Kami na ni Jimin Yu. 

In other words, girlfriend ko na siya, akin na siya, she's officially mine—at ako, si Minjeong Kim, ang jowa niya.

I can legally hold her hand, kiss her, hug her, and sleep next to her whenever I want; I can ask her out on dates, tell her I love her, and make her feel a million things all at once. And am I confident? No. The fear of messing up is still there at marami pa akong hindi alam. But my girlfriend never fails to tell me that we'll figure things out together when comes—that no matter what happens, we'll find a way to work things out. Kung paano daw kami mag-away as friends, she believes gano'n lang din kami mag-away as magjowa. Label lang talaga nadagdagan and we're still like how we've always been. But we'll see. Basta more than anything else, we need not worry because we're best friends first. Malaking tulong dapat 'yun sa relasyon namin.

"Should we sit at your usual table?" She asks, stopping us from our tracks before entering the cafeteria. Galing kami ng room 304 kung saan ginanap ang year-end meeting namin sa math club tapos sinundo niya ako. Because she was all giggly and smiley outside the room, maaga ko tuloy pinatapos ang meeting. Let's say na-excite akong makasama siya. Tuwang-tuwa din naman ang mga miyembro paglabas nila para batiin si Jimin. Kay Jimin pa talaga sila nag-thank you. "Or kila Yunjin tayo if it's okay?" Napasilip ako saglit sa bintana para tignan sila: katabi ni Yunjin si Chaewon, Gaeul's there, Ryujin's there, and Yujin too. "They're kind of expecting us though since you know..."

It's the last day of the first semester in case I haven't mentioned it yet. And for the past week, Jimin and I have been inseparable sa campus. Either nasa library kami nagrereview for our exams, o nasa garden sa likod ng school dahil tahimik at hindi matao dito. Tsaka sadyang iniiwasan talaga namin ang mga tao dahil inaasar nila kami. What happened in the auditorium is still a hot topic eh. Dumagdag pa nga ang follow requests ko sa Instagram ko. Overnight fame kumbaga. Maraming taga-Brent, Kwangya, at Enderun na nag-follow sa amin. Nag-trend daw kasi ang twenty thousand pesos kiss namin sa Twitter.

Do I mind? Siyempre po! Unang tumatak sa isip ko ay paano kung umabot sa magulang ni Jimin ang nangyari? It's always been on my mind pa naman na ligawan muna ang magulang ng magiging partner ko. Kaso, ayun...na-excite sa label. Kaya aayusin ko once nahatid ko na si Jimin sa kanila.

With my dad naman, I called him the next morning after waking up with Jimin on the couch. Ayun yung nilagnat na kami parehas from our previous night in the rain. Sabi ni dad he expected it and he'll wait for my kwento paguwi ko sa Baguio for the holidays. Although pinagiisipan niya pa kung dito nalang kami sa Maynila mag-celebrate para may kasama si Lola Lulu. Matutuwa 'yun kapag nalaman niya na kami na ni Jimin.

Pero ayun nga, kahit fresh pa ang nangyari sa auditorium, naisipan ko pa ring ayain si Jimin na kumain sa cafeteria. And it's really considerate of her to ask kung doon ba kami sa usual table ko or with her friends. Hindi ko na siya sinagot at hinawakan nalang ang kaniyang kamay na alam kong kanina niya pa gustong hawakan. Pulling her in with me, I kindly led the way as we finally entered the cafeteria para puntahan ang lamesa ng mga kaibigan niya. Ayun talaga rason kung bakit ako nag-aya dito. Para masamahan niya mga kaibigan niya sa last day knowing I already took most of her time this week.

"Hey, sure ka? I don't want you uncomfortable with everyone around." She says as we slowly walk our way through the crowd. I can feel a lot of students staring at us, the whispering, the kept in squeals...sa totoo lang, nacoconscious pa din ako. Public display of affection really isn't my thing. But Jimin, she's naturally very showy sa actions niya and it makes me feel good. I just know if I do the same, she'll be able to feel what she makes me feel and I don't want her to miss out on that.

