The manager looked at Jaejoong, then me. The singer was looking down, but I couldn't see the expression on his face.

 

“You two, explain why there is a bottle of whiskey in this dorm. And why it's half opened.”

 

I was still angry enough to want to say “It's his fault!”, but I couldn't. Instead I said something else.

 

“It's all my fault, sir. I'm very sorry, I didn't think you'd come back so soon.”

 

“You?” He was eyeing me suspiciously. “This seems more like something Jaejoong would do.”

 

“No, sir, it's really not his fault! I knew he liked drinking so I bought this for him. He didn't have anything to do with this.”

 

I noticed the other members at the kitchen door, watching. I half expected the manager to send them away, but either he didn't notice them or he deliberately didn't want to send them away. Either way, he looked at me, disappointedly.

 

“I didn't think you would do something like this. I'll have to inform the boss.”

 

My heart missed a beat. Inform the boss of this? If he did, he'd fire me right away, I was sure. But what could I do? I'd already confessed to this, so I had to go through with it to the end.

 

“Sir, please. She didn't know we weren't allowed, it's not her fault I didn't tell her.”

 

Now the manager was looking at Jaejoong and there was no doubt he was angry. His mouth twitched in a scary way.

 

“You” he said and pointed at me, though his eyes didn't leave Jaejoong's. “Leave, now. We'll talk tomorrow.”

 

“But sir–“

 

“Now!”

 

There was no question. I gave Jaejoong an apologetic look, but he didn't even look at me. I turned around and saw the members lingering at the door. I didn't look at them and kept my face down as I walked past them. They didn't try to speak to me nor stop me.

 

I couldn't think staight the whole ride back to my apartment. I just wondered at myself why I had defended him. His position in the band was secure, he wouldn't be punished harshly. Me, on the other side, they could fire in an instant.

 

I didn't sleep at all and so I was half dead when I arrived at the office. I'd just entered the building when a secretary came towards me and told me to go see the boss right away.

 

The knot that had formed in my stomach tightened. I took the stairs, trying to prolong the time as much as possible, although I knew it didn't help. I ended up standing in font of the boss' door anyway. My hand shook when I knocked.

 

I kept my head down when I entered and my bow was even deeper than usual. I didn't dare look up.

 

“I didn't think you'd be stupid enough to get caught.” His voice wasn't angry. It didn't seem like he was on the verge of throwing me out. On the other hand, it seemed more... disappointed?

 

“Em, sorry?” I lifted my head  to see his expression and to my suprise he was... smiling?

 

“I thought you understood that it's important to keep this task as silent as possible. I don't need Seunghyun meddling with this. Next time, try to be a bit more secret, alright`”

 

I couldn't believe what was happening. He wasn't angry at me for the alcohol but more sad that I had been discovered?

 

“Sir, I don't understand.”

 

He allowed himself a small chuckle. He seemed to enjoy this situation. A lot.

 

“You must be scared, right? But don't worry, I won't fire you over such a small thing. In fact, I think it's a pretty good idea. The boy's been drinking too much alone lately.”

 

“He's been what?”

 

“Well, you better ask him yourself. He'll be pretty much sorry anyways since you took the bullet for him, so he'll probably tell you. I'm happy to see such progress.”

 

I was still a bit baffled when I left the office. He wasn't angry but supportive. I shook my head. I'd never understand the boss. He was so intimidating normally, I'd never have imagined this side of him.

 

I went to get my schedule at the entrance since I hadn't done so before, and headed to the practice room. When I entered, I saw that the manager wasn't there. Instead, the room was full of people, all SM artist and choreographers. A choreographer was explaining something and after a few minutes half of the artist left the room while the others remained. Since the TVXQ members stayed, I did so, too.

 

It turned out to be a choreography for an SM Town song. I cared too little for the song to remember it's name, but I remembered every lyric any of the five sang in it. After all, I'd listened to them sing it for hours.

 

I soon got tired of watching them and decided to fetch drinks and snacks instead. When I came back they seemed to be taking a break and everyone threw themselves on the cart I was pushing. Soon all the snacks were gone and everyone dispersed into small groups.

 

“I wish they'd given us her as an assistant. The sunbaes are so lucky” said a guy from Super Junior, that big group. From his gummy laugh I deducted that this must be Eunhyuk.

 

I raised an eyebrow. “You think I'd do this for all of you? Pah, handling five is hard enough.”

 

Eunhyuk started to laugh. “I admit that” he said, shoulders still shaking, “but still, I'd be nice to have a female around. It's always them who get the pretty ones anyways.”

 

“Was that a compliment?” I asked, smiling brightly. I really started to like this guy. He was much more easygoing than any of TVXQ.

 

Instead of answering, Eunhyuk just shrugged and left, still smiling. I shook my head. I wished more people would treat me like a human and not just like a thing to bring food.

 

I started to collect the food containers from people who'd already finished and soon stood in front of Yoochun, who was talking to a member from Super Junior. I couldn't place the face, although I must've seen it already.

