Youngmin’s POV

Minwoo sighed softly as we were eating our dinner with my parents. He was between Jungmin-hyung and Hyunseong-hyung who was still not talking to each other, or rather, Jungmin-hyung not talking to Hyunseong-hyung. Our parents asked us about our day and it was Donghyun-hyung who answered most of the questions. After that, we all went to our respective bedrooms. I arrived first and was expecting Kwangmin to open the door a few minutes after me but he didn’t. I took a quick shower and changed to warm sleeping clothes but he still wasn’t in the room. He probably didn’t want to face me right now because of the incident in this room a while ago. My heart skipped a beat when the door opened only to find out it wasn’t my twin but Donghyun-hyung. I almost forgot he checks at me every night before I go to sleep. He checked the tray of medicines first to make sure that I took it all before sitting beside me on the bed.

“Hyung, have you seen Kwangmin?”

“No…maybe he’s at his friends’ room.”

“Maybe… Do you think-”

“Don’t worry about it too much Youngminie… Just sleep for now. You’ll need lots of energy tomorrow. And wear socks! You’re feet will get cold.”

I chukled a little, “Alright hyung. Go to sleep too. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Youngmin.”

After he left, I wore socks like what hyung told me to do then tuck myself to bed. I was on the verge of falling asleep when I heard the door open for the second time. I just pretended to sleep as I listened to Kwangmin’s movements. A few moments later after he lied on his bed, I could hear his even and soft breathing which probably meant he was asleep already. I slowly opened my eyes and was able to confirm it. I sat from my position and watched him sleep peacefully with the faint moonlight illuminating his body. These are the moments when I don’t feel his coldness and his distance.

“Youngminie…what are you doing in your brother’s room?” My mom said in a low voice while standing at the doorway of Kwangmin’s room.

I was standing beside Kwangmin’s bed, watching him sleep while clutching a small Pikachu stuffed toy.

“He looks so cute when he sleeps mom.” I couldn’t take my eyes away from him.

“You look the same,” she smiled.

“But I can’t watch myself sleep.”

She laughed softly, “Oh yeah, Youngminie’s right. Alright, you can watch as long as you want but don’t wake him up.”

“Nah, it’s okay,” I yawned. “I was getting sleepy anyway. I just wanted to give him a book he might want to read but he was asleep already…so I ended up watching him.”

“I see…now go to sleep. Remember what’s going to happen tomorrow?”

“Of course…a miracle.”

“Kwangmin-ah…hyung is sorry. I’ll wait until you accept me.”

Donghyun’s POV

After checking on Youngmin, I decided to go to the kitchen to return the tray and to grab some drink.

“Aish, stupid hyungs,” I turned to the source of the voice and found Minwoo in front of the fridge getting himself a glass of milk.

“Hi Minwoo.”

He turned around abruptly with a shocked expression on his face, “Hyung! You almost gave me a heart attack!”

I chuckled, “Sorry about that. Anyway, who are those stupid hyungs that you’re muttering about? I hope I’m not one of them.”

“O-Of course not hyung! Uhm…anyway…it’s Hyunseong-hyung and Jungmin-hyung. I’m stuck between the two of them! Hyunseong-hyung is so naïve I’m so tempted to tell him ‘Jungmin-hyung likes you idiot!’…but it’s not my business so…”

Minwoo started pouting while he was ranting I couldn’t help but pinch his cheek.

“H-Hyung! What was that for?” he rubbed his pinched cheek. I remember pinching one side of his cheek only, I don’t know why both sides are red.

“For being so cute,” that made him even redder. “Just let them be for now. It will be better if Hyunseong will realize it on his own rather than someone else telling him. Or better yet, Jungmin should just confess.”

“Yeah…I hope they’ll work it out. I kinda miss the loud Jungmin-hyung.”

I went to the fridge then poured milk on my glass. I then sat beside Minwoo on the counter. I don’t know why but I’m glad Minwoo decided to stay for a bit.

“So…uhm…hyung…is it okay if I ask a little personal question?”

“It depends. What’s your question?”

“What is Youngmin to you?”

The question took me by surprise. I totally didn’t expect that Youngmin would be brought out in our conversation. “What do you mean? I’m his Personal Assistant. I take care of him like he’s my little brother.

“I see…You must be really close since Youngmin’s kinda clingy to you,” he laughed without mirth.

“He is? We’re close, yes. I was his only friend in America and I guess he enjoyed having other company besides his parents. I didn’t notice he was clingy though, was he?”

“A little… Every time I would talk to you he would pull you away,” there goes the pout again.

“Maybe that’s just coincidence.”

“Yeah…maybe…”

“Hmm…why do you seem bothered though?”

