Mother’s POV

I was gently the thin but soft hair of my eldest son when a tear escaped my face. I was relieved that he was asleep already because I don’t want him to see me crying, even a single shed of tear. A few moments ago, he was sobbing uncontrollably while muttering sorry over and over. I kept on telling him that he has nothing to apologize for while I was controlling myself from breaking in front of him. When he was able to calm down after a few minutes, he held my hand as tightly as his little weak hands could.

“M-mom,” he breathed heavily. “Please tell dad not to be too hard on Kwangmin. He didn’t mean it. He was just sad because we weren’t there for his birthday.”

“YOUR birthday too,” I corrected and smiled gently. How can my son be thoughtful like this after suffering too much?

He laughed a little, “I know. But Kwangmin needs love and care too.”

“My Youngmin is so kind,” I caressed his hair, letting him feel how much of an angel he is. “Youngmin...why don’t you want to tell Kwangmin about-“

“He doesn’t need to know mom,” he cut me off. I will never really understand why Youngmin would want to keep something like this to Kwangmin. It could actually salvage their relationship as brothers. If Kwangmin would know about this, I’m sure his view about his brother will completely change.

“Alright...I won’t ask anymore if that’s what you want.”

“Thank you mom,” he smiled tiredly. I hummed a few songs because he told me it never fails to make him feel at peace. It didn’t take long before he fell asleep.

I went out of the room as quiet as possible to not wake him up and headed straight to the living room. My husband was sitting solemnly with his right hand massaging his forehead. I sat beside him on the couch, feeling the same pain he feels.

“I’m such a worthless mother...”

He sighed and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, “Don’t say that...you’ve been really, really great.”

“Great? Great? I can’t take the pain away from my eldest son and I can’t take the sadness away from my youngest son. Is this what you call great?” The frustration and grief that I’ve been hiding whenever I’m with Youngmin instantly poured out as soon as my husband embraced me. “I feel so sorry for both of them! I don't know what to do!”

“Sshh...nobody wanted this to happen. And if you had a choice, Youngmin wouldn’t be sick...Kwangmin would have all the attention that he wants...we’d live like a normal family. But even though our situation is like this, it doesn’t mean we can’t be happy. Didn’t we promise to do our best for our family?”

During times like this, words can’t express how thankful I am because he’s here to carry half of my burden. “About what the doctor had said...”

“I’ll talk to Kwangmin about it, don’t worry. Now, let’s go to sleep okay?”

“Okay...”

Kwangmin’s POV

I wasn’t able to sleep the whole night. I kept on thinking about my miserable life and how to get out of this misery. I don’t understand why I have to suffer so much when my brother’s the one in pain. From time to time, I would glance at the Pokeball my father placed on top of my desk. It was Youngmin’s gift. A gift I didn’t want to accept. The more I look at it, the more my feelings get confused and mixed up. I glanced at my window and noticed that the sun has risen already which is a total contrast to my dark, heavy feelings. Soon after, one of the maids knocked on my door, informing me that breakfast is served. I didn’t want to receive another scolding from my biased parents so I decided to go down against my will. As soon as I reached the dining hall, the three of them were already seated and they were obviously waiting for me. My father was looking at me sternly and my mother was giving me a sympathetic look that I disgust so much. Youngmin was just staring at his lap although I can’t help but notice his eyes would nervously glance at me then avert instantly.

“Kwangmin, take your seat. I’ll be discussing something important.”

I followed my father’s order and sat in my usual place. The food suddenly looked more interesting than any of my family members’ faces so I decided to stare at it as I wait for whatever my father has to say.

“We’re going to America.”

I couldn’t help but turn my head towards him because of his sudden announcement. Did my parents plan a family trip thinking it could help restore our relationship? Sorry but I saw through your plans. “I’m not in a mood for some vacation. I’ll just stay here in Korea.”

“It’s not a vacation Kwangmin,” this time, it was my mother who spoke in a gentler manner. “We’re going to live there for as long as it is necessary.”

“Necessary for what?”

“For Youngmin’s treatment.”

I looked at Youngmin in disbelief and saw him bowing his head as low as he can to avoid my stare. I should have known it. I should have known this was for Youngmin again. And now that I know, I won’t let myself get dragged to this.

“If it’s for Youngmin’s treatment then why should I come?”

My parents gasped, “What kind of question is that Kwangmin?” my father’s voice was beginning to raise a notch. “We’re a family! Of course we’re supposed to go together. Do you expect us to leave you here?”

I shrugged and gave a short bitter chuckle, “What difference would it make for me? You’ve always left me alone I’m sure I can manage. I have uncle and a dozen of maids anyway.”

