Youngmin’s POV

My breath hitched when Kwangmin’s hand moved to enclose me in his arms, “I’m jealous. How do I stop this feeling?” I couldn’t help but stare at his eyes when he said those words. Those deep orbs reflected confusion and frustration, just like what I was feeling at the moment. He was about to speak again when I stood from the seat, freeing myself from his arms. He looked somewhat disappointed and a bit empty.

“I...I think w-we better go to sleep now,” I stuttered like an idiot and my face was probably blushing furiously right now so I avoided his gaze. “I-It’s past midnight.” I dashed to the room without waiting for him and flopped myself on the bed. I also covered myself with the quilt and closed my eyes tightly. Just a few seconds later, Kwangmin entered the room and turned the lights off. He also went straight to bed without saying anything.

During the whole night I couldn’t help but replay that short moment when he opened up himself to me. I am really happy and I didn’t expect that he’ll open up that fast but the words he said were beyond shocking. Why was he jealous of Donghyun-hyung? Is it because he wanted to spend more time with me? But if he did...why did he have to avoid the times I spent with Donghyun-hyung like our nightly check-up? We’re not doing anything personal or private anyway. Maybe he just feels awkward. I’ve noticed he doesn’t get along with Donghyun-hyung too. It saddens me because they are both very important to me. I fell asleep thinking and analyzing Kwangmin’s actions. And nothing made sense.

Donghyun’s POV

I actually didn’t want Kwangmin to hate me but I guess it has good effects too. And one of that is Kwangmin feeling jealous over his brother. Maybe he’ll be able to sort out his feelings soon. After the twins had left the terrace, I also left my spot behind a wall nearby and headed to my original destination which is the kitchen.

“Aish, stupid hyungs...”

I almost laughed out loud when I heard that same muttering again, “And I hope I’m not one of them.”

He also had that same cute surprised expression, “Hyung! Why are you always scaring me like that?”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t help it. Your shocked face is really amusing.”

“Are you teasing me or what...” he looked down and fidgety and his voice was getting lower.

I chortled in amusement, “I’m teasing you because you’re cute.” His face got even redder and he couldn’t bring his face up. “So who are those stupid hyungs again?”

His mood immediately changed and he was back to his irritated feeling, “Jungmin-hyung and Hyunseong-hyung who else?”

Just like the other night, we both grabbed ourselves a glass of milk and sat by the counter, “But I thought they’re okay already?”

“They are! And I hate being in the same room as them! I know that Jungmin-hyung tries really hard not to show too much skinship with Hyunseong-hyung when I’m in the room but sometimes they just can’t help it. My poor innocent eyes! I wish I never set up that plan to make them talk to each other! I can’t even go back inside the room now without making sure that they are both asleep already.”

This kid can really make me laugh easily. His small voice and his pout made him even more entertaining to watch and listen to, “You can’t blame them since they’re a couple now. Hmm...how about you sleep in my room?”

He spewed the milk out from his mouth right after I said those words. He wiped his mouth with his pajama sleeve before exclaiming, “WHAT?! B-But you only have one bed right?!”

“Why are you so shocked with my offer? Yes, there’s only one bed but I can sleep on the floor too.”

“B-but hyung...one room...”

“Is there a problem with that? We’re both men anyway and....”

“A-and?”

“Are you thinking that I’ll probably do some inappropriate things to you?”

I was trying hard not to laugh at his violent reactions and completely red face, “Of course not! Aish! Okay! Just for tonight!”

I didn’t expect him to agree but I admit I was really happy, “Then let’s go.”

Minwoo was sitting on the bed as he watched me arrange my makeshift bed. Good thing there were extra blankets and pillows inside the room’s closet.

“Are you sure you want to sleep on the floor hyung?” He asked in a timid voice.

“I can sleep anywhere Minwoo so don’t worry. You go to sleep too.”

He lied on the bed and covered himself with the blanket, “Goodnight hyung.”

“Goodnight Minwoo.”

A few minutes had passed and I heard nothing but Minwoo shuffling on the bed, “Uhm, Minwoo?”

“Hyung I can’t sleep!”

“Haha! Do you want to talk for a while?”

“I guess that’s fine. So what do we talk about?”

“Anything. You can ask me about anything.”

Minwoo thought for a while before asking, “Hyung, you took care of Youngmin when you were both in America right?”

