I trudged my way to Hyewon's house while riding my car, which is... across my house.

Yep, she's my neighbor.

Lucky , she has a loving umma and appa. Plus a cute lil brother that I love to play with.

I'm basically a part of their family. 

I join their trips, family outings, dinner and other stuff. They like me.

Well, they're not aware that I'm a queenka anyway. Cuz I'm different when I'm with them. I smile a lot, laugh a lot, I talk sweetly, and act like a good girl whenever they are around. 

I'm not a two-faced okay?!

It's just, I feel comfortable with them.

They make me feel like I am one of them. And they see through me, they see me as their child, their daughter's bestfriend and sister, and their son's older sister and playmate.

And I love them for that, but i still feel incomplete.

Anyway...back to the trudging on the way to Hyewon's house.

I opened the front door without even pushing the doorbell. HAHAHA. I'm so badass. 

"Yo Hyewon I'm home!" I hollered.

No answer.

"Yahhh! Umma? Appa? Little Leo? Where you at?!" I called out. (a/n: Leo is hyewon's lil bro)

Still no answer.

Damn it. 

Then someone texted me.

Unnie~ We're grocery shopping and eating dinner outside. If  you, by any chance came inside our house right now. Hihi. See you at school tomorrow! I'm sorry I ditched you. You ditched me awhile ago too. Saranghae~ <3 -Hyewon

Aish. You babo. You didn't even lock your front door.

Oh well, looks like I'm gonna spend this night all by myself.

I carried myself back to my home and parked my car. Back to my ing three-storey ghost house.

And now I'm singing.. All by myself! Don't wanna be all by my self! (a/n: listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OONm1xbf_bA skip to 0:52)

Made my way up to my room, which practically, is the whole second floor.

And looked at myself in the mirror.

Oh god, I, Kim Yujin, am crying right now.

I look like a mess.

My school uniform's dirty. My hair's undone. I've got dirt all over my face. I have blood on my hands.

Yup, I'm a mess. A big mess. 

There were a couple of wounds and bruises on my face. Them es are quite strong, but I'm stronger I thought to myself.

I cleaned my wounds, got a loooong hot shower and changed into jogging pants and a sweatshirt. I feel like a ing ahjumma, great.

I climbed my bed, and decided to sleep.

After 3 hours... I'm still awake. I keep on tossing and turning. I just can't go to sleep.

Oh this! I'm going up to the rooftop!

I got my phone, went down to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of vodka and made my way upstairs to the rooftop.

The view's nice. I can see streetlights and nightlife ahead. But I'm not in the mood to go out and have some fun.

Oh well, I opened the bottle and drank half the contents inside.

When I feel like I'm already sober I shouted,

"I HATE YOU DAD! I HATE YOU FOR LEAVING ME ALL ALONE! I HATE YOU FOR NOT FILLING IN MOM'S PLACE! I HATE YOU! HOW COULD YOU BLOW ME OFF LIKE THAT!"

Damn right I shouted all the pain and hatred I have in my heart. 5 years and still I am ing bitter.

"OH AND MOM, I HATE YOU TOO. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME SO EARLY? I FEEL SO HELPLESS MOM! I GOT EVERYTHING I GIRL COULD ASK FOR BUT I. AM. NOT. HAPPY! GET YOUR BACK HERE AND TAKE CARE OF ME MOM! PLEASE.. PLEASE GET BACK HERE..."

That's when I cried myself out.

I feel so alone.

Forever alone. Lol.

I looked up the sky and I saw a ing shooting star. 

Great. Shooting stars...wait. This is the part where I wish for something right? 

Okay, I got this...

"God, give me someone.. Someone who will help me get through this, aside from my bestfriend. Someone who will take care of me. One person isn't enough for me. She has a family to take care of too you know. Please give me another person to share my life with."

I'm crying like a right now.

I really want to wish for my mom, but that will not come true.

So I just drank all the remaining contents of the bottle 

...and said goodnight to myself.

And yup, I'm sleeping on the roof.

It's not actually a roof, it's actually cement because our house looks like a building so yea...

I should be sleeping right? Okay night .