Medic Tent

Incheon

          Hot streams of tears flowed down her cheeks as her shoulders ragged. She felt a soft pair of hands coming over her face and taking hers in him as he knelt before her. Her skin remembered. Her nose remembered. How long she had craved for this scent? How did she manage without him? Where had she found the strength to get through each day? There were so much to share, so much to give and so little time. This was the first time in years, she had seen Leeteuk so close, and he never broke his gaze with her. He kissed her fingers and she closed her eyelids. All was still. Her fingers remembered this skin, how healed his scars were, she felt no traces. Her hands had travelled from his forehead, eyes down to his nose, cheeks and lips. She feels his tears, the dimple on his chin. He had grown so handsomely, how thin he had become. How long had she yearned for this moment, to finally see him through her very eyes?

“Say something,” she whispered. But there was nothing he wanted to ask her, nothing he wanted to know. So here she was, looking at him, feeling all the emotions she has always felt when she looks at him and she remembers. She wants him to tell her that he remembers, too.

"I'm sorry," his gentle voice cooed. His voice. His whispers. Her ears remembered. She shook her head and traced his lips.

"You still have the heart to apologize, after all the hurt I had given you?" Taeyeon opened her eyes and sees him crying. He became so vulnerable and all she could do was to hug him tight, her head over his chest. She was reminded how only yesterday she had almost lost him, and was relieved to hear the beating of his heartbeat against her ears.

"I am content to see you breathe. Knowing that you are alive, even if you do not love me back, I would do anything to ensure it sustains. So I left."

She cried, "You died."

"Else you would die." Looking into the eyes of the man she loved is enough for his presence to be rekindled in her. She cupped and cried uncontrollably. He clutched onto his aching chest where only the night before had he faced such casualty.

“You cared too much, but please don’t forget how much you’re worth. I lost you once and I was so close to losing you again.” Taeyeon saw his agonized expression and how his gaze locked desperately with hers.

Leeteuk’s Villa

Jeonju, South Korea

          The following day, he was sent to recuperate in his home and Taeyeon registered herself as his private nurse. Dong Wook came over to visit and they sat across one another in the living room. There was so much he wanted to ask.

"How I never questioned, how she caught all the differences, in my length of hair, the tuck in my jeans and quiver in my lips. And it had been, because she was blind, but now sightful to every single detail," he pressed his lips together. “She had always remembered you, you know. It was never me, Jung Su.”

Leeteuk faced Dong Wook hesistating for a moment.

“Don’t let her go, hyung.”

“What do you mean? She deserves you, only you.” As much as he wished it were true, he could not possibly explain the reasons to Dong Wook.

Dong Wook knew that Leeteuk respected Taeyeon so much as to not pursue her further than what they were. He has yet to kiss her lips, told her he loves her; it took him months to hold her hand. He was so gentle with her, taking care of her on all days. If there was something she refused to share, he never presses on and believed her.

“Pursue her for me,” he placed his hand on his shoulder. “Its alright with me if you want to be with her. Just take care of her.”

Dong Wook felt confused. “Why?” his voice rose, frustrated with how Leeteuk refuses to fulfill their happiness.

"She is yours, and I don't have the right to pursue her. I don't have it in me to love her the way she deserved."

“How could I even dare to fall in love with her…” He ruffled his hair angrily and went over to Leeteuk, his hands slowly untangling his crossed fingers before walking off his Villa.

Taeyeon stood behind the wall hearing their conversation and felt puzzled with the way Leeteuk had presented himself.

♦♦♦

“That night, why didn’t you come back?”

He gave a soft smile, “You know why.” Taeyeon was reminded how she lost him from the day he left her. How she cried for nights, how they never had the proper goodbye. She also remembered how they never had the proper greeting during her engagement.

“And during that day, Dong Wook and I, we...”

“I needed to see you, it is hard to explain. I’m awfully indebted, I had to be there for my Godbrother.”

“But you didn’t know that I would...” be in another man’s arms.

“No, no I didn’t. You looked at me for the first time then, you were so… beautiful.” His voice shook at the end, his eyes looking away from her. He remembers watching her age through the years. Taeyeon lifted his chin and met with his teary eyes.

“I did, I saw you,” she whispered.

He positioned himself beside her—she stayed under the covers, he was on top of them, his head next to hers on the pillow.

“I couldn't look you in the eye knowing I might not see you again for a long time. I couldn’t give myself away.” Taeyeon his hair and thought of the months he'd lived at the mansion, and the way they slept shoulder to shoulder in the wards nine years ago, and she had got another good memory. She watched his eyes close, muttering beneath his breath. “I felt so much happiness the moment you saw me for the first time, Taeyeon…”

          The next few days, Taeyeon stayed with him aiding him solely as his nurse. She walked around his Villa, fascinated at everything that had stayed so retentive. After nine years, nothing has changed. She wanted to take in every part of him, in his room, his library, the garden and had imagined all the intimate moments where he had spent his time alone. They had said nothing between the way she would unwrap his bandage and plaster a new one, when she would help him do the buttons of his shirt and feed him. Being with each other was enough and neither asked for more.

The way she had touched him, on all days, taking care of him, until he finally touched her back. He brought her nearer to him and ran a hand on her thighs. He caressed her face, especially the eyes as she only let him. To be embraced by him after so long, it felt like an awakening. Until he only placed his head on her s, listening to her heart and hugging her tight. "I miss you," he confessed. She closes her eyes, feels the shivers run through her - it’s been so long since they've touched.

That was it.