Chapter 4: the truth comes out

Changmin was silent the whole drive home, hands resting unconsciously on his stomach. He wasn’t scared anymore, but it was a little unnerving knowing that there’s something growing inside him, but the thought that that thing growing inside him was a the beginnings of human being, the fetus that is his offspring and carries his genes, made him want to cry. He’d always wanted to raise a child of his own

“Changminnie, Gwaenchanh-a” Deneeka asked as they arrived at the dorms

“ne, Gwaenchanh-ayo” Changmin answered carefully climbing out of the car. Sitting in their dorms living room later Changmin found himself thinking about Jaejoong “he was using me you know” Changmin blurted without thinking

“yeah, I kinda figured,Why” Deneeka asked

“he was dared by his friends” Changmin answered tears welling in his eyes, slipping down his cheeks as he blicked, Deneeka raised her hands using the flats of her thumbs to wipe away the tears before dropping her hand down on Changmin’s stomach which she could tell was harder then his regular stomach muscles

“are you going to keep it” she asked

“I’m not sure I want to, but I’m scared, I don’t want people to find out Eoddeokhae” Changmin answered

“that won‘t happen, you know why, cause I’m going to take to the Dean and get him to take your courses here after Mid-terms, by them you’ll be 4 months” Deneeka answered

“jeongmal, you’d do that, for me” Changmin asked

“ne, Changmin you know you’ve always been there for me, its my turn to be there for you” Deneeka answered, Changmin teared up at that

“thanks Neeka, I love you so much” he answered being his palms up to wipe the tears from his face

“your welcome, now go take your vitamins and go to bed, classes start tomorrow” Deneeka answered, Changmin nodded obediently taking to vitamins before kissing Deneeka on the forehead and headed down the hall to his room. Sleep didn’t come to him immediately, he tossed and turned brain moving rapidly with thought and images of him and Jaejoong, at the rate he was going, he was going to end up stressing himself so much he was going to kill himself and the baby, he got up and wandered toward Deneeka’s room, knocking once

“Neeka can I sleep with you” he asked though the door

“hmm…yea sure” Deneeka replied tiredly, Changmin opened the door and stumbled in reaching the bed where Deneeka was already holding the blankets up for him, he climbed in lying down beside her

“why are you wanting to sleep with me” Deneeka asked as she flipped the lamp on, brightness blinding Changmin making him blink rapidly to get used to the light, once he did he answered

“I’m endangering my life and the life of my little one cause I can’t stop thinking about Jaejoong, I mean I trusted him so much, I gave him my heart and what does he do take it and stomp on it and after seeing him with that girl my heart stopped, then my world crashed down when he told me he was using me” tears streaming down his cheek he used the bed sheets to wipe them

“when did all this happen” Deneeka asked rubbing circles on his belly, usually she’d scratch the back of his neck, but for some reason she felt it would help calm him to rub his belly, or maybe it was just cause she know that something was growning inside of it

“the night before you found me passed out of the floor, I’d gone to the store cause I wanted Ice Cream and pickles really, really bad, I ran into him there with that girl, after, after he told me he was using me my stomach churned and bile rose up my throat, I ran to the bathroom without a word and walked home in a complete fog almost getting hit by a car twice, when I got home I saw that picture of Jae and Me on my dresser and got pissed again, I swipped it off the dresser and threw it at the wall with force then punch the wall, that’s kinda why there a hole, I must have passed out after the baby reacted negatively to my emotional stress” Changmin answered explaining everything as it had happened besides the stuff about the baby cause he didn’t know there was a fetus inside him, much less that if was even possible for a male to get pregnant

“well have you trying looking for someone else” Deneeka asked, Changmin scoffed

“Why would someone want me, I was cuffed to a bed and and now I’m sitting here pregnant” he answered

“that shouldn’t stop you from looking” Deneeka said. There was a long silence after that as Changmin thought over what Deneeka had said, and she was right, what had happened to him and what is happening to him shouldn’t stop him from trying to look for someone to replace Jaejoong and to help him raise the fetus inside him, but there was no one he was interested in much less trusted, sides most of them where Jaejoong’s friends anyway and there no way in hell what he was going to raise his child with that, he frown sighing as he placed his head against the pillow Deneeka had already turned off the light. The last thing he felt before clunking out completely was Deneeka’s hand once again rubbing small circles on his belly, it some how calmed him, or maybe in calmed the baby which calmed him, either way he liked it and it worked.