Why was Jiyong being like this anyway? Why did Seungri have to be the one to confess first?

Sleep usually came easily to the elder, but tonight was not one of those nights. It was a little past midnight and he had to be up in six hours for a meeting. He just couldn't quite get his thoughts together. The maknae had stopped ignoring him, which was good, but on an emotional level, things still needed to be fixed.

So there Jiyong lay in his bed trying to grasp the blanketing shadows of night and sleep, only to be wrapped instead of thoughts of his troublesome maknae.

"I thought of five reasons I should be in the group."

This was back when Seungri had to prove to YG why he should be a member of BIGBANG after he was turned away. He was given a second chance and so he provided a speech.

"First reason is, don't I match the maknae image the most?"

A young Jiyong sat quietly against the wall on the side of the old, cramped dance studio. He wanted desperately to laugh. He knew he was being filmed though, so he kept a straight face.

Did he really just say that? Oh, Little Seunghyun...

"Second is my dancing."

Of course.

"And third is the concept. If the hyungs get fans because they are strong, cool, and manly, I'm sure I can get fans with my cute, smooth, and witty self."

Jiyong couldn't hold still any longer. His shoulders started shaking as he sat in his corner silently chuckling, clamping down on his lips so the sound wouldn't escape.

This guy! Little Seunghyun sure knows how to sell himself!

Jiyong wasn't really paying attention to the other reasons that followed. He was too preoccupied trying to hold himself back.

Little Seunghyun is cute.

-------------------

And that's where it began. Two weeks later, Little Seunghyun had been chosen as the final member of BIGBANG and Jiyong took the maknae under his wing to be the best leader he could be.

He found himself smiling and laughing more often around Little Seunghyun. He liked the way the kid's eyes sparkled when he knew he did something good, or the way he blinked his eyes rapidly when he was criticized so that the tears wouldn't come out. He loved teaching him new things and monitoring him in the studio. He liked watching him move about freely with his own unique dance style.

A few months later, after seeing growth in his singing abilities as they geared up for BIGBANG's first concert, Jiyong realized he loved the hard-worker. He wanted to protect him. He wanted to show him more affection. He wanted Seungri to continue looking at him with those adoring eyes. He wanted to be a good influence.

"Lee Seunghyun..Seung Lee..Ri..Hmm.."

"What are you going on about now, hying?"

"Seungri! That's it!"

"Huh?"

"You're tired of being Little Seunghyun, right?"

"Well..sure?"

"I'll call you Seungri. In English, the family name goes last, and the L becomes an R..so Seungri!"

"You'll have to talk about it with YG."

"He'll say yes. What matters though is if you like it. Doesn't it sound nice?"

"It'll take some getting used to..."

"Seungri it is then! You're my Seungri."

----------------

Jiyong pulled his quilt up closer to his chin and let out a sigh into the fabric.

"My Seungri..."

So that was it. To put it simply, Jiyong was selfish. The maknae was his, and he just wanted Seungri to talk to him with that same sense of purpose as he did when he listed his reasons to YG for why he should be in BIGBANG.

He wanted Seungri to give him a list of reasons too. A heartfelt confession by his own words.

He wanted Seungri to prove he loved him like how he proved he deserved to be in the band with him.

That was all. Nothing less.

The elder finally let sleep take over, where he dreamed of those bittersweet memories and awoke a few hours later with a new melody playing in his head.