One thing I also noticed kay Jimin throughout the first few days of our relationship, she's overly considerate sa akin to the point na simpleng bagay ay kusa na siyang mag-aadjust, not even letting me try. We haven't really gotten the chance to talk about this dahil naging busy kami sa pag-review at pagtapos nung short story namin, pero I really hope she knows na kaya ko ding mag-adjust para sa kaniya. Everything may feel new and scary but I really am willing. I'll do anything not to mess up—I'll do anything for her. And despite being together, we can still be in our separate worlds naman. Me at my own table, and her with her friends. But when I told her that last night in bed, pinagsabihan niya ako:

"Minjeong, you really expect me to let that happen after wasting three years with you?" Napatikom ako ng bibig. I mean, tama naman siya. She has all the right to cling onto me now more than ever after making her go through the stupid set-up against her will. I guess, given the fact that she has friends and I don't, I'm more wary in the aspect of taking too much of her time. I don't want her friends to get the wrong thing even if Jimin and I are just trying to make up for lost time. 

We have the rest of our lives to do that anyway.

Pero bahala na, baka kabag lang 'tong lahat. I should really stop overthinking and overanalyzing too much. Go with the flow lang, just like what Ate Eunbi said to me days ago.

Minjeong, go with the flow lang. You got this.

"Ayan na ang love birds," Yunjin greeted us with a tease as we approached them. I made sure to smile. "Himala sumabay kayo sa amin. Tatampo na sana ako—last day tapos hindi kayo magpapakita?!" Si Ryujin naman ang nagsalita. 

"Minjeong insisted," Jimin chuckled as she responded, and I love how we can freely call each other the way we want na. "Anyway, bili muna kaming pagkain. We'll be right back."

Of course, we'll both be having our favorite meal in the cafeteria to end the semester with—it's none other than sisig rice. Ang bilis talaga ng oras. I can still remember my first day at campus. Ito yung pinakaunang pagkain na tinry ko. Hindi kami same block ni Jimin no'n so hindi sabay ang lunch namin. I was so scared to eat without her tapos ni-recommend niya ito sa akin:

Me: Jimin? Lunch ko na po. :((

Jimtot 🌻: Hala ang weird we're not sabay 😭😭😭

Jimtot 🌻: May kasabay ka ba??? Kain ka marami ha? Yung sisig rice sobrang masarap, u should try!!!

Me: Okay po, try ko yan!

Jimtot 🌻: Sino muna kasabay mo? 🙁

Me: Classmates hehe

I lied that day. Alam ko kasing maaawa siya sa akin kapag sinabi kong wala akong kasabay. It was also a terrible first day for me actually...I'd do anything to forget that day.

Jimtot 🌻: Minjeong, bago ka kumain, can you promise me na hindi moko pagpapalit?

I remember tearing up when she sent that. Because how could I ever?

Jimtot 🌻: Seen?

Jimtot 🌻: Heyy where's the promise?? Inaaya na ako ng mga kaklase kong mag tiktok eh :(( 

Looking back, I think I should've been the one asking for the promise. But all I could do is laugh about it now.

Jimtot 🌻: Minjeong, promise me ako pa rin.

Me: Hmm

Jimtot 🌻: Hindi ko na ieelaborate basta ako pa rin.

Me: I promise.

Since then, I kept it like an oath. I kept my walls shut so only Jimin could enter. But unfortunately, someone was bold enough to trespass, violating my space that's only meant for Jimin and I. And I'll never forgive myself for letting that happen—for letting her happen, no matter how many times Ate Eunbi has tried to convince me that it wasn't my fault. That none of it was my fault. 

Jimin, ikaw lang ever since.

Napatingin naman ako sa kanya. Nakapulupot ang kaniyang mga braso sa kanang braso ko habang nakapila ako. Patingin-tingin din siya sa kung saan-saan sa cafeteria and it's making me wonder, "Hanap mo po?" She was quick to look at me.

"Oh, n-nothing. Pansin ko lang na wala si Minju." She says, at saka ko lang napansin.

"Baka hindi sumabay..." Hula ko.

"But she'll attend the club meeting naman later, right?" Tumango ako.

"Opo, sinabihan ko naman siya kanina sa class after nung exam. Ayun yung kinausap ka ni Sir Romy." Sabi ko. "Nga pala, ano sabi ni Sir sa'yo? About ba sa story natin?"

"Yeah, he just complimented it and gave more comments para i-revise daw natin ngayong Christmas break. Pinabasa niya daw sa staff niya and they loved it!" Tuwa niyang sabi. "Tayo nga daw nila Jeno highest eh. He's confident our entries will make it to the conference. Can you believe it? We might go to Austria!" Napangiti ako.

