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Library, Lee Residences

Seoul, South Korea

          Dong Wook went into the library, watched as Jung Su sat on the lounge writing onto his journal. His Godbrother looked so different clad in smart clothings, with his face clean-shaven and hair neatly trimmed.

“Jung Su?” He was startled by his entrance and immediately hid away his book.

I saw her before she saw me.

“Oh, hello.” He bowed slightly and noticed a ring wrapped around his finger before looking away, clenching his jaw.

“How are you? It has been years, brother.”

“I’m fine,” he mustered a smile trying to calm himself. “I came to your engagement, Dong Wook.” The latter nodded and grinned.

“What do you think of Taeyeon?” His heart strung hearing her name and gulped.

“She is… I think she’s beautiful,” he said looking away from his eyes. She really was.

As much as he didn’t want to listen, the former had told him all about her. How she had a tragic past, her passion in aiding patients, how he met her, and lastly, how Taeyeon lost a part of her memory. Jung Su’s eyes lingered again upon his ring, remembered the way she never recognized him in a glance. He grew still noting that there had been nothing left of him with her, he thought about anything that could’ve happened to her, leading up to her partial loss of rememberance. He wonders if she had even thought of him at all. How she had once implored him to stay by his side, how she never let go of his hands… Dong Wook’s phone rang in the middle of their conversation and he excused himself.

          As he lay in the room between the church walls, he teared silently thinking of her. It has felt the same despite the circumstances. It was as if he still wanted to give up on his life, family, fortune for a house with no home where all he could do was think of her. He had also remembered how she never calls him Leeteuk anymore.

Taeyeon’s Room, Lee Residences

Seoul, South Korea

I'm devoted to you with all my heart and soul. And I can't think of feel for anyone more beautiful or virtuous than you. Marry me, Taeyeon. Be my wife.

Those words from Dong Wook still rang in her mind. How easily she accepted it without consideration and now out of the blue she felt confused and lost. How after all the events of her engagement, several instances, she still thought of his mysterious Godbrother, Park Jung Su. He was handsome like Dong Wook, but he never spoke. He just stood, never keeping an eye contact with her. And in that split second when their eyes met, she had unconsciously felt herself being drawn into his gaze. Watching him abruptly leave, she made a frown. He was probably one of those high ranked officers that were too serious to let their guard down, but wait, he was far too young. She didn't manage to make out his face, but his eyes exuded a boyish charm, that gave off a strange sense of familiarity. Her heart throbbed, and for some unknown reason she felt like she knew him. Very well.

          Taeyeon looked outside the window and she had seen Jung Su, taking long walks around their backyard parameters. She flung a coat and took an extra for the man. As she neared, he was clutching onto his chest, watching over the landscape and breathed raggedly. Taeyeon put a white knitted coat over him and hovered her hand to place them over his heart but instead he stood up, gently removing her hand away, their fingers merely brushing across one another. She had felt a tug in her own chest. At a side-glance, a few tears dropped from his eyes, yet he still never looked up to face her. Her heart squeezed seeing him cry and she had come to a conclusion: that he was all alone.

Taeyeon had never seen him cry before. Nor did she know he has an anxiety disorder. From the way his hands tremored along with his heart it was apparent. She should know, she had aided the patients before. Evidently, Jung Su was hiding something from everyone, she thought. Before she knew it, he had gone back into the house.

He had felt that night, so close to everything in the universe. He sat in bed, thinking of how he had been with her a few moments ago. How vulnerable he became and still, he lay feeling breathless. He has come to believe maybe she wasn't meant to see him at all.

          It has been years since she left Jeonju. She opened her drawer and slowly took out, under a layer of dust, a love letter filled with a young heart. It might have been her sole secret and only remainder of her past.

‘…When there is love, do we speak the same language? But to this woman, whom I have never had the intention of meeting, I would like to give my whole heart to. She was in every respect, a woman with whom I believed I could share my life long and happily. I loved her. How she felt about me, however, was a matter in question. In the hours we spent together, in our discourse, debate and exchange of feelings, I experienced a kind of complete happiness, which had, until that time, been foreign to me.’

~Leeteuk

For years, she scanned the letter now and then, how wistful she felt everytime she reads it. It was said how he was a tearaway, how their affair had been abrupt and forgotten. The words she’ll read again and again, this deep confession from an unknown sender. Taeyeon knew nothing about herself, about him yet she didn’t plan on finding out but due to all the recent happenings, her exchange of promise towards Dong Wook, looking through this letter makes her question her life and beliefs…

Immediately, she shrugged a thought that ran through her mind and folded it neatly back in place. She should feel happy to rest a future with Dong Wook. It’s not just that she makes him a better person, and she does; but he challenges her, surprises her. Her heart thumped again, and she shut her eyes, how could she be thinking of his Godbrother at a time like this? The mere contact, only moments ago, the sadness he bereaved, the way he avoids her, she couldn’t forget them.

♦♦♦

“Tell me about your brother.”

“Oh Jung Su?” she nodded, feeling expectant and curious. “He saved my father’s life and vice versa. He is a pleasant young man full of manners and humility, very gentle and quiet bloke. You know, his parents are renowned entrepreneurs, fascinating yeah?”

“Mm,” she gave a slight smile. Taeyeon can’t explain the feeling to Dong Wook whenever he is near. How nervous she felt around him.

“Did you know he has anxiety?” Dong Wook faced her, feeling confused at her revelation. She placed her hands over his, “He needs to be taken care of-“

“No, I mean yes. I know, he has them but it has never happened, not since he was overcome with fear. The man has a phobia from fire and…” Dong Wook suddenly recalls the days they roomed and went through the war together, how the man conceals his secrets and feelings. The very night, he waited for him at his door.

         Jung Su opened the door and smiled at him, tucking a hand into his pocket. The latter walked around the room, noticed how several things remained untouched and how he brought such little things home. “You know, there had been a woman you once told me about?”

His heart shuddered. “What woman?” he feigned, crossing his fingers.

“Oh c’mon. The one you’ve always fawned about back in those days at the camp. Nothing happened right?”

He bit his lip; there was no way he’d ever reveal that the woman had been the same one he courted. “She’s gone,” he said easily, facing away from him.

Dong Wook didn’t know what to say. He finally understood why Taeyeon had mentioned his mild condition. Occasionally he’d experience them whenever there had been contact with fire and also in relation to his late sister. There always had been this sadness he contained where he’ll give into, resulting in his condition, having uneasiness, irregular heartbeats and apprehension. He now faced his back against him and he decided not to press on. Jung Su felt his hand come over his shoulder and when he looked back, all he had seen was the ring engraved around his finger, the reminder of how his love for Taeyeon has to come to naught.