'm going to my room. I'm going to check up on my letters from Ayano."

"Want me-" But I put my fingers to Taemin's lips and smiled at him gently.

"It's fine," I told him. "You can go rest or train or whatever. I just need a minute to think."

I darted upstairs before anyone could object. I felt a tad guilty for ditching Taemin, but all the talking about demons and summer made me...queasy.

I stepped into my room and closed the door with a relieved sigh. I was alone because Kai was also on a patrol run with his hyungs. I had the time to be one-on-one with my own thoughts.

I crossed over to my desk and sat down, hands running over the folder where I kept my precious mail from Ayano. I hadn't read the latest letter she sent me yet, mainly because I've been preoccupied lately. I opened up the envelope and unfolded the paper, feeling comforted by the Japanese characters written in Ayano's elegant penmanship.

To my dear Alaina, I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling with your studies, but I hope you don't give up. You always solve your problems, so don't think you can stop doing that. Remember, sweetie, you're trying to get into SNU, so shoot towards your goal, okay? Now you had asked about the orphanage's condition. I must admit, Alaina, we've housed about a dozen and half more arrivals, from really young ages. The dorms are all cramped and we hardly have extra clothing anymore. Some of the caretakers work overtime with the same pay just to take care of the little kids. The children are so frightened and scared, that it will take a long time to console them to get used of the orphanage. I wish you were here to placate them, your presence always calms the children. The babies we're sheltering now are so innocent and only know they're safe in our hands. But supporting babies is hard, you know that. They exhaust the workers too much. Alaina, we've been having problems with some of the middle schoolers. It's not them, but the money to fund for their education. We're a bit stretched on money. Yuki has worked extra hours to support them. I'm worry about his health, he's overexerting himself these past days. I hadn't noticed before, but now I see how he's been holding himself together like he's built a wall. He's always pondering about something to where it completely preoccupies him. Sometimes I have to call out his name multiple times before he responds. He's definitely become too hasty and busy for a normal university student. I think his grades are dropping. I know I shouldn't be saying this, but I wish you were here to reason with him. Your presence was special here, keeping it manageable. I am either superstitious or too old, but I think your departure caused some type of chaos. Oh, brilliant, now I need you to reason with me. How silly of me. Please don't worry over us, we'll overcome the craziness. But I do hope as summer comes, you can come visit just once. Love, your grandmother, Ayano.

There were tears in my eyes before I had even finished the last sentence. I rubbed the back of my hand under my watery eyes. But it was futile, more tears produced unwillingly.

So Ayano finally confessed to the troubles at the orphanage? I guessed she felt too overwhelmed like me and just spilled everything out. I was submerged in inner turmoil, wanting to be there and erase all the problems away, taking the burden into my own hands. I would've done so much, for Ayano, the caretakers, and the kids, working hard like Yuki.

Yuki.

I skimmed over the part where Ayano talked about Yuki and his change in personality. That baka, I cried silently, that stupid baka needs to stop stressing himself! He acts like he has to prove something. But he doesn't. He doesn't.

Ayano, it is my fault. I cradled her letter against my chest as droplets of salt water dripped onto my lap. It's because I left all this chaos happen. I'll make it up to you somehow. Just hang on until summer.

I should've guessed he was too worried to leave me alone, because a few minutes later, the door pried opened, and light footsteps hurried over to me, kneeling by my chair. Fingers brushed away my hair that hide my tear-stricken face. I didn't respond to him, just staring mournfully at my desk. He noticed what I was cradling and gentle coaxed the crinkled letter from my grip. His beautiful eyes tightened as he deciphered some of the troubling words.

He set the letter down and gently crushed me against his chest. He kissed the crown of my head as I clung to him. "It's okay, it's okay," he crooned to me, rocking me back and forth. "You'll see them soon."

"I want to see them now," I mumbled plaintively in his shirt. "They need me."

He struggled for a response. "You...you're more important," he managed to say poorly but honestly.

"Taemin..."

Taemin caressed his thumb across my cheek. "I know that was biased, but please understand, if anything happens to you, everything will only get worse. So just...just stay here, with me, in my arms. I don't want anything bad happening to you again. I've lost my sanity more than enough times since meeting you."

My mind was too jumbled up to think of something smart to throw back at him. I only nodded, burying my inconsolable face in the crook of his neck. He picked me up and laid me on my bed, holding me close, my hair soothingly like Key-umma did earlier. I closed my eyes wearily and listened to our heartbeats. The rhythmic tha-thump lured me into oblivion. Taemin fell asleep alongside me not long after.

...

(Kai's POV)

Kai teleported in the entrance hall of the house, first (as always) to be home after his patrol shift ended. He kicked off his shoes and strutted down the hall. He peered into the kitchen where he heard voices.

