Kwangmin’s POV

“Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday to you~ Happy birthday Jo Kwangmin~ Happy birthday to you~”

Everyone clapped after rendering a birthday song for me. My magnificent birthday cake was placed in front of me with twelve little colorful candles waiting to be blown. The spacious hall of our function room was filled with mirth and cheers from the people present. I faked a smile and gave a few blows to the candles before the small flicks of fire finally died. Another round of applause was heard.

My life .

“Happy birthday big boy! Here’s a gift from our family,” a wealthy-looking woman handed a medium-sized wrapped gift to me. I bowed and thanked her as politely as I can. “By the way, we also left a gift for your twin over there,” she pointed to the large table filled with all the other gifts for my twin and myself. “Just give it to him okay? It’s a pity he can’t be here on your 12^th birthday party.”

Well old hag, I’m glad he wasn’t here. “Yes ma’am. I’ll give it to him as soon as he gets home,” I smiled widely towards her, faking my excitement.

“Aigoo~ such a nice and cute kid,” she ruffled my hair much to my dismay.

After being congratulated by a few more people, I excused myself and went to my own room. They can celebrate that ridiculous party by themselves. I opened the door to my balcony and let myself feel the soft breeze of the night. Few minutes later, I heard a knock followed by my uncle’s voice asking permission to enter.

I really didn’t want to be disturbed right now but I also didn’t want to be rude to my favorite uncle, “Come in.”

He closed the door after he entered and stood beside me in the balcony.

“Why are you alone here? The party is for you. You should be there.”

“I don’t want to go back there. I don’t want any of that party.”

“What do you want Kwangmin? Tell your uncle,” he cooed.

“I want mom and dad.”

His playful smile was suddenly gone and he sighed heavily. He made my body face him by grabbing my shoulders. I gave him a stern look to show that I was serious.

“Kwangmin-ah, you know why your parents aren’t here right?”

“Of course. Youngmin’s stealing them again.”

“Your brother isn’t stealing them from you! You know your brother’s condition. He needs them.”

“What about me? It’s always about Youngmin! I’m their son too! It’s my birthday too!” I stomped my feet in anger. My uncle was running out of things to say and he was getting frustrated too.

“You saw how your brother fainted a while ago right? Do you think he wanted that to happen? Do you think your parents wanted that too?”

“Do you want to know what I wished when I blew out the candles? I wish that Youngmin would just die so that my parents would notice me too!”

The heavy slap that landed on my left cheek was totally unexpected.

“Don’t you ever say that again Kwangmin! You don’t understand what your brother’s going through!”

As much as I wanted to appear tough, I can’t help the tears from falling down, “I thought you’re the only person in this world who can understand me but I guess I’m wrong! Leave me alone!”

“Kwangmin…I’m sorry-“

“Just leave me alone!”

My uncle had no choice but to exit the room and attend the guests downstairs. I went to my bed and vent out my anger by crying. I hate this. I didn’t want any or this.

From what my vague childhood memory could remember, Youngmin was diagnosed with Lymphoma or a cancer in the lymphocytes when we were 8 years old. Ever since then, he was constantly brought in and out of the hospital. My parents tried hard to save him and give him a normal life, forgetting me along the process. I was always left with either my favorite uncle or a couple of maids. Slowly, I began to resent my brother. I felt as if he was stealing and hoarding our parents all to himself. Every time I would need my parents by my side just like today’s birthday party, my first piano recital, or receiving awards from my school, they wouldn’t be there because Youngmin chose to be VERY sick on those days.

I avoided my brother as much as I can. Our parents kept on asking me to be there for my brother because he doesn’t have any chance to make friends with other people. But hey, he took all of my parents’ attention then he doesn’t need mine too right? Besides, who would want to play with someone who keeps on vomiting and fainting every time?

Two days after my birthday, my parents finally came home with my sickly twin. From the stairs, I could hear my uncle apologizing for slapping me the other night.

My mom sighed, “It’s okay brother. I understand why you did that. I would have done it too if I heard it myself.”

I was beyond shocked! Even my own mother wouldn’t think twice of slapping me…even on my very own birthday!

“That boy…” my father spoke next. “No matter how many times we tell him, he just can’t seem to understand how much Youngmin needs us.”

My shoulders slumped in defeat. I went back to my room not wanting to hear any more of their conversation. If their lives revolved around Youngmin then I don’t need them anymore. I won’t fight for their attention anymore. They can do whatever they want.

Suddenly, someone was knocking at my door. I didn’t bother answering because I seriously don’t want to face anyone right now. But the knockings were very persistent that I had to unwillingly get up from my bed and see who the disturber was to give him/her some scolding. As soon as I opened the door, the words died down in my throat. It was my twin who was looking quite paler than usual, if that was even possible.

He was shifting awkwardly with his hands on his back and he wouldn’t talk. I was getting impatient so I decided to talk first, “What do you want?”

He was quite shocked when he heard me speak but he quickly recollected himself, “Uhm, may I come in?”

“No.”

“Oh, alright…then let me just give you this,” he moved his hands forward and I finally saw what he was hiding behind his back. It was a present, the small brown box fitted perfectly to his hands. “I’m sorry it’s late but…happy birthday.”

I didn’t expect that he would bother preparing a gift for me. I looked at his face and he was trying to smile but he was too tired to do so. Suddenly, the feeling of being abandoned and uncared for by your own parents overwhelmed me that I had slapped the gift from his hands causing it to fall on the floor. The box opened and inside it was a pokeball. I didn’t know Youngmin knew I liked Pokemon.

But this is not a time to think about that, “I don’t want you and your stupid gifts! Leave me alone!”

“Kwangmin!”

My parents saw the whole incident. Mom rushed towards Youngmin and hugged him tightly. As she led him towards his own room, I caught a glimpse of his tear-streaked face. My father pushed me inside the room and I could sense a sermon coming.

“How could you do that to your brother Kwangmin? How could you?!”

“Oh great it’s all about Youngmin again right? You didn’t even bother to greet me a happy birthday. Slap me if you want, I don’t care!”

“Where did you learn to be this rude?!”

“Maybe if you bothered paying attention to me I wouldn’t turn out like this! Did you ask Youngmin to give me a present so I would forget about my bitterness? Sorry it doesn’t work out simply like that!”

I could feel my father wanted to beat me at that moment because both of his hands were clenched into fists and he was shaking but he tried to restrain himself, “Even though your brother was terribly sick, he begged us to buy that toy for you. He also kept on asking us to go back and celebrate the party with you.”

He walked towards the doorway and picked up the pokeball from the floor. He placed it on my desk and gave me one last lecture, “Please reflect on your actions. We’re sorry we couldn’t be there for you. But you have to understand, Youngmin needs us more than anything right now.”

Don’t bother explaining anymore. I don’t care. From now on, I don’t have a family.

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I'm not a medical student so please forgive me if I made some mistakes regarding that sickness ^^;;

and thanks for taking time to read : )