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Cemetery

Seoul, South Korea

“How do you feel?”

“Honored,” she took a deep breath.

          Her hands roamed around the tombstone, fingers across the lettering that had read, ‘In Young: Beloved Daughter and Sister’. He had said nothing and only watched Taeyeon talking and introducing herself. He helped her place the flowers and led her back to his car. It was still dark outside. They had taken refuge in the warmth of the night.

“Can I ask you a question?,” She whispered.

“Of course.”

“If I die—”

She could feel his muscles tighten, waiting to reply. She pressed her fingers against his lips and said, “Let me finish. If I die, please don’t forget me,” she muttered. He looked at her, tears almost spilling out of his eyes at the mere thought. “Never, don’t say that Taeyeon. Never, I won’t ever forget you.”

She had her hands clasped together and prayed. He had the tendency to hug her but found her holding on to him instead. Her hands came over to his face and her eyes widened. The feeling of Leeteuk’s face was scarcely different without his scars. Her breath above his skin made his heart race but he leave his eyes open. She knew how handsome he was and eventually broke their hug. He traced her lips, aching to lay it upon his own but stopped. He promised himself he wouldn’t; he won’t kiss her until she is completely his.

She felt it and Taeyeon could not contain her happiness.

He laughed seeing her blush.

♦♦♦

“Could you teach me?”

“What?”

“Patience, because I admire you so much.”

“There is nothing to it, just faith in whatever awaits you.”

“And if it does not reciprocate?”

“Then, unconditionally.”

He is in love with her. He always has been.

Taeyeon felt his face, how his scars were slowly healing to reveal his imposing face beneath and she noticed how longer his hair has gotten, removing his bangs away to touch his forehead. Trailing down onto his jawline, she felt his adam’s apple on his neck, down to his shoulders and chest, where his heart was placed.

Ward 4, Jeonju Hospital

Jeonju, South Korea

“The sky, I’ve always wondered why it is blue?”

“Maybe, beyond it lies an ocean.”

“Seriously, Taeyeon? How would you know?”

“I don’t. I just wonder and came towards that conclusion. The ocean, it was to remind me of the colour blue. I mean really, maybe sometimes the ocean beyond the sky just leaks at times. And those times are when we need our umbrella.”

“When it rains?”

“When it rains.”

He told her if she ever wanted to see the stars, she should put her hand out when it's raining and feel the little points fall down on her palms. Because rain falls so quickly it can also have the effect of 'twinkling'. Just like that, it started to pour heavily hours later. Taeyeon was leaning onto the glass-stained window trailing the droplets on them. Her eyes were closed, as if she was led only towards the sound of the raindrops. Leeteuk had only watched her intriguement, how sometimes he saw how her eyes yearn to see them in reality.

He took an umbrella and her coat from the side of their ward.

“Taeyeon, come out with me.”

“Is it lighter already? Teuk-,” she was immediately cut off as he pulled her with him and onto the rooftop. 

Under their umbrella, she would reach out to feel the raindrops. And finally stepped out and led herself be completely drenched. She folded her arms; as Leeteuk pulled out her coat over her, “At least, don’t get a cold.” In her innocence, she didn’t realized how Leeteuk started singing and she had joined him too. It was good to be in the rain, where you couldn’t differentiate if anyone is crying. The sound of raindrops that would perfectly mask his sobs. And Leeteuk was.

          “I heard you that night in the rain… how you feel.”

Taeyeon heard him take out a piece of paper from his pocket and opened it. It had felt like an envelope and it was thick, pages and pages stapled together. She wanted to understand but was too afraid to ask.

“I have to leave, Taeyeon... I can’t-“ he stopped, searching for her expression and composed himself. “Only for a moment, dear. I swear. There is still time before I go…” He had received a letter from his parents, bidding for him to return. There had been an urgency for him to go to the States.

She could feel his eyes on those words as he recite each one. They stood there saying nothing to one another and her knees fell weak.

“You are my eyes,” she muttered. He turned towards her and saw Taeyeon unbidden tearing, gripping harder towards his hands. “Taeyeon...” he cooed tracing the soft underline of her jaw. “I hold you now, and I feel all the colours in my hands.” She laughed a little, “My eyes are not my own, I go through the motions in life through you. The hold you have on me, on us, I can’t let go of it.”

He led out a tear, bringing her closer to him.

She d around blindly in search of his heart, and he placed her hands on top of his chest. “This feeling, I am in love with this feeling whenever I’m with you.”

“Oh Taeyeon, I wish I could stay.”

“Please, please,” she pleaded, her breath on his jawline.

“I don’t think I’m ready for goodbye. I’m not ready to miss you.”

He held her shoulders, looking at her, “We have one more year, sweetheart, just one more,” he swallowed. “I’ll make this last,” he whispered.

Leeteuk’s Villa

Jeonju, South Korea

          He brought her into his home, the second time since the worst night when he saved her. Leeteuk bend down to Taeyeon's feet and slowly took off her sandals. She let him open them and waited for him. He took her by the waist and whispered 'Walk in.' Leeteuk interlocked his fingers with hers and led her into his house. Taeyeon gently tugged away and feet walked towards the direction of flowers that she had smelled. He followed and slowly lifted her hands for her to touch them. Their hands never left each other as he toured her around his Villa.

Taeyeon kept quiet, intrigued with his home and wished to stay with him there forever. For a moment, her legs became caught and she almost fell onto the steps of his staircase. Leeteuk had caught her and swiftly decided to carry her up. As she felt his arms around her back and legs, her body instinctively followed and she brought her arms on his nape. Her face lay on his neck and she inhaled his sweet honey-like scent. Unknowingly, her fingers glided across his hair and soon after his chest and she whispered his name.

He placed her onto his bed but she never let go of him. He slowly brought himself down besides her, covering her with his blanket. Taeyeon rested her head on his chest as he lulled her to sleep. “I could hear the ocean echoing in the inside of your ribcage…” she muttered wearily, slightly chuckling.

Leeteuk watched the way her eyelids closed, thinking of the way she had touched him before. He felt so deeply with every contact they had made and wanted to know if it had been mutual. She slept so peacefully on the nights they slept together. There is nothing more that she needed other than him and him only.