[Youngjae POV]

„Why isn’t he here yet?“ Junhong asked for the millionth time. I could hear Yongguk sigh. 

“He’s not late, Junhong. He’ll be here soon, don’t worry.”, said Himchan calmly. Today is the day the last member of our group is introduced to us and then we’ll all train together until we make our debut. This will be my family for the next few years.

Bang Yongguk, It’s not set in stone yet but I think he’ll be our leader. He’s the eldest and already has experience because of his days as an underground rapper.

Then there’s Kim Himchan, the second eldest. He’s like our mother and I’m grateful for that because he takes good care of me and the others, although sometimes he nags too much.

Our maknae Choi Junhong is just 15 years old but can rap like a pro and our second youngest Moon Jongup… well he has a lot of muscles and is very shy and his dancing skill is awesome. I wish I could dance like him…

And then there’s me, Yoo Youngjae. I actually don’t think there’s anything special about me, except maybe my tummy fat which is uncommon for an idol. And that’s why it’ll have to disappear until debut. An idol has to be thin or muscular, not chubby like me.

At the moment we’re in our practice room waiting for the last member. Jongup is doing sit-ups while Junhong is jumping up and down chanting “new member, new member” all the time. The first time I saw him he seemed very quiet and shy but he’s actually pretty hyper most of the time.

Himchan and I are sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall and watching them, and Yongguk is sitting in a corner and glaring at our maknae. I think he’s a little annoyed.

“JUNHONG, STOP JUMPING AROUND!!” his deep voice suddenly boomed through the room. Ok, scratch the “little annoyed” part, he’s VERY annoyed. Junhong pouted, sat on the ground and drummed his fingers on the floor.

Suddenly the door flew open and the loud voice of our new manager could be heard.

“Boys, come and welcome your new and last member!”

Everyone stood up and tried to look behind our manager who already stepped through the door. When he stepped aside I saw an incredibly beautiful boy around my age. Brown hair, a sharp jaw-line and deep, dark brown eyes. He was stunning.

“Annyeonghaseyo, Daehyun imnida (=Hello, I’m Daehyun)” he said with his smooth voice and bowed. My heartbeat sped up and I suddenly blushed. My eyes widened. I knew exactly what this feeling was. I never experienced it before but I just somehow knew it.

It’s a beautiful feeling, a feeling which brings happiness to many people. But I also know that it won’t bring happiness to me. It’s forbidden, an absolute no-go in our line of work. And this knowledge caused me to avert my gaze to the floor and take a step back. Because it’s just not possible, shameful, I don’t even need to try.

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“Okay, guys! Your debut is in a week so you have to give it your all! We’ll quit early today because you all did really well. Go to bed early, tomorrow we’ll continue. Understood?” our dance teacher said. Everyone nodded and plopped on the floor as soon as he left the practice room.

I was panting hard. We already practiced for hours and the choreography for our title song is fierce and complicated. I looked over to the others who were all sprawled out on the floor. They didn’t seem as tired as me. It’s probably because I’m still chubby but I don’t know what to do about my tummy fat, it just won’t disappear. I frowned.

“Is everything ok, Youngjae?” I heard Daehyun’s smooth voice ask. My head shot up and I saw that he was looking at me intently. I blushed, looked back at the floor and answered “Everything’s okay.”

“You sure?” added Himchan. I suddenly got annoyed.

“I’m perfectly fine! Stop babying me, I’m not a little kid!” I exploded and stormed out of the practice room. My steps echoed in the hallway as I ran to the bathroom. I went in and looked into the mirror above the sink. I usually don’t blow up like this, it’s just that I don’t like it when Himchan or anyone else treats me and talks to me like with a little kid, especially in front of Daehyun.

It’s been a year since I met him for the first time and knew I fell for him. It’s really awkward between us, thanks to me. It’s painful having to be together with him everyday and knowing that I can’t ever tell anyone how I feel. I also notice that my temper gets shorter and shorter every day and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to endure this pain. I feel myself cracking.

Without me noticing tears started to flow down my cheeks. Hastily I wiped them away but they didn't stop flowing out of my eyes. It hurts. I lay my hand on my chest, above my heart. It really hurts. I stepped back until my back came in contact with the wall and slid down to the floor. Then I lay my head on my knees and sobbed. I broke down for the first time in a whole year.

“Youngie?” I suddenly heard a quiet voice. My head shot up. 

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I hope the first chappie was ok^^ Although I said it'll take some time until I can upload it I wanted to surprise you guys and hurry up :) But sadly I have an exam coming up so I can't upload the next chappie until next week or the week after :( I'm sorry. But once the exam is finished I'll have more time :D

Sorry for the cliffhanger! Who do you think found Youngjae when he broke down? And how will Youngjae cope with his feelings from now on? ...Of course I know it, but what do you think? XD

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE AND COMMENT! Tell me what you think about the first chappie^^

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