Word count 2113

Party was ongoing as usual inside the house where all those 'extras' that came were jamming along with the music, food and alcohol. Outside however it was a different story. None of us felt the urge to party hard seeing the uncomfortable look on Wonbin's face. I mean he must have felt uncomfortable regarding how easily Minkyung just blurted out 'ex boyfriend'. It was oddly quiet and I must say I was mentally cursing myself for even turning up to the party when I knew my mom wouldn't be happy is she found out, I should have just stayed at home. Not just that, since I was the only one that knew Jonghun I kind of felt the need to get him out of there. However, words just wouldn't come out my mouth and it was indeed frustrating not to mention the current atmosphere at the back garden.

So I'm guessing this is what it feels like introducing a past relationship to the new partner. Honestly I'm glad I've never done that before I mean I don’t think I can go through the awkward silence with the person I’m going out with. At this moment I was actually feeling kind of good about my past relationships not lasting long, yerh I know it’s nothing to feel good about but still. Since neither of us became so emotionally attached to each other it wasn’t so...how shall I put it, awkward. If we were close then why would I even break up with any of them? but then again can my relationships be called an actual relationship?
 
"Why is everyone so quite? Have you never had a girl introduce her ex boyfriend to you before?" Well at least Minkyung was making an attempt to break off the ice.  Well actually she should as she created it in the first place. To her question Heechul hyung let out a very NOT SO OBVIOUS laugh and I followed him. My laugh wasn't fake though as I was actually laughing at Heenim for attempting a fake one. Honestly I know it was bad to laugh at someone during a situation like this but if you think about it this whole thing didn’t involve me or Heenim, so it’s ok to laugh right? He sounded like a man in drag pretending to be a posh British granny...too much? Well soon after everyone was pretty much normal except for Jonghun I must say, he looked rather confused and...hurt maybe, interesting.
 
Anyway it is after all a party and parties involve at least one brave individual that insists on the daring things. That is usually me but today as an exception for some odd reason it happened to be Jaejin, hmm interesting.  . "Wonbin hyung, we've yet to see you two kiss. I mean if that is ok with you of course" Jaejin really is interesting sometimes I mean who would have thought he had the courage to say something like that out the blue. Although he said that last bit glancing at Jonghun and Minkyung as if secretly asking if they were ok. Maybe he had forgotten the odd feeling that was upon us a few minutes ago and then suddenly remembered after asking them, idiot. Not even giving either one of them a chance to speak Wonbin had already landed his lips on hers. Minkyung was surprised at first but complied, however Jonghun on the other hand didn't even blink once. It looked like he was lost in time and I also noticed how he was his hands on either side of his, he was baring it cold heartedly that’s for sure.
 
Pulling and pushing along with a few lame Jokes we went on for about an hour and it was now a little over midnight. Those partying inside the house were bidding their goodbyes one by one and dragging themselves out the door and all these time I couldn't help but feel worried over how Jonghun was behaving.   He was quietly drowning himself with alcohol and was now on the edge of being drunk. Minkyung on the other hand was being normal which isn't so bad right? Wonbin however was being too lovey dovey and it was creepy, she wasn't too happy about it either I guess I mean from the way she sometimes glared at him I came to that conclusion. Jaejin and Tina noona were long lost upstairs somewhere not minding the world around them, how typical. Minhwan had long been gone, one of his friends took him home aw bless. Seunghyun was...wait right now he is flirting with one of my past hook ups friends not that I care anyway. As long as she wasn't one like the one I hooked up with it was all right. I wouldn’t willingly allow one of my dears to be messed with you get me? Heenim was busy with a few of his friends and truthfully I thought at least he was having some fun.
 
Not deciding to stay any longer I decided to leave earlier than I usually do. Dragging Jonghun up with me not minding his get the off me look I said "cummon we're leaving". I went up to Wonbin and said we're leaving and the reason was that my mom was having one of her mood swings. He understood as soon as I've said that as we all knew how scary she can be at times. When we were heading out my eyes wandered over to Seunghyun and I saw him looking at us. He had a blank expression on and kept glancing at Jonghun and me. I waved at him and pulled Jonghun out the door.  Walking through the streets along with Jonghun I couldn't help but think about the last time when he cried his sorrows and I listened.  I let go off his hand once we had gotten to a safe distance away from Wonbin’s house.
 
"Hongkiyaa...thanks"
 
"What for?"
 
"Getting me out of there...I don't know what I would have done if you left me in there for even a minute longer". I was wondering why Jonghun was acting in such a way but summing up all the signs he gave me it was pretty clear that Jonghun wasn't over Minkyung yet and I must say I somehow was not happy about it. How long does it take to get over a girl, a few days max right? In my case it doesn’t even take a bloody day as I end it first so I shouldn’t be sad.  That’s right didn’t Jonghun dump that Minkyung girl? Yet he is frowning, what an idiot.
 
