Kwangmin’s POV

As soon as our lips connected I could feel electricity travelling throughout the neurons of my body. I felt tingly and excited up to the tip of my fingers. Youngmin stiffened under me and he still probably had his eyes opened but I’m not sure because I didn’t dare to open mine. His hands clutched the fabric of my sweater but I can still feel that he was rigidly nervous. When I finally opened my eyes and detached my lips from his, I saw his questioning eyes and it just made me feel weak. I realized I wasn’t ready to face it, whatever this is.

“Kwangmin?”

I could feel a thousand of questions just from that utterance alone so I decided to just lay beside him and hug him tightly.

Please don’t ask me anything. I don’t understand myself either. Please just let me stay like this...

He was still lying vertically and unmoving even though I had buried my face on his neck, inhaling his sweet scent in the process. Please let me stay like this.

Youngmin’s POV

When Kwangmin hovered over me to feel each other’s heartbeats, I felt that my heart was going to explode at the rate it was beating. When he kissed me, everything just went out the window. I grabbed his shirt for support because I felt that I was going to melt if I had nothing solid to hold on to. When he separated his lips from mine, I wanted to ask him many things. Why did you kiss me? Does it mean anything? Were you just messing up with my feelings? But all I could bring myself to utter was his name. The look he gave me after I said that was similar to someone who had just woken up from a daydream. I thought he was going to run out of the room but he lied beside me and hugged me tightly instead. I couldn’t move and I found it hard to breathe. But please don’t go and stay like this.

Kwangmin’s POV

“The princess finally woke up after being kissed by the prince. The bad queen was defeated and the prince took the princess to his castle and lived happily ever after. The end.”

“How can a kiss wake someone up?”

“It’s a magical kiss. A true love’s kiss. Didn’t I tell you that?”

“.....I want to learn how to read too...Perhaps everything will make more sense.”

“I don’t know how to read too. I just read the pictures. And mom read this to me last night and I remembered some of the words.”

“I’ll learn how to read, then I’ll be the one reading for you.”

“Okay!”

*Click

I heard a few clicking sounds of a camera which made me open my eyelids even though they still feel really heavy. I was greeted with an iPhone a few inches from my face and the one holding it was no other than Minwoo. He smiled at me mischievously after he removed the phone away from my face, “Good morning Kwangminie~”

“You brat!” I was about to get up from bed and launch a deadly attack on Minwoo when I heard a soft grumble and felt an arm hugging me tighter on the waist. Youngmin had actually moved from his position last night and hugged me back whether consciously or unconsciously. He was still asleep but was a bit disturbed because of my sudden actions. I laid back on the bed, completely forgetting about the brat I was about to kill, which caused Youngmin to snuggle even closer and bury his head on my chest. I caressed his hair and just let him sleep for a little longer.

Minwoo’s POV

After calming myself down from laughing too much, I decided to look at the photos I took. I was just about to disturb the twins and I didn’t expect to find them in such position. As I observed the picture more, I realized that I had never seen Kwangmin looking so peaceful and innocent like this. And he was hugging Youngmin like he was protecting the most important thing in his life. This proves that the bitterness he felt as a child might have left him already...but I think his feelings had stepped up one level more than where it should be.

Kwangmin, I hope you know what you’re doing.

Kwangmin’s POV

I woke up for the second time of the day feeling soft hands running over my hair. I opened my eyes and what I saw was definitely better from what greeted me earlier in the morning.

“Good morning Kwangmin,” it took me a few seconds for my system to respond to his greeting because I was literally frozen by the angel-like beauty in front of my eyes. I sat up silently without taking my eyes off of him.

“About last night-”

“You don’t have to worry about it,” he cut me off.

“A-Are you sure you don’t want to ask?”

He just brought out that brilliant smile of his which always leave me breathless, “Right now, nothing else matters. I just want to enjoy this trip with you and the others. If you want to say something to me, say it without holding anything back. If you’re not yet ready or if your mind is still a mess, I’m willing to wait.”

I had realized how lost I actually was at the moment. Yet he always manages to glue me back to my sanity. I searched for his hand in the bed sheet and grasped it as gentle as his smile, “Please wait till I sort my feelings out.”

He beamed and ruffled my hair, “Of course my little brother~”

“I’m not little and we’re twins,” I deadpanned.

“You’re still younger!”

“Like six minutes make much of a difference...”

After lunch we all went outside to play outdoor games. Even our parents joined us in making a giant snowman. Youngmin and I were definitely having the time of our lives because this was something we had never experienced in our childhood. He was more vocal with his feelings though while I chose to just bottle my happiness inside. Whenever he slips on the snow or bumps his clumsy body into something, my mom will be all worried while he would just laugh it off. If only I knew back then how enchanting his smile could get...

“Youngmin-ah, Minwoo and I are going to make a snowman. Do you want to join?” I suddenly frowned when Donghyun-hyung approached him.

Youngmin just gave him a nervous smile and he couldn’t even look at hyung in the eyes like he always does, “Uhm...I’ll just follow you guys later.”

“Are you okay?”

Hyung was about to touch him but Youngmin backed away in an instant, “Look hyung...Minwoo’s waiting.”

Hyung stared at him apprehensively before leaving his spot to attend to Minwoo. As much as it relieves me that he has less skinship with hyung, I can’t help but be confused and worried with his actions. He had been avoiding hyung since this morning and I know hyung notices it too. And I just can’t take it everytime he will look down when hyung turns his back and the longing look he gives when he sees hyung with Minwoo.

Youngmin placed his hands inside the pockets of his coat while trying to kick the snow sluggishly.

“Why are you avoiding hyung?”

His eyes widened and then tried to look as if I had something ridiculous, “What are you talking about? I’m just not in the mood to make a snowman.”

