Everything passed in a series of blurred sounds and movements. Kwangmin had no idea how he found himself sitting in a chair inside a very familiar doctor’s office with his weeping mother and his forlorn father, comforting her. It took Kwangmin a few moments to remember the man. He was Youngmin’s doctor when he was still receiving treatment in Korea. He had definitely gotten older but there was still the same understanding and sympathetic face coming from him whenever he’s about to convey a very depressing news.

“We are still going to run some tests on him but most of the symptoms show that Lymphoma is starting to multiply again.”

His mother sobbed and his father’s face turned a bit more mournful and distressed. He was sitting there impassively like he was in some kind of a dream where no matter how much he screams inside it won’t come out and no one would hear him.

“I-I knew we shouldn’t have brought him back too early,” his mom said in broken sobs but it broke Kwangmin out of his dreamlike state.

“You…You knew what?” he asked in a low monotonous voice but everyone in the small room had definitely heard it.

His mother stood up and walked towards him apprehensively, “I’m so sorry Kwangmin…Youngmin…he…he wasn’t completely well. There was a 50% chance that the transplant won’t work but we…we hoped he would get better.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry…we thought-”

Everyone was taken aback when Kwangmin exploded like a volcano and kicked the chair he was sitting at harshly to the side.

“Kwangmin! Kwangmin, we’re really sorry!” His mother sobbed louder but angered filled his senses. He didn’t even knew that Donghyun was in the room until he felt strong arms pin him to the wall and was faced with Donghyun’s furious glare.

“Stop acting like this,” Donghyun hissed under his breath. “Youngmin went through a lot already and he would definitely need you more right now. Collect yourself.”

Kwangmin didn’t retort back but held on Donghyun’s gaze. Behind those furious eyes he could somewhat hear what Donghyun wanted to say.

Please. He needs you. He needs you to be strong for him. Please.

He could vaguely see his father approach Donghyun and asked him to let go of his son. Kwangmin slid down to the floor with hot tears flowing from his eyes. The next moment, he sees his father crouching down in front of him while patting his head.

“Kwangmin-ah, today has been a tiring day. Go back home and take a rest okay?”

His father ordered Mr. Park to take Kwangmin home. Kwangmin wanted to see Youngmin but at the same time, he knew that he didn’t have the courage to. Donghyun wants him to be strong, wants him not to break down in front of him. But right now, he doesn’t have the strength.

He was half-lying down on his bed. His eyes were heavy and his body was tired but he couldn’t go to sleep. At that moment he realized that it was nobody’s fault why his life was a mess. It was nobody’s fault that Youngmin suffered physically while he suffered emotionally. It was nobody’s fault why fate seems to be mocking him by letting him fall in love with his brother then take him away from him in an instant. Life just seems to hate him like that.

It was the first time Minwoo saw Donghyun depressed and unstable. The Donghyun he admired had always been calm, cool, and collected with a ready all-knowing smile on his face. He knew that in this relationship, he would always be the one dependant on his hyung. But at this moment, with Donghyun’s head on his shoulder, he realized he needs to be the pillar this time.

Donghyun had told Minwoo about what happened the next day. Right after class, he rushed to the hospital and the first thing that greeted him was Donghyun crying softly on his arms.

Youngmin must be someone really special to him.

They went to the garden inside the hospital where some patients go to breathe some fresh air and just be away from the noisy hospital apparatus even for just a while. No one was speaking and Minwoo was too afraid to initiate a conversation in case Donghyun just wants a silent moment.

“Youngmin, he’s a very special kid to me.”

Minwoo smiled, not a tinge of jealousy on his heart. He already knew from the start that Youngmin means a lot to Donghyun, “I know.”

“This kid, he changed my life.”

“I’m sorry Father but I really can’t go with your wishes anymore. I had decided to take my own path.”

Donghyun’s Father, a renowned doctor in both Korea and America, sighed dismissively. He knew that this was about to come sooner or later but he had really hoped he could somewhat influence his son with his decisions. It’s not like he wanted to control Donghyun’s future. As a specialist of incurable diseases, he knew how to value life more than anyone else. He had moved to America to intensify his research and had started his own hospital to fund for his endeavours. He wished for Donghyun to continue his legacy and take over his hospitals in Korea and America so he asked his son to take medicine. He saw how reluctant Donghyun was but his son agreed anyway, not wanting to disappoint his Father. He did well in school and he thought Donghyun was finally accepting the field until right now.

“I understand son…I understand. But, I have one last wish for you.”

“I know you are trying to change my mind by letting me experience medicine stuff but I really wasn’t happy. And I know you’re about to do that again but let me tell you, nothing will change my mind anymore.”

