The razor blade fell on the floor with a loud clank as I realized the stupidity I did to myself. I broke into tears and sobbed hysterically. My legs buckled,  I fell on my knees into the small puddle of blood and clutched my arm to my chest. Shame hit me like a truck at full speed. I was so very ashamed.

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[Daehyun POV]

I couldn’t sleep these past few nights. Too many thoughts plagued my head, mostly about Youngjae and about what happened. I was so confused. I didn’t know what to think or how to act anymore. The best thing is to just avoid the problem which is pretty hard if you share a room with the source of it.

I heard Youngjae toss and turn. He had a nightmare again. Then he suddenly gasped. He must’ve woken up so I pretended to sleep and waited. I heard rustling, the sound of bare feet on the floor and then a door closing. Youngjae probably went into the bathroom. I waited for him to come back but after a long time he still didn’t, so I became worried.

I stood up, went to the bathroom and opened the door quietly. Luckily he didn’t lock it. What I saw made my blood run cold and my heart shatter. Youngjae stood in the middle of the bathroom, a bloody razor blade in his right hand and blood trickling down his left arm. He stared at the puddle of blood on the floor with a smile on his face.

“YOUNGJAE!” I shouted. He jerked his head to look at me and his face turned blank when he looked back down at his arm where my gaze was fastened. I heard a loud clank when the razor dropped on the floor and then Youngjae broke down. It was an horrendous sight.

And suddenly everything came rushing to me. What if he accidentally cut a vein? I wouldn’t be able to live without him. I want to protect him from harm. I want to hold him when he’s crying and screaming like that. I want to prevent him from being sad. I want to always see him happy, his beautiful smile which makes his eyes twinkle. I don’t even know when was the last time I saw it.

Does love feel like that? Am I in love with Youngjae too? Maybe I was just too dense to see it or maybe I didn’t want to see it. But as I saw the suffering Youngjae right in front of my eyes I couldn’t let him go through that anymore. It’s my fault he’s suffering so much and now even to the extend of hurting himself. What have I done? I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t know what to do!

“Yongguk! Yongguk hyung!” I shouted and hurried over to where Youngjae was kneeling. I wrapped my arms around him, not caring that his blood drenched my shirt. When I still didn’t hear anyone coming I turned my head to shout once more but was stopped by Youngjae. He grabbed my shirt and squeezed.

“P-Please *sob* don’t… don’t t-tell a-a-anyone. *sob* Plea-se.” he sobbed. I hesitated.
“T-Then first let me see your arm. I have to see how bad it is.” I answered determined and grabbed his left arm, careful as to not touch the wound. Youngjae complied and stretched it out in front of me. He wasn’t looking at me, his gaze not leaving the floor. He probably was ashamed.

I inspected the wound. After a moment I realized that it’s not as bad as it looks. There’s just a lot of blood but Youngjae didn’t cut very deep. I was holding my breath while looking at the wound so now I sighed which caught the attention of Youngjae. He looked at me with teary eyes.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to go to a hospital but I have to treat it. I won’t tell the members if you promise to never do it again.” I looked at him intently and he suddenly blushed. How can he still blush when he lost so much blood? He nodded.

“I-I p-promise. I’m sorry. I’m s-so sorry.”

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Hey guys! I know it's been an incredibly long time since I last updated this story. A lot of things happened and I needed to focus on my own life for some time. But I promised that I'd continue this story, so here it is! I'm sorry for making you wait this long and I thank you a thousand times for waiting patiently! THANK YOU! :)

Furthermore, some friends and I made a facebook community about K-Pop.We'll post pictures and videos there and play some games, of course with 'awards' ;D
 PLEASE LIKE THIS PAGE: http://www.facebook.com/pages/K-Lovers/155809597909687  AND PLEASE PARTICIPATE A LITTLE AT OUR COMMUNITY! thank you^^