I snickered, “Youngmin again?”

“Okay hyung, I’m sleeping.” I sat up and saw him facing the wall with the blanket all over his body. I wanted to laugh and again but I don’t want him to sleep feeling upset at me.

“Oh come on Minwoo, I didn’t mean anything wrong with that.” He didn’t answer so I pulled the blanket off his face. This time, he turned around to frown at me. Now if only I can lower my face and kiss that pout...

“Hyung!”

I snapped out of my thoughts and distanced myself a little, “You’re not mad anymore?”

“Seriously hyung stop teasing me...”

“But you’re just too cute!” He pouted again so I decided to say something else before he gets upset for the nth time, “So what about Youngmin?”

“Well...when we became friends with Kwangmin he never talked about Youngmin. We even thought he was an only child. We only found out that he had a twin when Youngmin came back so I’m wondering if Youngmin ever talked about Kwangmin with you...”

I leaned my back on the bed and smiled thinking about Minwoo’s question, “He did. Besides, he never stopped thinking about him.”

“What are you writing Youngmin-ah? Aren’t you supposed to be resting for your chemo later?”

“I get really nervous if I don’t do thins hyung...”

“Then what is that?”

“I’m writing a letter to Kwangmin.”

“Kwangmin again? He must be happy to read that much letters from you.”

He laughed emptily at my remark, “He won’t get to read these letters hyung...”

“Huh? Then what are those for?”

He dropped the pencil and stared at nothingness in front of him as if he was suddenly warped in a different dimension, “I just miss him. Whenever I do this I feel that he’s beside me. And it gives me a lot of strength.”

I sat down beside him on the hospital bed and look at the unfinished letter above the overbed table.

“Are you going to send those letters to him?”

“I don’t know...Maybe someday...when the time comes that he’ll value my existence.”

During those times, I loathed Kwangmin. Who was he to make his suffering brother feel even worse? And who was he to deserve such love from Youngmin? If he won’t have the brother who will love and cherish him then I will be.

Kwangmin’s POV

Our parents informed us this morning that we will be going to the Winter Festival here in Gangwon. Youngmin was extremely happy and excited as usual. When I woke up this morning, he already left his bed. I went outside and saw him talking with Minwoo and the others. They all greeted me when they saw me but Youngmin just gave me a shy smile. Maybe he was still bothered by what I told him last night. Way to ruin everything Kwangmin...

We arrived at the festival venue at around 2PM and there were lots of people already. Youngmin scanned the place and he looked like he wanted to go everywhere at the same time.

“Kids, we’re going to hang out with our old friends from the village. You’re going to be fine on your own right?” Our father asked. I was a bit disappointed and felt like a kid who wanted to cling on his parents’ legs but of course, I had a manly image to protect.

“Don’t worry Kwangmin,” my mom whispered to me. “We’ll still have plenty of time to catch up with each other.” I blushed realizing that my mom must’ve noticed my sad expression.

“Donghyun-ah, take care of Youngmin okay?” my father told Donghyun-hyung and it just made me feel irritated again.

I heard a chuckle from my mom before she whispered something again, “You take care of Youngmin too.”

“Wanna hear some news?” Jungmin-hyung said while we were talking towards the registration booth for the Icefish Festival which is part of the Gangwon Winter Festival. “Minwoo slept on Donghyun-hyung’s room last night!”

All of us, excluding Jungmin-hyung and Hyunseong-hyung, halted in our steps due to shock. Minwoo then began to blush and shout at Jungmin-hyung while the latter just keeps on laughing. Hyunseong-hyung was protecting Jungmin-hyung from Minwoo’s brutal attempts at violence.

“H-Hyung? Is that true?” I turned to Youngmin who was looking at Donghyun-hyung with disbelief and accusation. Was he jealous?

“Yes, that’s true,” Donghyun-hyung answered like there’s completely nothing wrong with that. “He felt uncomfortable being in the same room with those two ever since they became a couple.”

“But...you only had one bed...”

“Haha! You had the same reaction with Minwoo!” How can he be amused in a situation like this? “Anyway, I let him sleep on the bed while I sleep on the floor.”

“Is he going to sleep in your room again tonight?”

“I don’t know, it’s up to him. Hey why are you pouting?”