"Eh? Where's Taemin-hyung and Alaina?" he muttered to himself when he saw only four out of six of the SHINee family conversing at the kitchen table. He glanced up the staircase where he sensed the location of two people. "Aish, they better not be cuddling," he growled. He disappeared in a poof of black tendrils and re-appeared in the upstairs hall, between Alaina's bedroom and Taemin's. He sensed his hyung and soulmate in the latter's bedroom and crossed over to her door.

"Yah, you two better no-" He stopped short when he read the atmosphere (although jealous when seeing Alaina with Taemin). It was gloomy and sad, and he could tell it was because of Alaina. His hyung and soulmate were indeed cuddling in the bed, but not in an affectionate way, but consoling.

Kai bit his bottom lip, torn between waking up Alaina and asking what was wrong (and dragging Taemin away from her) versus leaving them alone for now (much to his displeasure) and hoping he would find out soon. He hated being out of the loop.

He debated inwardly before releasing a relinquishing sigh. He carded his fingers through his wind-blown hair agitatedly. "Fine, I'll leave them alone, just because Taemin-hyung is already asleep and Alaina is, too." His dark-mocha eyes softened. "I'll tell hyungs you two are asleep. Expect me to wake you up for dinner."

Kai tip-toed out the room, quietly closed the door, and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he stroded away.

...

(Alaina's POV)

Summer vacation was only a few weeks away, and I wondered if I was either dreaming or delusional.

I inclined to the latter.

In those weeks that passed, I'd been training my ES, enduring school life with two she-demons, disheartened about back home in Tokyo, and had to temporarily say farewell to the four good members of B.A.P.

All in all, it meant I had to put on a brave face and act like nothing was wrong. Not for my guardians' sake, but also for the close humans around me - Eunmi, Jae, Kyungmi, Chunhei, and Chungcha.

SHINee, Exo-K (Exo-M was in Beijing), and B.A.P idled by the front entrance of the house.

"Be safe," I bid honestly, but truly concerned over their welfare. Especially Zelo, who was my best friend, but nothing like the connection between Yuki and I. B.A.P. had packed up for a who-know-how-long trip to search for Block B somewhere in Seoul. Yongguk was doing a last-minute discussion about locations and territories with Onew, Suho, and Jonghyun. Key and D.O. double-checked if they had all necessary travel gear. Chanyeol and Minho were giving Youngjae and Daehyun some extra advice and expressing caution.

Zelo gave me a sweet, gentle, yet bubbly smile; I had grown used to it these past weeks. I loved seeing that smile (but I couldn't say that out loud or two jealous soulmates would prove me wrong). I felt Kai's and Taemin's 'back off' looks directed at Zelo.

"Don't worry, Alaina-noona," Zelo enunciated very pointedly, "we'll take care of ourselves. We're only doing a scavenger hunt, that's all." He winked at me, ignoring Kai's bland huff. "Besides, you know our powers won't let us down."

"You're telling me," I said sarcastically, but softened. "Do come back, dongsaeng."

Zelo blinked at my choice of words then laughed. "Understood."

"We're leaving now," announced Yongguk as his three brothers shouldered their backpacks and bowed. "Thanks for the help and advice. We'll do our best on the search."

"Of course we'll do our best," interceded Daehyun with a handsome smile. "Guardians gotta protect the Peacemaker at all cost, eh?" Everyone glanced at me and I flushed pink. They all laughed.

"Remember to contact us if you have any concern or important news," reminded Onew.

"Don't overstress yourself and be human-like to blend in," added Jonghyun.

"Since you know Suju's positions, make sure to avoid them," tacked on Suho.

"Araso, araso," interrupted Youngjae with an eye-roll. "We got this."

Minho tossed Yongguk a spare set of keys. "Here, use it. It's a good thing we had extra money to spend."

Yongguk raised the keys gratefully. "Thanks. I promise I won't demolish it." He inclined his head. "Let's go, guys."

"Bye!" chorused SHINee and Exo-K, waving goodbye as B.A.P. piled into a car and pulled out of the driveway. This scene was very warm to me, it showed how close the three families were. My mind wandered, remembering how all of us played soccer together, or had huge family dinners, or joked around like nothing was wrong.

I wondered if this is what's it was like to let your little kid start kindergarten, waiting at the bus stop, allowing yourself to let your growing child take the very first step to be an adult. In my case, being responsible, helpful guardians.

Be safe and come home, I thought tenderly, watching Zelo wave at me cutely in the back window until the car sunk away in the distance.

...  
 

On a Thursday afternoon...

"How do the she-demons have so much damn patience!" groaned Baekhyun exasperatedly, flopping over the dining table as everyone - SHINee and Exo - were gathered for a meeting. Another day spent during school, and as abnormally as it was, nothing happened. Unless you counted Miryo's fifth-hundredth smirk to me as something.

