A/N: So, since I took so long updating the last chapter, I'll give you a treat and update the next one fast :)) Have fun and leave a commetn :)

 

 

Chapter 6

 

I dreaded walking back to them. I felt so ashamed, and on top of that, I also felt like none of them thought of me as someone desirable anymore (if they had done so before). What was desirable of a woman that went tomato when talking about ? I also couldn't believe that I had actually made it clear that I wanted Jaejoong. They were just joking, and I took them seriously. Why was I so damn naïve all of a sudden?

 

I sighed and got up. I couldn't stay hidden. I was an adult. I could handle things. I walked with confidence until I was in front of the door. I faltered.

 

“You're not going in?” I heard the manager's voice behind me. I hadn't heard him coming.

 

“Sure” I said, turning. “I was just making sure it was the correct room.”

 

He nodded slightly and I turned around and opened the door before he could say anything. They were all there already. I saw their mouths twitch into smiles and then go back to normal as they saw the manager. I was thankful for his presence. They wouldn't bother me as long as he was here.

 

They didn't have time anyways. They practiced and re-practiced choreographies I thought were already perfect. The choreographer pushed them hard. But despite repeating over and over again, they never said a word of protest. I sat there, for hours, watching them grow more and more exhausted. If it had been my choice, I'd have let them go home a long time ago. When they finally took a short break and I gave everyone water, they didn't have the energy to look up at me. I realized that they hadn't slept more than six hours for weeks and the last night had been less than two. Plus, they'd practiced literally from dawn till dusk, always having to be top concentrated. I didn't know how they had been able to dance for hours before.

 

“Can I help you?” I asked Junsu, who was spread out on the floor and hadn't moved for minutes.

 

“You can just leave him” said Yunho, who was leaning on the wall close to Junsu. “He'll be alright.”

 

I considered this for a second and then nodded. The leader knew s better than anyone, I'd come to know that for sure. He seemed to be in better shape than the others, he was still sitting straight, not like the other four. But still, when he closed his eyes and relaxed his muscles, I could see the exhaustion.

 

The manager had left after an hour or so and had left me alone with them and the choreographer. Somehow they all got up again and continued practicing. Although they were so exhausted that even walking was hard, they still danced with precision and passion. I stared and shook my head as their sweaty bodies moved in unison to the beat of the music, never missing a move

 

It was long past midnight when the choreographer was satisfied. But even when he left the room, the five of them were still standing in the middle of the room, panting, sweat dripping from their faces and hair.

 

I got up and walked over to them hurriedly. Jaejoong was closest, so I went to him first.

 

“Hey, practice is finished” I said, “We can leave now.”

 

He nodded, but kept his head down, not moving. His chest was heaving. I shook him and told him to leave, but he wouldn't move. He just had enough energy to stand. I went to the others, but they were the same. When I shook Changmin, he even gasped out of pain. Oh God, I thought.

 

After I'd shaken Yunho for some time, he seemed to wake up. He nodded to me and it hurt seeing the exhaustion plain on his face. He, the one who was so calm and reserved and never let out an emotion he didn't want others to see. Somehow he managed to wake the others up and I gathered all their stuff, five bags, and my own, because I knew they wouldn't be able to do so themselves.

 

I tried calling the manager, but he only sent me a message that I should drive them home. I was frustrated, because I didn't know what to do. Yunho was the only one who wasn't a walking zombie, but I guessed opening doors was too much to ask of him. When I watched him take a step I just wanted him to stop and lie down.

 

My heart ached. There hadn't been a need for them to work so hard. No one would have noticed Yoochun being half a step too far in the back or Changmin spreading out his hand instead of making a fist. I wanted to yell at the choreographer for this, for asking for perfection when there was no need at all for it.

 

I opened the practice room door and let them out, then closed it again. It was a long procedure, because I had to lay down all the bags and pick them up again. The bags were heavier than anything I'd ever carried and I felt exhausted when we reached the elevator. Still, I had more energy than them. I'd slept a lot and hadn't been moving all evening.

