Shocked I froze and didn’t dare to look up. The one thing I didn’t want to happen, happened. Someone found out. I was scared. Will Jongup be disgusted and hate me? I wouldn’t survive if my B.A.P family hated me. 

**************************************************

[Youngjae POV]

I felt a stinging feeling in my eyes and tears started to flow. I quickly looked away and tried to hide my face with my fringe but Jongup already noticed. I suddenly felt strong arms wrap around me.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry, it’ll be okay. You can talk to me, okay? I’ll help.”, he said with a soothing voice. He took me to his room, which he shared with Zelo. Yongguk and Himchan share a room too and unfortunately I share with Daehyun, which makes my life a whole lot harder. However I don’t want to ask if I could swap with anyone because then I’d have to explain why, and I’m a horrible liar.

We were sitting on Jongup’s bed, his arm around my shoulder while I silently snuffled and tried to hold back sobs. I didn’t want to wake Zelo. I looked over at our maknae whose blanket was wrapped tightly around him, his blonde hair sticking out from beneath it.

“It’s no problem. He won’t wake up, he has a deep sleep.” Jongup suddenly said. I turned my head to look at him. He was incredibly handsome, just like the rest of the members, but you wouldn’t believe how much he knows about people. He always appears to be oblivious but he’s not, he’s just keeping quiet and observing.

“You want to talk about it?” he asked. I hesitated but decided to tell him. He already knew most of it anyway. 
“I like him. No, I…I think I love him.” My voice cracked at the end of the sentence. “Daehyun?” he asked. I just nodded. 
“I understand if you’re disgusted and think that it’s weird but I can’t do anything against my feelings.” The look in Jongup’s eyes softened. 

“Why would you think I’m disgusted? Loving someone is no shame and I’m your bandmate, your brother. I only care about your and the others’ happiness. …Does anyone else know?” 
“No, I kept it a secret. It would be the end of our careers, our dreams, if it’s found out. You’re the first one.”

“How long do you already… love him?” 
“Since I first saw him.” I answered and felt some tears flow down my cheeks again. I snuffled. “You know, it hurts! It’s extremely painful in here.” I raised my hand and held it above my chest. 

“Being by his side every day, working with him, eating with him, sleeping in the same room and knowing that I can never tell him. Because it would be a scandal and I’m sure he doesn’t like me in that way. He’s straight after all. But I can’t stop feeling these stupid things every time I see him, his soft blonde hair, his beautiful eyes, his soft skin and those beautiful full lips. I don’t… I-I don’t think I c-can endure much longer, Jonguppie!” I pressed my hands on my mouth to muffle the sobs that started to come out and closed my eyes.

“…Youngie, look at me.” I didn’t move. “Look at me!” he raised his voice a little, still quiet enough to not wake Zelo but very firm. I never heard him talk like this so I did what he said. 
“You didn’t even try! I don’t like seeing you like this so do something to solve this. Tell him. I’m sure he won’t hate you, even if he doesn’t like you back. I have a feeling he’s not as straight as he appears.” 

“What do you mean?” 
“You’ll see. Have more confidence, you need to believe in yourself more. And… there’s something that’s bothering the whole group.” He hesitated. 
“What is it? Is it about me?” I urged him to continue. He looked me in the eyes.

“Youngjae, if you need help don’t hesitate to come to me or Himchan or Yongguk or… just anyone okay?” He took my shoulders and turned me to him slightly more. 
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.” I was confused. 
“We noticed you stopped eating properly. We’re worried, it’s not healthy.” I was shocked and hid my face in my hands. They think I have a problem with eating and everyone noticed that something’s wrong. I was ashamed. 

“Nothing’s wrong, Jonguppie. I’m just dieting to get rid of this tummy fat.” I said and raised my head again. He looked at me skeptically. 
“Okay, but you know that it’s not considered a diet if you stop eating completely or eat almost nothing and that it doesn’t help right?” 
“Yeah, I know. I’m not doing that, you don’t have to worry.” 

“Youngjae, please take care of yourself. And about your tummy fat… We love you with or without and I’m sure the fans will too.” He smiled at me and I couldn’t help but smile back. “Yeah, thanks.”

“We should go to sleep now. Tomorrow is our big day! Do you want to sleep here, maybe it helps prevent your nightmares?” 
“Can I? I would feel better.” 
“Sure.” We both slipped under the blanket. Jongup was snuggling up to me but this action didn’t feel intimate at all. It was like snuggling with your little brother. “Goodnight.” he mumbled. “Yeah goodnight.” I answered and yawned.

“…Jongup?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks a lot and… I love you guys too!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm back with another chappie YAAAAY!! :D sorry for the wait, hope you liked this chappie^^  

Great News!! Another K-Pop package arrived! Four new CDs for my K-Pop collection!!!!!!!!!   YAAAAAAAAAY!!
 

Furthermore!!! My dad bought four k-pop shirts for me!!!!!   These four:  (the one Daehyun, Yongguk and Jongup are wearing)

So another round!!!! :
 

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Your comments shall be answered XD

ToneHarmonic: Sorry for being mean ;_; I promise I'll do my best to be friendlier :D  ...I know right? I somehow like the idea of all-knowing Jongup XD

OoAidanoO:  Glad I surprised you^^   I understand Youngjae too.... well, I have to in order to write this story XD Thanks for commenting!

viridiansparrow  Really? You think my story is deep? I actually worried a little because I thought it doesn't really turn out how I wanted it to. Thanks! 
Bwahahaha I know right? I just love those gifs with Zelo and T.O.P  XD   When I saw those gifs I just HAD to use them somehow XD