Chanyeol's squeezed Baekhyun's delicate shoulder. "They're women, Baekkie," he said as if it answered everything, "they're unpredictable like that. No offense, Alaina."

"None taken."

"I'm just relieved they didn't attack you outright," muttered Kris, eyes flickering to Tao for a moment. I knew he was losing his sanity day by day while Tao wasn't by his side. Kris had his arm securely griped around Tao's waist as they sat very close to each other.

"Speaking of women being unpredictable," murmured Key, rubbing his vexed forehead. "Jae suddenly wanted my personal opinion where the summer field trip should be this year."

"Where did you go last time?" asked Sehun, tilting his head (so cutely, that I wanted to pinch his cheeks, but Luhan did that since he was closer).

"Just Jeju Island," answered Minho with an uncaring shrug. "Very simple."

"Isn't the summer field trip going to be announced tomorrow?" spoke up Tao in Mandarin since his Korean was still rusty. "Everyone was talking about it."

Kris translated for his panda and everyone nodded.

"Man, I wish we can go somewhere fun this year," said Chanyeol, stretching out his long arms. "College trips are lame these days. We hardly go out of the country anymore."

The thought of visiting another country struck me hard in the chest. Japan, I wanted to whisper. Tokyo. Home...

"Alaina?"

I blinked free from my gloomy stupor and glanced up to see many pairs of worried eyes trained on me. I blushed. I hadn't noticed I had tuned out the conversation over vacation sites and Taemin had been concerned over my emotional welfare, noticing my downcasted face. Ever since he found me crying over the letter...

"Uh, yeah?" was my best reply.

Taemin frowned. "I asked if you were okay."

I shrugged noncommittally. "I'm fine."

Kai raised a suspicious brow. "Just fine?"

"I'm...okay?"

Kai frowned also. "You don't look so good? Are you sick?" He touched my forehead but I patted down his hand.

Key raised a stern, demanding brow. "Young missy, explain before I force it out of you."

Why was Key's wrath one thing I was afraid of in the universe?

I slumped back into my chair, arms crossed, and face ashen. "I'm homesick," I finally confessed in a tiny voice.

Xiumin looked at me weird. "Homesick? How are you homesick?"

Chen elbowed Xiumin. "She used to live in Japan, babo-hyung," he whispered.

"Oh." Xiumin blushed bashfully. "I forgot."

"The orphanage?" inquired Onew softly, right on the dot.

I nodded faintly, not glancing up to avoid the sympathetic looks. "I don't know how I survived this long," I admitted ruefully. "I used to visit the orphanage everyday. I guess time finally caught up to me."

"That's not all," muttered Taemin, eyes intent on my despairing face. He nudged me. "Tell them," he urged.

I hesitated. "I don't think..."

"Tell us," demanded Kai, but I saw the softness in his dark eyes. "So we can help you."

I sighed resignedly. "The orphanage...isn't doing so well. Ayano sent me a letter a few days ago. She finally admitted they were having a big hassle over there. About thirty new arrivals - most of them babies. Caretakers are overworked. Kids barely have enough clothes and food. All the space is taken up. Money is thin. Schooling might be cut off."

I didn't tell them what was bothering me the most: the difference in Yuki. How Ayano was worried over him, and hence, me as well. Taemin sensed how I wouldn't say it, but neither did he understand the full extent of it. I never elaborated my life back in Japan so much before. It was all new information for my guardians to comprehend.

"Aww, that's so sad," uttered D.O. unhappily. Kai squeezed my arm, finally knowing what had been heavy on my mind, conveying he would comfort me.

"You wish you were there, don't you?" asked Lay softly.

I nodded mutely.

"If you want, we can send donations or even funds," offered Jonghyun supportingly, smiling to assure me.

"Exo won't mind either," inserted Kris. His groupmates - Xiumin, Luhan, Suho, Lay, Baekhyun, Chen, Chanyeol, D.O, Tao, Kai, and Sehun - all nodded in agreement.  

"I've been doing that lately," I admitted, fidgeting with my fingers. "I didn't ask you guys because I felt like that was too much of a favor."

"You're our Peacemaker," put in Luhan, meeting my gaze meaningfully. His words were slow and precise. "We. Will. Do. Anything. For. You."

"Anything to make you happy," agreed Sehun sweetly.

My neck warmed at the strong gaze Luhan could give me with such soft, doeful eyes. I guess he could play mind tricks with his words, too. He made me feel foolish at my seclusion, but giddy because of his statement.

My guardians are my beloved friends, not servants. They did things for me out of the goodness of their hearts.

Taemin hugged me close, resting his cheek on my head. "You'll get to see them someday."