“You’re unbelievable! Why can’t you think about your brother for once?!”

My father’s question just triggered another bomb inside me. I stood from my chair quickly causing it to produce a noisy scratch on the floor, “Why can’t you think about me for once?! I have school! I have friends! I have a life here! You’re just telling me to leave all of that?”

“So you’re telling me that they are more important than your own family?!”

“Well-“

“Stop!”

The three of us looked at the source of the voice which was Youngmin. He was still staring down and he was shaking a bit. “Please stop...”

“Youngmin...” my mother was about to hold him but he placed a hand in front of her, giving her the signal that he can handle it.

“Father...” he continued, “Kwangmin is right. He has a life here too. If I was in his place I’d be sad if I would suddenly have to leave everything I love behind. If he wants to stay, then...let him stay.”

I can’t help but be stunned over his words again. Is this one of his tricks again to make him look even more pitiful? I have to commend him for sounding so convincing I almost believed him.

“You won’t be able to make me go there no matter what you say. I’ll stay here.” I excused myself from the dining table without even touching any food and went back to my only sanctuary, my room.

Youngmin’s POV

The day of our dreaded flight to America finally came. Even though I didn’t want to leave, the doctor advised my parents to continue my treatment in America where they have a more extensive research and more equipped hospitals for cancer patients like me. Honestly speaking, I didn’t want to go there and even voiced it out to my parents. They thought that I was disagreeing because they know how much I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. But the real reason was I knew Kwangmin wouldn’t agree to come. I was 100% sure he doesn’t want anything to do with this. And I didn’t want to leave him behind. I want to see him grow, reach for his dreams, and be happy. Even if I wouldn’t be able to experience those things myself, I want Kwangmin’s happiness to be my happiness too.

Obviously, it would be impossible to say those things to my parents.

Before we left the house, I remembered the last conversation I had with him.

He was sitting in front of his desk, reading a novel. I smiled thinking that his love for reading never changed.

“Kwangmin-ah...” as expected, no answer from him. “I just want to say goodbye. I’m so sorry for all the trouble that I had put you through. And I’m sorry for taking our parents away from you again. But don’t worry. I’ll do my best to recover fast so that we’ll be back in no time-“

My heart almost jumped out of my ribcage when he suddenly closed the book hardly with a loud thud. He stood from his chair and approached me face to face. “Don’t worry? I’m not worrying Youngmin. I don’t care if you’ll go back or not. It would be better if you won’t come back though. I can live a life on my own so mind your own business.”

As soon as he passed through me, I couldn’t help but let the tears fall from my eyes. “Kwangmin,” I could hear him stop from his tracks, “One day when I get better, you’ll play with me right?”

“Never.”

And with that, we parted without hearing a goodbye from him.

“Youngmin, are you okay?” my mother asked me worriedly. We are now currently waiting for our flight which would be about 20 minutes from now.

“Don’t worry mom, I’m okay. But I’m thinking about Kwangmin...maybe the two of you shouldn’t have left him.”

She sighed, “But who would take care of my poor baby?”

“I’m going to a better hospital mom. There would be lots of doctors and nurses to take care of me and make sure I’m safe. I think Kwangmin needs you more now.” I tried to sound tough and unaffected but I knew my mother would see through me. She would know how afraid I would be if I have to face this without them. But what is my fear compared to the deep loneliness Kwangmin feels inside?

“You know that you’ll be undergoing a more intensive treatment right? We want to be there with you especially during the painful times. Your brother is a strong child. Someday, he would understand.”

I really hoped my mother was right. I prayed with all my might that someday, Kwangmin would be waiting for me to come home.

Kwangmin’s POV

“Young master Kwangmin, your brother has left a letter for you. He asked me to give it to you,” the maid said.

“Throw it away.”

“B-but young master-“

“I said throw that thing away!”

“I’ll handle this,” I heard my uncle talk to my maid before getting the letter from her. “Kwangmin, I would leave this letter in your drawer okay? Read it when you’re ready.”

When I heard him leave the room, I went towards my drawer to throw that letter away myself. But when I got a hold that worthless paper, I suddenly felt my heart sinking and my tears falling. The reality of Youngmin and my parents being far away finally get a hold of me. Unconsciously, I returned the paper back and closed the drawer. For now, I would let myself cry until I have no more tears to shed. Tomorrow would be a better day. I promised to myself.

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Thanks to everyone who showed interest either by reading, commenting and subscribing TvT

and sorry for the late update. summer vacation is over in our country which means back to school