“Not buying it. You’re practically excited about everything.”

He kicked the snow again, “But I’m just not in the mood...”

From our spot, I could hear Minwoo’s loud laughter, “Hyung! What are you doing?!”

“I’m going to make this Mr. Snowman U.K. Style!”

Youngmin let out a soft sigh and he probably thought I didn’t hear it. Now everything seems to click to me.

“Are you jealous of Minwoo?”

“W-What?! I’m not!”

The way he denied it so heatedly made it sound like he meant the opposite. “You probably know Minwoo likes Donghyun-hyung right?”

“Yeah...I kinda realized it along the way. But I’m not jealous!”

I looked at him and scrutinized his expressions. He was trying to look firm but he lost the battle and heaved another sigh, “Alright I admit I’m a bit jealous...”

My heart sank and I felt colder inside. My eyes stung and I wanted to tell him to stop but I didn’t.

“Donghyun-hyung was the only one I had back then so I feel a little possessive over him. But that’s not really the problem...and Minwoo has nothing to do with this.”

“Then what?”

“Well...” his cheeks turned pinkish which made him look more adorable especially when he's wearing a beanie and cute ear muffs, “Didn’t you tell me that...”

“That?”

“That...ugh! Kwangmin! Weren’t you the one who told me that?!”

“Told you what?”

He faced me completely while scowling, “You...You told me you were jealous of Donghyun-hyung too!”

“Oh...” I stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds before everything sank to my head. “Oh...Oh my god!” I couldn’t help but laugh over the matter that was bothering him.

“Why are you laughing?! You’re unbelievable!” He punched my arm and pushed me not-so-lightly but I still can’t stop myself from laughing. I had never expressed this much amusement before. After a few minutes I noticed that he had stopped from his actions. I look at him and he was still frowning, “I took your words seriously, you know? Were you just trying to make fun of me?”

I was laughing because I found his actions really cute. But the fact that he was sensitive over my feelings meant a lot to me.

“I was serious about that too.”

“Then why were you laughing?”

I grabbed both of his hands to pull him closer to me. I didn’t care anymore if anyone saw or if Minwoo will tease the hell out of me later as I caged him in my arms, “Could you get any more precious than this?”

He didn’t say anything and he probably found my words weird again. I let him go and prepared myself to say these things that I'm dreading to say, “If you like hyung and if it hurts you not being close to him I won’t interfere anymore. Besides,” I swallowed an imaginary lump in my throat, “I was just probably jealous because you two are really close while this brother of yours did nothing for you.”

“Kwangmin...is that what was bothering you?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t need to do anything for me. Your forgiveness is all I ever wished for.”

He made me feel unworthy again because of his pureness, “Even though you keep on saying that...you can’t deny the fact that I’ve been a jerk to you. I had hurt you a lot and I had wasted years that I could’ve spent together with you. You might be able to forgive me easily but I can’t forgive myself.” I looked down but he touched my face which made me look ashamedly at him.

“How about you start making up for the times lost instead of sulking over it?”

A smile formed on my lips and a foreign emotion swept over me.

Thank you. I’m sorry. I love you. The words I cannot bring myself to say.

We spent the rest of the trip visiting more places in the village and playing around like kids. My parents were overflowing with joy to see both of their sons finally spending time together after years of bitterness and separation.

“Kwangmin-ah, I’ve never seen you smile so much,” my mom once told me with her eyes b with tears.

When we got back to Seoul, I was actually nervous and afraid that everything will go back to the way it used to be. My feelings were really unstable and I don’t want to mess everything up. But one smile from Youngmin wiped all of my apprehensions away.

I went to my room to unpack my stuff and have some rest. As I was putting some memorabilia that I had bought from Gwangdo in one of my drawers, something caught my attention. It was the old and untouched letter - Youngmin’s letter. For the first time after five years, I picked the precious stuff carefully, afraid that it will crumble to dust. The image of a hopeless and pitiful Youngmin five years ago flashed in my mind. If I had read this letter back then, will my heart change even by just a bit? I placidly opened the brown envelope and took the piece of paper out. I unfolded the letter and I felt like I was opening untold feelings and yearnings from the heart. Youngmin’s messy handwriting greeted me yet it didn’t appear less beautiful than what I had expected. Because I know it took a lot of his efforts to write his feelings out.

Kwangminie

Hyung is sorry. I had made you upset again but please believe me that I did not want to hurt you.

I’m really sad because we are going far away from you.

Hyung really wanted to stay beside you and watch you always.

Even if I don’t get well it’s okay as long as Kwangmin is okay.

I will be strong so I can go back.

When I get back I hope Kwangmin can already forgive hyung so we can play together.

I also want to read more books with you. I want to study with you.

I want to go to school with you. I want to eat with you.

I want to create more memories with you.

So I hope God will listen and answer my many many many prayers

But if all else fails I just want to spend my last breath with you.

Because you are my special other half.

I believe that we are born together so we can always be there for each other.

Always remember that hyung loves you more than anything else in this world.

I want to write more but my hand is tired already...and so is my heart.

I will miss you.

Your stupid hyung, Youngmin

I ran to the other side of the wall that’s separating me from that someone who had brought so much love to me without me knowing it. When I opened the door to his room, he opened his mouth and was about to ask something but I immediately collected him in my arms and hugged him as tight as I could, “I promise you. I’ll make it up to you.” My other half.

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just a short update ^^

thanks for reading! All of your comments really made my day! 

I appreciate each and every one of you TvT

Vinseopdiva that sounds like a good idea^^ but i have the plots planned already i'll check if i can insert that kk

lovestrong thank you so much bb T~~~~T i really appreciate that!