 

Somehow, I can't remember how, we made it to the car. I actually needed to push them inside, otherwise they might have stayed in the parking all night. I loaded the bags into the trunk and got in. When I looked back into the car, they were already asleep. I started the car as quiet as possible.

 

It was the hardest thing to wake them up. Not just because they were in deep sleep, but because I just wanted them to continue sleeping with all my heart. It took half an hour to reach the door to the apartment. Inside, I was at a loss. They were just standing there, again. They needed to sleep, but they were still fully dressed and even Yunho seemed to be too weak to move.

 

I started with taking off their shoes, one by one, then leading them to their bedroom, one by one, taking off their shirts, one by one, and then pushed them onto their beds. They were asleep as soon as they hit the pillow.

 

When finally they were all sleeping, I checked the time. 4:33 am. They manager would be here by 6:30. Barely two hours of sleep would be granted to them. I thought about going home, but it wouldn't make sense. I'd have to take a taxi, would be able to sleep for an hour and then have to come back here.

 

I crashed on the couch, just using a blanket I found. Before I lay down, I put my phone alarm on 6:20. I fell asleep after realizing that I'd taken off their shirts without blushing at all.

 

When my alarm went off, I felt like I hadn't slept at all. I stared at the ceiling. I was so tired. But it didn't matter, because I probably wasn't half as tired as the members would be. I put my blanket back where I'd found it and went to the bathroom to freshen up. I realized that I hadn't taken my make-up off and looked like a koala bear. Thankfully, there was make-up remover lying around, since they used make-up too.

 

I didn't bother putting anything on again. I couldn't just use theirs anyways. It was just before half past six and I decided to give the boys the few minutes left to sleep. Instead, I went into the kitchen and made coffee. I had only been here a couple of times, the longest when the alcohol incident had happened, so I didn't know where what was. I found the coffee in one of the cupboards and started the coffee machine.

 

It was then that the manager unlocked the front door and entered. I heard ruffling as he took off his shoes and then a 'Huh', probably as he realized there was a female pair of shoes. I left the kitchen to greet him.

 

“Good morning–“ I said, but he interrupted.

 

“YOU!” he shouted. I cringed at the loud words.

 

“What the heck are you doing here? Did you...? No, you wouldn't dare, you little brat. You wouldn't dare to smile at me like you did, right?”

 

I realized what he must think of this situation, finding a female in a flat full of males.

 

“No, sir, I'm sorry you got confused, but it wasn't like that at all. We just came home late yesterday, so I decided to sleep on the couch instead of getting a cab back. It just saved a lot of time.”

 

“Whatever your reasons, how can a girl stay in a dorm with just boys? God, if someone knows of this...”

 

“But sir, they were all sleeping, they are still. And I'm sure none of them will tell. I doubt they remember what happened yesterday anyway.”

 

He squinted at me, but then just turned around and went into Yunho's room. I could hear him say “Hey Yunho, get up, it's stage rehearsal today.” I went into the kitchen again, pouring the now finished coffee into six cups. After a moment of consideration, I poured another cup. There wasn't a lot in each of them, but I guessed it would have to be enough before the next serving was finished.

 

After a few minutes I could hear footsteps that weren't the manager's, who'd ended up in Changmin's room. It was Yunho's head I saw appearing from the hallway. He stopped short when he saw me.

 

“What are you doing here?” he asked groggily.

 

“I made coffee” I said and held out a cup. He took it slowly, still staring at me like he was seeing me for the first time.

 

“But, how... why are you here?”

 

“Do you remember how you came home last night?” I asked.

 

He started saying something, but then frowned instead.

 

“Not really” he said then. After a few seconds, his face lightened up.

 

“It was you, right?”

 

I smiled and nodded. “Yeah. It was too late to go home, though, so I slept on the couch. Anyway, you should go shower before the others wake up.”

 

I pushed him out of the kitchen, just lightly. It was more of a suggestion than an act, but he just turned around and entered the bathroom. I drank my own coffee while waiting for the others to appear, but none of them showed. I considered getting them myself, but the manager would fire me immediately if I did so, I knew.