Before Youngmin could answer back the three noisy and not to mention, embarrassing friends of mine returned to our sides with Minwoo still looking angry and Jungmin-hyung still laughing. Normally, I would’ve been pleased to see Minwoo being agitated like this but seeing Youngmin’s unhappy face...

Since it was our first time ice-fishing, we had a fishing instructor teach us how to catch those rare mountain trouts. The instructor dug a small circular hole through the frozen lake and waited for about five minutes before he was able to catch one using his fishing reel. After that, we dug our own holes and had a contest on who will catch the most number of trouts.

I waited for trouts to catch my bait in a bored manner while the others were shouting whenever they catch or failed to catch one.

“Hyung! You caught five already?!” I heard Youngmin asked in amazement.

“Well, this is easy,” the arrogant bastard said. Hmph, stupid trouts.

In the end, Donghyun-hyung ended up as the winner with Youngmin and Minwoo fawning over his incredible talent at fishing. We then went to the cooking zone to grill the fishes.

“Is it cooked yet?” Youngmin kept on asking Donghyun-hyung who was fanning the fishes.

“Just a minute Youngminie,” he smiled, probably amused by my brother’s impatient attitude.

I can’t help but let a small smile form on my lips too when Youngmin kept on checking the fish as if it will return back to life if Donghyun-hyung stopped fanning. Using a pair of chopsticks, Donghyun-hyung picked a small amount of flesh from the fish, blew on it, and fed it to Youngmin.

“It’s delicious!” Youngmin gave him a full-blown smile which made me want to grill Donghyun-hyung alive.

“Uhm...Kwangmin...you might want to flip the fish because the other side is kind of overcooked already I think...” Minwoo fortunately disturbed my murderous thoughts.

“Aren’t you jealous?” I asked him discreetly.

He poked his fish while looking really dejected, “What can I do anyway? They’ve been together longer so if ever Youngmin really likes hyung I’m sure hyung will choose him...Kwangmin?”

I gripped the fan tightly before throwing it on the floor. I went to Donghyun-hyung and Youngmin who were busy eating and tried my best not to flip the table.

“W-What’s wrong Kwangmin?” Youngmin asked but I ignored him. I turned my head towards Donghyun-hyung and glared at him as much as I can.

“Minwoo keeps on overcooking the fish he needs your help.”

“Oh, okay. No problem. Will you stay with-”

“Of course.”

He looked at Youngmin who gave him a sign that he’s fine before leaving his seat. I then sat on hyung’s spot a while ago and just kept silent.

“Have you eaten?” he asked.

“No.”

“Do you want to taste it?” Just like what Donghyun-hyung did, he picked a small amount of fish, blew on it and brought it near my mouth. “Taste it. It’s delicious.”

I hesitantly opened my mouth and he gently inserted the food inside. I can barely remember what the fish had actually tasted because all I could focus on was his pleased smile.

“Did you like it? I grilled it by myself!”

I nodded slowly pretending to taste the food, “It’s good.”

We ate some more (he didn’t feed me anymore of course) and then decided to visit other snow events such as the snow-sledding and igloo exhibition. They were all acting like five year-old kids there were times I had to pretend I didn’t know them. Although my twin was a dead give-away. After that, Hyunseong-hyung and Jungmin-hyung excused themselves saying they wanted to explore the place as a couple. Minwoo faked puking which caused Jungmin-hyung to kick him in the shin. The four of us then decided to go to the line of food stalls for another snack.

“Oh! There’s deokbeokki!” Youngmin pointed at that certain stall and ran towards it. I didn’t know he liked deokbeokki too. “Kwangmin, you want some?”

“Sure.”

“How about you hyung?”

I frowned when he turned his back to look for Donghyun-hyung but surprisingly, he wasn’t there...and so was Minwoo.

“Where are they?” Youngmin asked.

“Maybe they went to the other stalls.” I quickly scanned the other stalls but there were too many people and I couldn’t find a sign of them. I went back to Youngmin and saw that he was talking to someone on his phone.

“Hyung where are you?!....With Minwoo?!....B-but....” a sigh escaped from his mouth. “Okay...have fun...” he looked crestfallen as he hang up and placed his phone back on his pocket. He then paid for hte deokbeokki and we both went to sit on a nearby bench to eat. “Hyung said he’s going to check out something with Minwoo and it might take long so he asked me not to wait for him.”