His Father just smiled at his hard-headed son, “I know but please just do this one request of mine before I let you go.”

Donghyun sighed, “Okay. For the last time.”

Donghyun’s POV

I watched in a bored manner as the young patient in front of me receive his daily check-up routine from one of the nurses. He had no expression on his face even though I know for sure that the injection must have hurt a lot. Probably used to it already.

Jo Youngmin. I’m not surprised to see Korean patients in my Father’s hospital since my Father’s a Korean himself. Rich people from Korea choose to receive treatment here just like this boy’s family. I am not like my Father who is sympathetic and benignant to his patients.

Life is a gift. Life is a treasure. A single life holds so many memories, dreams and promises. You cannot just trample on one without feeling like a devil.

My Father used to say that to me a lot of times. It’s not that I don’t value life and I’m not an insensitive jerk either. But I’m a person who accepts whatever comes to me. If I die today, I die today. If it’s impossible, it’s impossible. I don’t dwell on anything. Prolonging it only makes one suffer. That’s the reason why I am not fit to be a doctor like my Father. My heart doesn’t clench whenever I hear the patients’ relatives beg to please, oh please, save my son. Save my daughter. Do everything. Let him live even by just a year, months, days, seconds. How can one bear to see someone they love agonize for a second longer? If it’s time, it’s time.

My Father assigned me to watch over this boy who I admit, is actually the most good-looking and probably the prettiest I had seen in this hospital despite the condition that’s weakening him inside and out. I had read from his files that he had been here for two years already. His nurses had also told me that he was a very optimistic and a kind kid during his first year but he gradually turned to this quiet and solemn person. He must be feeling tired of all the treatment and false hopes already.

One of the reasons why people choose my Father’s hospital is because it doesn’t only focus on the treatment but also the emotional welfare of the patients. Just like the job that he had given me, he wanted me to be more than just a personal doctor or specialist. He wanted me to be a friend. And I’m doing a poor job at it.

For the first few weeks that I had been with him the only conversation that we had was my introduction and his introduction. I just stayed by his side, watch him stare, write on some kind of a journal, receive treatment, and all those boring activities. One day, as we were sitting on the hospital’s garden, Youngmin on the wheelchair and me on the grass, I asked him out of the blue.

“Aren’t you tired of this?”

He looked at me, a bit surprised that I had finally started a new conversation and probably unexpectant of the choice of topic, and then gave a small smile. An emotion had finally coloured his face.

“Of course I am.”

Some people might call me insensitive but I had the feeling that his kid has a deeper understanding than most people do, “Honestly speaking, are there times when you just want to end this all?”

“I want to end this everyday.”

“So…you don’t want to live anymore?”

He sighed, “I don’t want anything. I just want to see my brother again.”

I was surprised with this new information, “Then why would you want to end this if you want to see your brother again?”

“You don’t understand. I don’t want to live. I want to see him.”

“Wouldn’t you have to live in order to see him again?”

“Every night, when I pray, I pray for God to let me see Kwangmin one last time. I don’t pray for him to let me live because I’m afraid I might be asking too much. If it’s too much, then I ask God to prioritize my first wish. I can be alive or dead. If I’m alive, a few months is okay. If I’m dead, he doesn’t have to go through the trouble of turning me into an angel,” he chuckled. “I can be some kind of a spirit who can watch over Kwangmin.”

If his condition wasn't this worse, and it wasn't this hopeless, I would have laughed at what he said. Someone actually thinks that he's asking too much from God. I can imagine him pray like this, 'God, I know it's too much but can I see my brother again? I can be alive or dead. You don't have to turn me into an angel. A few seconds is fine. Is it too much?'

He stared back into the vast gloomy afternoon sky and I realized that he wasn’t just staring. For the first time, I had seen his eyes filled with memories and hopes of that special someone. He was right when he said that God doesn’t have to turn him into an angel because he’s already an angel on earth.

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short update n__n will be posting the next chap in a few days

and, OMG!! I'm so SOOOOOOOOOO sory for the long wait! T~T

After my finals I wanted to stay away from lenghty typing for a while

I'm lazy like this, I apologize form the bottom of my heart m(_ _)m

thanks to those who expressed how much they missed my fic like jotwins0424, lovestrong, jotwinsshipper ♥ did i forget anyone? I'm forgetful..and lazy... to be me, yeah T_T

Thank you for reading and commenting on the previous chapter!

I hope this one doesn't disappoint for those who waited even though it's short and Donghyun-centric lol

jotwinsshipper thanks for wishing me luck! You  reading this fic is already enough for me. You don't have to say sorry TvT Thank you very much!

dellajoe thanks for liking my story~! I'm surprised you like this even tough you're not much into Boyfriend. I hope I had influenced you in some way to like this group :3