 

It was 6:45 when Yunho left the bathroom. He was only wearing a towel around his waist. His chest was still a bit wet. I noticed how muscular it was, how defined the muscles were. I saw a bit of his back as well. It was so smooth, probably smoother than my own. He turned around to me, and that was when I noticed that I was staring at him.

 

“Eh...” I stammered when he looked at me. Oh God, I can't stop looking. I need to stop, how can I keep looking? But I couldn't stop. Instead, I noticed my cheeks flush again.

 

He looked at me for a second, surprised, and then began to blush. He actually blushed.

 

“I'm sorry, um, I forgot you were here. I'll... I'll just...” He turned around and went into his room.

 

I kept staring at the door. Now he must surely think of me as a ert. I couldn't believe I'd actually stared at his body. I could hear my father's voice in my head, telling me how impolite and rude I'd been. But my father wasn't here, so he couldn't give me the speech I deserved. I went back to the kitchen.

 

I couldn't believe how much I was screwing things up lately. Starting from the alcohol, over the leaving of the practice room, to staring at Yunho. Damn girl, what's wrong with you? I heard a door open and thought I'd be Yunho's, but it was Yoochun who was going into the bathroom. A few moments later, Jaejoong came out of his room and went into the bathroom as well.

 

I was shocked for a second, thinking that they were in the bathroom at the same time. Being raised so conservative, this was unheard of. But I wondered if it wasn't normal for guys (or girls) to share a bathroom. However, after about a minute the door opened again and Jaejoong entered the hallway again. He came into the kitchen then.

 

When he was in the door frame, he looked at me sleepily. At first he seemed to find it completely normal that I was in his kitchen at not even 7 am, but then his eyes widened and he looked down on himself. I did the same then, out of reflex, and regretted it. He was wearing only boxers. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed before. It's that I can't stop looking at his face, I thought, but I pushed the thought away the instant I thought it.

 

“What the...” he said, before he sprinted into his bedroom.

 

God. I need to get out of here. I had seen more half- bodies in a week than in my whole life. I went into the living room to avoid any more awkward encounters. For the next half an hour I kept myself busy with preparing the day. Since I had been charged with transportation, I needed to know the way to the stadium. There was an itinerary attached to the other documents and there would be a GPS in the car for once, but still. This wasn't the time for mistakes and making them arrive late. I also memorized the schedule by heart. I did this just because I had nothing else to do.

 

During all this time, I heard people walking about and around and talking in quiet voices. I packed my things back into my backpack and dared entering the kitchen again. There was empty if not for the coffee cups. Most of them were empty as well and I noticed that only a bit remained in the second serving of coffee. I rinsed the cups and the coffeepot. And then, to my horror, Jaejoong entered again.

 

I didn't know how I was supposed to get over the awkwardness, ever. It was so present, it felt physical. He seemed to feel the same and didn't say a word. Looking at his face, I saw the tiredness, resulting of the last weeks and days of constant work.

 

“Thanks for the coffee” he said finally, and shuffled off.

 

The manager called everyone into the living room then. Each one of them was finally ready. They looked extremely exhausted, not much better than before they'd slept. I stood next to Junsu. Not in ten years would I stand next to Yunho or Jaejoong at this moment.

 

“Ok guys, today will be very busy, but I want to make sure you all will keep your mouths shut about last night. Shinae never stayed here, she went home and came back here, okay? I don't need to tell you about the scandal that would break out if the wrong person knew of this. We're already in a fragile position.”

 

He didn't look at me, but I knew his words were meant for me. How was it me that was at fault? I hadn't done anything wrong to deserve this. But it wasn't the time to say, it would never be, unless I wanted to quit. So I bit my teeth together and stared at the floor.

 

We left the apartment shortly after that and the silence between us was uncomfortable. I didn't know how to approach them anymore. I'd found respect for them I hadn't expected I would have, but everything that had happened just made things plain weird.

 

“Okay” said the manager before we boarded the car, “I'll be briefing you on the press conference during the trip, so make sure you don't fall asleep.”

 

He eyed Junsu especially, who was just yawning. And really, while I was driving, he was talking non-stop about things that could be said, things that couldn't and those that if they were mentioned would have real consequences. I didn't say a word during the whole trip, and neither did the band members, except for the occasional “yes”.