 

“Are you finished?” I asked. It was only then that Yoochun noticed me,

 

“Uh, sure.” He gave me the container. “Uh, are you alright? I mean, yesterday...”

 

“Well, I'm still working here, that's something.”

 

“Yeah, but...”

 

“Don't worry, I'm fine but thanks for you concern.”

 

I smiled at him and went on collecting. When I came to Jaejoong I hesitated a bit before I spoke up to him.

 

“Are you done?”

 

He winced and turned around. I grinned – I could scare him too.

 

“You're still here!” He seemed ecstatic to see me.

 

“Uh, sure. Why shouldn't I be?”

 

“I mean, yesterday... Didn't he fire you?”

 

“No.” I shook my head. “He told me he wouldn't fire me over something this small.”

 

“Thank God” he said and seemed to regret it right away. “I mean, of course he wouldn't, why would he? Anyway, here, I'm done.”

 

He handed me his container and left to go to the other side of the room where Junsu was standing. Yunho, with whom he'd been talking, seemed to be as confused as I was. But after a few moments he gathered himself and acted all leader. He gave me his container, his food barely touched.

 

“You can finish of you want to, just put it on the cart later.” I held out the container but he shook his head.

 

“I'm not hungry.” He followed Jaejoong then and left me standing alone.

 

I didn't know much about him, but I knew that with all the stress and work he had, a good nutrition was necessary. If he didn't eat right, this might cause a problem.

 

Since it would go to waste I decided to finish Yunho's food and the brought the cart back to the cafeteria. The ladies there were starting to get to know me and I chatted with them for a while. I found out easy enough that being a cafeteria worker made you to a source of good gossip. When I returned to the practice room, the manager was there.

 

“Where have you been? How can you leave them alone like this?” he asked me angrily.

 

I was taken aback. I'd never thought that leaving five adult men in a room full of people was irresponsible. But I couldn't possibly say that. With what happened yesterday, I needed to be as nice as possible to the manager.

 

“I'm sorry, sir. I was just bringing back the cart with the food. I'm sorry if I took too long.”

 

“Why does bringing back the cart take so much time? I've been here for almost ten minutes already.”

 

“I'm sorry, sir. I talked to the ladies in the cafeteria.”

 

“Do you take this job lightly? You should be thankful to still have a job but instead you walk around talking to anyone who comes along and forgetting to do your job.”

 

“I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again, I promise.”

 

“I heard they cut your pay already so I let this pass. Next time though...” He left the threat unfinished, but it was clear enough what he meant.

 

“Thank you, sir.” I said, bowing. I'd kept my head down the whole time and didn't dare to lift it until he'd turned around.

 

I stared at him leaving. This was so unfair. How was leaving them here with everybody not doing my job? I clenched my fists again. I needed to get out of here to let out my anger, but after being scolded like that I didn't dare to.

 

Instead I sat down in a corner and watched them. While the manager had been talking to me, the artists had been practicing, but I noticed the small glances they gave me. They'd heard, everybody had. The pity in Eunhyuk's face was too much, so instead of watching them I took out my schedule to study it for a long time.

 

After the practice, there would be a meeting for the concert. I had been given documents about it beforehand and handed them out to all five of them while they were still trying to catch a breath after practice had finished.

 

“I'm sorry guys that you don't have time to rest a bit, but the meeting is in 15 minutes and it's important that you know what's inside here.”

 

“Can't we even shower? We'll stink so much they won't even let us into the room” Yoochun complained.

 

“Yeah, I'd really like to take one, too” Junsu agreed with him.

 

“Noona, don't you have anything to eat? I'm starving!” Changmin complained.

 

I smiled. “Sorry Changmin, there's no time. And I'm really sorry guys but if you go on there unprepared I don't know what the manager will do to me.”

 

They were silent. They knew that if I got scolded another time I'd end bad for me. But they also really wanted to take a shower.

 

“Why don't you explain it to us while we shower?” Jaejoong proposed.

 

There was short silence before everyone agreed. I, on the other hand, wasn't as supportive of the idea.

 

“I don't know if you have noticed, but I'm a girl. I can't just–“

 

“Oh come on, you'll just have to turn around, we trust you, noona!”  said Junsu.

 

I sighed. I recognized that it was a good idea but I still didn't want to do. But I couldn't object anymore without telling them that the thought of five men behind me made me embarrassed.

 

“Alright, but you'll have to be fast.”

 

They went off to the adjacent shower room. It was the first time for me walking into a men's room. I turned around immediately. Oh God, I was already blushing and they were still dressed. I cleared my throat.

 

“Alright, let's begin. Today you'll get to know about the order of the performances as well as the stage settings.”

 

I continued to explain everything. I was so concentrated that I barely thought about the five men behind me. I had to raise my voice once they started showering. I heard Junsu giggle and say “Hey, stop that!” once but was too focused to ask myself what was going on.

 

After seven minutes Yunho said: “Alright, we're done.”