"Ne," agreed Onew with an encouraging smile. "Just when you're not prey anymore you can go."

Most of us laughed at Onew's lame joke. The dubu leader didn't mind, he was Onew.

"Komawo," I whispered thankfully. Everyone beamed at me while my soulmates kissed my cheeks.

...
 

I blew my bangs away from my deadpanned face, walking alongside with Taemin, his arm around my waist as usual, close on my other side was Kai. Behind me was Baekhyun, Sehun, and Tao, chatting animatedly (how they had energy in the morning was a mystery to me) and Minho and Key were leading the way down the stuffy halls. This was a normal occurrence at school now, people just brushing it off. The humans thought SHINee and the new transferees were being my 'appointed bodyguards' because of the past 'accidents' that happened to me.

They were half-right.

"The hallway is noisy," noted Sehun, peering beyond the sea of crowded bodies compressed in one hall like a scout. Excited chatter filled the air.

"Alaina!" squealed Eunmi has she slipped out from the mass and pranced over to my group. She grasped my hands very exuberantly that left me confused. "The summer field trip location has been announced! Jae-unnie is brilliant! All because of you!"

Now I was extremely confused. "Because of me?" I repeated in puzzlement, brows scrunched down.

Eunmi nodded mirthfully. "We'll have so much fun! You can show us around and tell us your favorite places and-"

"Wait, hold up," interrupted Kai. "Alaina shows you around where?"

Eunmi didn't get to answer when Jae appeared from behind them, chirping, "Yah, I found you guys! Did you hear?"

"Ani, not yet," mumbled Baekhyun dryly.

Jae raised a brow and glanced at the busybody throng. "Ah, tough crowd. Well, I'll break the news for you." Her eyes were bright as she said while staring at me, "We're going to Tokyo for the field trip!"

"What?!" gasped my guardians.

"Nani?" That word passed through my lips in a dumbfounded whisper.

I wanted to return to Tokyo.

My family needed me back in Tokyo.

Yuki was all alone in Tokyo.

I was going...home.

Time slowed down. The hallway spun in a lopsided way. My body was numb, so I didn't feel it when I collapsed to the ground. Multiple hands reached for me, grasping my arms and back. Sounds were blocked out, just the same jumbled mess of vibrations.

I was having a panic attack.

"Alaina? Alaina?!"

Taemin beautiful, frightened face appeared before me. My face was blank and stunned as I stared back stupidly. The strong arms around me were Kai's, cradling me to his chest. He was scared why I was like this.

My mind was befuddled, my body detached, my voice was high-pitched as I spluttered, "T-Tokyo? W-we're going to Tokyo?"

Jae knelt down to grin at me cheesily, not understanding I was shell-shocked in a very bad way. "Ne, surprised you, didn't I? I proposed to the school board that we'd go to Tokyo. You were my inspiration, and Miryo-seonsaengnim and Jea-seonsaengnim agreed, saying it'd be a good experience."

My eyes were wide in disbelief. Those two-!

"Japan," I whispered, flabbergasted. My voice was small and faint. "Home."  

Eunmi griped my arm with her small, bony hand. "Isn't that wonderful, Alaina? You get to visit your hometown!"

Kai wanted to growl at the two clueless humans, but I tugged on his arm, wanting to get up. Kai and Taemin helped me to my feet like I was a fragile piece of glass. Everyone - Key, Minho, Baekhyun, Tao, Sehun, Jae, and Eunmi - were converged around me, making it hard to breath. I was suffocating, inside my body...and in my mind.

"Ne, it's great," I murmured softly, while losing my sanity. "It's too perfect." I swallowed. "I...I need some fresh air. Excuse me."

Without warning, I brushed past Sehun and Tao, shaking off the hands that grasped at me. But Kai's grip on my arm was unshakable.

"Alaina-" he said but I wasn't listening as I sensed her.

She always seemed to know my feelings and the thoughts that crossed my mind. She was a director of a movie, or an author of a book - calling all the shots, knowing all the outcomes, seeing her success through her audience's reactions.

She was the controller of a game. The gamefreak. The master.

Across the busy hallway, the bodies of people slowed into a matrix, and I saw her clearly. She just stood there, facing sideways to me, graceful and cultured - almost to mock human etiquette - with her spine straight and chin raised. She was beautiful, immobile, and wicked.

Too wicked.

That cruel curve of her sideways smirk made my blood run cold. I stared in bafflement at Miryo, as if to ask why?

Jea suddenly appeared magically by Miryo's side. Both of the she-demons turned and glided down the hall, accomplishment heavy in their light steps.

For these past weeks, I longed to visit home.

Now I feared it.

...

THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT WITH ME, MY LOVELY READERS! <3

I LOVE YOU, you!

~SS

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