 

I found the way without a problem and was happy that I had taken this first hurdle of the day. On the other hand, I found it a bit weird to talk about the press conference before rehearsals had even begun, but I wouldn't say that. After I'd parked the car, I jumped out and opened the door for the guys. The manager had already got off the car and when I closed the door he told the guys to wait a second and pulled me aside,

 

“What is it, sir?” I asked, although I already had ideas of what it was.

 

“You” he said, staring me down, “I don't know how you got this job, but if you screw up one more time, you're done here, okay? The boss won't let any more incidents slide, he said so himself.”

 

His tone was deadly, and at that moment I felt honestly scared of him. But I didn't show and nodded instead, as if I hadn't heard the threat.

 

“Of course, sir, I'm very sorry.” I bowed, and after a short moment, the manager left.

 

Relieved, I got the member's bags out of the trunk and handed them to them. When I'd started, I hadn't known which bag belonged to whom, but I'd come to know the kind of bag each member used, even if they used one I'd never seen before. I tried not to look at them. I still had the warning in my mind, that if I screw up one more time, I'd be done in SM. I pushed the thoughts of the unfairness of the whole situation aside and did my best the whole day.

 

And I really needed to. Although I didn't look them in the eyes, I could see from their bodies that they were not in shape for today's work. But since they couldn't not do it, I tried my best making it as comfortable for them as possible. I had water and towels ready after every time they had gone through a performance on stage. I brought vegetables and fruit from the buffet and made sure they had a quiet room for themselves as they ate lunch. I tried my best to keep updated on any changes, talking to the staff whenever I had a free second. That's how I found out, in the afternoon, just when the boys practiced the Hug unplugged version, that they wouldn't be able to rehearse the SM Town songs today, but would have to come back tomorrow.

 

“They had planned it all for today, but there are more delays than anticipated. We've had problems with the sound system. Make sure they're here tomorrow, you'll be able to get the new schedule this evening” said the staff member I talked to. He seemed stressed and I didn't dare to bother him more.

 

I called the manager instead and told him about the change in schedule. I hadn't seen him around since lunch.

 

“Damn, this is complicating things so much. I'll have to re-organize the complete next four days. Anyways, keep me updated, okay?”

 

He hung up before I could answer. I guess it was a good thing that it wasn't me he was angry at. I felt sorry for him, since he'd have to work hard to squeeze everything planned for the next for days into three and a half. The members had finished rehearsal for the song and I hurried to them as they came backstage. As I gave them their water bottles, I briefed them about the new situation.

 

“The only songs left to rehearse today are Junsu's and Changmin's songs, so the other three are done for today. But since Seunghyun-sshi will be busy rescheduling and I have to take care of Changmin and Junsu, you'll have to stay here.”

 

There were exchanged glances of happiness and annoyance as well as those of resignation. Although the three were happy to be done, they couldn't go home. And Junsu and Changmin still had to continue working.

 

“Can't we take a taxi home?” asked Jaejoong, who was clearly annoyed to have to stay at the stadium.

 

“Sorry, but there should always be one of us around you, it's not save right now to leave on your own.”

 

He snorted. “We're adults; we're able to take a taxi without being caught by fans or the press, okay?”

 

“Jaejoong...” Yunho started.

 

“Don't.” said Jaejoong. “This is just a waste of time.”

 

He stormed off. Great. I couldn't just let him roam the stadium freely, not in his condition. If anyone saw him like that they'd ask why he was allowed to walk around freely like that and why no one took care of him. On the other hand, I had to take care of the other four. I looked at them. They seemed okay, if tired and annoyed, but I didn't expect any sudden or rash actions from them. Especially with Yunho around.

 

“Damn him” I muttered. “Sorry guys, can you please stay out of trouble until I'm back? My job is on the line here. Changmin, you're next, but not until 4 pm, so go relax a bit, okay? Don't wander off, I always need to know where all of you are, okay?”

 

“It's okay, noona, just go, before Jaejoong hyung does something stupid” said Changmin, motioning me to leave.

 

I nodded thankfully and ran after Jaejoong to stop him from whatever he was doing.