Jimin's always wanted to become a writer, a successful author rather. This is exactly the validation she needs to let herself realize she'll become one someday. And once she does, I'll make sure it solds out everywhere.

"Minjeong, baka matunaw ako." She chuckles, awakening me from my state of mind. I must have been admiring her too much. "Anyway, ikaw na next sa pila, ha? It's dalawang spicy na sisig rice. Baka kasi pangalan ko ang masabi mo." Agad ko siyang sinapak sa braso. Ang hilig niya talaga akong asarin!

Hays, till this day, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na kami na.

Jimin's really mine now eh, 'no? 

"I've always been yours, Minjeong." I recall what she said to me last night before we went to bed. And I don't think I'll grow tired of reminding myself that everyday.

-

Jimin and I were the first ones to arrive at room 110. Tinulungan niya din akong maglinis at ayusin ang mga upuan habang hindi pa dumadating ang ibang members. Ang ganap usually sa year-end meeting namin ay simpleng chess match lang against the club president. Dahil ako ang may hawak ng title ngayon, ako ang kakalabanin nila. At kung sino man ang makakatalo sa akin, siya ang susunod. Knowing myself, I'd let Jimin win. But I can't let that happen dahil dagdag responsibilidad lang ito sa kaniya. Sa totoo lang, gusto ko na din ibigay ang posisyon sa iba lalo na't mag-iinternship na kami next semester—baka hindi kayanin ng oras ko. Let alone, may isa pa akong club na hina-handle. Si Jeno sana papasalo ko since vice naman siya pero ayaw niya na din daw. Fofocus din daw siya sa internship. Kaya ngayon, namomroblema ako kung kanino ko pwede ibigay ang posisyon. Siyempre, hindi ko basta-basta ibibigay sa kahit kanino. Yung responsable pa rin at passionate sa laro dapat. But knowing my members—after me, Jeno, and Jimin—the only person who I think would be most suitable for the position is none other than the person Jimin's looking for right now. 

Minju. 

Pero halos mapuno na yung kwarto at wala pa rin sila. When we asked the other members kanina kung nakita ba nila si Minju, sabi nung iba na nakita daw nila siya sa library at agad na pinuntahan ito ni Jimin. Sa ngayon, hinihintay ko nalang mag-update ang misis ko.

"Boss, congrats!" Paglapit sa akin ni Jeno sabay nakiki-apir sa akin. "Balita ko kayo ni Rina highest sa creative writing...nanghingi nga ako copy eh. Grabe, ikaw na ikaw si Erin Joyce!" I congratulated him as well at tinanggap ang apir niya. Balita ko 92 ang nakuha niya sa short story niya kaso hindi ko pa nababasa. 

"Yung iyo, hindi mo ba ipapabasa sa amin?" Tanong ko. Napakamot agad siya ng ulo.

"Ah- eh..."

Naramdaman ko naman ang pag-vibrate ng selpon ko na agad kong kinuha sa bulsa.

Ang misis 💙: Minjeong, sorry now lang po nakapag-ud huhu been trying to convince minju to attend. Kanina pa kami naguusap here. She says need niya ng space and ayaw niya pumunta but i'll make sure she does. Mwa, amishu..yung kiss ko later ha? 😭😭😭😘

Natawa naman ako sa paggamit niya ng emojis. Pati si Jeno natawa. Nakibasa pa nga ang mokong na ito, kaasar! Pinandilatan ko siya ng mata at agad ito nagseryoso ng mukha. "Nakikibasa ka?" I playfully striked.

"Luh, boss...joke lang eh. Gusto ko lang naman malaman ano call sign niya sa'yo." Napa-tilt ako ng ulo. Call sign? Ayun yung sinasabi nilang tawagan ng magjowa, diba? Ramdam ko ang pag-init ng aking mga pisngi. "B-bakit? Pakielam mo?" Mahina kong sagot, nahihiya at binaling ang tingin sa iba.

"Eh syempre! Nakaka-curious kaya! For sure baby ang tawag sa'yo ni misis," Kumunot ang noo ko. Lagi niya kasi akong inaasar na mukha akong baby. "And knowing you, feel ko pangalan niya pa rin ang tatawagin mo sa kanya." 

"Excuse me?!" I acted offended. "Anong akala mo sa akin? Syempre may tawag ako sa kanya 'no!" I lied. Hindi ko pa ito napagisipan. In fact, had Jeno not brought it up, it wouldn't have crossed my mind this soon. 

