Ward 4, Jeonju Hospital

Jeonju, South Korea

         Leeteuk watched her everyday, how she got herself ready, how she knew how to brush her teeth, tie her shoelaces and her hair, the way she greets the familiar staffs and come back to their ward. He gave her space and after all those moments, he never once saw her as a young girl.

It was in the afternoon where Leeteuk was heading back to their room after his check-up. It was raining so heavily that through closed windows, the wind pounched and whirled across them, seeping water. Taeyeon woke up with a start after hearing a thunder, still made her so afraid. The window was open and the wind gushed in blowing through papers and curtains. As she ran to close them her feet slipped through the wet floor and she fell to the ground on her back. She groaned at the unbearable pain, despite being used to falling down all her life, tears still stood at the edge of her eyes and she bit her lips.

Her roommate came in soon after and immediately flew over to close their windows shut. He went over to her but she didn’t want to be helped, “Don’t touch me,” she said her voice croaked at the end, exposing her tearful pain.

“Okay,” he said and she heard him lay down next to her. They were silent and he heard her sniff.

“Does it hurt anywhere, Taeyeon?” She didn’t answer and turned away. Taeyeon wanted to stand up but her back ached when she moved, afraid to show her vulnerability. The next thing she felt was Leeteuk placing his jacket over her chest, covering her body that he had noticed, shivered on the cold floor.

When the thunder sounded, she covered her face and shrieked, hugging close to Leeteuk. Feeling the pain on her back once she moved, Taeyeon moaned in pain. Despite her decline, he immediately placed his arms around her shoulders and legs, carrying her slowly to her bed. Her face was down and she was crying. He wiped her tears and called her caretaker.

         He held her hand and slept by her side. He liked holding her hand, it almost felt like there had been the presence of his sister, and how he missed her, how bereaved he felt. She noticed how he had touched her with such intention. Taeyeon listened with her eyes closed, his gentle breath beside her, noticed something about him, a lingering sadness almost. Ever so often, he’ll try to conceal them otherwise with his touches and the smile in his speech, but she won’t be completely fooled. Her hands hovered over his face, hesistating to touch what she had long to carress in these past weeks. She wants to understand him.

♦♦♦

         In the following days, despite spending his time in mourning, Taeyeon understood to leave him in solitary whenever he needed and at the same time developed a natural friendship as well. Oddly, rather than looking back on his past, he acknowledges the way she gave him a new name, Leeteuk and instead awaits for Taeyeon every single day.

To her, Leeteuk was elegantly polite; she loved listening to his voice. So gentle, as if he spoke the language too beautifully. There were days she had tried to resist being away from him, but he always comes for her. Taeyeon whispered a question into his ear between the panels of their little ward. He didn’t mind her curiosity but she had asked of his reason of staying next to her each day.

“Because you’re all that I’ve got,” he answered honestly, watching her expression. For some reason Taeyeon blushed and head to bed, holding her hand on her chest.

         Following those months, Leeteuk noticed an endless routine with them spending days tirelessly amongst the ward. He watched her listened to the sun come and go, the moon come and go, people, chances, dreams, wishes, ambitions, relationships come and go. She listened with her eyes closed, hands folded, mouth sealed so tightly by society, by fear of failure, fear of mockery, and it was for too long. Discreetly, the former had sought permission from Nurse Hwang to bring his roommate over the district, to the city, to Seoul.

         Leeteuk sat down with Taeyeon towards the resting area. He took away her walking stick, folding it and faced her. “Do you want to go somewhere with me?” he asked slowly. “I promise I’ll take care of you, I just want to bring you somewhere,” he smiled. She has never really explored anywhere else than her hometown, always felt afraid of discovering the rest of the world.

Nurse Hwang placed her hands over hers and told her that she could go. Taeyeon turned over to Leeteuk and nodded excitedly. He ruffled her hair in return, and Stephanie looked over them clasping her hands together.