"She's my...WAS my first...love. Can it be called...love? I don't know" he let out a heavy sigh after that and I couldn't help but feel all bitter. Maybe it’s because I have never been in love so I have no idea what he is feeling right now. Heenim once told me that it feels like someone is stabbing your heart nonstop and then stepping on it, I don't know if he was making a fool out of me but since it was Heenim who said it I decided to believe him.

“When my parents passed away she was the only one I had but soon I started realising that she stuck around out of pity. I hate being looked down on with pitiful eyes. She kept texting her so called friend Wonbin and she stopped coming down to my house like the way she used to.  When she did come down she kept a good distance away from me to prevent me from touching her. At first I didn’t understand why she kept refusing me when in the past there were times when she insisted. When I called her phone she was always busy.  She was slowly becoming further apart from me and I couldn’t take it any longer. I knew I was being selfish holding onto her and so when I finally let go, she didn’t even shed a tear. She is not a bad person, Minkyung wouldn’t have stayed is she was, she would have left me long ago. She didn’t want to see me getting hurt, not when she knew how bad I was hurting already and so she stayed knowing she wasn’t doing the right thing. I didn’t know the Wonbin she mentioned as her friend was your friend Wonbin and if I knew I wouldn’t have agreed to come”.
 

Well I must say I had no clue that Jonghun was in such a...I don’t know. It made me want to give him a big hug like how my Heenim hugs me sometimes when I’m feeling down. Warmth from your loved ones can cure any discomfort your feeling but I couldn’t give Jonghun a hug. I couldn’t hug him simply because I don’t know if I am a loved one to him. He may find it awkward and so I decided to just carry on walking along with him by my side.

"It hurts here Hongki... I don't know what it is. Make it go away" he stopped walking and was now holding his chest and I was nearing panic stage. Was he having a heart attack or something? Should I call an ambulance? He looked worse than a homeless man at this point and it was indeed hard to watch. Jonghun had always been so...perfect?  I don't know what came over me as the next thing I know my right hand replaced Jonghun's over his chest. I was softly rubbing his chest kind of like an attempt to make the pain go away. You know like when we accidently hurt our elbow we rub on it to make the pain go, just like that. He was staring at me and I could feel it. Almost like in cartoons when a bad day approaches there's always a small cloud only above the particular person, it felt like that. Jonghuns stare was building up above my head like a cloud about to burst into rain.
 
"You've never been in love have you?"
 
I don't know why he was asking me that all of a sudden and if I'm not mistaken his extra sad emotional expression changed and that silly smirk of his was back on. Still rubbing his chest softly I said "I...guess n...not". Why the hell was I stuttering all of a sudden? Well if falling in love involves me having to rub my chest all the time then I don't think I ever want to fall in love, even the thought is creepy enough.
 
"I guessed right I mean otherwise you wouldn't be doing this right now"
 
What did he mean by that? Just then he pointed towards my right hand rubbing his chest oh so softly and I quickly retracted my hands realising what I've been doing. My face flushed a colour of pink and my ears turned red...how embarrassing. He was laughing at me and I couldn't help but look away feeling weird.

“Cute” he said
 
"Shut up you prune head"    
 
 "oh someone’s mad"
 
"Shut up shut up shut up shut up go away" with that I knew I was boiling up inside. Yes I know I get angry quickly but I didn't for a second think I would get angry at this. I was going to walk him home but since he decided to laugh at me when I was actually trying to help him I just walked away. He was jogging up behind me but I don't know why and I couldn’t help but feel so annoyed right now.
 
"Yah where are you going? Don't be mad...sorry ok"
 
"I said shut up didn't I? Quit following" I was speeding up but he kept following me but just when I was going to curse at him he asked "wanna go eat ice cream?" Ptschh that idiot, no matter how hard I tried to keep my angry posture I soon gave into his option and nodded like a cute little puppy. Wow the things ice cream can do I thought, well I can’t help if they are my favourite thing to eat. With that he caught up right next to me and swung his right arm around my shoulders and shouted "let's gooo" just like a silly messed up teenager. He was running and laughing while blurting out a few random phrases even now and then, dragging me along with him. I couldn't help but smile and soon I was repeating what he was doing, screaming and laughing that is. At least he is feeling better now I thought forgetting completely how angry I was a few minutes ago.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2_ScUztnCQ&feature=related

^ a God damn cute video of Hongstar <3 OMG lol