I walked to the dinner table, still a bit shaken from what just took place. I sat down looking at my plate, avoiding everyone’s stares.

“Mianhe. I came out a bit late.” I said biting my lip.

“It’s alright, eat up!” Cho Hee-ssi said politely.

I looked at all the delicious-looking food, and the smell was mouth-watering. I dished up my food and looked around for my fork.

“Here you go.” Someone next to me said, handing me my misplaced fork.

I looked at the person, “Gomawo –”

“Kim Kibum, but you can just call me Key.” He smiled at me. For some reason he seemed…motherly.

“We should introduce ourselves to I suppose, I’m Minho.” A tall, handsome guy said from one end of the table.

“I’m Onew, and I love chicken!” A cute guy  sitting by Cho Hee said.

Everyone chuckled and his face turned pink, “I just felt that’s an important fact to share..”

We all chuckled again.

“And you already know me.” Taemin said from across the table with a wink.

About halfway through dinner I felt eyes on me. I looked across the table and saw both Jonghyun and Taemin staring at me. Minho was looking back and forth between them and me. I looked away nervously.

“I’m done eating. Please excuse me.” I said, suddenly losing my appetite.

I bowed before leaving the table, and went back to my room. I laid on the bed and sighed in frustration.

Boys. Can’t they just disappear? Urghhh. Why must they be so confusing? I’m sure that’s a question we’d all like to know.

A while later, a knock broke me out of my deep thoughts.

“Young-ah?” A voice that I didn’t want to hear said outside my door.

“What?” My voice was sharp.

“My friends are leaving, come say goodbye to them.”

So demanding.

I walked downstairs reluctantly and hugged all of his friend goodbye. I hugged Taemin last and it lasted longer than the other hugs I’d given to his friends. When I pulled away, he kissed my cheek.

“Call me if you change your mind.” He said smiling.

I looked at the ground and nodded shyly. When they left, I went back upstairs and helped clean off the table.

Cho Hee walked in with a curious look on her face, “Are you, er –pause-, dating Taemin?”

Her question threw me off guard, and I paused before answering.

“W-well, I guess you could say that.”

“Oh, well congratulations!” She said, with a fake smile on her face.

Why is she looking at me like that? I didn’t do anything wrong…

“I’m just going to go to my room now for the night.” I said quietly when we finished cleaning the kitchen and table.

“Okay, goodnight, Hwa Young.”

I opened my door to see Jonghyun sitting on my bed flipping through a book of mine.

Wait…that book…that’s…THAT’S MY DIARY! Oh …

“Yah! Give that back! It’s not polite to go through other people’s things!” I yelled, taking my book out of his hands.

His expression softened when he saw me. He took my wrist and pulled me down on the bed next to him.

“I think we need to talk.” He said facing me.

I nodded, confused. “About what?”

“Well…Cho Hee is Taemin’s ex-girlfriend. She’s been trying to get him back for some time now. And she saw him kiss you earlier before he left…I don’t think she was happy about it. I know my cousin, and she’s not the type of person to just sit back and watch something get taken from her. That’s why I think you should break up with Taemin.”

His words shocked me, but I regained my composure quickly.

“Why would I break up with him? He’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met. And I’m not gonna ruin our relationship because of an ex-girlfriend of his. Even if she’s letting me stay here, I can’t break up with Taemin. Besides…he’s all I’ve got left. If I lost Taemin, who would I have?”

I replied in a monotone. The last question I asked, I was asking myself mostly. Jonghun’s face turned serious and he leaned closer to me.

“Me.”

As soon as he said that, he pushed me down on the bed gently, and my jawline with his fingertips.

He knows my weakspots…but I can’t do this to Taemin. And I can’t let my hatred for Jonghyun go. I have to resist.

His touch was soft, not aggressive, which surprised me the most. His face was sincere, and he didn’t look mean. For the first time in a long time, he seemed like a human being.

“Hwa Young-ah..” He muttered, his face coming closer to mine.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

Must.Resist.

I shook his arms off and got up quickly. I ran to my window and sat on the windowsill looking out at the nightsky. The moon was alone, unaccompanied by stars. I heard his footsteps walk towards me.

“I’m done with you Jonghyun. You broke up with me, remember? Well I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. I hate you too much.” My words came out like a snake’s venom, intentionally trying to sting him.

His footsteps came to a halt, “Hwa Young-ah, don’t be like this. Please.”

I glared back at him, “Be like what? I have a right to be angry. What girl wouldn’t be angry with you after how much bull I’ve gone through with you if they were me? You’re just lucky I don’t kill you.”

His shock expression proved to me that he thought I would never have the guts to stand up to him.

“I may have been weak in the past, but I’ve changed. I’m strong, and I’m not a fool anymore.” I looked back out the window.

His hand reached out for my shoulder, “You’re still a fool, especially if you’re falling for Taemin’s tricks. He just wants to make Cho Hee jealous. He doesn’t even like you. He told me himself.”

My heart dropped when he said that, but then reality came back to me. “Whatever. You’re just saying that so that I’ll break things off with him. I’m sorry, but that’s not happening. Now, please leave. I’m going to sleep.”

His hand left my shoulder, and he left my room without another word. The door shut quietly behind his departure. I laid down in my bed, and stared at the ceiling with too much on my mind to sleep.

Taemin wouldn’t use me…would he? He told me he likes me…I think I should trust him. And Jonghyun…he just said those things because he wants me and Taemin to break up.

You pabo! Of course he wants you and Taemin to break up, he wants you back!

No…he couldn’t possibly..

Why else would he be so determined on talking you out of your relationship with Taemin?

He just doesn’t want me to be happy…

Okay, yeah. We’ll go with that. Whatever tickles your peach.

Huh?

I shook my head, confused at my own self-argument.

I’m seriously going insane. I thought as I closed my eyes, starting to get a bit sleepy.

All of a sudden, just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard my door creak open. Then I heard slow, small footsteps walking towards my bed. A door down the hallway opened and shut quickly and shuffled footsteps made their way to my room. I kept my eyes closed, confused at what was going on.

“Cho Hee! What are you doing?” I heard someone whisper-shout.

“She’s taking my last chance with Taemin away! She has to go..” Cho Hee replied.

I opened my eyes slightly to see Cho Hee coming at me with a knife. Jonghun ran up behind her and took it from her.

“I don’t care, you can’t hurt her. Let’s go to my room and talk.”

Cho Hee glared at my, what she thought was sleeping, form and walked out of my room reluctantly.

I sat up, shaken from what almost happened.

Who knew this bed, may have very well been my deathbed?