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Club, Seoul

           There had been scheduled a private party in regards to celebrating General Lee’s birthday. Most attendees were relatives and higher up businessmen, including Jung Su’s parents. Dong Wook stayed in his office later that evening due to an emergency meeting and left Jung Su with Taeyeon. He offered to walk her there, knowing how sensitive she was in taking car rides. They hadn't spoke anything to one another and she clutched onto his coat that he handed her. At the corner of her eyes, she saw him smile and it made her swoon a little at the pure reaction.

It was the way he crossed the road with her, how he tugged onto her wrist and gentlemanly offered to stand on the side the cars would drive. She felt protected and so safe. Then they finally realized how close they had almost gotten and pulled away, each walked separately. He wanted so much to be selfish to pull her into his arms and hug her.

          As she watched him from afar, talking to his elders, she noticed how he had the most charming eyes. She wished for once that he would look at her. Dong Wook had noticed the slight intimacy between the two. He felt a tug seeing the way she looked at him, as if longing for something. Immediately he approached her. Drifting away in her thoughts, she didn't notice him sitting down next to her. He observed her face. Eyebrows furrowed and how her eyes seemed disconcerted. Her face was paler than usual as if something happened.

"How was the trip?" He asked. She was startled and only began to take notice of him beside her. She hesitated for a moment before saying, "It was alright."

He felt that something was off but shrugged it off immediately. She couldn't tell him. He slipped his hands onto hers and pulled her up from the seat. "Come on, I have something for you."

Flinching at the sight of the purple snapdragons, she picked it up gently, taking in its scent before feeling a surge of reminiscent. Dong Wook smiled at her reaction and sought to bring her more flowers in the coming days.

“Jung Su previously had told me to give you these, who knew you’d always love them!” It was him? Her head throbbed painfully as Taeyeon caught undecipherable visions in her head. She dropped it; she couldn't risk her heart again.

         Jung Su knew her too. He really did, and when she faced him that night she saw the hurt in his eyes. She went to touch his hand, his warmth so tenderly familiar. She was moved by his gentleness. Why was she feeling this way? Deja vu. For some reason she was afraid for him. She was afraid of lost. And why of all people, was it him? Seeing her, he was full of anticipation. He knew it was her favorite.

She threw the bouquet back at him. Jung Su looked down at the flowers and back up towards Taeyeon. She seemed affected by them and her eyes somehow glistened as he met with hers. Could she have remembered?

"What are you playing at?" She said, with a tinge of anger. It was too much for her to take. Too many coincidences, too much familiarity. She had to remind herself that he was a mere stranger. Wasn't he?

"Taeyeon…" The first time he called for her name. It felt like years since she heard from that humanely familiar voice but they only knew each other for how long. At that point it felt as if she didn’t know anything at all. All she knew was that was how his voice sounded like, and she had yearned to hear her name being uttered by him- no, Leeteuk.

She wanted to resolve it, her intuitions, and the blur that she met with after her engagement this entire time. It was then her cheeks felt wet, was she crying? Why is she crying, as if she never controlled her emotions, was it for him she didn't know. Sudden shock from her unknowing actions she let go of his hand and went back inside.

♦♦♦

          Of course, Taeyeon came with Dong Wook, announcing once again their engagement. Jung Su noticed her first, sitting by the bar as her fiancé drowned into the drinks with his friends and cousins. Unlike the rest, he didn’t drink and only vowed on glasses of water. It was during a moment when the attention came to Taeyeon and they handed her one. Jung Su quivered, he knows she has never taken any alcohol and felt worried when the latter took in an entire glass. After the cake was cut and everyone danced, Jung Su always keeps an eye on her, even from afar.

It was almost reaching midnight when she strode across the lounge alone, without Dong Wook by her side. He wanted to hold her steady and followed her a distance away until she started choking. He ran over and took the bucket underneath the coffee table and placed it below her. Taeyeon bent over and led out a vomit. Everyone turned the attention to the precedented daughter-in-law the moment they heard retching, murmurs and disgusted faces from the crowd. Instinctively, Jung Su went to hold her hair back despite the attention and cared for her as she continued her wave, taking out a napkin from the front pocket of his suit. He was about to wipe until Dong Wook came over.

“Oh dear, I looked for you everywhere!” Jung Su moved away passing the napkin to his brother. His heart beat wildly at the contact of merely touching her hair, how he didn’t resist taking care of her like he had. Merely seconds had Taeyeon realized it was Jung Su who held her and slowly wiped off her lips with his napkin. She didn’t know why, she couldn’t look at Dong Wook that was right beside her and her hands would not stop shaking.

          That night, with the eventful celebration over, Jung Su stayed behind and walked along the grounds. He was overwhelmed with memories, how painful that the person you love doesn't recall anything at all. Taeyeon was with her beau; hopelessly apologizing for her humiliating act but instead Dong Wook brushed her hair back behind her ears and kissed the sides of her neck. In a glance, Jung Su caught the two of them in the veranda and his heart squeezed. His fingers shook and he blinked so much to contain his very tears.

“I love you,” he heard him say.

His brother had done what would take him years to do. When Dong Wook leaned in to kiss her lips, Jung Su shut his eyes. He missed to see that even then Taeyeon impulsively turned away, only for him to land on her cheeks.

“Oh, Dong Wook...” she looked at him apologetically, how she didn’t reciprocated his intentions. Dong Wook closed his eyes and gave a warm smile to Taeyeon. He shook his head and she brushed his fringe.

“Oppa, I didn’t mean to- I don’t know why I-“ she sighed. She didn’t know why she reacted in such a way towards her fiancé.

Jung Su cupped his mouth, suppressing his cries and walked into the next room. His back leaned onto the back of the door and sat there crying silently by himself. His shoulders ragged and pulled himself away from the two of them.

‘I've tried so many times to think of a new way to say it, but I don't think I'll ever be able to confess in those three words. I don't think I deserve to love you at all. Until now, even after all those years, I waited to stand before you and say-‘

Dong Wook did it easily; he was braver than he was. And she deserved him.

Jung Su couldn't stop crying that night. He was attempting to write and write his profession of love for her, his confession that he never said, but he couldn't. His hands grew still and his black inkpen fell, leaving the unwritten words of

I lov    -  - - -

This confession that had lingered at the edge of his lips had instead ended in tears.

Meadow, Seoul

"What's the matter? You seem very silent."

"The view has never changed. It remained the same in my only memory of it." She was overcome by the power of memory, how clear it was, reliving it.

Dong Wook came close to Taeyeon and saw her eyes closed, tears slipping down. Her hands raised towards the view gliding across it, “I... remember it perfectly.” It was like a whisper how she recalled visiting this place merely years before.

“You told me the last time was with your father?”

“No Dong Wook. There… was someone. He had brought me here.”

She feels him sometimes, his gentle breath over her ear and her nape that made her tingle, arms snuggled around the waist, the feeling of lying on his chest and…

“…his name.”

Dong Wook wiped her tears and caressed her face, “Is he that special to you?”

“Special?” Leeteuk, the name came naturally over the edge of her lips and her heart.