“I wasn’t bothered! I was just…ah hyung! I’m sleepy…I guess I should sleep now. Goodnight!”

I just watched him with a smirk as he run his way back to their room.

3^rd POV

The end seems far

But the hope is always near

Everything seems pointless

But the most significant thing is here

More powerful than love

And more powerful than hate

Even though it’s not a wonderful place

And it’s not for a pure being like you

Stay in my heart

Forever, I’m keeping you

“Everything will be over after this.”

His hand wrapped on the other fragile boy’s hand softly.

“No more pain?”

“I guess?”

“You guess? So you’re not sure?”

“But I’m always right. Mom said so.”

“If mom said so then you’re right. Because mom is always right. But, stay?”

“I can’t. But later I will.”

“And then after later?”

“Of course. And then forever.”

“Forever.”

Kwangmin’s POV

I slowly opened my eyes and I’m not sure if I’m still dreaming or not. I simply feel like I just want to lay in the bed like this with my eyes wide-open and just let my mind fly somewhere else. I look at the other side of the room and found Youngmin’s bed empty and already made. He must be really excited for today’s activity. I decided to close my eyes again then the door was flung open so hard I thought for a second it would be detached from its hinges. 

“KWANGMIIIIIIIIIN~ KWANGMINKWANGMINKWANGMINKWANGMIN! Why are you still sleeping you lazy bum! Wake up! We’re going to ski!” Minwoo shouted with his mouse-like voice. If I had an alarm clock like this, I would have probably squashed it to pieces every morning.

“I don’t want to ski….I want to sleep.”

“Oh come on you spoilsport!”

“Get out of here…” I covered myself with a pillow.

“Aish! We’re all prepared already!”

“I don’t care…”

Minwoo sat dejectedly on the bed and I bet he was pouting, “Kwangmin you have to come or I’m going to be stuck in the JeongSeong love quarrel again! Donghyun-hyung will be busy teaching Youngmin to ski so Youngmin will have him all by himself…”

I almost forgot. That arrogant Donghyun-hyung will be teaching Youngmin to ski. I kicked Minwoo to the floor and sat on the bed.

“What’s wrong with you?! Well at least you’re awake. Go prepare now!”

I decided to wake up because Minwoo was noisy. Not because of other things. I grunted and got out of the bed.

I sat on a small stool in front of a wooden cottage with a book on my hand. Everyone was getting their ski equipments ready except for me. I don’t have interest in that sort of thing…and I simply don’t know how to ski. I’ve noticed that Jungmin-hyung and Hyunseong-hyung were far away from each other. Hyunseong-hyung can’t take his eyes off of Jungmin-hyung though. He wants to reconcile so badly. And then there’s poor Minwoo attaching the bindings and skis on his boots by himself. He’s eyes weren’t on his boots though but on somewhere else. I followed the direction of his eyes and found him looking at Donghyun-hyung and Youngmin. Hyung was the one attatching the equipments on Youngmin’s ski boots. After that, he helped Youngmin stand but he couldn’t balance himself yet so he ended up grabbing on hyung’s shoulder while hyung’s hand was draped over his waist. Why…can’t…I…ski….

“Kwangmin you dropped your book.”

I jumped in surprised for not noticing Minwoo had skied towards me...and the book falling on the floor. I picked my book and pretended to be busy reading.

“Kwangmin, the book is upside down.”

I dropped the book to my lap and glared at him, “Minwoo, what do you want?”

He looked at me suspiciously and was about to look at the direction I was looking at before he interrupted me so I shouted, “MINWOO!”

“Oh! Ah…I have plan to make the two hyungs talk together!”

“Donghyun-hyung and Youngmin?! Aren’t they talking already?!”

Minwoo looked at me in a dumbfounded manner and I had just realized what I had said a few seconds later. Now look who’s dumber.

“I wasn’t-”

“I know! I know! You were talking about Jungmin-hyung and Hyunseong-hyung! So what’s the plan! I’m in! Tell me!”  I stood from my seat and jumped like I was excited.

“Uhm Kwangmin…you’re freaking me out.”

“Just proceed with the plan already!”

“Okay! Okay!”

“Uhm…I have a bad feeling about this….And aren’t we supposed to be skiing?” Hyunseong-hyung looked apprehensive.

“You know I don’t ski hyung! At least make me feel better by riding the Ski Gondola with me,” holy trainer of Pikachu I can’t believe I was saying those things.

“Well…we don’t get to hang out together much often so I guess this is fine. I wish Jungmin and the others were here too.”

Well I hope you get to make Jungmin-hyung talk to you with this plan.