 

I turned around just when Junsu said: “Wait, I'm not done yet.”

 

But it was too late. I'd already turned and he was too slow putting on his shirt. Although I looked away immediately, I still got a good look of his chest. I felt my face flush with blood right away.

 

“I'm sorry” I said as I stared at my shoes.

 

The fit of laughter that followed was only to be expected. I glanced up and could see that everyone, including Junsu, were laughing so hard that they got tears in their eyes. Only Yunho seemed to be a bit calmer though he did snicker.

 

“God, you're so cute. It's only his chest, don't worry. You seem like this is the first time seeing a guy's chest up close.” Yoochun seemed to enjoy this more than anyone.

 

Of course this was true. Being so bad at dating, I had never gone further than french kissing, and even those times I could count on one hand. I felt more embarrassed than ever before, not just because I'd seen his chest, but because they knew now that it really was my first time seeing it up close.

 

I wanted to disappear. I never thought it would come to the point that they'd know of my lack of experience with guys. This was a job, after all.

 

“Ehm, guys, don't we have somewhere to go?” Changmin asked. They quieted down almost immediately.

 

“Yeah, how much time do we have left?” Yunho asked.

 

I checked the time, happy to change the subject. “About four minutes. We should get going.”

 

I left first, only too happy to get a bit of distance between us. We were just on time and, after receiving a scrutinizing look of the manager that said 'Good thing you're not a second later', I said down in a chair, listening and taking notes.

 

I had learned how important it was to know what's going on. Since I was left alone more and more often with the five, I needed to be informed about everything, just like any manager. The only visible difference, it seemed to me, was that he was also planning schedules, where as I was only taking them there. And of course, he was getting paid more.

 

Although I thought like that, I knew that managing a band was more than just schedules and I was thankful that only had to do this much. Even like this I was half dead in the evening, imagine continuing to work in the night to meet deadlines.

 

In that matter, I was almost angry at myself for understanding the manager so much. I understood why he was angry at me, not just when he found the alcohol, but also when I had left for ten minutes. Although I was there with them, it was still his responsibility. So of course he wanted me to be there. If anything happened while I was gone, it'd be also his neck hanging.

 

“Okay, that's it for today” said the representative, who had been leading the meeting.

 

I was up in an instant and out of the room, waiting for the five outside. When they left he room with the manager, I joined them.

 

“Okay, there's only tomorrow, then we'll start doing rehearsals at the Olympic Stadium. Shinae, you'll be responsible for transportation and to be up to date of any changes that might be made. I'll take care of everything else.”

 

Everyone nodded in agreement. And although it was still two days from now, I was already tense. I didn't know if it was done deliberately or if it was by chance, but I felt like I was given more and more responsibility. I just hoped everything went smoothly.

 

When the manager left to get the car ready, Yoochun suddenly put his arm around me.

 

“So Junsu's was the first chest you ever saw?” he teased.

 

“Of course not” I said hotly, but then, since I didn't want to lie: “Maybe in person, though.” I looked at my shoes again, blushing.

 

“I can't believe that, aren't there lots of guys who want to date you?” asked Junsu.

 

“It's not that I haven't dated, it's just that I...” hadn't had an intimate relationship with anyone, I wanted to say, but I couldn't. Not to almost total strangers.

 

“God, she's so innocent.” Yoochun laughed again.

 

“Come on Yoochun, leave her be” said Yunho. A wave of gratitude flowed through me. Until now, Yunho hadn't said a lot of words to me, so I was even more thankful when he came to my defense.

 

“We're just kiddin'.” But Yoochun let go of me nonetheless.

 

“Ok” I said, “we should get going.” I lead the group again. How I wanted this day to just end. But I still had to accompany them home.

 

In fact, I was still wondering why I had to go to their apartment with them when the manager was there. I suspected that the boss had made that arrangement to keep me near them for as long as possible. I wondered how important this was to him. Whenever I checked, their popularity, despite their long absence from Korea, was high. Why did he want to increase their popularity so desperately that he was ready to play with their feelings.

 

I didn't look around to check if they were following until I was at the van. I held the door open for them as they climbed into the car. First was Jaejoong, not looking at me for a second, his dark brown hair shining in the car park light. Then followed Junsu, who gave me a grin, then Yoochun, who nudged me in the ribs. Changmin patted me on the back. Yunho was last, as always. I'd never really looked at him I guess, because now that he was standing right in front of me, I realized how tall he was.

 

I waited for him to climb inside, but he seemed reluctant. For a moment I thought he was going to say something, but then he got into his seat and I closed the door. Just when I opened the passenger seat's door, the manager spoke up:

 

“Actually, you don't have to come with us today. Go home and rest.” I looked at him, surprised, and then realized his face showed signs of guilt. He must be sorry for scolding me earlier. I smiled, thankful, and accepted the offer. I watched the car drive off, then checked the time. It was barely eight o'clock.

 

In an instant I decided that a chance like this might not come so soon again and called my friend to go out together.