Hmm...call sign? Kailangan ba meron? Jimin calls me by my name anyway. Tsaka hindi ba call sign na itong contact name ko sa kanya? Call signs are like nicknames, right? Ugh, bakit ba ito bini-big deal? And should I even worry? Masyado pa naman atang maaga para sa amin ni Jimin. I'm afraid wala pa kami sa stage na iyon. Kahit kilalang-kilala na namin ni Jimin ang isa't isa, romantically we don't. Nagkikibuan pa kami, getting to know more of our likes and dislikes, even setting rules for one another and creating a bucketlist full of activities for the both of us. But call signs? Parang wala naman nang essence yung "baby" at "babe" nowadays kung ayun na ang tawagan nila ng mga kaibigan niya.

"Oh, nakasimangot ka naman diyan bigla." He paused, "Wala pa kayong tawagan 'no?" smirking at me.

Hindi ko na siya pinansin at lumakad na palayo.

"Etong si pikon naman! Boss, hindi na!" Pagsigaw ni Jeno sa akin nang makalapit ako sa pinto. "Saan ka naman pupunta?"

"Puntahan ko si Jimin sa library!" Pagpaalam ko sa kanya, hoping the rest of the members heard me too para informed din sila.

...

Nang makarating ako ng library, bungad agad ang likod ni Minju at ang seryosong mukha ng girlfriend ko. Nandoon sila sa non-fiction aisle nag-uusap. Lalapitan ko sana sila agad kaso biglang lumaki ang mga mata ni Jimin nang makita niya ako. Agad niyang niyakap si Minju at sinenyasan akong lumayo. 'Wag daw ako lumapit. Umalis daw ako.

Nakakapagtaka naman pero sinunod ko siya—medyo. Imbes na umalis, gumilid lang ako at maingat na pinuntahan ang katabing aisle nila para maki-chismis. They're both whispering.

"Look, Rina...thanks for the hug, I guess? Pero I said what I said, okay? I'm doing this out of respect sa inyo," Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi ni Minju.

Anong "out of respect" sa amin ni Jimin?

"Yeah, but you can't avoid us forever?" Sagot naman ni Jimin. "I appreciate what you're trying to do for us but you don't need to naman. And plus you like chess! I'd hate to see our relationship get in the way of your hobbies. Even Minjeo- I mean, Winter likes how passionate you are with it. You can't just-"

"Rina," Minju cuts her off. "I may be doing this out of respect sa inyo, but I'm also doing this for me, okay?" I hear her take a deep breath before moving on. "In case you're forgetting, I have feelings to try and get rid of."

Feelings?

"Minju, please." I hear my girlfriend pleading. "Today nalang, promise. Winter wants us all to be there and I'll make sure next semester na ano...i-ikaw bahala, basta welcome ka pa rin sa amin. Kaya just for today, be with us. At hindi ba gusto mo siyang talunin? Maybe it'll be the perfect closure for you kung matalo mo nga."

"And what if I don't?"

Katahimikan—well, tahimik naman talaga sa library.

"Then maybe telling her how you feel's the only right way to go." Jimin finally responded, my mind immediately doing a short-circuit.

May gusto sa akin si Minju?! 

"Katarina Yu, are you hearing yourself right now? You're basically telling me to confess to her. Your girlfriend." Minju emphasizes on the last part.

"I know what I said, Minju. But if I were you, it's really the only option that would help." Pinakinggan ko ng maigi si Jimin. "Look, the more you keep it in, the more it stays, sinasabi ko na sa'yo." Hindi sumagot si Minju. "You lose, you tell her. If you win...edi ikaw president next sem. And it's not like mag-iinternship ka na. Hindi ba sabi mo sa amin may backlogs ka pa?" Maingat akong sumilip sa mga libro para makita sila. Kita kong tumatango lang si Minju.

Great, mukhang may sasalo na ng posisyon ko. Bilang transferee si Minju, may mga hahabulin pa siyang units kaya hindi namin ito kasabay grumaduate next sem. Kung totoong hindi pa siya mag-iinternship, I think goods lang na i-handle niya ang chess club. Bilib naman ako sa kanya.

"So ano? Will you go? Para sabay na tayo and I really meant it when I said she's expecting you-"

"Yeah, whatever—just go ahead. I'll go use the CR muna." I suddenly hear her footsteps going away.