We finally reached the Gondola loading area and there was one cable car reserved for us. I had actually paid for it so that it will be exclusively ours for a day. (a/n: I’m not sure if it’s even allowed but it’s a fanfic anyway so… ^^;;) I asked Hyunseong-hyung to enter first and then there’s a shout.

“MINWOO! WHAT’S THE MEANING OF THIS?!”

Minwoo exited the cable car faster than lighting and we closed it together. We asked the controller to get it moving already and he did. I could feel Jungmin-hyung sending death threats to us but it wasn’t my plan anyway so I wasn’t afraid. I’ll just pray for Minwoo.

“Yayy! We did it!” he asked for a high five but I just looked at him like he was crazy. “Spoilsport. Anyway, let’s go back now.”

We were walking our way back when a thought came to my mind, “Hey Minwoo, you like Donghyun-hyung right?”

“NO! Why does everyone-”

“Stop denying! You’re just too obvious I bet even Donghyun-hyung knows about it already.”

Now he was blushing, “You think so?”

“So you really like him.”

“Kwangmin you bastard.”

“Why don’t you ask him to teach you to ski?”

“I already know how to ski unlike you.”

“He hasn’t seen you ski yet right? Tell him you want to learn some new techniques. He’s the almighty Kim Donghyun anyway right?”

“Why do you sound like you’re bitter at him?”

“I don’t. And I’m kind enough to give you advices so don’t piss me off.”

“Well then thank you for your unusual kindness Kwangmin-ssi. But what about Youngmin?”

“I’ll…I’ll handle it.”

“You’ll what?!”

“What’s with that expression?”

“Do you think I’ll leave Youngmin to your hands?!”

“And what was that supposed to mean?! I’m helping you here!”

“If I know better…”

“What?”

“Nothing! Okay…since you followed my plan I’ll follow yours.”

“Then all is well.”

Hyunseong’s POV

I don’t know if I’ll be thanking the kids later or bury them under the snow for this. Jungmin was crossing his arms while glaring outside the window of the gondola lift.

“Uhm…Jungmin…I wasn’t part of this…I had no idea-”

“Shut up.”

Okay that hurt. Jungmin had never been angry at me before. And I have to say I have been missing his bright smile and his loud obnoxious laugh already. I let a few seconds pass watching him frown and I realized I don’t like it a bit. I’m ready to apologize for anything even though I don’t remember what the hell it was exactly just to bring the bright Jungmin back.

“Jungmin I’m really sorry.”

Silence greeted me again and I was ready to apologize a thousand times more until he finally spoke, “Do you even know what you’re sorry for?”

“Whatever it is I don’t care…I’m just really sorry and I can’t bear you not talking to me. If it’s about the girl-”

“Don’t mention her to me!”

“Then it’s not about her?”

“It’s PARTLY about her but what frustrates me the most is your naivety!”

“W-What?”

He sighed impatiently, “Do you think I’ll fret over something for nothing. Isn’t it clear yet?”

I swallowed an imaginary lump in my throat and I do hope he was referring to what I was hoping he was referring to. But I was too afraid to assume and embarrass myself. No, not in front of him.

“Ugh, why are we stuck in this damn thing?! Why am I stuck with you?!”

I could see his eyes getting teary and it was a sight I couldn’t bear even more. Without thinking, I said it.

“I like you.”

The frustration on his face left him for a moment, “What did you say?”

“I like you. I’ve always liked you but I wasn’t really sure. But right now I was able to prove that I really like you. And I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same way-”

“You’re really so naïve! I like you too so don’t say that!”

“I’m sorry if you feel frustrated with a naïve person like me…” I started feeling insecure like I don’t deserve this person in front of me.

He moved beside me and laid his head on my shoulder, “It’s okay…I like you like that.”

“Then why were you crying because of my naivety?”

“Don’t ruin the moment please.”

“Okay,” I wrapped my arm on his shoulder and we just enjoyed the rest of the ride.

Kwangmin’s POV

“It’s okay hyung! I’ve got enough lessons today. You go teach Minwoo.” Youngmin smiled brightly when Donghyun-hyung asked if he could teach Minwoo some new techniques for a while.

“Thanks Youngmin. We’ll continue lessons some other time okay?”

“Okay Hyung.”

I was standing a meter away from the three of them during that time and Donghyun-hyung looked at me before he skied away with Minwoo. I felt like he was telling me, I’ll leave Youngmin to you, take care of him. I scoffed mentally.

I saw Youngmin was looking down and spiritless for a while. Maybe he was sad because Donghyun-hyung left him for Minwoo. He then turned around and skied slowly towards me, “So Kwangmin, do you want to ski?”

I was a little bewildered because he spoke to me without fear like he used to. And he was smiling really brightly good thing I managed to answer back, “I don’t ski.”