I looked at him and he looked really disappointed, “Hey, are you sad because of that?”

He shook his head in denial, “I just want to spend this day with everyone.”

“We did that a while ago. How about spending the night with me?”

I almost took back what I said when he kept on staring with a shocked expression when he replied, “Y-You keep on saying weird things since last night...”

“I find myself weird too. I just don’t know.”

“It’s okay,” his smiling face returned. “Let’s spend more time together.”

The Ice Sculpture Event opened at 6PM and since we don’t have anything else in mind, we decided to go there. We were both amazed with the detailed and perfect ice sculptures exhibited at the exhibit zone. The colourful lights gave it a twinkling effect which made it even more beautiful and jaw-dropping. Youngmin was taking pictures of almost everything we passed by. We both stopped when a certain ice sculpture caught our attention. I don’t know if he felt the same but the giant sculpture was like telling me stories I can barely comprehend. It was a sculpture of young boy holding a heart shaped balloon while facing upwards. There was a simple phrase below the masterpiece, “When hope is a traitor, hold on to love.”

Suddenly, I felt a hand held on to mine tightly. I turned to my left and saw Youngmin still looking straigthly at the sculpture with a mild and gentle stare. I squeezed his hand back even though my heart and my mind was hazy from all these feelings.

“You’re my hope and you’re my angel. You taught me many things that made me happy. I love you.”

“And what was that?”

“It’s a poem.”

“Are poems supposed to be like that? It doesn’t sound like a poem to me.”

“Really? Can you buy me books about poems then?”

“Of course! Then you’ll read it to me.”

“And then I’ll improve my poem. By the way, that was for you.”

“For me? But I’m not your hope and I’m not your angel.”

“I guess I don’t really know anything about poems then...”

Our parents picked us all up on our way home. We ate dinner then went to bed. I was about to head to the terrace as usual when Youngmin pulled on my wrist.

“Uhm...I told hyung he doesn’t have to check on me before I go to sleep anymore.” It was kind of awkward but I felt really happy to know that so I followed him on the way to our bedroom. He took a quick shower first and changed to sleeping clothes before I did the same. I then lied on my bed after that and saw that he was still wide awake.

“Are you going to sleep now?” he asked.

“I’m not really that sleepy yet...”

“Then how about we talk for a while until we feel sleepy?”

“Well...okay...” We were both looking at the ceiling as we talk.

“I want to catch up with you and know more about you because we were separated for so long.”

“Then...do you want to ask me about anything?”

“I want to ask you a lot,” he laughed. “Well first, how are you when we were away?”

“I was doing well but I hated all of you,” I didn’t mean for the bitterness to come out again but sometimes I just can’t help it.

“Do you still hate us?”

“I already realized my mistake so no...I guess I don’t anymore.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, “I’m glad to know that. Were Minwoo and the two hyungs your only friends in school?”

“Yes. How about you? Was Donghyun-hyung your only friend?”

“He is. That’s why I really appreciate hyung’s presence. Uhm...did you have...girlfriends?”

I looked at him but he was still facing the ceiling, “Never.”

He then averted his eyes away from the ceiling and turned them on me, “You’re kind of popular in school so I thought you had at least one.”

“I was never interested on anyone.”

“Even once? Even until now?”

“I’m...I’m not sure about that.”

“So you like someone? Who is she? Is she our classmate?”

“What? No!”

“Then from another class? From another year?”

“Wait,” I couldn’t help but sit on the bed to get a better view of him “Why are you suddenly bombarding me with those questions?”

“I just want to know...”

“No, I don’t like any girl from our school.”

“Then from another school?”

“If you won’t stop that I’m going to sleep.”

“Kwangmin...”

"What now?”

“Have you ever felt your heart beating fast like this?”

When he placed his hand over his chest to feel his own heartbeat, I couldn’t help but be drawn to him. I stood from my bed and walked towards his place. I removed his own hand and replaced mine to feel his heartbeat. I then grabbed his hand and let him feel mine too.

“It’s actually in sync with mine.”

The last I saw was Youngmin’s soft fluffy brown hair, his large glassy eyes, his perfect nose and his plump lips before I leaned in, closing my eyes, and crashed our lips together.

_______________________________

/sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.../

this chapter might seem pointless but...well...it really is pointless ^^;;

i'll add some actions on the next chapters 

THANK YOU FOR READING!! ♥