Chapter 12

I was good at screaming. Suddenly, everyone turned into my direction, looking shocked.

But before I could take in more details, I let myself fall to the ground.

But just a few seconds later did Jaejoong’s strong arms pick me up.

“Let me through, she’s hurt. Make a path, please!”

I kept my eyes shut, but when he started to walk I guessed people had followed his orders.

He yelled a few other things but I couldn’t concentrate on them anymore. I’d realized that I was in Jaejoong’s arms. And I also realized that it felt good. And then I realized that that was probably not a good thing to feel, considering everything.

But still, I couldn’t stop concentrating and the way his chest moved when he walked and how his grip got tighter from time to time and loosened another time.

I got pulled back into reality when I was put down onto something soft.

“You can open your eyes now.”

So I did. We were in the dressing room. I sat up and rubbed my head. Falling to the ground was definitely something I’d need to practice more. I’d hit my head a bit.

I looked around to make sure everyone was there. Junsu was gulping down a bottle of water, Yoochun held another one to his head to cool it. Yunho was packing something into his back and Changmin was eating, of course.

And then there was Jaejoong. He’d sat down next to me, looking worried.

“Is your head alright? Did you hit it?”

“No, I’m fine, just a headache. I can’t believe that really worked.”

“Well, with that scream it’s no wonder. Ever considered becoming an actress?”

“Never. I don’t like being in the spotlight that much.”

I got up to get a bottle of water from the little fridge in the corner when Yoochun started speaking.

“Yeah, well, that’s history.”

I stopped dead and turned towards him.

“Why’s that?”

“Man,  that was a performance second to none. If I didn’t know the truth I’d have taken that desperate look in Jaejoong hyung’s face for real. People won’t stop talking, I tell you.”

He also started packing his bag.

He was right, also I didn’t want to accept it. If I wanted to make the boss believe that all of this was real, we’d need to make it obvious. Just not too obvious.

“That’s good then, I guess” I said, getting the bottle I’d gotten up for.

“I mean, the boss’ll be satisfied, won’t he?”

“You tell me, I didn’t invent this .”

We all packed up our things, even though we had to kind of force Changmin to leave his food to the side for a while.

“So, where’s the after party?” asked Junsu, shouldering his backpack.

“There’s such a thing? Wait a second.”

I checked the schedule I’d gotten from the receptionist. Nope, nothing there. Why wasn’t anybody telling me anything?

“Great. Wait here, okay? I’ll ask somebody.”

The party turned out to be at a restaurant near the Hongdae District that was a little calmer.

I maneuvered the boys out of the building. We were stopped a couple of times by staff workers but made it out eventually.

Sitting down in the comfortable car seat was like heaven. I suddenly realized how tired I was myself. Why did we have to go to that party again?

“It’s tradition, even though no one really likes to go” said Jaejoong.

Apparently I had taken to thinking aloud.

“Ugh, alright. You guys okay though? You must me exhausted.”

“Not as much since you woke us up with that scream” chuckled Yoochun.

“Haha, very funny. Come on, you barely slept last night and then you gave a concert.”

“Well, can’t change that. We’ve had worse days though. You know being on stage, it’s so… indescribable. It makes all if it worth it.”

His voice was sincere and maybe I was beginning to understand them. Their faces when they were up there… They seemed happy, as happy as I’d seen them in the short time that I’d known them.

“Alright. You did a great job by the way.”

“You think?” asked Junsu, his voice excited.

I checked in the mirror to see his face. He seemed genuinely awaiting my answer.

“Yes! Of course. You were the best. I still get goose bumps when I think of it!”

I shook my head. Working so much, getting so good and still hardly believing how good you’d become… I guess that was their charm. Or part of it.

“Yeah, well, Jaejoong could’ve done a lot better.” Yunho’s voice was hard.

Surprised, I checked in the mirror again. His face was stern and unreadable.

Come to think of it, he hadn’t really said anything to anyone, except for concert related stuff. Was he still angry? But then, he hadn’t said anything to me that he was. No matter what, something was definitely going on with him.

“I know, I’m sorry” the eldest said. He seemed dissatisfied with himself.

“It wasn’t that bad, really. Yunho, you know how working with Lina is. If she has a bad day it’s impossible to have great performance” said Junsu, trying to help Jaejoong.

“Doesn’t matter. We’ve been gone for such a long time, we need to make a good impression on the public. There’s no room for mistakes!”

Something in his voice made any reply impossible, so we drove in silence.

I stopped once to get coffee for everyone, since I was about to fall asleep while driving and thought it polite to get them some too.

Now that I was more awake, I started to think about Seunghyun. Where was he? If something’s come up with his daughter, why hadn’t he told me? Whatever it was, it was probably very important, otherwise he wouldn’t leave everything behind like he had.

The party was in full swing when we arrived. Before we entered I turned around to them.

“So, I don’t know how things go here, but don’t get too drunk, okay? I won’t be able to carry any of you, and since Seunghyun isn’t here…”

“So he still hasn’t called? That’s not like him at all” said Yoochun.

“No, I guess not, but can’t change that now. You five, now, go and have some fun, okay? Just not too much.”

I let them enter before me. Now that we were there, I didn’t really know what to do. I didn’t feel like partying at all, especially not at a party no one wanted to be.

The music was, coincidentally, the agency’s music. The dancing took place in the middle of the big room where a place had been cleared. The tables that must usually furnish the room were nowhere to be seen, instead there were loads of bar tables. The light was dimmed and gave the big sign on the wall a glimmering shine.

The sign read “SM Town ‘08” and was pink.

I sat down at the bar that ran along one whole side of the room.

But before I could even order anything, someone sat down beside me.

It was him.

“Hello, Shinae-sshi, how are things going?”