“Oh yeah…I forgot… wait for me here okay? I’ll be really quick!”

He tried to ski as fast as he can and I was a bit afraid he would fall. Good thing he seemed to learn fast and arrived at the little cottage without getting hurt. A few minutes later, he arrived with just a normal boots.

“Let’s take a walk?”

I must have been hypnotized and just nodded along with his suggestion. We weren’t talking and we don’t even know where we’re going. But I really like this atmosphere and the warm feeling that seems to be emanating from him. We stopped walking when we found a slope ahead of us. Youngmin walked a little nearer to the edge of the snow slope.

“I wish I’ll be able to learn to ski faster so I can ski down on slopes,” he said. The next thing happened so fast it was a blur. A group of reckless skiers drove past us through the slopes and one of them had hit Youngmin on the side causing him to stumble and fall down the slope. I felt lightheaded as I saw his body laying half-unconscious below with some skiers gathering around him.

“YOUNGMIN!” My mind was blank as I made my way down the slope without even caring if I slide or fall. I couldn’t even remember how I made it down there as I pushed other people away from him. “Youngmin!” I slowly cradled the upper half of his body in my arms afraid that he might break if I grab him tighter, “Youngmin…Youngmin please wake up…please…” I was in all sorts of panic. “I’m here...hyung I’m here…”

I couldn’t thank God enough when Youngmin gradually opened his eyes.

“Youngmin are you okay?” I asked him softly.

His eyes seemed to be lost for a moment before he broke into sobs, “Kwangmin? Kwangmin I don’t want to die…” he grabbed my coat and stared at me intensely as if I wasn’t real. “I don’t want to die yet. Please don’t let me die.”

I don’t understand why he suddenly looked so disarranged and afraid. I grabbed the hand that was holding my coat tightly and tried to comfort his shaking body, “You’re not dying Youngmin. You’re okay. You’re alive. It’s okay. I’m here.”

“I don’t want to die…”

“Everything will be over after this.”

We were in the car back to the villa with my Mom sitting beside Youngmin while I sat on the passenger’s seat beside my Father.

“Are you really okay Youngmin? Does it hurt anywhere?”

“It hurts a little but it’s not something I can’t manage Mom. Stop worrying too much,” I watched him in the rare view mirror as he gave his best smile he can to our Mom. No one had seen Youngmin’s terrified state a while ago. He calmed down after I comforted him for a few minutes then I called the others for help through my phone. When they arrived, Youngmin acted like nothing serious really happened.

“But the slope looks a bit high,” my Mom said.

“It’s not really that high mom, you’re exaggerating,” he kept assuring her.

“Anyway, good thing Kwangmin’s there.”

I looked again in the rare view mirror and our eyes met. He gave me a small smile and I can’t help but give one in return. Much to my annoyance, Minwoo was smirking at the back.

They had called a local doctor to check on Youngmin’s condition and said that he wasn’t in any dangerous situation. He just got a few bruises but no broken bones or whatsoever. I’m guessing he was just shocked that’s why he reacted hysterically like that.

What’s the point of surviving a deadly sickness when you’re going to die in an accident?

Night time came and everyone was preparing to go to sleep. I spent an hour outside at the villa’s terrace and read a book. I don’t go to our shared room early for a reason. I had barely understood anything from the book I was reading though. I kept on thinking about no one else but my twin. I remember wishing for his death when I was young. Will I be happy if he didn’t survive lymphoma, or if he died through an accident today? Did I finally accept him when I held his body in my arms and let him felt that I was there beside him? Do I really hate him?

“No more pain?”

For some reason, the vague dream I had last night kept on flashing in my mind.

I went to our room and found him in the middle of wearing his socks.

“Kwangmin,” he smiled.

I stood like an idiot at the door for a few seconds before finally deciding to lie on my bed.  

“Kwangmin, I just want to thank you for being beside me a while ago. And I’m sorry you had to see me being terrified like that when nothing major had really happened.”

I abruptly sat on my bed to look at him. He looked surprise by my actions but we locked our stares for I don’t know how long. I stood up and walked towards him before collecting him in my arms.

We were both sitting on his bed and he’s in my embrace. I can feel tears coming out from his eyes because my top has gotten a little wet.

“I don’t really understand what’s going on within me,” I admitted. “I want to hate you but right now I can’t bring myself to.”

“Just let them come naturally Kwangmin…”

“I don’t want you to die. I won’t let you die.”

“I will not die.”

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The DongWoo and SeongJeong moments just suddently came up in my mind I hope it didn't failt that bad T___T

and I admit this was written a little hurriedly I'm sorry 

but thanks for reading again anyway n___n